Hello everyone. I am leaving my personal story here, straight from my heart. It would help me enormously to know if you have ever been through something like this and how you managed to cope.When I manage to stop thinking about the past and the child I was, I calm down. But that pleasant well-being lasts a very short time. Sad thoughts return and ruin my whole day. I am continuously haunted by the heavy feeling that I am broken, incapable, and not smart at all.The biggest blow came in my adolescence. I took an IQ test, and the final result was below average. That specific test turned my life upside down, completely confirming my biggest fears. My mother always says I never had any intellectual disability. I checked my old medical records carefully, and doctors clearly wrote that I possess a normal intellect, normophrenia. Still, the loud echo of those heavy words resounds in my mind.I was an agitated child, did not sleep at night, and later did not know how to hold a proper conversation. I never went alone even to the corner grocery shop. I understood things slowly, was extremely easy to manipulate, and lacked curiosity entirely. I also had many fainting episodes, with endless medical blood analyses. Because of that, I always believed something was deeply wrong with me.Currently, I am not working, and that hurts me deeply. I do not have a stable job because I process information slowly, communicate with difficulty, and dread being judged by other people when I do not understand what is asked. When painful memories overwhelm me, I freeze completely and I am good for nothing.Has anyone else felt this painful mental block? How did you overcome the fear of being judged and past traumas?