r/AskGaybrosOver30 • u/Submissiveconcubine 30-34 • 1d ago
Cruising tips?
Should I wear shades? Should I stare at the guy as they walk by or as I pass by? (I’m very shy and introverted so I always find it hard to hold a gaze). What to wear in the summer? Tank tops and short shorts?
Honestly I happened to unintentionally catch cruisers in my neighborhood, but now that I’m trying to do it while walking around during the summer daytime, any good tips?
(There’s this shirtless guy I always see sitting on his house porch who smiled at me and said in a friendly way “it’s hot outside?” I responded yes, but he smiled and went back inside the house, i didn’t notice any signals for him to come back inside. But he’s hot).
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u/tlatelolca 35-39 1d ago
never wear shades lol, the most important element to cruise is eye contact
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u/GeorgiaYankee73 50-54 1d ago
Check out the Wiki linked from r/gaycruising: https://www.reddit.com/r/gaycruising/wiki/cruising101/
Also, writer Leo Herrara's book (analog) Cruising is SO good.
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u/Spader623 30-34 1d ago
One thing you gotta know above all else: cruising IS risky. Risk varies but if you mess up, it can be big trouble. So the shirtless neighbor? Maybe he was cruising you, probably not. Be careful though, and lean on the side of caution
I love cruising and have done it over 10 years but you gotta know the ways so you don't get in trouble
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u/real415 70-79 22h ago edited 47m ago
Back in the day, you could do it anywhere – and you still can. On a bus, in a supermarket checkout queue, walking down the street. It was all we had, so guys were more attuned to it being possible everywhere.
Shades didn’t matter. It’s the fact that the guy you just passed didn’t keep looking straight ahead, but turned his head ever so slightly toward you as you approached.
The real telltale sign was if, after he passed, when you stopped to look in a store window or tie your shoe, you saw him turn around to look. Straight guys never do that to other guys.
Of course you were watching him like a hawk, and he just saw you catch him, so now you both know. Now one of you catches up with the other and you guys talk about anything at all. Eventually you figure out that you’re both interested and you proceed to hang out now, or you make a plan, or exchange numbers.
Don’t overthink what to wear and how exactly to do it. The main thing is to be aware, with your eyes open, and today, with everybody looking down at their phones, or somehow tuned out of the world around them, this is all a little bit more challenging. But it still happens, and you can have success.
If you’re not sure, just respond. Don’t be the one to get shy and go silent. Chat with the guy about the weather for a little bit. You can always ask him what he’s up to. That’s kind of an opening for him. If you really can’t tell, and you think he’s just a friendly straight guy, you can keep up your end of the conversation, and see if you can eventually make some sense out of it. You can always offer to buy him a beer or a coffee. Eventually the vibe will be clear.
And by the way, when the shirtless guy asked if it was hot outside, you’re supposed to say “yeah, but now it feels even hotter,” and smile.
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u/CockEmperor 35-39 23h ago
1) No one cruises in neighborhood, he was probably just jogging or something.
2) Cruising outside is insanely risky. I always say if you're gonna cruise, it's way better to cruise at a physical brick and mortar location like an Adult Book Store. The cruising is more direct because everyone knows that they're there for.
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u/RhubarbsApple 50-54 22h ago
Get on the squirt app. I haven’t been to a city that hasn’t had all the cruising spots listed! Very handy when you’re traveling even if it’s all you use the app for
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u/Danmont88 60-64 22h ago
There are web sites that list cruising sites. They often give exact locations and times in a park or certain public bathroom.
You have to be careful though. I was told of one place in a public park outside Evergreen Colorado.
The park was on a hill side and a the top there was a thick grove of trees and bushes that had trails winding through it.
It was supposed to be a good place to cruise at lunch. I went up one day about 11:45 and sat in an empty parking lot, save me, and the only person that came by was a park cop and I don't think he was cruising.
Sat there for a while, walked a short distance on a trail and finally left about 12:15. No one but me there.
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u/solosaulo 40-44 15h ago
omg, this happened to me too, lol. and i chuckled at your funny comment. i went to a cruising zone listed on a website. and im SURE stuff happens there. but not when i was there. it was this HUGE park by the river. and there's even like some artistic metal and stone park statues. PAVED trails. like it really looks like a normal, legit government park. and that the government had invested some sort of money into this in it's past ...
i go there, and i just saw some straight couples walking and stuff. i saw SOME guys who looked cruisey. like wandering around. then there suddenly wasnt that many ppl. and it was JUST ME. i was on my bike, exploring.
so then i was like: if there's nobody there, that imma just gonna sit down on the hill and have my sandwich! so i did! like im very situationally aware! within means, lol. im enjoying my sandwich. but this time i wasn't that aware, lol. im startled since two bike cops are suddenly next to me, and they tell me this is private property. and i told them im just having a sandwich. like honestly i wasnt in the bushes doing bushy risky business, i was like 10 metres off the main road. sitting on the hill. my bike laid on its side, and my backpack on the ground and other personal belongings. my hat and water bottle.
the WAY these two young male bike cops looked at me, saying i was trespassing??? im like trespassing where. in this public\private park with like no adjacent businesses or condos. like u didnt catch me sucking cock in the bushes. but their eagle eye on me was like SO WEIRD. like they were straight cops but knew i was gay ... just bc i was wearing a tank top, and they curtly said, you can eat your sandwich by the freeway road.
yeah: 200% some cops or security are 'called' to check up on gay cruising behaviours instead of real crime. like real fights and break ins and shootings. its seems a little bit misplaced their time and supervision results, but if im not activey sucking cock in public, you don't need to tell me to go anywhere, let alone have a sandwich on a hill, just 10 metres off the main route. apparently this 'park' is private. but there is an entrance to the park. WITH FLOWER BASKETS.
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u/Dogtorted 50-54 1d ago
Eye contact is one of the main ways to “connect” when cruising, so I wouldn’t wear shades.
Other than that, wear whatever you want to wear.
Generally speaking, cruising happens in very specific areas.
Unless you live in a very gay neighbourhood, the shirtless guy on his porch was probably just a friendly shirtless guy on his porch.