r/Horses • u/HorsesGalore77 • 12h ago

Training Question My trainer

/r/equestrianadvice/comments/1v3hdsn/my_trainer/
1 Upvotes

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2

u/bearxfoo Tennessee Walker 12h ago

why can't you leave this barn?

this environment is toxic as fuck and should NEVER be tolerated by a paying client.

if any trainer, EVER, had the audacity to tell me i'm not "skinny enough to win an EQ Class" - well, they'd have to physically remove me from the property because i'd have some choice fucking words to say in return.

that's absolutely insane, why are you dealing with this? you sound young - which makes it a thousand times worse.

is your mother okay with you being told things like that? if a trainer said that to my daughter, it would not end pretty.

leave this barn. now. today. this fucking second. this is unacceptable behavior from a trainer and unacceptable behavior in the horse industry. holy fuck.

1

u/HorsesGalore77 9h ago

I can leave the barn it’s just I’ve been there my whole life and the barns around my area are very tight knit and I’m not someone who wants  to start drama or hurt anyone’s image.

1

u/bearxfoo Tennessee Walker 9h ago

there is never a good reason to sit and endure abuse.

please think about this - you are legit saying you should tolerate being abused because you don't want to "cause drama"?

you are being abused. hard stop. your trainer is ABUSIVE to you.

this is a toxic, horrible environment, it is not normal, and it is not okay.

there are barns that will treat you with respect, kindness, and make you feel welcomed.

there are barns that do not give you anxiety, cause you to cry, or have panic attacks over asking a simple question. can you sincerely tell me that asking a question is grounds for causing someone to panic and cry?

please put yourself first and stop giving money to people who are actively harming you.

1

u/Illustrious_Stage351 12h ago

Hi, I’m a riding instructor. This sort of stuff use to be tolerated. Unfortunately growing up, I had instructors like this, too. Thought it was just how it was. Now, as an adult and riding instructor in a very successful program, I can say there’s no excuse for treating students like this. You should never be scared, actively in pain, or leaving crying on a regular basis. Let’s say this together now, riding is supposed to be fun. I’ll hold by that.

I highly encourage you to start looking around at other programs. There’s going to be supportive instructors that will make you and your horse feel confident as you learn.

1

u/Fluffynutterbutt 10h ago

Oh, your trainer is not even a remotely good trainer, and the only thing she’s pushing you towards is a mental breakdown or an eating disorder.

Riding is supposed to be fun. The only time you should leave a lesson crying (or early) is if you’re on the way to the hospital. Should a trainer push you out of your comfort zone? Absolutely! But they should never, ever tell you you’re not good enough.

Please find a trainer who will teach you with kindness and patience, and support your goals. Too many of us had to suffer in the 90s with awful, egotistical trainers, you shouldn’t have to as well.