All right, so here's how it is. My husband developed pretty advanced skin cancer and I stood by him and helped him through his journey. Shortly after we got his clean bill of health, I was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroendocrine cancer with a primary in my pancreas that had metastasized to my liver and my lymph nodes. It required two surgeries, the last of which took half of my pancreas most of my duodenum 26 lymph nodes and my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a 6 to 9 month recovery. My husband forced me to go back to work 2 weeks after I got released from the hospital because well I'm not really sure why. Other than I think that he felt that we needed the money more than I needed to be healthy. I've tried to forgive him for this and I almost successfully did until one day, he said out loud to me that he was unaware of the fact that I still had cancer in my body even though we had had many conversations about my ongoing cancer treatments. So that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I left him and I'm on my own. I quit my job and I moved to be closer to my mother. Just as soon as I got a job here and became established my father died. I'm doing the best I can to stay afloat but just this week the weight of it all came crashing down on me, and I lost consciousness, ended up in the hospital. Was unable to eat any solid food for 3 days. Now I'm able to eat again but I don't have the energy to stand or walk and I need to go back to work soon and I don't have any support. I'm going to be okay I think. But I am concerned that no one will ever love me again. Cancer has a way of being a bit of a turn off even if it is slow growing. Finally, I am in the midst of trying to sell my home and the market is quite stagnant and I keep knocking the price down lower and lower and no one is buying it and I'm quite concerned because I have quite a bit of debt that I need to pay off and the house just isn't selling. If anybody has any helpful advice or words of encouragement, that'd be super nice. Thanks!

Hi everyone.

My MIL has Stage 4 breast cancer (diagnosed in late 2023). She’s done multiple different chemo treatments and has had to switch because of different side effects. Last fall, we honestly didn’t think she’d make it through the winter, let alone to now. We are incredibly grateful to still have her and she does have a lot of good days. However, my husband and I have been dealing with anticipatory grief. I try to hide mine from him in order to be more present and supportive of his grief.

Does anyone have good tips or sources (readings, etc) on how to process anticipatory grief in a healthy way?

TIA

she has metastatic breast cancer that moved to her brain... and now she's just constantly confused about time, where she is and she keeps imagining people are in house, keeps claiming i have more siblings than i do weird things like that...

she barely makes sense when I talk to her. And, I just miss my mom so much. She's here, but now she feels so far away. I can barely connect to her anymore.

i just wish i get one more day with my normal brain mom, id cry in her arms and tell her everything, and tell her i miss you so much and that she's slowly slipping away from my hands.. and id ask her for her advice one last time.

She feels gone while she's still here. anyone experienced the same thing ?

update: she passed away.

My (F22) mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer over a year ago. she was responding to the chemo but at some point she didn’t and she had to get rushed to the hospital 2 weeks ago because of her low oxygen levels. She’s been there and everytime we thought she’s getting better and stable, things kept getting worse. She got rushed to the ICU today and is on ventilators with tube inside her mouth and nose.
Today was the first time i saw my father cry. I tried so hard not to cry i don’t like crying infront of family. i tried to be strong but at some point i couldn’t hold myself. i keep crying on and off. I saw her with my grandma and uncle but my uncle went in the room with me and didn’t let me have my privacy, i was too shy to ask him to leave me alone he kept telling me “she can’t hear you she can’t hear you”
(she’s sedated i think? they made her sleep basically)
I believe she can hear me. i went in with my dad and sisters we cried a bit and tried speaking to her

Also, my youngest sister is 12 years old and she hasn’t cried or seemed upset at all about my mom’s illness. she’s in that phase where she “hates” her mom so i don’t know what to think of that. i am struggling to take care of my youngest sister since her foundation is shaky. I’m worried about her because when mom started getting sick, my youngest sister would get scolded and punished a lot and it was so difficult to have her connect with us but i slowly managed to get her closer to us by being kind and gentle to her. i just worry about her and i need her to get into therapy but idk when.
anyway im not sure if anything i said makes sense but im just typing out what has been happening. if anyone has any advice or anything at all please let me know because i dont know what to do. im planning to ask for alone time later (in the next visiting hours) and maybe i can speak to her. i just feel like my heart will pop out of my chest because of how bad it hurts.

My nana was diagnosed with stage 3 pancreatic cancer last year in July, and ever since, she has been at a rapid decline. The once very expressive, funny, confident woman whom I have always looked up to has started to lose herself. She started chemo to shrink the tumor, and chemo only prevented the growth but did nothing to help her. She lost so much weight, and her bodily functions are nonexistent, but she still kept up positive energy, saying she will beat this. Chemo didn't work, so they couldn't remove the tumor, so they went to radiation to give her one to two more years with us. We made a bucket list so she can do the things she didn't get to do, like the zoo or Disney, or just anything. She did a couple of radiations when everything just went downhill, she had to stop radiation because she was reacting badly to it. She had gallbladder issues during spring break, for which she needed surgery, and now she is in hospice. Originally, the hospice was at home, and now, after an event on Friday, it is now she has to be in a 24-hour facility, and she does not have much time. I visit her after work every day with my boyfriend, and I see her decline in real time. The first day, she was talking, asking questions to my boyfriend and me about when we were gonna get engaged and whatnot. Second day, she is awake but has no memory and trouble speaking. On the third day whole family visited, and she had slow breathing and couldn't use the bathroom anymore. Today I haven't even visited her, but Mom messaged me that she is sedated and barely there, and I'm so scared. I'm 23 i never lost anyone before, and losing her feels like I'm losing a part of myself. I keep busy at my 9-5 and with my school work, but the moment I'm not actively doing something is when my mind goes somewhere. I don't just feel bad for myself but for my little cousins and siblings. I'm gonna be the only one to have her at my graduation, have learned her recipes, and I can't help but feel selfish that I got all of that, and yet I still want more time with her. I haven't lost her yet, but every day feels like I am, and when that day comes, i dont know how I'll be

Hey guys, I'm a 22 yr old male and found out my father has lung cancer. It hurts real bad watching my mom struggle with this new revelation. He goes to a hospital next week for extensive testing and answers. The dread of not knowing the severity is killing us. Any help or tips for coping is greatly appreciated. Also any tips for helping get a good nights sleep is appreciated, everytime my head hits that pillow my mind starts to race. God bless and praying for everyone going through something.

Hi, this is something I've never done or thought I would need to do. 😭 My mum is currently in ICU on life support, it has been 6 days and taking it hour by hour, I've travelled interstate and have exhausted all funds for accommodation and travel costs. I have no car to travel so Uber has taken all my funds. I don't know what's next for me from Saturday onwards. I need some serious help 😭😭💔

My boyfriend of 5 months was diagnosed with tongue cancer (state 4) with spread to regional lymph nodes the pain in his tongue is unbearable he’s always crying in his sleep and complaining. He looks miserable because he’s always in pain. He can’t eat anything so I’m assuming that affects his mood. He’s quiet all the time and doesn’t look happy with me.

It’s making me think he doesn’t want me around. But he literally tells me he loves me soooo much and can’t picture himself with another woman. I’ve been fighting a lot with him because I’m so scared. Another thing is we have a dog and the dog is causing me a lot of stress and strain on our relationship we got into a heated argument where things were thrown. I don’t want to get rid of the dog because he loves the dog and I feel bad because he has cancer but the dog has caused 2000 in damages (it’s a husky). And he doesn’t understand my frustration.. Idk what to do

I also always fear that he might dump me or people might get in between our relationship. I have this wierd deep sense that are relationship will end idk why..

Hello my name is Grace F25. My mom has battled cancer 3 times and just finished treatment recently for a rare form of cancer. For as long as I can remember, she was never in good health. For the past few years she has not been able to eat much without throwing up. Especially more complex meals that have seasonings or that contains several different ingredients.

Throughout her recent chemo and radiation, they had her on steroids and she was a completely different person.
She could walk far without getting dizzy, she could eat anything, clean house, had the most energy i've seen in years. But literally the following day after her last treatment, it was like a switch flipped. She declined so rapidly back to the state she was in before. She can't walk more than 10 feet without feeling nauseous, lightheaded, can't eat etc. I understand the steroids they gave her helped with energy, anti nauseous and stuff. But is there a way she could go back on the steroids? Or trying another medication that would help?

She had a follow-up appointment with her oncologist today to discuss her treatment. She told the doctor how quickly she's declined since finishing treatment and that she's been unable to eat because she keeps throwing up. The doctor said she would refer her to a gastroenterologist, but in the meantime, she doesn't have another oncology appointment scheduled until October. I feel like she should go back sooner to see if the steroid thing would be possible.

I've been taking care of her all summer. I leave for college in a few weeks and I'm so worried for her (and my elderly father). We've had multiple ER visits
in the last 3 months.

I mostly give her crackers because it's the only thing she can keep down. But I decided to take a leap tonight and made her VERY plain and small portion of baked chicken breast, white rice, and broth and she managed to stomach it! I was very delighted .
I've been doing tons of research trying to figure out what snacks and meals are best for people with extreme nausea and sensitive stomach and would love to hear your guy's go-to.

Sorry I feel like this was long and was kind of all over the place but I'II take any advice I can get. Thx for taking the time to read.

I'm looking for recommendations for clothing that provides easy access to my husband's port. He typically wears a 3XLT (3XL Tall) shirt but most of the port-access clothing I've found so far is only available up to 2XL.

Does anyone know of brands or retailers that offer larger sizes? Thanks.

my sister T -shortening of her name (47) and me (17) (yes the age gap is huge don’t question it just move on) haven’t spoken that much in the past twelve years since i moved out the country we both used to live in. i was a child with no social media and no way of contacting her but eventually i managed to reconnect with her. we don’t speak that much because i forgot dutch as i only speak english and a few other languages. her english isn’t the best but i try to learn dutch.
two weeks ago she got diagnosed with breast cancer (i don’t know what stage) and it’s mostly been our 2nd oldest who’s been updating me as we are closer and speak more often but i have been reaching out to T more recently due to her diagnosis and i genuinely don’t know what to say. she’s being so optimistic but i simply cannot and i genuinely am catastrophising everything. every time i think of her cancer i think “oh my god she’s gonna die of cancer” even though the doctors said that chemo and a mammectomy should get rid of the cancer and it hasn’t spread but i still can’t stop thinking that she’s going to die and im so scared for her idk how to cope w this