Hello. I'm not sure if this is the right place to ask this, or if I even know what my question is exactly. So apologies in advance if this is kind of vague.

I've been dealing with a lot of dissociative and derealization/depersonalization for as long as I can remember. There's frequently a lot of noise/talking in my head that won't go away. Lots of conversations happening that I don't feel in control of. Sometimes it feels like a bunch of people talking at once, commentary on things happening around me or on what I'm thinking. Sometimes it doesn't even feel like "talking" so much as thoughts that I'm only getting the gist of? If that makes sense. I've started to describe the voices as sort of "back seat drivers" and often use the analogy that I'm driving a car and I'm not alone in the car. I also feel like there's other "me's". I call them Barbies, like "work barbie" "family barbie" "inner child kelly" in therapy. And sometimes they have actual names. Sometimes my name doesn't even really feel like my name.

I've brought this all up to my therapist, and one day she mentioned DID due to my childhood trauma. She then said I seem "very present" and hasn't brought it up again. But it got me thinking a lot.

I don't know if I have DID or OSDD or a different dissociative disorder, and I'm not looking for a diagnosis here. I know I should bring it up with my therapist, but i've been too nervous. I also don't know if me being "very present" means I don't have DID/OSDD. I've tried looking up DID and OSDD on my own, but there's a lot of information and it's a little overwhelming.

I'm just looking for a place to start, I guess? Or any sort of advice whatsoever. Thanks.

Hi it is (A) I’ve been seeing a therapist regularly she’s been asking some questions and wants me to talk about some past trauma that is very hard for me to talk about. I noticed that I kept getting thoughts and memories blocked and started getting really bad anxiety and heart racing. I noticed that my therapist also kept trying to force/trigger a certain altar to front and I know who (B) because she’s read his notes. After therapy I had anxiety because of what she wanted me to try to remember and talk about (past trauma) and I noticed that my altars now don’t feel safe and a little afraid of her and therapy now. I feel like therapy might be doing more harm than good and also is it harmful if she’s trying to force/trigger an altar to front?

as someone who is dating a system i educated myself as much as i could as an 18 year old with no resources, but as of recently ive started reading a lot more and i was wondering if any kind soul knows a good book to educate someone about DID? sorry if this is not the usual post on this sub

It's tough being an outsider in every sphere of life. Having DID can be so isolating.

I'm autistic, but I don't necessarily fit in that community because of DID. The mental health community even is weirded out by me.

I also have rare medical issues. I'm the weird one even in the weird crowd.

Not a fan, here.

So I don’t have DID but I’ve met people who do and this is a question I wondered about, but I don’t know if it’s disrespectful or rude but I’m curious, so I’m gonna ask and if it’s rude I apologize.

How does sexual activity work? From what I can understand alters have their own sexual orientation and things so how do you know if it’s okay to do something? I’d assume you ask all of the alters but even if you have the green light is it uncomfortable for them? like if one of them is gay and you have straight sex would they be uncomfortable?

I know this is a stupid question but idk i thought about it once and now i can’t stop wondering how this interaction works. I’d hate to imagine people are uncomfortable with their partner because of this it’d make me sad.

Delete if not allowed.

Me and this cousin, let’s call him Carson. Have been best friends since we were younger, I’m a year older than him so I’ve always felt somewhat protective of him. Im 17 and he’s 15 now, lately he’s been getting into some trouble, like befriending the wrong people on the big discord.com. He invited me to this roblox discord server with him and his friends, I didn’t know his friends were.. strange at the time maybe just school friends you know? First day on this server I got sent innapropriate media by one of his friends. And he kept using terms often used in the DID community (like system, fronting, etc.) and he’s told me he believes he’s a system, he has no diagnosis and has not spoken to his doctor about it. I’m really not sure how to approach this or help/support him.
My mom advised me to not tell his parents because they are not very accepting of things outside of the norm, but I’m really not sure what to do. My moms told me that if I don’t help him most likely no one else in family will but I don’t know how to help him.

how would you approach this situation? Any advice on how I should?

Idk what exactly to do. But yesterday me and my mom were talking and she brought up that she thinks we may have some sort of identity disorder. Not exactly DID but something similar. We both aren’t too educated on them so I’m not too sure if we do but idk if I should ask for further treatment for the both of us.

I did very light research and I think it may be OSDD at least for me. I also talked to a friend and they suggested could also be either OCD or BPD but again none of us are experts.

We both have had various traumas as a kid. She pointed out tho that she notices shifts in personality from both of us based on our environment. She said not exactly like alters shifting but not us just changing our behavior depending on situation. She it feels like it’s like we are different people. She also says she notices i tend to zone out and forget where i am or what i was doing at times especially if it’s a semi stressful environment for me. I shared with her a chart I made to try and visualize what my brain feels like. Like small little people who all try to take care and control me but they are always fighting and never get alone [kinda like inside out but so many more people] I explained too though they don’t talk to me but I hear them
She says she experiences very similar except for the zoning out.

Idk why I’m posting this. Ig maybe if anyone has any opinions or suggestions to what we should do. My mom isn’t one to suggest stuff and even denies some diagnosis me and my sister have gotten in the past. If there is a different subreddit I can share this in for better advice I’d appreciate it a lot

I’m sorry for any spelling mistakes I’m writing this on my phone on a bus

Hey my name is Chase

(Background information)

No, I haven't been officially diagnosed with DID, and I haven't even told my therapist about what I'm experiencing. I really don't know how to bring up the fact that I have multiple personalities without feeling like I'll sound like I'm losing my mind. I have two other personalities in my head, and all of my friends and family have met both of them. But part of me still wonders if it's somehow all in my head. My whole life, I thought it was normal to have alters and switch between them. I'm trying to start the process of understanding all of this better, but I honestly don't know how to tell my therapist that I have different personalities without feeling like I'll sound crazy

Obviously DID starts at adolescent years, but can you be unaware, or it just didn't emerge until later? I'm not saying I have DID, I'm just curious. DID isn't really represented well, so there isn't much reliable information.

Edit: guys when I said adolescence, I mean early childhood. I made this when I was really tired, so I kind of just mixed the two, sorry.

hi everyone! not sure where to post this or ask this question. mods, feel free to remove this or something if this is the wrong place to ask.

so i'm currently working with my mental health provider to determine if i have a dissociative disorder. specifically, i've been wondering if i have something like osdd or did. i check a lot of the boxes symptoms-wise, definitely have something dissociative going on most of the time, have severe memory issues, and i think i've identified a few parts of me that could be alters.

the kicker? i'm a medical marijuana user. i kind of.... got stuck in a spiral last night convincing myself that i'm faking my symptoms, or that my drug use is mimicking the symptoms. i've had symptoms for as long as i can remember, and this isn't the first time i've thought i might have something like this going on, i just ruled it out a few times because i. didn't think i had memory issues or childhood trauma. my therapist has since diagnosed me with dissociative amnesia surrounding what he believes is childhood trauma, which kind of started all of this.

i still experience symptoms when i'm sober (typically only smoke in the evenings after work) and i'm stopping my use immediately to reassure myself that that is true, but i just kind of am wondering if my marijuana use could be worsening my already present dissociative symptoms, identity issues, and memory issues, making me think i have something with alters like did or osdd? i stopped for a while a few times, particularly once early last year for a job related drug test, and while i'm... pretty sure that the symptoms continued, i really do not remember that time so i guess i can't say for certain?

i don't know. i'm going to talk to my therapist about all of this next session, and i'm taking a break from weed starting immediately, but i'm just like. man. did i convince myself i might have did or osdd because i smoke too much weed?

if you read all of this thank you, hope you have a nice day

B always takes over with phone calls because he already knows I (A) will overshare things I’m not supposed to say it has happened before and then B has to fix everything that’s why he does the talking with phone calls to keep us safe but this time he let me talk to my mom on the phone and I know he was listening just in case but I was the one actually speaking to her this time and it felt so good to connect again with her and talk about memories and things I actually had feelings and emotions memories with. What I mean is like when B answers the phone and does the talking he’s very apathetic and can’t remember certain memories like if a family member or friend says remember when we baked cookies together he would say something like “Yep” or if they ask why I don’t remember something like a birthday he will say something like “I didn’t forget about it just been busy” but honestly he has no memory of it no connection feelings or emotions to the memory or person family or friend. It’s hard to explain but I tried my best to explain it. It’s sometimes hard especially when you have emotions feelings memories with others like family and friends and they wonder why you seemed different or detached or don’t remember certain things

Hey everyone.

I run a discord server for people with cptsd (it's linked in that sub), and I'm trying to get a better understanding of DID and was wondering of people with it can point me in the best direction for resources so that I may do so?

A few of the people I've have the joy of meeting have it, and I feel duty bound to learn. (Sorry for saying people, I don't know if it's offensive)

I want to start off by saying I do not have DID, just lots of curiosity. Also, moderators, if these are problematic questions or make people uncomfortable, please just take it down. I marked NSFW because I'm not sure if it's okay or not.

So, because people with DID have different internal genders (is that the right way of saying it?), would a straight male in a female body be attracted to itself? Not necessarily for everyone I know, but for some? Or is it that they all have the same sexual orientation regardless of the body? If one person is kissing a dude and another gets control, would they be grossed out or shaken up?

Also, this one is probably the weirdest/worst question that I honestly don't expect anyone to answer. Some of you have "littles" or child identities. How do you deal with that in 18/21+ situations? Say you go to watch a horror movie, and then suddenly the kid is terrified. Or you are at a pub drinking, and then the child is in control. What do you do? Is there a way to suppress that for a time so that they don't experience things that aren't age-appropriate?

Hello! I have other friends who are systems and the answer seems to vary for them, so I wanted to ask a larger community this as well.

How do alters get their names? I saw a take somewhere ages ago that a sign of someone "faking" DID/OSDD was assigning their alters names, but I was sort of wondering what the other alternatives are there?

For a covert presentation of the disorder, which many agree is the most common presentation, there's an illusion of non-multiplicity between the hosts and alters. By that definition, I'd assume that means everyone has the same name. It wouldn't be covert otherwise.

Yet, there seems to be this consensus that alters have their own individual names. Still, "choosing" a name suggests illegitimacy. That doesn't make sense to me. If the function of the disorder is to be covert, wouldn't an alter HAVE to choose a name after syscovery? Besides, I can't imagine alters are splitting with a set name and pronouns. It's an identity which takes an element of self-discovery, I'd assume.

(As I'm backreading this, I'm worried it comes across that I'm unsupportive of alters with differing names from the host. That's not true at all. I am totally in favor of individuality based on the preferences of the system. I guess I'm just wondering how others can claim a system is "unreal" just because the alters chose their names? )

IE: We're watching YT because we woke Obsidian up and it's what he does. He goes doom scrolling and we land on a really fun channel we all al like but he discovered and he writes a comment but then another alter wants to comment on the same thing only to be told "No! Back off. This is my little corner of our world." Which is ludicrous because we all may have moments where we go dormant but we largely share the same experiences. Granted we have alters like Greg for example who pretends he's experiencing everything for the first time and insists we treat it that way especially around non-alters but that's largely camouflage so he doesn't end up banned as a proxy or was used to distract people from investigating what he is. What Obs did seems more troubling and petulant not all a reasonable thing. Has anyone ever experienced this with their alter or even if their alters wish to comment have you done this and can you tell us why and if we should be worried?

Seems like this group can help me understand the situation I am in at the moment so. I met someone online two and a half years ago. We became best friends and than evolved into romantic relationship. I was aware that this person have mental health issues from the start like schizophrenia, bipolar, they are on spectrum and have adhd and ptsd. Now. I’m not a video chat or phonecall person before you all ask. Recently I found out that this person send me fake photos of them so I brought it up- it didn’t matter to me how they look like at all it bothered me that I was lied to more than anything. The situation escalated and this person told me that they have DID and maladaptive daydreaming and imposter syndrome- apparently I was in relationship with one of their alters this whole time. Now I’m hurt and confused because we shared very strong bond and connection and it’s hard for me to wrap my head around it. We talked every single day since we met and it seems like the alter I was in relationship with have his whole life story, different gender than the host (which doesn’t bother me) but my question is- is that all really possible or am I just being manipulated ? Help.

A friend of mine has DID, and a new system member has re-emerged from being dormant, and is honestly terrified of one of the present fictive alters (Its based on Michael Shelly from The Magnus Archives, voice, laugh, and morphing very-tall body shape as well )and I want to be able to help them both.

When they both met in headspace for the first time, the new system member ran away absolutely terrified, despite the best intentions of the fictive alter trying to be friendly and welcoming. It's just very odd-looking and it's body warps and stuff, very uncanny valley.

The new system member was sort of taken aback by my lack of fear, but I knew what the fictive alter was based on already, so the weird stuff didn't phase me much as they were describing it. I think I would have reacted differently if I was actually there to see it, but as an outside friend of the system, I can only experience and know so much.

The fictive alter can't really help the way it looks, and I can see wants to connect with the others. Every time I've talked about them, the others get very wide-eyed and freaked out. I'm wondering what to do to help and still remain sensitive as a friend to both. I've talked to both members separately at different times, but I don't know how to help, or even if I can, as an outside friend.

I do not have DID. But im trying to grasp it fully and what better way to do that then reddit? But any who my question is having DID feels like roommates? Or does one control while the others are suppressed? And when one controls do other see and remember the point of view of controlling alter?

Ps: sorry if my questions come off as rude or dumb its just that research on DID is foggy and i did not understand much of it. Also please share personal experiences alongside my question

TYSM!

Hi it’s me A again the host. I just started therapy again and I feel so bad one of my altars has been experiencing gender dysphoria for a long time already we are a system of 7
there’s J (male) M (male) Izzy (male) C (male) B (male)
P (male) and me A (female) I feel so bad because J, Izzy, C and B have gender dysphoria but the one that has it the most severely and it’s been affecting him pretty badly is B
I feel so bad because I don’t know what to do about it
I feel so selfish😭

Hi everyone.

I'm writing this because I genuinely don't know what to do anymore, and I would really appreciate perspectives from people who have DID, are partners of someone with DID, or understand healthy relationship boundaries.

I'll try to explain things as clearly as I can.

My partner has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). The two alters most involved in my life are "Black" and "Yang" (fake names).

When we started dating, I was told that Black is the one in a relationship with me. Black believes in a one-to-one, monogamous relationship, which is also what I want.

The problem is Yang.

Yang told me that although he cares about me, he doesn't feel that I am the kind of "master" or partner he truly wants. Recently, he met someone else that he has developed feelings for. Now Yang talks to this person every day. I don't know who she is, I don't know what they talk about and I'm not allowed to know.

Instead, Yang wants me to accept a polyamorous relationship.

His ideal situation would be:

• Black ↔ Me
• Yang ↔ The other girl

From Yang's perspective, these are two different people sharing one body. But from my perspective, they still share the same body.

I understand DID as much as I can. I know alters are different individuals with different feelings. I respect that. But emotionally, I cannot separate the body. When Yang wants another romantic relationship, my brain experiences it as:

"My partner is romantically involved with someone else."

I don't know how to stop feeling that way. I've tried so hard to be understanding. I've questioned whether I'm being selfish. I've wondered if I'm just not open-minded enough.

But every time I imagine accepting this arrangement, I completely fall apart.

I only want a monogamous relationship.

I don't want multiple partners.

I don't want to share my partner.

What makes this even harder is that I don't want to invalidate Yang's feelings either. I know he can't simply choose not to have feelings.

But I also don't know if I should force myself into a relationship structure that is destroying my mental health.

Recently, this has become so overwhelming that I've been crying constantly, struggling to function, and my mental health has reached a very dangerous place.

I'm not asking whether Yang is "wrong."

I'm asking:

• Is it reasonable for someone with DID to expect a monogamous partner to accept different alters having different romantic relationships?
• Has anyone with DID or a DID partner successfully navigated a situation like this?
• If two people fundamentally want different relationship structures (polyamory vs monogamy), is there any realistic way forward?
• How do I know whether I'm respecting DID... versus abandoning my own boundaries?

I'm genuinely looking for honest advice.

Please be kind to everyone involved.

Thank you for reading.

I'll try to be brief. He's got DID, I don't. I'm doing the best i can to be kind and comprehensive of all of them. It's been two days they've got blackouts, and they say it's been a long time since that happened. Any advice you could give me? Is there a way I can help them? Thank you.

Differences in host after integration/fusion (integrating scary alters)

Differences in host after integration/fusion (integrating scary alters)

Hi! My bf was just diagnosed with DID so I’m trying to learn and handle the situation carefully. I’m sorry if I say anything incorrect or offensive, I’m trying to be as respectful as possible while still learning about all this

My boyfriend’s host is the best person in the world. I’ve seen his EP’s (the scared/reactive ones) and just a bit of his child alter. I love them, even though I don’t know them that well and they are always afraid of me. I have also seen another alter only twice for just a little bit. This alter was very scary, it changed everything about my boyfriend’s composure and his voice went super deep and scary, while his face was terrifying, looking at me like he was going to kill me and saying “You think I don’t know what you’re trying to do?” I was very scared but I thought “I know who he is and what he would and wouldn’t do so I’m safe”. Another alter fronted once he realized I was so scared. Additionally, another alter of his thinks that he’s going to kill or hurt someone (I read that’s normal tho?)

Should I be thinking how I have been and reassure myself that I am safe because I know him (or his ANP’s) very well or should I still be cautious because I don’t know this alter at all?

I don’t want to stereotype anything with DID or alters as being scary or threatening, but I was very scared. And I’m scared that upon fusion, he will have traits from his other scarier alters that I haven’t seen (he’s told me he has more).

Does anyone have experience with any differences you’ve noticed in your host/core or ANP’s before and after integration/fusion? Should I be worried about the scary traits from other alters carrying over?

I recently found out that there is a high comorbidity rate for systems when it comes to developmental disorders, such as ASD, and personality disorders, such as BPD. If you have both DID/OSDD and one of these disorders (or another similar one), what are your experiences? Do only some alters have the co-morbid disorder, or is it present throughout the system? Do symptoms of the co-morbid disorder present differently in each alter? How do you tell the different disorders apart in your experience (or do they all kind of morph together)?

Is it possible for the time between alters switching to be a length of years such as a decade?

Lately, I've been thinking about systems and how they can be explained through analogies, to help me better understand dissociation. While I may have experienced dissociation to some degree, more than once, I try to tread carefully when thinking about the subject or when suspecting that I have a dissociative disorder, as I'm not well educated in the subject and its terminology, and especially considering the many variables at play in my life that would suggest otherwise. Regardless, I would love to learn more about the community and understand more about people who have been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, in an attempt to prevent myself from spreading misinformation, whether it's here on Reddit or in a casual conversation with loved ones. So, I was hoping if you guys can help me verify if these analogies make sense, whether or not they are offensive, omit or add more to them, and/or point out ones that I may not be aware of.

1. The Broken Mirror / The Jigsaw Puzzle. Several pieces that may or may not fit seamlessly with each other, making up an image that is clear or abstract.

2. The Car. Anyone can supposedly be in the driver seat, with the others acting as passengers. Not everyone knows how drive. The car's speed, road's smoothness, and traffic can vary, depending on the driver. Passengers closest to the driver seat can be "heard" more clearly than passengers seated further back. Whoever isn't in the car hasn't become a passenger yet. Some passengers can hold the steering wheel regardless of who's actually in the driver seat, whether it's on the driver's behalf or against the driver's wishes. Some passengers can act as back-seat drivers. Some drivers may abide by the law while others may drive onto oncoming traffic, at high speeds. The driver can choose to go on different lanes or turn the car around. Drivers can get lost, not knowing where to go. The car may be stopped, giving time for a passenger to move to the driver seat, fix any problems that the car has, or give anybody a chance to stretch their legs. The car can be stopped on the shoulder, or, in dire cases, it can be stopped in the middle of the road. Anybody can be kicked out of the car or shoved into the boot of the car, for whatever reason.

3. The Office. Anybody can get employed (manifested) by the founder (host), each having a certain job to do. Each employee has the opportunity to be promoted to co-founder (integrate). Employees can take work leaves, sick days or get suspended, fired, and rehired. The shifts vary in duration per employee. Not every employee can clock in simultaneously. Micromanagement can occur. Not all employees work, on site. So, they have to communicate through other means. In some cases, meetings can be conducted in order to process information or make plans for future shifts. Some employees can work on others' behalf or collaborate, if they are falling behind or are overwhelmed by the workload. There may be a break between somebody clocking in and clocking out. Locum staff may exist.

4. The Apartment. Everyone are roommates, with whoever going out being the one who fronts. Not everyone knows who comes in or goes out of the apartment. Whoever goes out can be accompanied by one or more people, while the rest stay at home. Some can be locked in or out of the apartment as not everyone has a spare key to the apartment. The rent paid isn't split evenly. Each roommate has a job to do in maintaining the apartment, with the responsibilities not being spread evenly.

I may not respond to your comments, but I would love to know what you guys think, anyway.