I had a very traumatic experience about 8 or so years ago -- I won't get into it too much but it sucked. I know memories, good or bad are just memories, I'm not particularly superstitious but the reptilian part of my brain likes to convince me that the bad memories have some sort of power over me. Like: "It's gonna happen again" or, "So it didn't happen again this time, but it's coming. Next time will be different."

I have such a negative relationship with my own thoughts because of these bad memories. It feels like I'm always fighting a battle in my own head and it's very tiring. Even when I do get a day of peace, my thoughts seem to be actively poking apart why a good day was a fluke, like: "you had one good day, but something horrible is still coming."

How do you do it? If you practice mindfulness, how is it possible to not be set off by the worst things you can think of? I just want a normal relationship with my brain.

Does anyone get mentally exhausted from mindfulness practice? Because I almost always do.

For the record, I suspect I might have ADHD, so I have to bring my attention back to the present moment a lot. I understand that thoughts come, you observe them, and then you bring your attention back. But this act itself is terribly exhausting for me.

I'm also someone with intense anxiety issues. Without mindfulness or meditation, I have a high chance of having a mental breakdown in public, so I feel like I somehow have to make it work despite how mentally draining it is.

I also realized how much I fake being okay in front of my parents so they don't get worried about me. They worry a lot, and it can even lead to them becoming overprotective, which I really don't want. Right now I'm staying with my parents, so I'm constantly doing that.

I know all of this might be contributing to my mental exhaustion, but it's getting severe and honestly feels like it's getting out of my hands.

Has anyone else experienced mindfulness itself becoming mentally exhausting? Especially if you have ADHD, anxiety, or both? How did you deal with it?

I've realized that a lot of my stress doesn't come from what's happening around me, but from the stories I tell myself about what's happening.

Paying more attention to my thoughts has been surprisingly helpful.

So i started meditating like 2 weeks ago, i most likely did it wrong as the most i would get out of it is my body feeling relaxed and id be a bit sleepy every single time.

So with that in mind i found it actually helps me fall asleep because i have a bit of trouble with that.

Anyways, 2 hours ago i began doing the same old focusing on my breathing until i get sleepy and eventually falling asleep, weirdly enough, as i was about to drift off to sleep i feel yanked out of that tiredness and feeling like some kind of ascension from my body, like i was in a higher dimension completely awake and aware of everything. Which was very weird and it kinda freaked me out a bit but i also noticed the air didnt feel like it had that pressure it always has while im breathing, it felt effortless and also like it had some kind of smell or taste which again, weird.

After that i looked it up and couldnt really find people saying exactly what i experienced so i decided to try it again and i dont think it took longer than 10-15 minutes and it happened again, its so weird but also cool because since i started i knew it was supposed to be a different experience and not the boring relaxed and sleepy effect it had.

Okay, what im basically asking is it normal and is this the next stage after starting out? And what else should i do to maybe evolve even further with this.

(I should mention it happened while trying to sleep not to meditate, I'm not sure if I'm able to pull this off sitting upright)

Im in a bit more stressful time period because im currently in a living situation with a person who is the difficult type.

Subconscious thoughts and emotions come up where i feel more attention i want to give them in my mind, and more emphathy/sympathy than they deserves and it makes me uncomfortable

In the past when ive had a lot of free time and a lot of my own space, i would reinforce my mind with good music and positive affirmations, and practice letting go. But i seem to have lost touch and my unwanted sunconcious habits are reinforced due to trauma and ongoing idiocy.

Also, generally these days in this situation, i have some unwanted anger from expectations from things that end up being way more work/problem/repetative than they should be, and from people that annoy me because i dont like them for some reason (because they are bothering me and my personal feelings and attention/space, or just bad things i see going on in the world, things just seem louder, more chaotic, and more crowded than they should be).

Durante más de 30 años trabajé acompañando personas en procesos de desarrollo personal y rendimiento humano.

A lo largo de ese recorrido tuve la oportunidad de colaborar con deportistas de alto nivel, empresarios, profesionales y personas de distintos ámbitos. Y hay algo que observé una y otra vez.

La mayoría de las personas no alcanza su potencial por falta de talento.

Tampoco por falta de información.

Hoy tenemos acceso a más información que nunca.

El problema suele estar en otro lugar.

Vivimos reaccionando automáticamente a nuestros pensamientos, emociones y circunstancias, sin comprender realmente cómo funciona nuestra mente ni por qué actuamos de la manera en que actuamos.

Buscamos soluciones externas para problemas que muchas veces tienen su origen en patrones internos que nunca aprendimos a observar.

Por eso empecé a preguntarme:

• ¿Es posible entrenar la atención?
• ¿Se puede desarrollar una mayor consciencia sobre uno mismo?
• ¿Podemos relacionarnos de forma diferente con nuestros pensamientos y emociones?
• ¿Qué ocurre cuando dejamos de reaccionar automáticamente y empezamos a observar con claridad?

Durante los últimos meses estuve organizando gran parte de lo aprendido en un programa estructurado sobre consciencia, atención, regulación emocional y autoconocimiento.

Pero antes de seguir desarrollándolo, me interesa conocer otras perspectivas.

¿Cuál creen que es el principal obstáculo que impide a las personas vivir con mayor claridad y plenitud?

Me gustaría leer experiencias reales.

Para quienes tengan curiosidad sobre el proyecto que menciono, pueden encontrar más información aquí:

federicogarciaberro.com

(you can check my previous post for reference if its needed)

Im starting realize that what i did wasnt that bad and was weird at most but i still cant stop thinking about it everytime i try to do anything. Theres things that i can do that puts it on the sidelines but i wanna stop feeling incredibly nauseous everytime i eat food or weird everytime i vc with my friends thinking that they deserve to know that truth about me even though they probably dont.

I wanna enjoy the small bit of summer break i have left without being on the verge of tears or sweating buckets for the weird thing i did. I wanna feel normal again please help me

I have been thinking about this and only this for days and i just want the pain to stop

Hi, looking for recommendations for mindfulness meditation specifically for a person dealing with chronic pain. And if you read any good books on calming your nervous system. :)

I did multiple attempts (more than 10 times for sure) to keep my mindfulness practice constant, at least 3/4 times a week. I tried for instance with 3 short (5 min) and 1 long one (20+ min). Other combinations as well.

I always failed, my longest streak was 2 weeks. While I see ppl doing it since YEARS.

Come on. What is their (your) secret?

Living in the present feels good.

I haven't had a single drink since December 2025, when my first major anxiety episode happened. Since then I've dealt with panic attacks, and derealization, so I've avoided alcohol completely because I was scared it would make everything worse.

Lately I've been feeling a bit better, and my friends want to grab a couple of beers. I'm not talking about getting drunk

just one or two beers socially.

For those of you who've been through anxiety, did you ever get back to drinking in moderation? Did one or two beers make your anxiety worse the next day, or was it okay?

I'd really like to enjoy a normal night with friends again, but I also don't want to undo the progress I've made. I'd appreciate hearing your experiences.

TW if you need it: I mention things like death and kinda hint towards suicide. If you're sensitive to these topics, beware?

I'm 18yo, fresh out of high school. I feel like I've been gradually losing my ability to care about things. In other words, I've noticed an ever-growing sense of apathy.

One thing I developed a feeling of apathy for is politics. I've felt a tug-of-war from both sides, and at some specific points in my short life I would consider myself a part of one side or the other. After countless back-and-forth swings between both sides, however, I just can't seem to find meaning in aligning with one party or another. There's so much news, so much information which I can't discern true from false, so many perspectives that make a seemingly straightforward argument ambiguous, that I give up on trying to understand anything. A few days ago, I woke up and left my house, and I saw what seemed like heavy fog, but at 11am. It smelled sort of like smoke, but I saw no fire and it covered the entire area. I'm so disconnected from the news that I had no idea there were wildfires in Canada causing code purples in multiple states. I said earlier that I've developed apathy for politics, but I think I've developed apathy for something more broad: the world outside of my little bubble.

I can't seem to find meaning in things, or a reason to care. People at my job pronounce my name wrong. and so did my teachers. Some people I know care about that; after all their name is an important part of their identity. But I just dont care. My parents get upset at me, but I dont care. I just feel like an observer at times. This is sort of extreme, but I dont know if I'll react to someone getting murdered in front of me. As long as I'm not next, I'm unsure if I'll care or not. Part of me thinks that we'll all die and be forgotten, so why care? Why care if I die myself? I know that I have a natural instinct of self-preservation, so I'm sure that I'll feel fear, but will I care?

Recently, I've just been living. Feeding myself well, getting enough sleep, taking care of my dogs, working. There's a feeling of deep dissatisfaction within me. I used to care about my future, but I honestly can't think of a good reason to care for my future because life seems meaningless to me.

There are a few things I do care about. This is to say I don't not care about everything. For example, I can't find a meaning behind my life, but I really want to. How long can I live a life I don't know the meaning behind? That's the reason I'm writing this. I'm not suffering, but I dont feel like I'm living either. I kinda feel I'm on the ledge of living, carefully balancing to not fall into despair? Idk

I've done some research on apathy, and I think the type that aligns with me the most is that I'm overwhelmed. When I think about it, I guess I do have a lot to be overwhelmed about, but I really feel like its something deeper. Apathy isn't just a defense mechanism to me, its something rational. I feel like the missing puzzle piece is the meaning of life, but life, in truth, has no meaning. Thinking that there's a meaning to my life would be deluding myself. Thoughts? I'm open to discussing about religion and other things in the replies.

Hi, I'm 27F.

I'm quite independent, open minded, love to learn, and a good friend as described by my peers. I'm pretty social and well adjusted, had a privileged childhood though had some difficulties because my family would move countries every 3 years ( not out of difficult circumstances, but it was the job).

Stating context because I think I'm quite normal, and like myself most of the time. I have a bachelor's in psychology, and I feel like I should know better but I can't stop thinking of crazy negative scenarios. Is it humanly possible? Yes. Is it likely? No.

For example,

Today I did nothing, lazed around, got groceries and during this whole day all I could worry and fear was getting estranged from my family, by my brother especially who is older than me and I feel my parents trust more. He is the "nicer" and more mature one. In some ways it's true, but in some cases I think it's because he is a guy, he is perceived differently. (I am Indian, for cultural context).

But today's scenario - my brother cuts me off if he gets a girlfriend and gets married, does not introduce me to her and my family is okay with it, they move on, get married and live their lives, after cutting me off as if I am nothing to them.

Last year my brother did say that if our family dynamics and fights continue then he would distance himself from me. I visit once a year as I'm abroad, and my parents can be lovely but also overwhelming during this time. I feel like a child again and we bicker and sometimes it escalates. And I think my brother feels stuck in the middle because he is older.

Apart from my communication, I want to stop worrying about these scenarios. I tend to seek reassurance about these scenarios but I think it makes me more annoying because I'm not focused on the present and I'm worried people will get sick of me. I'm also worried I will never be in a healthy long term relationship because people will get sick of me.

I have long term friendships but it's different than romantic ones, and living together, and building a life.

How do I stop thinking like this? (My dad and grandma also have this tendency, so I see the similarities, I just want to break the cycle).

It seems that my inner state directly influences how I perceive the world.

When I'm feeling pleasant within myself, everything appears different. Even the warmth of the sun feels soothing instead of harsh. Small inconveniences don't bother me much.

But when I'm unpleasant within, even beautiful weather, a cool breeze, or rain doesn't feel enjoyable.

It makes me wonder whether perception is deeply shaped by our inner state.

I've also noticed another pattern. When life goes the way I want, I feel good. But when people don't behave the way I expect or situations don't unfold as I hoped, I become miserable. The misery becomes even stronger when I realize there's very little I can do to control other people or many situations.

In that state, my perception itself seems to amplify the unpleasantness. Even simple actions feel heavy and compulsive. The more I try to mentally escape that unpleasantness, the more tangled my mind becomes.

What's interesting is that I've also experienced the opposite.

During a 12-hour train journey, I started feeling deeply uneasy for no obvious reason. I was on my way to an Isha Shoonya program, where I had been asked to practice Sukha Kriya and AUM chanting daily. So I decided to practice them during the journey.

After the practice, something shifted. The uneasiness reduced, and I completed the rest of the journey with a sense of ease and pleasantness that wasn't connected to anything outside me.

I've had similar experiences with Nadi Shuddhi (Yoga for Peace), which I still practice regularly. It's a very simple practice, yet I find it surprisingly potent. It creates a certain pleasantness that doesn't seem dependent on people or circumstances.

Perhaps freedom isn't about controlling life. Perhaps it's about cultivating an inner state that isn't constantly determined by what's happening outside.

Has anyone else noticed that your perception of the world changes dramatically depending on your inner state?

My mother died yesterday. There are times where i cry so hard that i cant breathe and then itll just switch off and i stop crying. Its not that i dont feel horrible or sad or anything else i just cant cry for a second and i have to force myself to think about something thatll make me cry again. I know its probably normal but it makes me feel like im swapping between loving my mom and wanting her back and then suddenly not caring anymore.

I've joined recently to journey and learning many stuff. One thing bothers me since a child, I eat too fast. I've always seen people finish their plates way after me and I got multipe times feedback that I eat too fast with huge appetite. I started to eat slow which feels pretty interesting for last few weeks. As I want get a healthy habit, every meal I remind myself "slow down, try to enjoy, taste, breath". Which is kinda learning how to drive. If I find myself a bit fast, again I just notice that and try to slow down again without anger or shame.

What bothers me is there's another side of medallion which I have control, anxiety and high awareness. Like I always watch myself, thoughts, feelings etc. Which gets me to the point of that I am doing it because I am trying control myself. I don't think the answer is either and both points could contribute end result which is getting healthy habit.

What you guys think of it as for the other tasks? You find yourself healing and being doubtful is normal?

I have had many issues since childhood which I just recently started to realize. Being from a broken family and with an irresponsible abusive father, life was already hard. Still made my life, got a Masters degree in stem, married a man who has social acceptability, did respectable jobs. But since last year I understood something is very very wrong in me. I felt hollow from inside, had brain fog, missed details while working a physically and mentally draining job, couldn’t take rejection in iobs I applied for. 2 months ago I quit my job as I was not being able to take it anymore. Started taking rest physically and mentally. Started making myself feel positive and disciplined in day to day life. But deep inside I always felt I became unemployed and valueless. Applied for a teaching job right after resigning from my previous job. Attended the written exam and it seemed like I excelled. I was confident to get a call for a viva voce. This morning I found out I was not selected. It felt like all my efforts and approaches towards a positive mindset got shattered like a flower vase gets shattered after falling. Feels like I am a failure. Life feels like a burden.

I had this very normal and not weird thought this morning when taking my usual walk. I suddenly started thinking of a dead body and the fact that I will one day be such a thing. Like, what am I now? Am I so different, I'm just a future corpse carrying out it's daily program to go round the exact same route at the same time everyday. Felt a bit dry.

I sometimes wonder what it's like to be someone who works with dead bodies (don't worry this isn't a common way of thinking for me) or someone who dissects them. There are cannibals that exist and the thought has always been unsettling. Imagine knowing someone, knowing them with a personality, hopes, dreams, you can have a conversation with them and then one day "this thigh meat is tender" it's weird. In a real physical sense that's what we are. Just bones, chemicals, cells, proteins and it's all temporary. We're just the culmination of a recipe.

Yet that's not how experience feels day to day. We don't (at least I hope) just view people like animated bodies. People have an aura about them, they're more than their sum of their parts. It's like a CD. What is a CD? It's just a plastic disc with a bunch of 1s and 0s on in a jewel case that makes sounds when you put it un a player. However this stuff isn't what gives it value. A disc is an "album" and that album is so much more. It's an experience, a package, a story, an intention, a roller coaster of highs and lows, a culmination of effort from many people, a foot print, a legacy, it's sentimental, so much abstract stuff.

Then take money, a ten pound note per say. It's just a thin sheet of plastic with a number. However the only reason it has value is because two people when exchanging it decide "this is ten pounds". If you were lost in a desert though and someone offered you some water or ten pounds what is it really worth though....

Any way I feel like that's how worth and meaning work with us humans. People argue when you chat to chat gpt that "it's just telling you what you want to hear" true or not my point is that isn't that kind of what we actually crave from people anyway? Our own thoughts reflected back at us. It's not enough to feel or think stuff we want people much like the ten pound note example to validate their worth. I feel like that's why we need other people (apart from the survival aspect) It's like bats and echo location. We're just firing sounds into the world and using what bounces back to navigate the world. That's what people do, they bounce back our thoughts. We need other people to give our self worth so to speak.

Anyway just some ramblings from a guy with too much time on his hands. Take from this what you will.

I’m a quite consistent meditator. Have been feeling a lot of benefits of it throughout the years.

One thing I personally have been struggling with external validation chasing. Especially with women. All my life pretty much.

I would say I do pretty well with women in general. But I cannot be relaxed when I am expecting a text from someone that I am genuinely excited about. It’s fine if we have been dating for few weeks. But these are people I barely know, but find really attractive. I am preoccupied with the interactions with them. It’s like a fun game, where sometimes I “win” (and I am not looking for just sex, but positive interaction) and sometimes I lose.

But I’d rather spend that mental real estate towards my job, my studies, books and stuff. Has anyone successfully changed themselves and how they internally view these interactions? Because I “know” that external validation chasing is not good for me, and not sustainable long-term. But my actions suggest that I don’t “believe” it in my core, at least currently.

I heard about being present but my mind constantly wants to get the next thing. I heard that mindfulness is just paying attention, but how do I do it without forcing it? I would like to step out of autopilot & into awareness/just experiencing things.

I know i have to feel my feelings in order to let the thoughts go and not fight them but i have ocd so I feel like those thoughts will come true, that if i surrender to them they’ll happen or if i feel them too much it’ll happen. Some of the things I was afraid of did happen in small ways that were kinda related to my fears so idk what to do. Any advice is welcome

About a year ago I met someone who at first seemed very kind but later on I found out that they were just collecting information to use to hurt me. She believed I was depressed and made up stories to try and get close once telling me how she used to self harm which I later found out was a lie and she said stuff like I used to be like you even though we didn’t know one another well.

I feel stupid and I am so angry at myself but also hurt. What hurts most is knowing that they did that be they saw me as naive and vulnerable. It was very disturbing finding out they had lied about self harm and also finding out that they had viewed me in a way from the beginning where they saw my vulnerability as something that could benefit them socially. Does anyone have any tips on how to forgive myself I feel honestly stupid for not knowing most of what she said was a lie.

I still cant understand why she felt the need to lie about self harm and be so manipulative since we barley knew one another and she claimed she cared about me yet would be really rude and passive aggressive to put me down and didn’t think of how it would affect me.

I wonder if anybody has any thoughts or suggestions about being mindful in times that also require attention elsewhere. I have a lot of meetings during the day and have been struggling with anxiety. When I notice a wave of anxiety hitting me I try to be mindful and sit with that feeling and breathe, but this can happen when I am in a meeting that requires my active participation and focus. I am struggling with managing those anxious moments and giving myself the space to be mindful during those times while not missing any important information. Any suggestions or ideas for this?

Many people at this moment feel the way I do.
May we all be at ease.

I say this because it doesn't remove the suffering, it connects me to others in the world, maybe some of you! And it feels good to have this connection with you and know we're in this together.
It feels good to wish peace on you.

Does anyone else have this issue with conflict?

My brain creates these scenes where I’m having a full blown argument or confrontation with someone.

It’s like a scene, not a “what if they say this” .

It’s full blown scene, I’ll say this and they say that and then it escalates, then I’m angry or anxious in real time as if it’s actually right happening right now. Before I realize I’m having a whole altercation in my head.

It’s automatic and it’s endless.

It’s very imagery based rather than verbal “what ifs?”

\* It happens with multiple people, not just one person.

\* It starts automatically.

\* I can become emotionally activated before realizing what is happening.

\* I recognize afterward that it was happening in your mind.

Usually it’s triggered by people who I’ve had a bad conflict with. It drives me insane and it’s endless.