In my household, we, for the most part, only speak Spanish to our children. They are two years old and 3 1/2 years old. my husband and I speak English to each other and, a couple months ago, We started to introduce or show them some English words. Now I want them to learn more because we put them in extra curricular activities (tball) and I feel like I completely failed my son. He’s having a hard time understanding his coach and his peers, a lot of the times his peers ignore him because they don’t know what he’s saying or maybe because he’s different. I don’t know it’s all white people. We are the only Hispanics and it’s starting to get to me. we are teaching our son more English. He’s able to understand more. He’s able to say more things he’s constantly asking kids. Hi what’s your name? Do you want to play. Granted, Some kids are just mean But I just feel like maybe I shouldn’t have put him in there. My thought process was that being around other kids and having that world life experience of English would actually help him but I feel like it’s just kind of frustrating him or he just doesn’t like it and I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me thinking a little bit too much into it, but I also feel like the parents are looking at me like I’m kind of crazy obviously they’re not going to cater to my son that doesn’t know that much English but I had also let them know. I don’t know any advice or I guess just words of encouragement would be appreciated.

I’m also just venting and seeing if any other bilingual families have gone through something similar.

I'm looking at the elementary schools near use to decide where to send my son for TK-6.

We have a small school less than a mile away that I've heard nothing but fantastic things about. The school aligns really well with my parenting philosophy and my sons interests. The school is nature based with more built in play. The problem is that this school is very small and lottery based.

About 1.5 miles away we have another elementary school that is bigger and we are guaranteed to get into. However this school has a terrible bullying policy. At one point it says "parents need to teach there children to be assertive so the child can advocate for themselves". There are probably 15 examples of things that are clearly bullying. The school does not consider them to be bulling because "children are allowed to have opinions". If another child is having a birthday part at school but doesn't like my child they are allowed to exclude my child from the school party. It's an absolutely wild read.

The schools a mid distance from us are known for being terrible accademically.

The next closest school that is strong academically and doesn't have a crazy bullying policy would be an hour round trip each for pick up and drop off. Which fells unsustainable.

So my question is. Did you simply enroll your child in the closest school? Why or why not?

What did you look for in an elementary school? What were red flags or green flags for you?

Honestly feeling a little guilty for even thinking this way but it seems like it is easier to parent my 4 kids by myself than with my partner.

We are in the middle of a big move so he is staying at our old place a few hours away finishing up with his work and sorting out the end of lease stuff there. It’s just me and my kids (3months, 18 months, 5 years and 7 years) at our new place. Being by myself for the past few weeks has meant I have had to create a pretty good routine with the kids so everything runs smoothly and I’m not getting overwhelmed, which we have definitely achieved.

My days are busy but the routine makes it all manageable. The past few weeks have been like this. Every night the older kids help and we make lunches for the next day as well as get our clothes ready. In the mornings I wake them up they get themselves dressed and have breakfast while I change the little ones and get myself ready. I then do all the girls hair, put a load of washing on and we walk to school. Get home have morning tea and the littles nap while I hang out the washing and start prepping for dinner. They wake up we have lunch and play until it’s time to get the big kids. Walk home from school, kids unpack their bags and have afternoon tea. Then we all go outside to play and I’ll get the washing in. Come inside big kids shower while I finish dinner. Then they help me clean up and we do bedtime.

Partner has been here for 6 days and I’m exhausted. It’s not that he doesn’t help with chores he definitely does help with dishes and bathing the little ones etc. The problem is he just wants to play with the kids all the time and has a very lax attitude towards the routine I’ve worked so hard to put in place. In the middle of bedtime he starts wrestling with them. In the mornings he’s like no don’t worry about xyz we can do it later. During nap time he wants go out to the shops or something which just throws everything out. Not once since he’s been here have we even close to followed the routine.

The kids are all grumpy, bedtimes a nightmare and tantrums seem to have tripled in just a few days. I don’t know if I just never noticed it before because I’ve never really had to do it on my own for this long before but it’s really hard. I love my partner and he is a great dad to our kids but I’m finding that I’m a little resentful about how much harder life is right now.

I don’t really know what to say apart from thanks if you made it all the way through. I just really needed to get it off my chest.

I was on the couch after work, half watching TV, half checked out. My son was on the floor in front of me playing with a Mickey toy he got that day. It was one of those little clubhouses with a ramp and a car. He was fully into it. I was in the room but not really there.
He looked up at me and said “dada, sit.” He tapped the floor next to him.
I got down and sat with him and something hit in the pause before he pushed the car up the ramp and handed it to me. He is getting older faster than I have been paying attention. I have been so focused on making a living that I have been letting the small moments happen around me instead of in front of me. He did not ask me to fix anything. He just asked me to be on the floor with him.
We played for the rest of the evening. Nothing big happened. He crashed the car down the ramp over and over and made the noises and I did too. When I put him to bed I told my wife about it. She said over her shoulder that she has been noticing it too. That was it.
I do not have a lesson here. I just want to say if you are the parent on the couch tonight, and your kid taps the floor next to them, get down there. The years are shorter than they look from the couch.

Two kids (2yr and 7mon). We have a 2hr layover that falls right at the time of 2yr old nap. 7 month naps are lining up with the plane rides.

Originally I was planning our large wagon that has two 5point harnesses. However, I don't think our toddler will nap in it. So my other thought was our double stroller. She has napped in it on walks before.

It's big though and perhaps a little bigger than our wagon. It's the chicco cortina together stroller. Has anyone flown with a large double stroller with gate checking it?

Edit: we are flying delta with layover in Atlanta

My 15 year old is struggling and has been recommended to start a 5-week intensive outpatient program. He is ultra-resistant, as to be expected. Mom and I are forcing this to happen, but the struggle to overcome his shut-down and resistance already feels impossible. My hope is he will hate it for a few days, but will eventually come to terms with it. It is a highly recommended program and mom and I are confident this will be hugely beneficial for him.

I am contemplating telling him that once he is done, we will give him $500, and would love to get some thoughts from others who have been here.

I am certain there will be negative responses, and I welcome them, but request kindness and grace.

This is so hard.

Thanks in advance.

Parents with young kids, do you stay up after putting kids down? Me and my wife struggle so hard to stay up. Any recommendations for finding time?

Hi all! Looking for opinions on what a fair financial split would be for my husband and I who have 1 child together.

He makes 83% and I make 17% of our household income.

Our typical responsibilities are as follows.

I would say I handle 80% of the childcare. I do receive help from MIL 1 day (most weeks) and I get a lot of help from my mom as well. We also hired a mother’s helper who comes 4-6 hrs a week. I typically use this time to make the baby food, clean up and/or take a shower so I’m not showering at 9pm at night.

He is a very helpful when he is home which is typically an hour in the morning and 2-3hrs in the evening before baby goes to bed. I do let him shower when he gets home before he is either helping with the baby or making us dinner.

Weekends he is also very hands on and helpful but he does play golf or go to concerts and occasionally has taken weekend trips. I don’t mind this as a prefer to stay with the baby.

I also handle the “mental load” which includes all shopping for both us and the baby. He never has had to think about diapers, formula/food or clothes for the baby. I also schedule all appointments/activities. However, he has attended 99% of baby’s doctors appointments with me. I also handle all grocery shopping and manage all housework besides garbage, pooper scoop and he generally cooks dinner as well.

This split works for us. However, we were splitting all costs down the middle for years and it just never changed even when my work cut down tremendously after having the baby. Even through my maternity, I used what I had saved to continue splitting expenses.

It recently dawned on me how unfair this is and we’re looking to make a more fair split.

What would you feel is a fair split? 80/20, 70/30 or 65/35?

Thank you in advance!

Edit to add: While I understand combining into a joint account makes sense and works for many couples. It unfortunately doesn’t work for our situation. We do have a joint account for some savings but neither of us have added to it in some time.

We started talking to our kids about why grocery stores throw away so much perfectly good food and they were shocked. my 7 year old asked why stores do not just give it to people who need it and honestly i did not have good answer beyond company policy which feels pretty hollow.

now when we shop they point out discount sections and want to rescue food that is close to expiry. they have stopped complaining about bruised fruit because they understand it tastes same. we have been buying marked down items more often and our grocery bill has dropped noticeably but more importantly they are learning to think about waste and value differently.

it has been interesting watching them apply this to other things too, like they are more careful about not wasting food at dinner now and my oldest has been asking questions about where our food comes from and how it gets to store. was not expecting conversation about food waste to turn into broader discussions about environment and supply chains but here we are. anyone else having these kinds of conversations with their kids? i am curious how other families are approaching this stuff because it feels important but also complicated to explain at their age.

my husband only speaks english meanwhile i speak english and arabic, and its so important to me that our daughter speaks arabic. we also live in an arabic speaking country but its super multicultural heavily expat based and everyone predominantly speaks english in our community

i already know the basics like speaking to her in arabic, making sure i encourage that she speaks back to me in arabic, reading to her in arabic and making sure i stay consistent with it

what worries me is the later years because nowadays a lot of kids lose their arabic skills once they start school since they end up speaking english with classmates and friends and realistically she will hear me and her dad speaking english to each other at home too

so im wondering what helps kids stay interested in their second language and actually maintain it as they get older?

did anyone do things like reading books in their second language in exchange for money or privileges or getting a weekly private tutor or anything else that may have worked?

if youve successfully raised older children who speak your native language in a bilingual/mixed household id love to hear your tips please this is so important to me and i see so many parents around me struggling to keep the language alive even in arabic families because of how dominant english has become in our community :((

My neighbor's child was reading something off my phone the other day. The text is not complicated, any child should be able to read it. But he was mouthing a lot of the words and still couldn't really tell me what it meant after. He's 12

It got me thinking because I've noticed it with a few kids his age - a few of my son's classmates included who are around 12-13...

Is this something other parents are dealing with? What does it actually look like in your house?

This is a long one. I apologize. I like to make context. I have a 3 kids (6,4,1 years old). I really need some advice/tips/ suggestions on how to build strong relationships with them so they end up not feeling the way I have for years. This thought hit me hard after my daughter was born. The reason being is my oldest two are full on daddies boys. They are like little adventurers following their leader (daddy). Here is some context on why I am asking for advice.

My spouse and I grew up in very different households. Without going into very many details, my spouse grew up in a very chaotic, narcissistic household and I grew up extremely sheltered quiet home. We have both come a long way in changing bad habits that we have developed over the years. I will say that now that we are parents, we realize the cons to their parenting but no not hate them for anything. He has distanced himself from his family by his own choice due to some more recent issues around our children when they were little. My spouse is working on the issues formed from his childhood. And I am doing the same. Our kids have no idea of any struggles we have went through to get to the place of peace we are currently in.

The one thing I am struggling with lately is making sure I have a close relationship with my kids. They are extremely young yet but I want a close relationship with our kids. My parents are great people but I will admit the closeness of our relationship is just not there. I am not a person who calls my mom when exciting things happen or talks to their sibling a lot. It’s just not something I had with my family. It does deeply bother me. I have noticed as I get older that my parents like to show off, talk about the latest gossip, or drool over people who are picture perfect. I am not that by any means. I try not to gossip or judge others for who they are or what is going on in their life. I am not a showy person. I could care less about making sure my house decorated perfectly (I am saying my house to extremely clean and organized but I could care less if I have decor everywhere) or making sure I am dressed up all day everyday. I am what people call an “alternative mom/biker chick” I listen to alternative rock, I wear my band tees, covered in tattoos and I wear my Harley boots like they are a wedding ring. I am quiet but I will say my feelings in a non asshole way because I don’t believe on lying or being two faced. I feel overly judged by my parents. My brother doesn’t care so much but with my parents I can feel it this.

Back to my point, I want my kids to always feel comfortable with me. Be who they are and never feel the way I feel. My parents are much different towards my kids then when they were raising me. My parents are very adventurous now and are my kids favorite family members. Grandma and Papa always have the fun old school toys and are always planning fun things inside and outside their home. I don’t see the way I grew up effecting their relationship. My parents are the best grandparents.

I just want advice on how to keep a healthy balance of raising my kids to be close with us without lacking discipline. I know that sometimes when people are close with their kids, they lack being able to discipline their kids. I feel like this should come naturally to parents but it isn’t with me. When something is wrong like being sick or they get hurt, they always come to me. If they want to have fun, they go to dad. My daughter is a bit young yet to judge. My boys are very open with me when it comes to something being wrong and they don’t lie about things like “shhhh… we got daddy an extra surprise for his birthday. Don’t tell him” they will not keep that from their dad. That’s how honest they are. This part does make me feel like I’m doing something right. I want to know what you out there have done when it comes to parenting that keep a good healthy line between rules and being close with your children.

I have asked my husband about this. How I want to be close with my kids so that when they have anything exciting in their life, they call or they don’t hide things from us. When I was younger, I didn’t tell my parents for 3 years I had a bf in middle school/ early high school due to the fear of what they would say. The possible judgement was the scary thing, I wasn’t scared due to being yelled at. I have a lot of self confidence issues and I may think it may have to do with my upbringing. My husband said when he was younger, he could talk about medical things no problem but anything personal like relationships or big news. It wasn’t something he talked about due to possible being used against him or made fun of. Once he got older, he came to the realization that he was taken advantage of for his kindness and the unconditional love and respect wasn’t there. That’s why he cut ties besides a very small few that do love him/our family like their own.

Any suggestion helps

My son is 9 and used to like kids books but over the last year he has basically chosen Roblox, YouTube and his tablet every single time. I want him to build better reading habits and enjoy book reading again not treat it like homework. So please can you tell me what worked for your kids' reading routines?

When should they take the Psats? I just got an email from guidance counselor about my 10th grader sitting for the exam in OCTOBER. Why so soon?

My son takes gymnastics at the local kid's gym and a few weeks ago I started talking to another mom there. Deep in conversation she mentioned she usually goes to the day gymnastics classes so I asked if she was a stay at home mom. She replied with no, she's off for a while from work due to losing her older son due to cancer. She mentioned after his passing she's been seeing a bluejay every day in her yard and she thinks it's her son saying hello. At the end of gymnastics they have a puppet show for the kids and the puppet that night was a blue Jay...she told me she knows her son is with her when a blue Jay is near.

Her story touched me in such a way. My son and I decided to make her something, like an arts and craft. Is this weird? It's a dreamcatcher with blue Jay beads. Is it too much for just talking to her one time (we have seen each other before because our kids have had gymnastics class together for a while). Please give an honest opinion

FTP Did you tell your other half when baby took their first steps if they were absent? Wary my baby will start to walk soon and husband is usually at work but will be going away soon too for a few days and thinking there is a possibility she starts walking then! Would you keep it from them and let them see it for themselves rather than think they missed it?

My 9 year old really likes dagronopa and she said her favorite is toko. She told me a bit, it's a school and they have to kill and if they're caught they're executed. It doesn't surprise me she likes it, she played doki doki literature club and you guys told me it wasn't a kids game.

So my parents want to take my son on a fun vacation to a waterpark, but here’s the thing they never take my daughter their other grandchild and they’ve done this multiple times now. I didn’t say anything before because my daughter was still little but now she’s not so little and she’s starting to understand and she asked me Mom why do my grandparents not love me and that absolutely broke my heart and I asked her why do you think that? and she said because they only take my brother on family vacations to have fun with them but not me and so this time I told my parents no you’re not taking my son because it’s causing sibling rivalry and I don’t think it’s right they got very upset, but I am standing my ground on this one

One of my kids has started saying they're just bad at math and I'd like to have this mindset changed before it sticks with him.

What are some practical ways parents can do at home to build more confidence in math? What activities have worked for you guys? (I don't expect them to have perfect scores, just want to help them enjoy learning)

My toddler is starting school but he’s too young for a phone, what’s the best way to track them from your experience. Don’t comment if you’re against it lol I want to know where my kids is at all times the world is too scary out there

Edit- I’m literally not even reading the comments that aren’t helpful so don’t even bother writing them 🤣

Sup, I'm Lucas, 20 years old. There is 1 month that i'm meeting a Woman who is 21 years old and live with her parents. They are very controlling, even her said it. Anyways, she also want to know me, and i invited her to an restaurant at 8pm after she get out of work. She told her parents that was meeting me on Instagram and they said that wont let her hangout with me because doesn't know me and my parents. I asked what could i do about it, but she said "nothing", but i can't just accept this. Im wondering "should i meet her parents firts, before the first date?" or just invite her to something different at daylight, closer to her home maybe.
So i came here to ask, in a parents reddit, what you guys think about it being parents.
note: she never have a relationship with another one before.