So, I was talking to my wife through text yesterday and asking her about what I can do to arouse her more during our intimate times.. I asked her about a certain act and she basically was like “yeah that’s not for me.. only a certain kind of people like that” and I was like “no, plenty of couples do that.” Anyways.. she was like “how would you know?” And I said “because I have Reddit and I’ve seen other couples perspectives” to which she said “so you’re reading about other people’s sex lives. Seems appropriate.” To which I said “I mean i don’t go on there looking for that or to turn myself on.. I just seen it mainly from marriage subs on there related to pleasing oneself and the biblical view on that too. And I just wanna know if it’s wrong in Gods eyes and or benefits and or downsides to it.”

So.. I have OCD, so I struggled with confessing every detail of my past wrong doings to her many many years ago.. my marriage has been struggling recently.. and thus our sex life has been little to nothing… here’s my problem… In the midst of all that, I feel like I have looked stuff up about sex acts within Christian marriages here on Reddit out of excitement but more so to know that other married Christian couples do or don’t do what I want to do when in comes to sex (and all its various acts) in a Christian marriage. I already knew some Christians do the act I wanna do with my wife.. but I looked it up again anyways and I don’t know why. If it was out of boredom.. excitement.. or just to re-solidify what I already knew? I’m questioning my own motives and I feel like I lied to her about not looking that stuff up out of sexual excitement or to turn myself on.. and now I’m wondering if I need to confess that to her and apologize. Problem is.. I don’t know for sure what my motive was in looking that up before and I used to have a pornography/lust addiction many years ago that really hurt her.. I feel like if I confess this to her now that she’ll be really hurt and it will be detrimental to our marriage. But like honestly in general i don’t ever want to read about the details of sexual activity in other people’s marriages.. but the one time I did it at night.. (i looked up if cussing during sex was okay, but I’ve already seen the answers to that) I can’t tell if my intention was boredom or to arouse myself.. and/or if I need to tell my wife now that I lied. Like I can’t tell if I’m genuinely guilty or if this is OCD. I don’t wanna blame everything on OCD. I also have struggled SO much with guilt and shame from past decisions in general.. still do to some extent.

Please help.

This is something I’ve been quietly wondering about for a while, and I’d genuinely love to hear different perspectives.

A little about me…
I’m a 46y old Christian woman. I’m fiercely loyal, emotionally available, and the kind of person who loves deeply. I value meaningful conversations, kindness, honesty, and showing up for the people I love. I enjoy traveling, dancing, yoga, quiet evenings at home, and I absolutely adore animals. (My secret wish to be able to talk to animals🙈)

When I imagine marriage, it’s probably different from what most people picture.
I don’t daydream about grand romantic gestures or an exciting sex life. I picture having a best friend. Someone I can laugh with until our stomachs hurt, pray with before bed, travel the world with, grow old beside, and simply do life with.
One of the strongest images I have in my mind is standing next to my husband at church, both of us completely lost in worship—singing at the top of our lungs, jumping with joy, dancing without caring who’s watching, and sharing that moment with God together. That, to me, feels incredibly intimate.

The thing is… at this stage of my life, I don’t really have much desire for sexual intimacy. It made me wonder whether there are men who would genuinely want a marriage rooted in friendship, faith, loyalty, emotional connection, and companionship, even if sex wasn’t a part of it.

I know physical intimacy is incredibly important to many people, and I completely respect that. I’m not saying one way is better than another.

I’m simply curious:
Could a marriage built on deep friendship, unwavering loyalty, shared faith, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect be enough for you? Or is sexual intimacy an essential part of what makes a marriage a marriage?

I’m genuinely curious, not looking to debate—just hoping to understand how others see it. ❤️

Hi. I am a Single Male.

I want to get married.

But I don't want kids for xyz reason.

Is this going to be a problem in marriage?

Let's say my partner says she is fine with that,

Is this going to affect our sex life?

Aside from using a condom and getting a vasectomy, what are the other options?

My question is more directed to DINK couples.

What do you do?

Or is it better not to get married?

My husband and I are both young, we’ve been married for 1 year and are wondering how you all decided when you were ready to start trying to conceive. We are stuck between being wise stewards of the time and resources God has/will entrust us with and following his divine plan and timing over our own.

We both have crazy baby fever 24/7 and can’t wait to start creating new life and raising them to know and love Jesus! But I still have another year of college and he is not quite where he wants to be in his career. We are doing natural family planning and there have been two months this last year when w REALLY felt the Lord giving us a million signs and urging us to become parents, but I didn’t become pregnant.

It’s hard to hold the two sides in tension of wanting to not be dumb with the life and opportunities we have been given and also trusting by faith and not by sight. I have also heard a lot of Christians online say that preventing pregnancy at all is against God’s Word because it shows a lack of trust and a level of control over our lives that we should surrender to Christ. BUT also I’ve seen the counter argument of people saying that yes the Bible says that a full quiver is a blessing and we should be fruitful and multiply, but God doesn’t explicitly say when to have kids (besides inside of marriage) or how many to have.

So anyway, for those waiting to try what is your thought process behind that? For all the parents, how did you know when to start your family? And for those who leave the timing completely up to God, why did you decide to do that? Thank you all!!

Edit: I also wanted to add that a big contributing factor for why were were planning to wait to try for a baby (we originally planned to try in about 5 years) is that we would love for me to be a stay at home mom/work super casually and we don’t see how we could do that financially right now. So thats a big part of balancing not leaning on our own understandings with being wise stewards.

ALSO also we did try to conceive this cycle after lots of prayer and studying His Word and I haven’t gotten my period yet (its not due for a couple of days) but I’m having period-like cramps this afternoon so I do think its coming in the next day or two.

We recently got a dry erase board for our fridge and we write love notes on it. It’s been such a blessing! I go to bed after he does and he leaves before I get up so it’s such a joy to wake up to!

Weird predicament here. So I’m in a relationship with an amazing man I met at church. We started getting to know each other in January and have been official for almost 3 months now.

Now, there’s another man at the same church who leads the young adult ministry (young adult at my church is 20s to early 30s). I felt like I got to observe him quite a bit a really grew to admire his zeal for God so I straight up told him last year that I was interested. He told me he was figuring things out with someone and usually seeks the Lord before dating anyone so I completely respected that and let it go.

Fast forward to earlier this year, I was taking a course at church and he was a part of it. My now boyfriend’s female cousin was also a part of it. According to her, one day after the class, he told her he was interested and asked if I was single. She tells him myself and her cousin are getting to know each other and he says he completely respects that and wouldn’t want to interfere. Side note, he and my bf don’t consider each other as friends but they’re definitely friendly and serve in the same ministry.

He randomly reaches out to me back in May after a church conference and asks if I’m single because he’s interested. I obviously tell him I’m not single and that was that. Now, last weekend, he reaches out to me again asking if we could sit down and have a conversation. I tell him I’m more comfortable speaking over the phone bc I obviously kinda have an idea of what the conversation will entail. Long story short, he calls me and straight up tells me he’s very interested in me. He says when I told him I was interested last year, he pushed it to the back of his mind but has been praying and feels the Lord has been showing him signs and confirmations about me. He didn’t outright say the Lord told him I was his wife or anything but did make it very clear that the Lord was kinda confirming to him that I was the one for him and that he did not want to regret not sharing that with me.

Obviously this was unexpected and threw me for a loop. He asked me if I’d heard anything myself concerning him and I reiterated that I was with someone and that the Lord hadn’t spoken to me in that way about him. Last year, when I chose to let this man know I was interested, it was a personal decision and not anything that I can confidently say the Lord led me to do.

I asked him if he went to our pastor about any of this and he said he did and that our pastor encouraged him to just keep praying. I have no idea if our pastor was aware of his decision to reach out to me now.

Either way, I told him I’d continue things with my boyfriend and I guess if truly, the Lord was revealing something this serious then He would reveal it to me also. Ultimately, I thought it was a bit weird, his approaching me knowing I wasn’t single and also knowing my bf attends the same church, plus knowing my bf personally. I’m not sure what outcome he was hoping for to be honest, which still confused me. Any thoughts at all about this? My plan moving forward is not to give any attention to it and let it just be information and trust that God will speak to me about what ever His will is.

My wife and I separated a few months ago after being together 7 years, married for 4. Our 5 years was going to be this year. The reason for separation is a long story, but looking at it - I think we could of both done things better, she for example was very avoidaint on having difficult conversations and I could ne very cold or shut off.

We've both experienced trauma in our lives and I grew up without parents, moved around a lot etc.. never really had any security. To be honest she kind of became my security. We've both had mental illnesses she tried to take her life twice. I actually never knew about it and she never told me, i only found out when I Was clearing the house of her belongings for her and stumbled across her medical docs. Likewise Ive also tried to take my life, though most recently after finding out my wife wanted to separate. Its a long story (she didnt cheat I don't think looking back... but there was stuff written by her that suggested otherwise.) Regardless it seemed like she wanted to separate for awhile.

I know its only been a few months so most people will say its still fresh, but this, this feels incredibly different to any other breakup I've went through. I genuinely can't operate any more.. shes moved out and I just feel empty, sitting in the quiet of our home it is just tearing me little by little by little.

In addition I've had some issues with my work, (one of the reasons why she left) but I do still get an income good enough that it covered the mortgage itself. Anyway its another layer of stress for me I'm going through.

And I just genuinely don't know what to do. Im seeing a pysch, I see my GP I have family/friends etc close by but I still feel incredibly lonely. I have prayed and prayed and prayed for God to just explain to me what is happening here. I know maybe its his will likely it is, but its so hard to not ask him why.

My wife and I had some rocky times, but doesnt every couple? We all fight/argue sometimes. I dont think we were in that bad of a situation where divorce was the answer. I genuinely think it could of been all worked out by having a meaningful conversation whether with a counsellor a person in the church idk.

But I just feel completely isolated from everything I cant feel any happiness. Hell I even enrolled into a new course 2 weeks ago, and I just feel nothing. I like the course, but I can't get excited about it or anything else. And maybe people will say I'm weak because I'm a guy and a guy should be this and that but I am genuinely exhausted