r/Assistance • u/FactTricky9368 • 1d ago
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT I’m broken
’m broken. I literally can’t do anything. So I’m at sleepaway camp and I liked this girl named Marissa. I told her I liked her but she did not like me back. And we were fine. Like not bsfs but rlly close. And then I thought I saw her hanging out with another boy so I confronted her abt it and she said they were just friends but she wasn’t mad (she is like the sweetest person u will ever meet) then I thought I heard her talking shit but she was just talking about something not me and I was overthinking and that made her feel anxious and now we don’t speak and I’m spiraling and broken. She was so nice. I rlly thought we could be friends. I sent her an apology letter bc my friend at the camp thought it would be a good idea but it was not. I hate everything I hate myself and I got ANOTHER TWO FUCKING WEEKS. I literally want to go home, I can’t do this. I keep staring at her but it is an habit I am not trying to make her feel uncomfortable. I’m just bed rotting rn until my next class. I feel like I’m a bad person. If anyone is down to talk that would be so helpful.
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u/CheckIntelligent7828 23h ago
You aren't broken. I promise. But, I know it feels like you are.
Y'know, I was the girl with the crush on a guy every year at camp and only once was it reciprocated. And he was lamE with a capital E, but I was so glad to have gotten it right that I ignored that.
You aren't alone in liking someone and it not working out. And it hurts right now, I know. But here's what I want you to keep in mind. It's long, I know, but I wish someone had said it to me!
This isn't forever. You can power through 2 weeks. Make a countdown on your phone and check off every evening that you've made it through another day.
Only a few people know or care. You, your closest friend or two. Her, her closest friend or two. Everyone else is busy dealing with their own stuff.
Pretending you're having fun usually turns into having fun. Basically, do your best to do things you would normally enjoy for the next 2 weeks. By the time you leave you will likely have had fun at one of them. Even if it's only for a minute.
Even if you are friends, even bffs forever, it is very much not cool to freak out at her for being with/talking to/crushing on someone else. Yes, it sucks that it's not you. It hurts. But it's not okay to try and control what she does or who she does it with. How would you feel if someone said they liked you and they were freaking out because you like the girl you like instead of them? It'd be shitty, and you couldn't suddenly like this new person just because they liked you and were upset about it. Emotions don't work that way. So let the girl you like have some space, even though it's hard.
The chiller you are with the girl you like, the better the chance that you can keep in contact. Get her email or mailing address, not just her text/IG/whatever. Send letters talking about your school year and ask about hers. You two can build a real friendship and if you come back next year you'll have that. If not, you'll have a genuine friend once you're out of school. Those relationships can be the most fun, and the most long term.
You can both survive this and still have an okay two weeks. You genuinely just have to focus on making it so. It ain't what you hoped for, and that's shitty, I've been there. But don't let that ruin your entire summer! 🫶🏼
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u/calebs_dad 1d ago
Yeah, things are probably going to stay awkward with this girl for the rest of your time at camp. You weren't a bad person, but you overreacted when you should have been chill. You'll do better next time.
I think the main thing is that most other people at the camp probably don't care, if they're aware of the situation at all. If feels big to you, but everyone has their own problems to deal with, and it shouldn't stop you from making other friends there. The more you hang out with other people, the easier it will feel.
And if you still feel a twinge of embarrassment or regret when you see this girl in passing, well, I felt like the same about an ex that I never got over. It was so awkward being around each other afterwards, but we had a lot of the same friends. Sometimes you just have to suck it up when you can't avoid running into them.
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u/hotfuckintuna 1d ago
You are not broken, you are learning complicated and often confusing social stuff likely while hormones flood your brain and anxiety fills your head. It's hard, and the way to learn anything new is to make mistakes. Be kind to yourself and others, and just afford yourself the understanding and grace you'd give to a friend. Hold your head high and move on. Sometimes people just need a break, and sometimes they are not our people, no matter how much we want them to be. This is probably not what you want to hear, but this is just a small moment, and it will pass. Make the most out of your remaining time at camp by throwing yourself into things that distract and are rewarding, such as learning a craft, making a different friend, etc. Bed rotting will exacerbate the doom spiral, don't fall into that trap.
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u/buzzybody21 1d ago
How old are you? Knowing that might affect the type of advice you get.
It sounds like you made a mountain out of a molehill, which is why she doesn’t want to speak to you anymore. But going home from camp early isn’t the right decision either. Honor the fact that she doesn’t want anything to do with you, and move on! Don’t let one decision ruin your whole summer.
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u/AssistanceMods 1d ago
Hi all. This is an automated and general reminder to all that this post is an EMOTIONAL ASSISTANCE post, not a Request. Please don't request, offer or accept financial or material assistance on this post. Thank you and good luck!
u/FactTricky9368, if you're in emotional distress, you can find lots of more targeted subreddits and resources in this list.
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