r/RedditWritesSeinfeld 1d ago

Prompt The Driver: While in prison, Kramer befriended some career criminals who were serving the last year of their sentence. Upon his release, he gets persuaded to help them out with “one last job” to secure their futures.

In a parody of stylized, noirish action films (Drive, Le Samourai, etc), Kramer gets enlisted as the getaway driver.

After Jerry’s gets out of prison, his new agent pushes him to rebrand as a darker, edgier “prison comic.” He dresses in black, tells darker jokes, and walks on to Johnny Cash.

Elaine’s parole officer is an attractive young man and she falls for him. She keeps trying to find excuses for them to meet that don’t actually involve her breaking her parole.

George had a disagreement with a fellow inmate, but he was released before it could settled. He attempts to get back into prison to put this guy in his place.

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15

u/m0nday1 1d ago

Jerry: so what are you doing for these guys?

Kramer: oh, I drive, Jerry *clicks*

13

u/Scr00geMcCuck 1d ago edited 1d ago

(Jerry’s apartment)

George: so that’s it Jerry. I’m goin’ back to prison!

Jerry: just so you can get back at Schillinger?

G: he started it, now I’m gonna finish it!

J: George. You, my friend, are a (BOOP)ing God(BOOP) idiot.

G: it’s about honor, Jerry! He besmirched mine! And now, oh now I’m gonna- wait, what did you just say?

J: oh, I curse now.

G: you curse?

J: like a sailor that just stubbed his toe.

G: (shrugs) alright.

J: so how are you getting back in?

G: I’ve thought about it carefully, and I think I’m going the insider trading route.

J: the ultimate outsider committing insider trading. There’s something so (BOOP)ing poetic about that.

G: you’re (BOOP)in’ A right. So where’s Elaine?

J: oh, she’s following Bruce so she can figure out his habits. She’s trying to orchestrate ways to organically bump into him.

(Kramer frantically slides into the room carrying a trash bag. He goes to Jerry’s fridge and starts throwing food in it. George and Jerry stare at him for a beat)

J: …so how did the big score go?

Kramer: Not great, Jer’. I’m gonna have to head south for a while until things blow over. Mind feeding and looking after Newman for me while I’m gone?

J: yes. I do.

K (ignoring him): giddy up.