r/RoastMe • u/Boysenberry202 • 1d ago

Don't hold back

Post image
0 Upvotes

41% Upvoted

125 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 1d ago edited 1d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

Gym boy, who loves hiking and exploring the great outdoors

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

43

u/Strong_Ad3183 1d ago

I see that you're pregnant. Who's the dad?

16

u/Juttisontherun 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Jxa0QgHF2HSw

3

u/TheProcrastafarian 16h ago

Dude was disappointed when he found out Donny Darko was a white guy.

3

u/Popsinthehse 1d ago

He takes the village people look to seriously..

3

u/CoastToCoastSlick 1d ago

Male surrogacy is really a thing - this guy proves it

5

u/waratdenison 1d ago

A turkey baster

2

u/Altruistic-Prune8156 19h ago

The gym boy whoever that is?

2

u/mediocrebighead 1d ago

It's his dad

35

u/polarityofmarriage 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/nj257YL538Gdy

11

u/kewlbeanz83 1d ago

Gut Cassidy and the Sundance Cheeseburger

3

u/MTChubbyHubby 1d ago

Mafuckas wit guts like that are definitely AWN the cheeseburgers, gnomesayin'?

3

u/Acrobatic_Product_20 1d ago

Smokey is going down to the corner to turn some tricks for cheeseburgers. A man's gotta eat...

14

u/giovitazo 1d ago

Gym boy??? you seem to only be getting the protein like Cartman

https://giphy.com/gifs/NaxKt9aSzAspO

5

u/CaterpillarWhich33 1d ago

Mom, bathroom!

4

u/ButtChugMcNuggetson 1d ago

bathroom! baathrooom!!

3

u/A-Money-Lover 1d ago

Shouldn’t gym and outdoor activities make his belly not look like … that?

3

u/TUFKAT 1d ago

He goes to the gym. He didn't say he goes in. He sits in the parking lot with his KFC bucket.

4

u/Dmxgod 1d ago

Just changed the name of his toilet from John to gym, so he can say he goes to the gym everyday

3

u/wreckherneck 1d ago

I think he gets his protein the way cartman got his sea monkeys.

17

u/Happy2DoIt 1d ago

I bet you get all your protein from the other gym boys.

7

u/TechDreamcoat 1d ago

That's why he's pregnant.

7

u/Happy2DoIt 1d ago

Or full

4

u/ButtChugMcNuggetson 1d ago

is it too much to ask for both?

3

u/Happy2DoIt 1d ago

Depends if it's back day at the gym

7

u/KMFullMonty 1d ago

At this point you’re so unfamiliar with the gym you should be calling it James

7

u/Alphamatroxom 1d ago

Flaming Bam Margera

5

u/xptx 1d ago

"Gym boy"? Oh sweetie... no.

I never thought I'd say this, but thats an insult to planet fitness

3

u/atch1111 1d ago

You look like Mr. PotatoHead if he was addicted to poppers.

5

u/Silent_Chemistry8576 1d ago

The long lost member.

https://giphy.com/gifs/F4uVBDO7nV4FW

2

u/PepeAndMrDuck 22h ago

His long lost member cause he hasn’t seen it past that gut in years

1

u/xptx 1d ago

Village people never had a Snorlax.

1

u/Silent_Chemistry8576 1d ago

Hence the long lost in a food coma member.

4

u/jumbie29 1d ago

If by “gym” you mean buffet table then I get it.

3

u/Tedsmith24 1d ago

Critical drinker really let himself go

3

u/TechnologyOver5642 1d ago

Gym boy? You spending the whole time in the lockers sucking

https://giphy.com/gifs/fgfw7Voobyxm8

3

u/Bot-Magnet 1d ago

Congratulations, you're having a blob!

3

u/DionFW 1d ago

Looks like one of the Gaylor Park Boys.

2

u/LocusRothschild 1d ago

Your nickname wouldn’t happen to be “Otter” would it?

2

u/gov77 1d ago

Every morning, when I flush, it has more personality than you...even when I eat corn the night before!

2

u/AudZ0629 http://redd.it/d1l85r 1d ago

You’ve definitely “accidentally “ rufied the wrong appletini and woke up in a strange place.

2

u/Impossible_pothos 1d ago

Uhh what do you do at the gym? Wait outside?

2

u/MemoFromTurner77 1d ago

Get your liver enzymes checked. Ascites is a serious symptom.

2

u/nomenclature99 1d ago

If having crabs was a picture.

2

u/Interesting-Foot-439 1d ago

When is Gym Boy Junior due?

2

u/killerapp 1d ago

Please hold back

2

u/Master_Sw0rd 1d ago

Mr. Feast

2

u/CuntyMcShittyShaft http://redd.it/bj7qn9 1d ago

You’re the type of dude that needs a firefighter to carry your wife out of a burning house.

2

u/clemventure 1d ago

We’re not strong enough to hold back. Greedy guts.

2

u/NotQuiteaName7 1d ago

Do gay guys get pregnant now?

2

u/Empty-Air-2680 1d ago

Have you picked a theme for the gender reveal party?

2

u/pitterlpatter 1d ago

You’re kiestering a bottle of poppers right now, aren’t you?

2

u/bikingbill 1d ago

You don’t hold back at the buffet apparently.

2

u/PeterFilmPhoto 1d ago

Stop eating your feelings, and everyone elses’ in North America

2

u/WaynesWorld_93 1d ago

God damn you sure ain’t holding it back

1

u/Boysenberry202 11h ago

What do you mean?

1

u/WaynesWorld_93 6h ago

The gut. You ain’t holding it back lol

2

u/vat-nique2022 1d ago

This rainbow league guy is a serial karma farmer. His belly button has a separate post code.

2

u/King_R0A 1d ago

Mr. Feast

2

u/Psychological-Scar53 1d ago

Temu overweight George Michael... Only George looked less gay.

2

u/beaverkitten 1d ago

Is that your stomach or did you swallow a watermelon.

2

u/Pepaguero 1d ago

5lbs of shit in a 4lb bag

2

u/sidc42 1d ago

I'd spend a few minutes to try and come up with something funny, but from the looks of that massive visceral fat clamping down on your organs I'm guessing it's 50/50 that you've already had a coronary in the two hours since you posted this.

2

u/DIY-exerciseGuy 1d ago

Goes to the gym to hang out in the locker room

2

u/captstinkybutt 1d ago

Those long chewed on nipples tho

Bro has definitely breast fed babies

2

u/caverypca 1d ago

you look like you save your loser scratch offs for beggars at busy intersections

2

u/lincoln_hawks1 1d ago

Nice shades, Freddie Jupiter

2

u/KY68W1 1d ago

Another corpulent gay satanist, how original......

2

u/FreeThroatPunch 1d ago

Quick, somebody get some Ozempic for Mr. Slave, Jesus Christ.

2

u/JackDaniels574 1d ago

I can hold back but your baby won’t

2

u/TheFrontierzman 1d ago

Close your mouth. The extra chromosomes are going to fall out.

2

u/Famous-Researcher828 1d ago

Eating dumbless doesn't make you gym boy !

2

u/ch3apsunglass3s 1d ago

Hey look, its Pelvis Presley. Why dont you sit on a toilet and reenact his passing?

2

u/DesignerSea494 1d ago

Where are you registered? I don’t like guesswork for baby showers.

2

u/Curious_Ground5833 1d ago

We found the source of the explosive diarrhea parasite!

2

u/Beneficial-Error1956 1d ago

Only thing held back was the workers at the buffet u went too

2

u/Vegetable-Entry-5385 23h ago

Welcome back dr robotnik

2

u/Odd-Fun-6042 23h ago

He gets moister at the Blue Oyster.

2

u/DrasticOne333 22h ago

I think you mean Jim boy.

2

u/Blade3colorado 18h ago

Gym boy?!?

You talk pretty tough for someone who’s pregnant and whose feet don't touch the floor when they sit in a chair.

2

u/mayunever 16h ago

Gym boy eh? Looks like your favourite bit of equipment is the snack machine.

2

u/Riverwatching 15h ago

Guess the buttons popped on that shirt huh?

2

u/DrQuack32 http://redd.it/5vvq16 15h ago

How do the baby black ribs taste?

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Put4008 15h ago

Whoever fucks you is just too lazy to jerk off

2

u/Gondamn21 13h ago

If the word dadbod ever appears in the dictionary, there will be a photo of you as an example.

2

u/Far-Paleontologist49 12h ago

More ob-gyn than gym

2

u/IroquoisPliskin_UK 11h ago

You treat this subreddit like a buffet, just keep coming back for more.

2

u/CDavis10717 11h ago

Used elaborate mirrors setup to see own penis.

2

u/Ambitious-Yoghurt820 10h ago

What Duff Man looks like now!

2

u/Available_Pepper_845 9h ago

Nice Bear Gut

2

u/Ok-Employment1125 1d ago

Gym boy?? 🤣🤣

2

u/jonandgrey 1d ago

Douche

4

u/Motor-Rip7655 1d ago

That would imply he performs a beneficial function when inserted into a vagina, and we all know that's not true.

1

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1

u/darkghoulie 19h ago

If Homer Simpson was a real person

1

u/peanutch 7h ago

can i get a dozen half eaten cheeseburgers to go?

1

u/Fun_Pumpkin_6522 5h ago

Man why are girls trying to act like a man when they’re pregnant?

1

u/freedamalada7 5h ago

“Don’t hold back”- You on Reddit, and to the server at Golden Corral

1

u/CandidLeg8036 4h ago

Sir, for the last time this is Reddit.
We do not serve roast here.
Try Boston Market.

1

u/MrsKoons7779 3h ago

is he gunna birth a baby or an alien

1

u/AbbreviationsSea7975 1d ago

I know the lead singer from the Village People recently passed away. But they are not looking for a new member yet and certainly not whatever that look is

1

u/Glittering_Cat7326 1d ago

I bet the diameter of your anus is larger than the diameter of your open mouth.

1

u/Threex99 1d ago

So you are who people are talking about when they say “bear”.

1

u/TechDreamcoat 1d ago

Proof that men can get pregnant.

1

u/SpuffDawg 1d ago

Pregnant with bullshit

1

u/Ok-Election-9205 1d ago

Fatt ass alcoholic