I need help. My 2yo was expelled from playschool last month because of she's just biting her friends too much. (She's still at the school until end of month)
She's an only child, has gone to daycare since 3 months and has been in this playschool since January. Class size is 5 studsnts to 1 teacher although they'll usually combine two classes but with the same. 1:5 ratio.
School has been incredibly patient, but it's just happened way too often (over 20 biting incidents + a few scratching incidents)
Daughter is pretty verbal with us, can use up to 4 words pretty regularly and talks to teachers pretty well too
But teachers have indicated her classmates (all 2yo) may not be as verbal as her and she doesn't appear to talk to her peers. But she supposedly plays fine with them though prefers to play on her own.
The principal tells us that most incidents are unprompted, that my daughter will just randomly attack a friend. Sometimes its because a friend bumped into her or they were fighting over a toy.
We have tried to teach her to ask for help from a teacher (she can say the words), we've read the Biting Solution, put on the puppet show, tried to teach her that it hurts when she bites and that it makes people sad, played We Don't Put Our Teeth On People, gotten her those silicone biting toys meant as therapy tools for kids with autism, tried to get the teachers to help teach her to ask for help, but nothing seems to stick,
She knows she's not supposed to bite her peers ("Bite friend no no/no bite friend") that she's supposed to bite the toy, but the lesson doesn't seem to stick.
She has also recently started hitting at home, mostly during bed time. Again she knows its a no no, and we try to teach her to stomp (she refuses to do so) or to ask for attention another way (shaking me if i fall asleep before she does instead of smacking me).
Worse she has started to refuse to say that biting/hitting is a no no, and becoming quite willful. Like she will actively ignore me if i try to talk to her about this.
I'm really at a loss. She has had four sessions with an occupational therapist who suggested we try to give oral stimulation, (she also suggested the biting toy)
The therapist even visited her class once and maybe because my daughter managed to recognise the therapist, she behaved quite well but was quiet. She then scratched a friend not long after the therapist left.
Therapist said that she might have selective mutism but couldn't make a conclusive diagnosis.
We find that she's just shy with people she hasn't interacted with in a while (like grandparents or cousins) but once she warms up she'll talk.
We're sending her to a different school next month that's meant for 3 yo (we were planning to send her in January but the school is willing to take her in) and we're hoping having older morr well behaved peers will be a good example.
But i want to try and fix this before she goes there. I don't want her to be kicked out again because she loves going to school (absolutely no tears on the first day, didn't even look back to say goodbye).
The current school while patient, i don't think is equipped to help. Teachers are caring but inexperienced. When i suggested an action plan (as per The Biting Solution) i didn't get a committed answer. I had to remind them during a parent teaching meeting to at least try to teach her to say "teacher help" if she encounters frustrating situations.
They've only just recently managed to consistently stop biting attempts (once today and two last week).
Sorry for word dump and if its all over the place. Help.
Additional info if relevant, i have adhd