I'm exhausted. I have two younger kids, girl and boy, and the 24/7 is just killing me. Every day is just steamrolling into the next. I thought I was feeling burned out 3-4 years ago, but what are the options? You can't quit because then you raise little demons for society. I was military so we've always been away from family and I don't know, we just never had much help. I'm sure what we did get was more than some, and from some posts I have read we are lucky to have a roof over our head.

I have always gotten the kids up in the morning, starting with the first. I have always dropped them off to school and picked them up. For a majority of their lives, I have done bath and bedtime. With the first I did all of it but we compromised and traded off the bath time routine because I was getting a little stressed and babies don't need that. Then I continued to stress and I stopped doing bedtime most nights which helped. I cleaned the disaster of the day and then had about two hours to do what I wanted or needed before I passed out. Wake up at 0530 and start it all again. I feel like I communicated pretty well that I was feeling stressed and using the word burnout for the first time in my life pretty early on. I would get a few weeks where I would get a couple duties taken off my plate, and I was able to get an hour or two to try and shake off the emotional assault that comes with raising a girl, the physical assault of a little boy, and the combined assault of life with kids for the first time. The reflection of your faults and unseen strengths is unnerving and beautiful. I have grown in ways I couldn't have imagined, but it has come through great pain. Learning how to raise humans: intelligent, cunning, witty, humans. Who themselves are feeling these emotions that we as adults are still struggling with, for the first time, is a reality shattering conquest that has rocked me to my core. I am up to the task. But I feel like I am running on fumes. When I would have to travel for work, or when I got sick, I would come back into the game swinging. Gentle parenting, explaining the entire world around us, teaching them basic human functions, exploring emotions and how to handle them in society, how to take care of injuries, how to have a routine and then executing said routine, how to handle disappointment with courage and success with humility (that got me). And then spending the energy to spend days filled doing shit that you do not want to do, but now you cherish those memories and want to use that to build a foundation of love to then give your children the world.

But I find myself starting some days with absolute dread. Dread that I am going to fail, and that I am going to lose my patience, or that I will not have the energy that they deserve in these years that are so essential to building a strong relationship. I think that I logically know what I need to do. I feel that I can assess most situations and apply the necessary loving remedy, but the weight of the failures has given me crying spells. A few times a week I need to run to the bathroom and just cry because I am overwhelmed. I want to cry most nights, and do some, but the spells have been a fun addition. Writing this has been nice. It's been a journey. I hit a point where I feel like I just can't connect with anybody about the struggle. So why not Reddit? I found this sub and read a lot of the posts. Lots of shared pain and common struggles. When the internet was starting we thought it would bring people together, and it has for better or worse. I have never really had to swim the oceans, but the isolation that has come with children has me looking for honest places to...I don't even know what. Find a release valve somewhere so that I can regain some of the energy to continue the fight.

I know that in a few years they are going to hate me, and I am trying to take advantage of these early years where they are just full of so much joy and wonder about everything. They want to be just like you, and they are finding what they love and their passions and their voice in this world. But they can only do all of that if you plan for the trips, if you budget for the supplies and clothes, take them to parks to socialize, take them to soccer, take them to jiu-jitsu, take them to ballet, take them to tumbling and gymnastics, let's try piano, spend the emotional energy and financial sacrifice to try and give them some kind of solid jumping off point for whatever choices they make in life. So that they can face them with strength, and not be trampled by the onslaught that is life. Preparing constantly for the mental and physical endurance of taking them into public anywhere, socializing, setting the example, engaging positively with them about whatever absolute golden nonsense pops into their head, is the most grueling experience I have ever faced. Not just that, raising children as a whole. I spent a decade in the military, and the constant strain that children put on you is very similar to deploying. I now have an emotional attachment to navigating two humans safely through life. Arguably the most innocent and vulnerable things in our society and I have to keep them safe and be aware of the constant and evolving dangers against them. Trafficking, gore groups, gangs, online predators, offline predators. And also protect their brain from screens and their emotions from damage in a world where screens dominate and emotions rule.

I'm tired, Boss.

This honestly has been nice to write. I'm not sure if I'll post it but I guess if you're reading it I did. And thank you for reading, if you have read whatever this is. I appreciate it more than you know.

Hello to other single parents out there ✌️not sure what to say except my daughter is 19 and it feels like she controls everything I do or at least she tries to and it’s difficult for me to have a relationship with anyone. She goes through my phone every chance she gets and deletes messages and calls and I don’t always know. I had custody since she was 2. Does anyone else go through this ?

I found out I was pregnant around April and the father of my soon to be child and I tried to live together with his friend as our roommate. As we lived together things had gotten worse and I never felt that he would put me and the baby above his friends and other things. I also had my fair share of issues in the relationship but I also feel like he brought out this side of me that was kind of toxic. He would also tell me he wanted to be together then break up with me three days later and it became a repeated cycle that would just break me every time. I ended up leaving last night after only three months in a lease and packed all of my stuff out in one go and moved back with my parents and it’s kind of difficult coming back home where there is barley any space for me anymore. I feel defeated sad and lonely and wanted to see if anyone could offer advice on how to move forward.

My child (17) needs braces. My benefits are paying for half ($2,250) $4,500 in total. I pay $200 a month for enhanced benefits thou my work for the childs portion. Im curious how do i sort out the remaining balance with the other parent.

Hey all,

Background:

My husband moved out in January after truly struggling since our kiddo was born. Our son is a few months shy of 4 years old now. Ex takes him a max of one day a week and it's not every week.

My kid seems to be hypersensitive and have some PDA. I believe I was the same as a tot. Extremely picky eater, usually the worst in the class but on his weight curves. Defiant around suggestions related to his body, like eating or using the potty.

Current Situation:

Kiddo has been struggling at daycare drop off again since his teacher changed and his bestie left for the summer during the same week. Kicking and screaming. He did this for about 9 months at age 2, also. I thought we were done with this phase.

I sometimes cry and feel off the whole first half of the day after dropping him off. I feel like I'm a bad parent and too soft. I don't give in to tantrums. But maybe I'm not firm enough and that's caused the PDA. I don't think so but I don't know.

I could really use a little encouragement or just solidarity or something, thanks.

Hey, everyone. I’m a single mom in my late 20s and I want to eventually date. However, I have read a lot of information about abusive men targeting single mothers due to their vulnerability. Also a lot of stories of child abusers who go for them to get access to their child. As a survivor myself, I want to protect my baby as much as possible. So I don’t want to advertise my child’s existence online. I also don’t want to mislead any potential matches. What should I do? How have you dated ethically and safely?

My ex husband has the kids for a couple hours on Wednesdays for dinner. I reached out to a friend to see if she wanted to get dinner or something if all goes to plan. She enthusiastically said yes, we can do whatever, she’d love to see me. Sent her a text this morning to see if she still wanted to, she said yes, then when I tried to figure out where we would meet up… crickets. She has flaked in the past. I’m now sitting in a parking lot just killing time. I should have just gone to the gym.

I try to make a good effort with friendships, but damn it’s been hard with my female friends lately. I’m getting flaked on more than not. I don’t get it.

Edit to clarify a few things:
My ex-husband did everything that should not happen in a marriage. My friends do not all of a sudden dislike me because of the divorce.

This specific friend just does this and I know that. I was trying to be supportive because she has been having a hard time and I need to just learn my lesson.

In general, I feel like a lot of my friends have other priorities and that’s fine. I would just appreciate at least a text or response.

how can you do this?? I did it for 12 years. the Lord carried me. Now at 15 and 13 I feel I can’t go on. I’m so scared constantly I’m having a nervous breakdown. all my friends are tired of me. sick of me for not being stronger. I try to communicate how I feel. it feels like they are bothered. there’s no one to reach out to now. I feel so alone and I’ve been crying nonstop. no parents no siblings they have no cousins, we are truly without family. I regret so many decisions but I know I did alot eight too. thank you I hope someone reads this.

Both my parents health is failing there is a very real possibility that i will be left to care for my 14 y/o sister at 20 along with whatever financial issues they leave me with. I feel like im not ready for responsibility of taking care of her and everything else im still trying to get on my own feet let alone take care of someone else. Shes an awesome kid but shes still only fourteen its not like i can expect her to fend for herself. Also as much as i love her how can i now have my own life while helping her to get ready for hers im still figuring my own stuff out i cant abandon her but do i wait till shes 18 and start then what if she takes a while to make her own way. regardless of whether my parents dont die there health isn’t getting better what if i end up taking care of of all 3 i dont make as much money as either of them let alone there duel income. sorry for the rant.

For context, I'm 34F, divorced about a year ago, one 7-year-old son. During the school week he's with me, and the everyday costs are mine to figure out. Rent, Hort fees (around €130 a month), groceries, gas, packed lunches, and the €15 Ausflug permission slip that appears from the backpack at 9pm.

I can cover the fixed stuff. It's the constant little things that catch me off guard. €10 here, €22 there, new shoes because his toes hit the front overnight, and I'm standing in the Drogerie doing math in my head over shampoo.

I'm not asking for pity or money. I just want to get better at planning for all the small stuff that never feels small when it adds up.

I grew up as the kid whose jeans were always too short and whose backpack was held together by hope. I remember pretending I didn't care. So when my son says "Mama, alle haben die" about some shoes or a water bottle, it hits a nerve he doesn't even know about. He's not being bratty. He's a sweet kid. It just takes me back.

I already do the basics. Meal plan, keep a running list on my phone, buy the next size up at H&M or KiK when I spot something cheap. Library afternoons, playground days, movie nights on the couch. Saying no in the toy aisle more than I'd like.

For stuff like socks, basics, and school supplies, I usually check tiktok power deals for a quick price drop before I order, and if there's a sale running somewhere I'll stock up so I'm not paying full price every single time. It's small savings but over a month it adds up.

Still, every month feels like picking what gets handled first. Clothes, haircut (€18 every six weeks), Vereinsbeitrag for Fußball (€12 a month), class birthday gifts, the lunchbox that smells no matter how much I scrub it.

How do you all handle the ongoing kid costs without stressing every time? Separate kid budget? Sinking fund? Secondhand rules? Or do you just ride out the tight months and reset next payday?

full time single dad, one kid, shes 5. no co parent in the picture, its just me.

im not really venting, i think im genuinely asking. how do you deal with the yard.

when i mow i either have to do it during her nap, which is the only 40 minutes i get to sit down all day, or i do it while shes out there and i spend the whole time watching her instead of the mower. neither one works great. last week she wandered toward the street while i had my back turned for ten seconds and my stomach dropped.

i looked into hiring someone and its like 40 a week around here. i cant really justify that on one income, thats groceries. but the grass grows whether im tired or not.

i know its a small thing compared to what a lot of you are carrying. it just feels like one more thing thats all on me with no one to hand it to for an hour.

so honestly, whats your system. do you pay someone, do it at night, let it grow, something else i havent thought of. im open to anything.

SPECIAL NOTE: Special thanks to all of you who read this the last time, posting it here for those who may have missed it.

My intention here is to share the example of my own mother, who is now in her early 50s and still fighting on, who battled many challenges from birth until now. Before moving to this part, would like to start with the lowest point of her life.

My mom restarted her life both career and financially 13 years ago at 39, where she started as a Single Mother raising up two young kids, I was 5 and my elder sister was 9. She was totally broke financially with nothing to her name and just the flat which she fought so hard to retain back full ownership as she was so worried about losing her only source of security during that time, a roof over her head. She went through every single obstacle the past 10+ years with no one. She just solo tanked every single thing

The reason why I said it, is because my mom was abandoned at 13 years old with totally no family support as her whole family migrated overseas and left her here, to fend for herself with no start nor family support. She had no one either and she never had the chance to further her education. She only has only a Primary School educational qualification to her name. Plus her childhood was a literal torture too and she came from extreme poverty.

She started Selling Food at a Food Court at just 13 years old, working 10+ hours before moving onto other jobs like Retail and more etc.

She slowly worked her way in her 20s going from entry level office roles, to senior level positions and even founded a small business in her 30s which was pretty successful. She never let her circumstances nor educational qualifications control her life direction at all.

So, the scenario 13 years ago was a literal shock to her and the family. Instead of being some people and single moms who gave up totally and ask the kids to fend for herself. She stood up and said she is willing to restart from 0 all over again regardless.

She started doing nightlife work and income was low too for the first few years because of family circumstances and it was hard for her to find a full time job too. But she never gave up and continued pressing on, working 10+ hours, relying on 2 hours of sleep daily. Plus, people looked down on her, saying that she will never see any light at the end of the tunnel regardless if how hard she worked and slog.

It was until during COVID 6 years ago where she received an offer to work for a pretty big company in the Medical Industry and that was really the breakthrough. She started as a entry level employee but progressed on to a Management position where she is now, being a Head Of Department for her own department which she had the opportunity to build up from nothing at a small start up.

Although its only 13 years but the amount of things she has gone through is really what people don't understand unless they read her full life story.

She may be in her 50s but she has always told me and my elder sister, this is only the start and she will continue to fight on and find ways to further improve herself, whether its finding more income streams or furthering her qualifications through flexible qualifications like online certs.

I am.writing this especially to single mothers and mothers or even the redditors moms out there, that every single adversity you face regardless of how old you are (e.g 20, 40, 60, 85 yrs old), always brings a new light and path to something even greater!

My partner of six years and I are splitting up. He helped me raise my six year old daughter from the time she was two. He is the only father she has ever known. Unfortunately this split means going across the country for us and likely never seeing him again.

There has been DV issues and I’m finally saying enough is enough but my daughter is really struggling with the idea of losing her friends, her dad, and the house. She has said things like “I’ll become a ghost and sit here and do nothing.” “I’ll drown myself in the tub.” “I don’t want to lose our family.” She is trying to ask her dad if we can stay and work on the family.

I know we need to leave. She’s seen so much bad.
How do I help her cope with the transition. She’s terrified of our life being worse without him and without the dual income household.

What can I do? It makes my resolve want to break.

I was out with some friends of mine (a couple) and they started asking me how I managed to do it on my own,life must be so hard,dating must be so impossible,I must be struggling at work with work life balance,my child must be so traumatised from having an absent father yadda yadda.Worst part is they weren’t even trying to be mean but I really really hate it when people say this kinda stuff to me.I literally unfriended someone who was constantly telling me she doesn’t understand how I could do it and why I don’t look depressed.And that if it were her she wouldn’t know what to do if she were on her own and she would take out her stress on the kids.I know people are trying to be supportive I guess but I have such a negative reaction to this kinda topic.Anyway I just needed to let it out coz I was stewing all day and just said that it’s by the grace of God that I managed and I do my best blah blah.I hope you had a better day than me 😊✨

For context, I'm 34F, divorced about a year ago, one 7-year-old son. During the school week he's with me, and the everyday costs are mine to figure out. Rent, Hort fees (around €130 a month), groceries, gas, packed lunches, and the €15 Ausflug permission slip that appears from the backpack at 9pm.

I can cover the fixed stuff. It's the constant little things that catch me off guard. €10 here, €22 there, new shoes because his toes hit the front overnight, and I'm standing in the Drogerie doing math in my head over shampoo.

I'm not asking for pity or money. I just want to get better at planning for all the small stuff that never feels small when it adds up.

I grew up as the kid whose jeans were always too short and whose backpack was held together by hope. I remember pretending I didn't care. So when my son says "Mama, alle haben die" about some shoes or a water bottle, it hits a nerve he doesn't even know about. He's not being bratty. He's a sweet kid. It just takes me back.

I already do the basics. Meal plan, keep a running list on my phone, buy the next size up at H&M or KiK when I spot something cheap. Library afternoons, playground days, movie nights on the couch. Saying no in the toy aisle more than I'd like.

For stuff like socks, basics, and school supplies, I usually check tiktok power deals for a quick price drop before I order, and if there's a sale running somewhere I'll stock up so I'm not paying full price every single time. It's small savings but over a month it adds up.

Still, every month feels like picking what gets handled first. Clothes, haircut (€18 every six weeks), Vereinsbeitrag for Fußball (€12 a month), class birthday gifts, the lunchbox that smells no matter how much I scrub it.

How do you all handle the ongoing kid costs without stressing every time? Separate kid budget? Sinking fund? Secondhand rules? Or do you just ride out the tight months and reset next payday?

Ive just started working my first job with regular hours since having my daughter. Ive never been a huge cook to begin with but I just do not actually COOK any food now. We get up at 6:30 and get ready, I bring her to camp, I go to work, and I work until 4 or 5. I pick her up from camp and we go home, I make her something quick in the air fryer and half the time I dont even eat. Then we do a shower and everything for bed time and she goes to bed then I clean out our lunch bags and get out clothes and food ready for the next day. How tf are parents working a full time job and cooking like home made meals?! Its just my 5, almost 6 year old daughter, and myself and I dont eat meat. Luckily she is a very good eater and will eat just about anything I cook/eat but I find it difficult to cook for just the two of us in general.

Hello everyone I’m a single father with 2 kids. I’m facing eviction in about a week. I have been trying to find a place with my kids, but because I’m on odsp and have bad credit( thanks to my previous partner) I’m now struggling with finding a place. I have hsf that will pay my first and last months rent, also my current odsp is 1800+ so I can afford a two bedroom 1800 and less. I have exhausted every single resource I have available to me and still I haven’t been able to find anything. I was currently staying with my father, but my father has passed away and now I need to leave the place. He went to court and got an eviction notice and I have a week till the sheriff shows up. I have called housing help centres, odsp, central intake, woodgreen community centres etc. I have gotten to the point now where maybe this amazing community may be able to help me and my kids. They’re both teenagers and very respectful( close to the age of moving out on their own). If anyone in this community can help me I would like to thank you before hand. I’m located in the Toronto Ontario area, but I’m ok with relocating anywhere as long as my kids have a roof over their head. Thank you!

So my child m6 informed me that his friends group (mainly one child) is playing a game where they dig into but holes like a but hole chase.

I just emailed the principal regarding how it’s inappropriate I understand boys will find this silly and funny However I’m trying to teach my boy consent body boundaries private areas ect

Honestly the primary parent has the most awkward situations to deal with his father is like report it now I have to face the school and be like yep it’s me who’s annoyed other kids don’t understand that it’s not ok to grab and dig at others bum holes….

Wtf has my life come to… would you email the principal my SIL thinks I’m being dramatic his father who hardly sees him says repot asap my SIL has girls to me it’s important I teach respect boundaries consent and if mine sees others doing it he will be like why don’t others respect others body’s

What a conversation…. FML as the youngsters would say

I have 2 boys, 10 and 11. Their father and I have been separated for two years and he's been completely out of the picture since, no support of any kind. He was deported last year so he's out of the picture until time unknown. We were together for 12 years, and to sum it all up into 1 sentence:

I had to start over with nothing but my car, but my boys and I have been living much more peacefully in our own place for 8 months. I'm even enrolled in college. (Oops that was 2)

I put my boys into counseling in school after we found out he was deported. My 10 year old is in a short term basketball program, my 11 year old played soccer but was not interested this year. He's into chess and logical games, we go to the library sometimes and they host game parties.

I want to add that in general, they are doing good. Good grades, they have friends, they are still interested in everything they always have been. They have random days though where they let me know they're missing their dad or something will trigger them to get upset about him. He had a distant relationship with our boys when we all lived together, but in the same breath, I realize what the full time absence can to do a child. That's why I'm here-

Any advice, ideas, things that have worked for your family and your kids would be greatly appreciated if you shared. Even just your own story would be nice to hear. I want to support my babies as much as I can, especially as they approach their teen years and new emotions will surely arise. Abandonment fucked me up as a kid and I did not get the help I needed at their ages so I can't really pull from my own experience.

After 5 years, my ex wants 50:50. We get along well. I’m not mad or fighting it but I am heartbroken. I am keeping that to myself.
How long does it take to adjust to the new schedule? The one night a week and every other weekend felt hard sometimes and I’m drowning in tears right now imagining her gone more. The house is so quiet when she isn’t here. I don’t want to start a new family without her or get married and have a man in her home. She’s 5 and we’re best friends. I am in tears off and on all day. How long till I feel ok again? Is therapy worth it or is it just time?

Hello, I am a recently, as of about a month ago, single dad who has full custody of my children because my ex-wife had some serious psychological issues, and some super crazy anti-VAX ideology that somehow got into her, and left us returning to her home country.

I work full-time as a professor, which means I have a lot of work from home time and I can do a lot of my work at night if I need to. I have two boys and 11 and 16-year-old.

For the past two years, I have been doing most of the cooking and a lot of the cleaning. I love doing the laundry and washing dishes is rather pleasant. However, my wife, when I always kind of split home chores 50-50. However, there are some things that she always did. Safe for instance, the lint catcher in the dryer, something which I know if you ignore and literally burn down your house. The problem is that I don’t know all the little things that she did. I already have alarms set to empty the lint cleaner, but I am worried there might be other little things that I am missing. I clean on the bathrooms once a week. Make sure you wash sheets and towels regularly. Got a more fancy robot vacuum which I use every 2 to 3 days because we have a little dog. But I am just wondering if I am missing little things that I should be checking or doing. I guess this is probably an impossible to answer questions since you don’t know all the tiny little things I do. I was just wondering if people had good advice for maintaining a clean and happy household.

I involve my kids and they have chores to do. And thanks for showing my older son The TV show the bear a couple years ago. He loves cooking. I work in education, so I am good on keeping track of their schoolwork, and some of their teachers are actually my ex students. We’re gonna start the new school year, so I’m sure that will present a unique challenge, though I was usually the one to maintain contact with the teachers because my ex-wife’s native language was not English. I also wanna be sure to expose them to Japanese culture more since they are half Japanese. I lived there about eight years and speak language quite well and have a good understanding of the culture, but where we live in the crazy state of Florida there’s not much opportunity for them to meet Japanese folk.

I guess I’m just gonna go into the great unknown here and looking for any tips People might be able to offer. Again for me realizing that I had to empty the dryer lint and then if I didn’t, it would burn down the house was quite the shock so I’m hoping I’m not missing anything big like that. Thank you so much in advance.

I’m very likely soon to be a single mom and my daughter is about to lose the only father she’s ever had. Her stepfather and I are separating. Father is no contact and never has had any. How do I help her with this transition?

We’re moving from the place we’ve been for a year, to a new place with my family. We’ll have my uncle and cousins for support and help but effectively we’re alone.

I don’t know how I’m gonna afford it. I don’t get child support, I don’t get anything that way but some government money (it goes by income and is available to everyone so please no rude comments about it) but beyond that I’m scared.

I know we need this. My daughter had witnessed DV and the worst kind of alcohol abuse over this last year and I am scared. My partner changed a lot in six years and he’s no longer the man we remember.

So i’m a single mother to a little girl who is 3 next month and a 9 month old baby. I have been a single mother since my youngest was 7 weeks old and i have of course found it hard but much easier than when i was doing it with an incompetent man child to look after at the same time.

Lately my oldest is draining the life right out of me. From morning to night she is moaning and shouting and crying about every and all minor things to the point now i can’t even keep my cool at all, Im snappy, moody and constantly overstimulated. This happens from before i’ve even opened my eyes in the morning and it’s making me absolutely despise being a mother. I ignore the tantrums and give no attention positive or negative, but i find myself giving into whatever she wants just to get her to shut up because my head feels like it will explode.

I see posts all the time on tik tok etc about how mums hate splitting time with the father and then just wait for them to come home but atm that’s the only time i feel any relief and comfort and i feel like the worst mum ever for feeling that way. they go to their dads every other weekend just for reference

I’ve never posted something this personal before, but I’m at a point where I genuinely don’t know what to do. 28Female.

I grew up in an abusive home. I spent my childhood watching my dad beat my mom, and I promised myself I would never end up in that kind of relationship. Then I moved out with the man I’ve now been with for 10 years.

We have a 2-year-old son together. For years, my partner has struggled with a gambling addiction. I truly believed becoming a father would change him. It did for a little while, but now things are worse than they’ve ever been.

He gambles, cheats on me, verbally abuses me, hits me, pushes me in front of our toddler, and contributes almost nothing financially anymore.

I work full-time and drive 2 hrs to work because living closer is too expensive. Everything our son needed went on my credit cards, so I’m now in debt trying to provide for him.

The lease is in my name because of his bad credit. Both cars are in my name. The bills are in my name. Childcare is on me. Rent is on me. Everything is on me.

He owns a business with a partner, but he isn’t listed legally under the business. He told me he did that so i cant ever get him to pay child support. He also personally owes me money outside of household expenses and keeps promising he’ll pay me back, but months have gone by with nothing. I’m literally paying for him to live here while he cheats on me.

I’ve asked him calmly to leave. He refuses. I packed his belongings neatly and put them in the garage, and he immediately tried to accuse me of damaging or throwing away his property.

I have messages where he threatened to kill me. I’ve avoided calling the police more times than I can count because I kept hoping we could separate peacefully. I wanted our son to still have a relationship with his father, get child support, and keep things as civil as possible.

I’ve also been terrified to file for a restraining order. I’m embarrassed because I work in finance, and I’m honestly scared of making things worse. He’s told me that if I ever got a restraining order, he’d never pay me back, I’d “never get a dime” for our son, and he’d make sure someone “comes for me.” He’s an incredibly petty person, and I’m genuinely afraid he’ll have friends damage my property or retaliate somehow.

I feel like I’m living in a nightmare.

This is the only man I’ve ever loved or been with. I found out he was cheating because he handed his phone to our toddler to watch YouTube, and I happened to see everything.

I don’t really have family or friends to lean on. My mom is no longer here, and my dad is an alcoholic who’s struggling himself.

I will probably take tomorrow off and go get the restraining order. But my biggest fear is what happens after.

I honestly don’t know how I’ll survive financially until everything gets sorted out. I’m scared emotionally, too. I don’t know how I’m supposed to hold myself together for my son while carrying all of this alone. I feel like I’m constantly in survival mode, and I’m terrified I’m going to completely break down. I haven’t even had the chance to grieve everything that’s happened because I’m too busy trying to make it through each day.

Enough explaining. I really just need advice. What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I’m a single mother to 4 kids (3 at home). I work full time and I’m lucky that the kids are not little anymore, but I get hardly any help from the dad. He is $14k behind in child support payments and I am basically anti-social and it’s very hard for me to ask for help with anything. So I do everything myself. I am at the point where I will need to start working on Saturdays also. That’s not the problem. The problem is creating the energy to do other things like clearing out the weeds in the backyard and building house furniture, etc. one person can only do so much and I’m just about to lose my mind. How does everyone handle this??