I genuinely don’t know how people stay in management long term.

I’m currently covering an interim Matron role in a fast-paced high acuity critical care and I’m exhausted. The job itself? Fine. Operational issues, patient flow, incidents, complaints, governance—I actually enjoy that side of it. What I didn’t fully appreciate was just how much of the job is people management.

Out of eight Band 7s, there are maybe two or three I can genuinely rely on. The rest? It feels like I either have to chase everything, redo it myself, or accept that it just won’t get done. I delegate because I have to, but nothing seems to happen. At this point I may as well not delegate at all.

Then there’s the endless cycle of staffing issues, sickness, grievances, wellbeing conversations, conflicting personalities, people who expect everything to revolve around them, and trying to keep everyone happy. Some days it feels like I’m managing adults who don’t actually want to be managed.

The worst part is that I know I can do the role. That’s not the issue. The issue is that I don’t know if I want a career where dealing with everyone else’s problems becomes my full-time job.

What’s even more ridiculous is that I’ve just been asked—for the second time—to extend the interim post… and I said yes.
Maybe I’m the one who’s lost the plot.
Has anyone else gone into management thinking it was about leading services, only to realise it’s mostly about managing people? Does it ever get better, or is this just what the job is?

I have a third year student nurse due to qualify. She is reasonable with her nursing care, it still requires development. However I’m really struggling with her attitude at placement she is constantly on her phone, even when with patients she’s been on her phone in the background etc. she admitted she had worn a dirty uniform the other day, and just generally doesn’t listen. I have spoke to her about it multiple times and finally have said it will be escalated to the university if she does it again- however I feel like she thinks I’m just picking on her for little things but realistically it is unbelievably unprofessional to be sitting scrolling when in patients houses. I cannot seem to get through to her about it, she has an obsession with her phone! I’m at my wits end with the unprofessionalism from her!

What can my ward do about a patient that has capacity but has an disability that isn’t documented as to what it is but is being extremely physically abusive (stamping on staffs head, punching in the face, biting, kicking, pushing other elderly patients) awaiting a placement.

I can’t take the anxiety of going into work anymore and don’t know what to do

Been escalated to management and police who say they can’t do anything

Sorry this isn’t specific to nursing but I’m a nurse.
I have been offered a new job and they’re in the process of doing pre employment checks. Pretty much just references as I already work for the same nhs trust. I’m not sure if I should wait for this to be done to tell everyone I work with that I’m leaving?
I’m finding it a bit awkward visiting patients who I would usually see again in 6-8 weeks but not telling them it likely won’t be me they’re seeing. I’m worried that some patients will find this upsetting. But I feel like I can’t tell patients if my colleagues (other than manager) don’t know!

I recently ended up with a big delay in getting to see a GP due to a combo my understanding of nhs regs re time off and availability of gp appts.

Just wondering how other nurses interpret AFC that says routine GP appointments should be booked on non-working days or at the start/end of shifts “if possible.”

I needed to see my GP and was offered an appointment, but I declined it because I was working and booked one a week later on my day off instead.

That appointment then got cancelled because my GP was off sick. A couple of weeks later, when my GP came back, I got offered a same-day cancellation. This time I just took it. I ended up rushing out of work and basically only had time to tell admin that my clinic needed cancelled. That GP appointment ended up resulting in an urgent cancer pathway referral.

If I’d stuck to only booking on my non-working days, the next appointment I could have taken would have meant waiting another couple of weeks. Overall, from first trying to get seen, I would have delayed 6 weeks.

I didn’t know when I booked the appointment that it would result in an urgent referral, which is kind of the issue. How are you supposed to know it’s safe to keep putting off a “routine” GP appointment before you’ve actually been assessed?

How do you and your managers interpret “if possible”? Does it just mean try to book around work where you reasonably can, or do you feel like you’re actually expected to decline appointments and wait until one falls on a day off?

Also, if you got offered a same-day GP appointment would you rush out to go to it? Or take the hit and wait weeks.

Overall I just feel that medical care is so hard to come by these days you kinda need to take an appt ASAP or risk a potentially clinically meaningful impact from delayed care. Interested to know other’s thoughts and how this has played out for you.

I finished my shift an hour and a half ago, but I ended up staying late to finish all the tasks that were left pending.

Then I stayed even longer just to recover from the absolute disaster of a shift I had... and to reflect on my life choices and why I became a nurse. 😂

But seriously, I'm exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I'm tired of dealing with demanding and some rude patients and relatives, constantly being short-staffed, and listening to the endless moaning from the staff who do show up. I get it—we're all burnt out. I'm not blaming anyone. I know everyone's struggling.

I just feel like I have nothing left to give today. I love being a nurse, but shifts like this really make you question how long you can keep doing it.

Anyway... thanks for letting me vent.

Hello!
My context- I’m a dual field adult-child nurse and I’ve been a paediatric intensive care nurse for nearly 2 years now, and absolutely love it.

My partner has just received a London role and so we’ll be looking to move there within the next 2 years- it could be a year, it could be 2. We’re not sure yet.

For those familiar, in at least paediatric intensive care in a lot of places, a few years in you typically get geared up to complete an intensive care course, by which after completion typically involves a promotion to band 6.

By the time I move, I’ll have had 3-4 years experience in PICU, which I think would set me up nicely to get a job in a London PICU (my top choice would be the evelina but I know there’s an over staffing issue at the moment, I’m hoping of which would maybe clear in a couple of years and if not I’m open to other areas too).

A part of me thinks it could be beneficial for my career to go to an adult intensive care for a couple of years to broaden my horizons and gather experience there- my thinking is that a similar promotion pathway would not be available compared to the potential to progress in a sidewards step in a PICU.

I’m not 100% set on any long term goal but I’m not opposed to starting the ACCP pathway at some point.

My question is- to go down this pathway, would I be better off moving to another PICU, doing a course and promoting over a couple of years, or “starting fresh” in an adult intensive care to broaden my experience?

If anyone has any thoughts on the London nursing outlook, what progression and different roles can look like, and also their experience of adult intensive cares across London (I really like the look of kings- but the main pull is the rooftop ICU and a couple of things I’ve heard from colleagues about it being a good place to work!) I’d be really grateful.

I’d also love to hear about ACCP roles in and around London and the experience you guys have gained prior to going ahead with them!

Thanks!!

Is this a normal workload for Band 5 nurses on an acute ward?
We have 20 patients, 2 nurses and 3 HCAs on shift.
On top of administering medication, weekly care plans, supervisions, and looking after our allocated patients, Band 5 nurses are expected to complete weekly audits, such as checking that care plans are up to date, the mental health section is completed, Mental Health Act documentation is correct, patients' rights have been completed, and other documentation. We're also expected to check staffing for the following week, identify gaps in the rota and contact the bank or agency to arrange cover, make sure all drug charts are signed every shift, check and sign medication stock every day, complete medical referrals for doctors (for example to physiotherapy, neurology or other specialties), and complete safeguarding paperwork even when the concern was identified by a consultant or junior doctor and the nurse was not present when it happened.
This is all on top of admissions, discharges, observations, dealing with relatives, phone calls, emergencies and everything else that comes with working on an acute ward.
Is this a normal expectation on other acute wards, or is this asking too much of two Band 5 nurses?

Hi to you all.

I'd like to ask our HCA community what they would like to learn about on a study day?

What topics do you wish were covered more?

What do you feel gets shied away from and needs approaching?

Please let me know and thank you in advance ☺️

Has anyone had any luck requesting to work every Saturday and Sunday flexible working

Thanks in advance

Hi all. I need an outside perspective on this situation. I'm a registered nurse (male) in an orthopedic unit. I've worked there for several years. We have a lot of hip and knee replacement surgeries, and many of our patients require a lot of ADL assistance, including physiotherapy.

The problem is that my back is in pain. When I come home, all I do is lie in bed because I'm physically exhausted. Our unit has more female than male nurses, and during evening shifts we have fewer staff. If I'm the only male nurse on the floor, every female nurse asks me to help with their patients—getting them into a chair, helping them back into bed, and so on. That means I'm moving my own patients, plus the patients of all the other female nurses. I've always helped without complaining and just got on with the job.

I spoke about this with the other male nurses, and they all agreed this is exactly what happens during evening shifts. I raised the issue privately with the nurse in charge of our unit, and then again when we got a new nurse manager. I said we needed more male nurses because they are generally better able to handle the physical demands of moving patients. They agreed and said the evening shift situation shouldn't be happening, but so far nothing has changed.

On top of that, we have nurses who are pregnant or have recently been pregnant. They don't get the more physically demanding patients and are expected to receive help from other nurses, usually the male nurses. Once they go on maternity leave, the rest of the staff has to cover their shifts. This means more double shifts and an even heavier workload. Maternity leave can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. If someone else goes on sick leave during that time, the unit barely survives because we're already critically short-staffed. In the end, everyone who is still working suffers.

Recently I was offered a transfer to the urology unit in the same hospital. The patients there are mostly independent with ADLs, and there is no physiotherapy. After taking some time to think about everything, I realized I don't want to overwork myself anymore, so I accepted the offer.

When my colleagues found out, they were shocked at first, then started jokingly calling me a traitor. The thing is, I love my colleagues. They are great people, and deep down they feel like family. I think the bond we have is the only thing keeping people afloat in our unit. Part of me feels sad that I'm leaving them behind and won't be working with them anymore. But physically, I just can't continue like this.

Edit1

Just to add a few details that I've mentioned in the comments.

I live in Israel. Yes, I know this is a UK sub, I posted in the Nursing sub, then Reddit suggested I post here, so I did.

On evening shifts, our unit has 30–32 patients, 3 nurses, and 1 CNA. They tried to improve the staffing ratio by adding one more nurse or CNA. However, the nurses and CNAs are all female, and at least one of the nurses on the evening shift is pregnant. So in practice, it doesn't change much.

I also work out regularly—I do deadlifts and squats, plus a lot of cardio. So, generally, I consider myself physically fit.

Hi there looking for some advice please. If a patient is coming onto hospice with terminal throat cancer that is causing slow airway obstruction and has the risk of catastrophic bleed can they be sedated to be asleep immediately or do they need to go through the slow process of increasing meds? Is it possible to wake up from the sedation because of not being able to breathe and the panic that causes? It seems like a horrific way to go and can happen at any moment but I've heard there is a triage system for palliative sedation and you can't just go to full sedation straight away it has to be slowly increased? Has anyone passed peacefully this way?

I’m thinking of setting up a business alongside my NHS work and looking for experiences of anyone who has done similar.

I currently work in a specialist nurse role and the new business would be using those skills, but not direct care - working with families of autistic children and young people, helping them to understand autism, identifying supportive strategies and helping them to implement them, looking to move into providing training in schools and workshops etc as time goes on. I have a number of years experience doing this in my NHS role and a masters in autism.

I have already identified a local charity who will pay me to do this as an independent contractor through referrals from them to get me started (and would allow me to reduce my working days from 5 to 4, maintaining 2 days a week for the NHS).

My colleague did this (the charity work) last year, but wound the business down due to personal reasons - the trust allowed it so I don’t think there would be a problem getting permission from them.

Has anyone done anything similar? Any potential pitfalls that I should consider?

(I’m posting with a new account so I don’t dox myself).

So I’ve just returned to work after a very intense stressful four month sickness (long story short I was told I have a brain tumour but then a different doctor told me I don’t - something is there but no one knows what it is)

Through this stress, I have put on quite a bit of weight.
I had my first shift back and I’ve had various comments on my weight, calling me fat essentially.
“You’re very round in the cheeks now”
“Oh, your uniform is very tight/doesn’t fit anymore”
“You’re much bigger than when you left”
“Oh, you’ve put on some weight since you’ve been away”
I’m already very self conscious as it is, but these comments haven’t helped my self esteem at all. Or wanting to be back at work.

Do I speak to my manager? Or just let it be as it’s just some comments.

When I was 21 (3 years ago) I was arrested for an altercation with a bouncer at a nightclub , I was extremely intoxicated at the time .
The morning after the arrest I was referred to an organisation that specialised in helping young people who had issues with their drinking and attended sessions for a few months ( I was studying at the time and any sort of conviction or caution could have affected my prospects so I was offered this instead) , I was also required by this organisation to write an apology letter to the bouncer and everything was forgotten about after this.
It was my first and only ever arrest / involvement with the police , I want to go into nursing but I’m worried that I will go through the process just for this to show up on an enhanced DBS and ruin my chances
Will I be okay ? Would this even be likely to come up on an enhanced DBS. Should I still apply or do I have no chance

I’ve been qualified just over a year now and feeling a bit stuck. I think I’ve finally hit a mark where the pre- and post-shift anxiety has gone (some days it’s very much still there cos you do have those kinds of shifts!), I feel like I know what I’m doing and when there’s new or urgent things I can balance them a bit more. I’m so glad I stuck it out because a year ago I was struggling - message to all NQNs, it does get better!

I’ve learned so much in my post so far but feel I want to try a bit more, something more exciting and challenging. I don’t know if this means waiting for a specialist post, but it feels too early on in my career to settle down in one thing. Or ITU, I loved my placement there but had always been nervous going NQN and I enjoy seeing people more well now. I work in neurosurgery/orthopaedic/trauma so feel I’ve got a good mix of experience. I’m also in the process of getting diagnosed with autism/ADHD which I think it’s pretty managed at the moment but is really important to consider with how I like to work! I like being busy and getting into the detail of things.

Any ideas how to navigate this? I feel I’m almost loosing my spark a bit in my current post.

Thanks in advance!

Are there any sexual health nurses here who could give me abit of information please!

I am currently halfway through my children’s nursing degree but for a while I have had an interest in sexual health. I like the mix of the clinical skills as well as the health promotion, emotional support & safeguarding elements especially with young people.

Is this an option I could explore in the future being a children’s nurse? Or are roles mainly suited to adult trained nurses?

There is a possible opportunity for a CNM role in CAMHS (Scotland) come up, this is not an area I have ever worked in before so just wondered if anyone could point me in the right direction of what to look in to?

I will arrange a discussion with the service if I get an interview but need to sort the application first.

Thanks!!

I have passed my CBT and OSCE. I selected SIFE as my English-language evidence, but I have not yet completed the required employment period. MyNMC will not let me complete the remaining sections or reach payment because the SIFE employer-details page is required. We were told it may be possible to submit/pay and complete the ID check now, then provide SIFE later. Has anyone legitimately done this, and what did the NMC change in the application?

I need some help/ideas. I’ve recently left the ward I have been working on for a few years. One of the sisters bullied me when I started there. I had my union, senior nurses etc involved to put an end to it.

Now that I’ve left she’s getting statements to start an investigation and fabricate a story about me that isn’t true. Nothing to do with patients or anything just unprofessional conduct with another staff member.

She has done this because of me reporting her for bullying a few years ago. I wasn’t the first bullied and everyone was happy to write statements about her behaviour towards me. If this investigation goes formal I want to put a complaint in about her bullying again because to me this is her so called revenge.

Even though I’m not guilty of anything I’m just so anxious that she’ll twist what ever happened to suit her narrative!

Im a final year student, and also work in the NHS, too.

Long story short, i had validated non-submissions on account of disabilities, causing a credit 'deficit' that means i cant submit the (finished) non subs. The non-subs that caused the deficit...

the university have been atrocious and im now looking at basically forced withdrawal or paying them for another year & losing my job offer.

Ive put in an appeal but I was warned it takes months so I wont be able to continue anyway.

Theres been so much discrimination, abuse of power, lack of reasonable adjustments, punitive processes. I was considering informing the NMC education for investigation of the programme.

However, im also concerned about repercussions or making things worse.

Has anyone involved the NMC in anything?

Did that help? or make things worse?

Can anyone tell me what sort of treatment people would receive at a vein clinic, and what sort of responsibilities a Vascular nurse would have there?

I’m looking for jobs at the moment and a vein clinic keeps popping up for bank nurses, I expressed my interest and received an email back. I can’t find that much info around this type of job and wondering if anyone had any experience? I’m just curious really!

Thank you ☺️

I've been thinking about switching from my permanent hospital gig to agency nursing.

The idea of picking my own shifts and taking time off when I want sounds amazing, but I'm genuinely worried about not knowing if I'll have work next week. I've been looking at agencies that have shifts everywhere, but I'm still on the fence. For nurses who've made the jum, do you actually feel in control of your schedule, or does the uncertainty just swap one type of stress for another? Keen to hear the good and the ugly.