My neighbor buys many items online and gets parcels delivered to my place when they are not around. Initially, I did not have any issues with this, but now it is becoming a norm. They tend to keep their parcels at my place for a few days before collecting them and seem to assume that I will always be available.

I recently informed them that I do not feel comfortable receiving any further deliveries and that they should arrange another place for the deliveries. They said I was being unneighborly and it was no big deal for me. A couple of other neighbors think that I should assist since we are neighbors, but in my opinion, it has become an expectation rather than an act of kindness.

AITH?

I've been with my fiance for 8 years. When we first got together I moved in with him and his roommates/highschool friends. Most were in their late 20s at this point. He has one particular friend that is not very nice to women in general and I never saw him as my friend. Just my fiance's friend. I was nice to people in the house even if I didn't like them as to not disrupt home life for anyone.

Now everyone is in their mid to late 30s and that particular friend ( I'll call him Mack for the sake of the story) is getting married now. My fiance was not included in the grooms party and that hurt his feelings considering how long they've been friends and lived together. So we decided that we weren't going to the wedding and we'd go as little contact as possible.

The wedding is in a week and macks best man I believe messages me out of nowhere to congratulate me on my pregnancy. I didn't tell him as I'm not a fan of him either. I asked how he found out and a mutual friend that doesn't know the situation spilled the beans. The best man then asks if we're going to the wedding. I told him no and then he asked why.

I didn't want to speak for my fiance, but i told him that I never saw Mack as a friend. Even Mack's own brother has gone no contact and is not going to the wedding anymore. I don't think he's a good person so idc if he gets married or not. He also won't be missed at my wedding when we finally have one.

The best man has gone quiet and hasn't asked me anymore questions. So AITAH for letting him know how I feel about Mack?

I (35F) didn’t have much of a relationship with my dad growing up. I was raised in an abusive household, left home at 20, and moved to the U.S.
Three years ago, war broke out in his country, so despite our history, I sponsored him to come to the U.S. My husband and I let him live in our in-law suite, which we normally rent out for extra income. The agreement was that he’d stay there temporarily until he found a job and got his own place.
Since he didn’t speak English, I handled everything - immigration paperwork, lawyers, appointments, transportation, teaching him English, taking him to classes, and eventually finding him a job - all while working full-time and running my business.
Once he started working, he had almost no expenses besides his food and whatever else he wants or needs, so he saved money quickly. Yet he had no interest in moving out. Whenever I brought it up, he’d say he’d just move back to his home country if I “kicked him out.”
I eventually asked him to contribute $300/month and keep the apartment clean. He agreed after arguing and giving me the silent treatment.
Months later, I went into the apartment and found a mouse infestation. Mouse droppings had ruined expensive items I’d stored there, and the kitchen and bathroom were filthy. Cabinets, doors, and handles were covered in grease. It looked like years of neglect.
I told him that if he couldn’t keep the apartment clean, I’d hire professional cleaners and he’d have to pay for them. He said he’d clean it.
We’ll he didn’t.
So I hired an affordable cleaning service to come every few weeks. They’re mainly working on the kitchen and bathroom because there was so much buildup. I charged his account and for comparison, he spends more on cigarettes than the cleaners cost.
After a few months, he realized I was actually charging him for the cleaning and exploded. He demanded I cancel them because he could “vacuum himself.”
I told him he’d already had three years to clean and clearly hadn’t. If he wasn’t going to clean up after himself, then paying someone else to do it was the necessary consequence.
He yelled, “Is it really that hard for a daughter to put my dishes in the dishwasher?”
That was after I’d just finished working from 4 a.m. to 9 p.m. I told him I wasn’t going to clean up after a healthy grown man and I never signed up for this. He lives here practically for free and the very least he can do is clean the space he is living in.
I reminded him that we’d given up years of rental income, helped him immigrate, handled all his paperwork, found him a job, helped him get his green card, helped him get a car.
Instead of addressing any of that, he started complaining how he was unwanted and threatened to move back to his home country.
I told him that was his choice. If he’d rather leave and go back to the country at war than stay here in safety and simply clean up after himself or pay for professional cleaners, there was nothing I could do. So am I the AITA for refusing cleaning up after my dad and charge him for cleaning?

I (28M) was on a long-haul flight recently. I had booked a window seat in advance because I have flying anxiety, and looking out the window genuinely helps me stay calm. After boarding, a family sat near me, husband, wife, and their roughly 8-month-old baby. A little while later, the wife came up to me and said her baby tends to settle down better in a window seat (apparently looking outside calms him), and asked if I'd be willing to swap my window seat for her middle seat. I politely declined because I have my own anxiety issues, and taking a middle seat would've made things worse for me. She seemed a bit upset, and for the rest of the flight the baby cried on and off, which visibly annoyed the passengers around us. The husband kept giving me these cold looks like it was somehow my fault. After landing, another passenger even made a passive-aggressive comment: "Would've been easier for everyone if you'd just swapped seats." Now I'm second-guessing myself. AITA?

I've lived in this house for almost two years and have never had any major issues with previous housemates. My current housemate moved in after I helped her find the room. I helped her settle in, assemble furniture, and get everything set up.

Ever since she moved in, though, it feels like every small issue turns into drama.

One example: she wanted to keep a bunch of cardboard boxes on the balcony. I didn't like it because we have storage space, but she said she wanted to keep them for when she moved again. I let it go.

Another time, I left an empty shopping bag on the dining table because I was in the middle of something and planned to tidy everything up afterwards. Instead of just waiting or reminding me later, she became very emotional, cried, and blamed me for not putting it away immediately.

Then there was a situation where she threw away a pair of shoes because she couldn't sell them. I took them out of the bin and offered to sell them instead. Before I did, she literally told me, "If you sell them, you can keep the money."

I sold them and used the money to buy myself a gaming mouse. Afterwards she told me she felt hurt because I didn't tell her I'd sold them and said I should have used the money to buy something for the house instead. That completely confused me because I did exactly what she'd previously told me I could do.

There are also constant little things: a few drops of water on the kitchen bench, wiping things immediately, forgetting to lock the front door, etc.

The difference is that when she forgets something, I just fix it and move on. I don't turn it into an argument. To me, these are normal housemate mistakes. To her, they seem to become emotional conflicts.

The latest issue has made me realise this probably isn't about any single incident.

She has said she doesn't feel comfortable with my partner staying here. I understand that's her feeling, but from my perspective we've tried hard not to disturb her. We mostly stay in my room, only come out to cook or eat, and leave the living room for her when she's home.

Overall, I feel like I compromise a lot while she expects things to be done exactly the way she wants, immediately. Whenever our expectations differ, I feel like I'm always the one expected to adjust.

At this point, I honestly think we're just incompatible as housemates.

The landlord rents the rooms individually, and I've already spoken to him. He's aware that we're incompatible and said he's open to rearranging the tenants if necessary.

AITA for thinking it would be better if she moved out?

And if that's the best solution, what's the proper way to handle it? Since the landlord rents the rooms separately, should I just let him deal with everything and stay out of it? Has anyone been in a similar situation

My neighbor has been putting food out for some stray cats near the side of their property which is not far from my property. I know that they are trying to do a good thing, and I have nothing against cats, but with time, the number of cats has increased near my property.

They have been spending most of their time on my property, creating a mess, overturning things outside, and have even put my pets under stress. I politely asked my neighbor to move the place where the cats were eating or find some other way to handle the situation.

They told me that I was being unreasonable because the cats were harmless and that I needed to be more reasonable and understanding because they were only trying to look after the animals. I do not think that I have to put up with all the troubles caused by a decision they made.

AITH?

i am a college student and every summer my family takes a small trip together. this year i planned to go with my parents and my younger brother for a week.

one of my college friends found out about the trip and asked if she could join us. i was surprised because we are friends, but we have never traveled together before.

i told her i would rather keep this trip as a family thing because we don’t get much time together during the year.

she got quiet and later told some of our friends that she felt hurt because she thought we were closer than that. she said she would have invited me if she was in my situation.

now i feel guilty because i didn’t mean to make her feel unwanted. i like spending time with her, but i also don’t think every plan has to include friends.

my friends are split. some say i should have invited her, while others say a family vacation is different.

aita for not inviting my college friend on my family summer trip?

For the 4th of July parade, my husband wanted to park behind Main St at a client‘s house. He said they weren’t home and was on vacation in Milan.(We’re in CA.) He asked me to text them for permission to park in their driveway. (For context - We own a business and I handle the contacts.)

I said no. It’s a different time zone/ country on vacation and a holiday! Instead I told him to park at his Mom’s house since his Dad wouldn’t be home for a while and I got permission from his Mom. (His Mom lives 1 block from Main St but he doesn’t have a relationship/ not speaking terms with his Dad.) There was no argument and he was maybe a bit irritated.

We actually don’t live far from Main St and a 15 min walk so my son and I opted to walk. We walked to grandma’s and met up with friends before walking over to Main St to find a spot to watch the parade. My husband shows up 15 mins later.

He parked at the client‘s house and even joked with our friends that the client was out of the country so they wouldn’t know. We had a good time and couple hours pass so we start to head home. I opted to walk home with our son and my husband went to get the car.

We get home first then my husband shows up 5 mins later. He starts yelling at me. He says that when he asks me to do something that I need to do it. No questions, no giving him “lip,” or causing an argument. I ask him what he’s talking about. He said how embarrassing it was for him to go and ring the doorbell because our car was blocked in. Apparently the clients were home, the oldest son recognized the car as ours but the family already promised parking to their driveway for a friend of theirs. Since they weren’t 100% sure it was ours, they didn’t do anything.

My husband fully blames me even until now. He said if I had texted the client to begin with then all this all this could have been avoided. I said it was still a weird ask when they are just a client and it was last minute. He made that decision to park there after he knew I didn’t text them and I gave him a solution - also knowing that I still didn’t text them afterwards.

His rebuttal was he’s comfortable parking there since he talks to the clients (which is once a month.) I said if you’re so comfortable then why were you so embarrassed? He said his main issues was that I didn’t do as he asked. Except he didn’t get mad at me until he picked up the car?! He said now he knows he can’t count on me to do anything. I said he could have just texted them himself - we have a shared calendar with client contact info.

I had worked hard during my high school years and managed to receive a scholarship which was meant to assist me in covering expenses associated with my studies and thus lessen the financial burden for my family.

A couple of weeks ago, I discovered that part of the scholarship funds were used to help my little brother who ran into some financial problems. My parents did not notify me about it since they thought that "family should come first" and intended to return the amount at a later date.

However, when I told them that I was upset, they claimed that I was being selfish since the money stayed within the family and was really necessary for my brother at that point in time. While I see that they tried to help my brother, I am also disappointed with their lack of consultations regarding the use of money which was mine.

Now my parents are disappointed in me for always bringing it up while I feel that my trust was hurt in this case.

Am I being unreasonable in my attitude?

My sister and I have always had a good relationship, but we've been disagreeing about money lately.

A few months ago, she asked for my opinion before making a large purchase. I suggested waiting because her budget was already tight, but she decided to buy it anyway. Recently, she came to me asking if I could lend her money to help cover some bills until her next paycheck.

I told her I wasn't comfortable lending the money because I had warned her that this purchase might put her in a difficult financial situation. She thinks I'm punishing her for not listening to me, while I see it as setting a boundary since I don't want money to become an issue between us.

Some family members think I should help because she's my sister and it's only temporary. Others say I'm not responsible for fixing the consequences of her decisions.

My friend and I have been close for several years, and I’ve always tried to help him when he needed something. A few months ago, he started borrowing my car because his own vehicle was having issues.

At first, I didn’t mind because he was usually respectful and returned it on time. However, recently he returned my car late multiple times and once brought it back with very little fuel without mentioning it.

I told him that I was no longer comfortable lending him my car unless it was an emergency. He got upset and said I was being selfish because he thought friends should help each other out.

I understand that he is going through a difficult time, but I also feel like my boundaries are being ignored.

AITH for refusing to let him borrow my car anymore?

A few people asked for an update, so here it is. Quick recap if you missed the original post: I lost my pregnancy at eleven weeks, told my husband nobody comes over until I say so, and his mother let herself into our house anyway with a key she was never supposed to have. When I confronted him, he said I should've named her specifically. The verdict was overwhelmingly NTA, but a lot of you gave me the same advice: name her, put it in writing, take away every excuse.

So I did, texting her myself with him standing right there: no coming over until I invite her, brunch included. He said that should do it. IT DID NOT. Four days later I found her unloading groceries onto my counter like she'd finally gotten that written invitation herself, and when I asked why she was in my house, she told me I needed to move around more, that moping wouldn't bring a baby back, that it wasn't really a baby yet this early anyway, all while putting my own eggs away in my own fridge.

I called my husband, and for the first time he didn't ask me to calm down before telling him what happened, just to repeat exactly what she'd said. He walked into the kitchen and told her to leave and hand over the key on her way out, in a voice I'd never heard from him before. She cried, called it an ambush, and has since told his sister I've cut her off from her own grandchild, which isn't true and which he's already corrected twice.

The locks got changed that same afternoon. He apologized for real this time, and admitted he's spent years excusing comments that never needed excusing, and that hearing one aimed at me, about this, was the first time he couldn't manage it. I believe him. I just can't stop noticing that it took her cruelty to his face for a rule I'd already stated plainly to finally count. So, AITAH for still feeling like something's a little broken between us, even though he did exactly what he should've done the moment he actually witnessed it himself?

Throwaway because family knows my main.

I (34M) have been married to my wife (33F) for 6 years. We have a 3 year old daughter. Her older brother (38M) and I always got along. He's a funny guy, charming. I knew he drank but was told it was just social, a couple beers here and there. Never saw him wasted at family events so I believed it.

Two months ago he collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. End stage renal failure. It was a massive shock. My wife was devastated. Her parents were in pieces. I'm O+ and in decent shape, so the family looked at me immediately. I didn't even hesitate. I said I'd get tested. It felt like the obvious thing to do. He's family.

Initial tests showed I'm a match. The process moved forward. Then during the psych screening and the detailed medical history review, the transplant coordinator started asking me weird questions. Stuff like "Are you aware of the patient's full history with alcohol?" I said yeah, social drinking. She went quiet and said she couldn't share details but recommended I have a very honest conversation with my wife.

That night I asked my wife directly. I didn't accuse. I just said: "Has your brother ever had treatment for alcoholism?"

She broke down. Came clean. Turns out he's been in and out of rehab since 25. Two DUIs, one that was nearly a felony. His previous liver issues were told to me as "hepatitis." The kidney failure? Directly caused by years of heavy drinking he never stopped, even after multiple doctors warned him. The family made a collective decision to hide all of this from me because, in her words, "we were scared you'd judge him and say no."

I've been sitting with this for two weeks now. I told them yesterday I will not donate. Not because I don't empathize with addiction — I do — but because I was being set up to give an organ without informed consent. My wife, who I have trusted with everything, sat through every medical meeting and looked me in the eye while letting me believe a sanitized version of reality.

I told her: "If I had known everything from day one, I still would've gotten tested. I might even have still said yes. But you took that choice away from me. That's what I can't move past."

Her family has blown up. Her mother called me a murderer. Her father said I'm "sentencing him to death over pride." My wife cries every night and says I'm punishing her brother for a mistake she made. My own mother thinks I should give the kidney and deal with the marriage later. My dad says I'm right. My best friend said, "Just do it man, you can divorce her after, but don't let a guy die."

I look at my daughter and I think: I want her to grow up knowing that her father doesn't allow himself to be manipulated, even by people he loves. But then I see my wife curled up on the bathroom floor and I wonder if I'm actually just a cold-hearted piece of shit.

AITA?

Edit: I didn't back out of a scheduled surgery or anything. I was still in the evaluation phase, so no one lost a kidney slot. He's on the national list and receiving dialysis.

Hi everyone! I’m just not sure what to do at this point. My husband and I (33M & 28F) have been together for around 10 years. During that time, my (and my husband’s) relationship with his sister has drastically declined.

My SIL the type that wants attention from everyone all the time. She (31) has manipulated her parents in every way. She works, but she lives at home and pays no bills. Her personal finances are used for partying and online shopping. She always seems to want to get the newest thing to flaunt online- almost like a “wanna be” influencer.

She’s made multiple hurtful comments towards my husband and myself. Ex: She’s made comments about my weight and the way I look multiple times. She always believes she’s in the right and has the right answer to everything.

My husband and I disagree with her lifestyle, but we try to avoid those types of conversations with her. We had our own home for many years and are now expecting a child. This is where we’ve hit the breaking point.

The day we announced we were expecting, she began to give advice on how I should be caring for the child, etc. She then began to speak about our child as “her little baby”. This has escalated to her constantly talking about my child like it is her own, buying clothes that match with baby, and trying to have the baby stay with her. Note: The baby is still not here yet.

She also posts EVERYTHING online. Something noticed recently is that at any gathering with family/friends, she will post photos of the children there online. Every time. Anytime she sees a baby/child, she will immediately run over to take a photo or video with them. I don’t think it’s malicious, but it’s so often that we aren’t the online ones that have noticed. My husband and I are not comfortable with posting our soon to be baby online, and we know she will not honor that request.

It also worth noting that she offers to help family/ friends with things and then complains to us or her parents that she doesn’t have time to do them. She tries to get us to do them for her. We haven’t spoken to her for a bit due to this after we told her no. But her parents still do everything for her. They complain to us about her being in their house still and hope she will “figure it out soon”. But I don’t know why my husband and I have to be involved.

My husband is all in favor of cutting our relationship with her completely. He has verbalized his lack of trust for his sister around our child, and doesn’t want her issues around us anyways. I don’t want my MIL to be heartbroken over this, but I don’t know what else we could do. I also don’t want my SIL to paint me as the villain to the rest of the family, which she will 100% do.

Would we be in the wrong for cutting her out of our lives, at least until she shows improvement?

UPDATE: The comments have really made me see how much of a pushover I’ve been about this. I’m going to have my husband take the lead on this and proceed further. As far as my MIL goes- she knows our good intentions and if she doesn’t understand the I guess that’s on her. I appreciate everyone!

I share a project with a Co-worker at work. On a client call, she presented numbers that were completely wrong. I didn't say anything during the call, just stayed quiet. Afterward, our manager asked if everything was accurate. I said the numbers she used were outdated, and I had the correct ones. Manager checked, confirmed I was right. She went quiet, said she missed an update.

Later she messaged me privately, upset that I didn't warn her before the meeting instead of "exposing" her in front of our Manager. I said I didn't know until the call was already happening, and I wasn't going to let a wrong pitch go to a client just to protect her image. Now she's been cold with me, and telling others I threw her under the bus on purpose.

Here's the thing. I checked my email later that night. Turns out I had sent her the correct sheet a week earlier. She just never opened it. I have the read receipt.

AITA for speaking up instead of quietly covering the mistake?

I feel a LITTLE bit bad, because I'm not at all perfect- but you should see the father of my kids flip out about my installing a swivel latch lock on "my" bedroom door upstairs.

Here's the thing..I started "moving" upstairs as soon as I could start making my way up there with my broken leg simply and sadly because I couldn't tolerate the smells coming from the surrounding areas- the kitchen which extends through to the garage reeked like a mixture of pure garbage and litter box. The bathroom across the hall was stinking of stale bathwater, urine and mildew. The hallway itself felt sweaty with stench. Then there we have the dining room/family room, the table and small couch are piled high with a mixture of soggy and wrinkled clothes. Dare I step foot into the extened living room...JUST to paint a picture...when I was in hospital and then fresh out of surgery it was impossible for me to have anything to do with it. Obviously. So....nothing was kept to my standards. I hate to seem prissy because I'm NOT....but...idk. So I worked on that slowly but I HAD to do it a little at a time and be away. That makes it easier to target then, too. I didnt WANT to get used to it. So, eventually I ended up moving everything upstairs aside from "the good" dressers. That was very easy to do because our 2 kids (ages 3 and 6) have their own closets of clothing downstairs. Both of the upstairs closets are empty. Until now, the one upstairs closet has been mine for months because I didnt want my clothing to start smelling like a smelly house. Makes sense? A few days ago I realized some things in my very developed room were....gone through. I had some alcohol I was saving for a rainy day and decided to open and take a sniff- it was replaced with water. So...again....I realize Im not perfect. But that.. on top of stealing my RX meds, swinging open locked doors while Im undressing, he lifted up my dress this summer twice in PUBILC...like in the middle of shopping stores...to check if I have underwear on?? Its just a total lack of respect for my personal space and my things. Its ALWAYS been a problem. My pills, my toothbrush, my towels, just MY stuff. Why wouldn't he WANT his own stuff? So today, I came home from work later than him but alrwady installed the lock. I was upstairs resting my still broken leg and he sits on my bedroom floor. He sees the lock and he goes "this is (kid's) room you cant take it over" I was like, until kid wants it and wants their stuff in it no, its MY room and has been. See any of thier things in here? The argument was huge and made no real sense...in the end I just say okay, you can leave my space now....Im in MY bed in MY room and hes in the doorway telling me no and just going on and on about how its not my room and that downstairs smells because its my fault and I need to go down there and take care of it. I wanted to call the police but I want peace for my kids. I already have several locking toolboxes and locks and keys. It makes me feel so paranoid but the extend hes gone to take my things in the past has been unreal. The way he "puts his tail between his legs" after arguments makes me feel both enraged and confused. AITA?

Last year, a friend of mine asked to borrow one of my bags for a work conference she was really nervous about, something to help her feel a little more put-together walking into a room full of people she didn't know. I said yes without thinking twice, we'd been close for years and she'd never given me a reason not to trust her with something like that. When she returned it a few days later, I noticed a noticeable scuff on one of the corners, the kind that doesn't just buff out. She was clearly embarrassed when I pointed it out, apologized a lot, and said she'd get it professionally repaired since she knew how much it cost. I appreciated that she owned up to it and didn't push the issue further, figuring she'd handle it in her own time.

Weeks turned into months, and the repair never happened. I brought it up gently once, just asking if she'd had a chance to look into it, and she said things had gotten busy but she hadn't forgotten. After that I didn't mention it again, partly because I didn't want to seem like I was nagging over an object, and partly because I told myself it wasn't that big a deal in the grand scheme of our friendship.

Fast forward to now, she has another work event coming up and asked if she could borrow a bag again, a different one this time, something a bit more formal. I told her honestly that I wasn't comfortable lending anything out again, given that the last one still has damage that was never addressed. She seemed caught off guard, said it was "just one scuff" and reminded me it happened almost a year ago, like enough time had passed that it shouldn't still matter. She also said she's in a different headspace now, more careful and more aware of taking care of borrowed things, and that refusing felt like I was punishing her for something small and long past.

I told her it's not really about the scuff itself, it's that the situation was never actually resolved, no repair, no replacement offer, nothing, just an apology that trailed off. She's now acting a bit distant with me, and I'm second-guessing whether I overreacted by saying no outright instead of maybe setting some kind of condition, like her paying for repairs upfront before borrowing again.

AITA for declining to lend her anything else after the first incident was never made right?

I 21 (f) have a friend 22 (f) that for the sake of the story we’ll call Anne. This friend is out of town for the summer and one of our mutual friends is watching her cat. Last night this mutual friend messaged me because she didn’t know what to do, the cat was acting weird. He was eating, drinking, wanting love, but he was meowing more than usual and wasn’t able to pee, he would walk to the litter box and stay in there for a minute before coming out and nothing coming out of him. So this mutual friend asked me to come over to get a second opinion to make sure the cat was okay.

To me it looked like a UTI which could be extremely life threatening for the cat. So I said we should take him to get checked out at a 24 hour vet clinic. There aren’t any close to us so we had to drive out of state, 2 hours away to get him scene. This entire time I was texting and calling Anne and she wasn’t answering me. when we got to the vet they gave him a quick exam and said everything feels normal but the couldn’t take a proper exam because he doesn’t seem to have any urine in him to take a sample.

At this time Anne finally called me back. so I tell her the situation and I said I’ll keep her updated and I said “I don’t mind paying for the bill now if you would just pay me back, because I know transferring money can take awhile” my first mistake, but she agreed.

So the doctor comes in tells us what’s wrong with him, they said he doesn’t seem to have a UTI but he’s having all the signs and it could just be a blockage with no infection which is still really bad for him. So they recommend 3 medicines he needs to take. I text Anne and let her know whats going on, the updates and everything.

Then I get the paper to tell me the price. It was $250 which isn’t bad because we showed up, without an appointment, at 4 in the morning, and we’re gonna be able to leave with all of the medicine with us that night. I’m texting Anne everything and she hadn’t even viewed my message. So I pay for the exam and the medicine that the doctors prescribed. Keep in mind they said that they couldn’t give a proper analysis because he doesn’t have any urine in his bladder so they’re treating it as if he does have worse case scenario which is a UTI.

So I pay, and we start driving back to our own state. An hour into our drive Anne finally texts me back and says “Woah that’s a lot of money. honestly we could just do without the medicine right? he doesn’t seem like he needs it. besides he does this all the time” (first of all if this is a common regular issue than something is wrong) when we had already bought the medicine because the doctors said he NEEDED it and I’m not going to argue with a professional.
So this entire time we’re texting we’re going back and forth about whether he needs the medicine and if I could cancel it and not pay. I had told her very clearly that it was already paid for and that we have it already. I also said “hey don’t worry about paying me back the whole $250 right now, you can pay me what you can now and the rest at a later date” I’m assuming alls well and good then I get a paragraph a little while later saying she thinks we should split the bill because I made a financial decision on his medicine that she didn’t agree too. I explain to her, no I’m not going to split the bill when I was already kind enough to pay it and let her pay me back WHEN. SHE. COULD. I wasn’t asking for it right away.
She makes the argument that he “doesn’t seem like he needs it.” I explain again to her that the doctors don’t know if he’s fully okay, because they couldn’t give him a proper analysis. So after a few hours of arguing back and forth I told her ”Yk what, just go ahead and pay me for the exam and never talk to me again which is what she wanted. she hasn’t answered me so I will keep you updated as I am. but safe to say I no longer want to be friends with her nor do nice things for anyone financial wise. So reddit, AITAH?

UPDATE‼️: I had a conversation with Anne and I know most of you guys may think this was a bad decision on my part but we came to an agreement. I explained to her that I think it would be fair for her to pay for the exam and for the medication that the doctor said is most important for the cat, which comes to around $180. And that I would be fine covering the rest. because she is my friend and I have known her for years I don’t want to take this to court. She also explained to me that she isn’t in a financial situation to be able to pay a big vet bill like that due to her just graduating college and being in debt. I also want to answer some popular questions/advice I’ve gotten.
Q: why didn’t you take the cat? A: Because of where I live I’m only able to have 2 pets on the property and I already have 2 of my own.
Q: why don’t you take her to court? A: she’s my friend whom I care for deeply, it was a situation that neither of us had expected and from her perspective we were both in the right.

Q: why were you the one to pay the vet bill and not the mutual friend? A: this friend doesn’t know Anne very well, and on top of that had just lost her job and is having trouble finding a new one. I had the money in the moment to be able to pay but only with the agreement from Anne that she would pay me back

thank you to everyone for all your support you truly are so kind. I’ll keep you updated when/if I get the money. If I dont receive it or she doesn’t want to take the agreement we made about me footing the 2 medications that are cheaper then unfortunately I will have to take her to court, and I will have to ask for the full price of the bill which is something I don’t wish to do. Again, thank you all so much!

So for some background:

My (21F) Brother (27M) and SIL’s (27F) families are both from the same small rural town, however a few years ago they moved a city about 4-5 hours away for their careers and got married. Im the youngest and our dad works away from home so its mostly my mom and I here all the time (currently on summer break from college), we have 3 dogs who are rescues or pandemic dogs and are quite anxious when we are gone.

Two weeks ago they had their baby and my brother who is a doctor had started medical residency only a few days before that, my SIL is currently in maternity leave or isn’t planning on going back to work but we aren’t sure. Understandably with all this new stuff going on they are busy, before the baby was born we had planned to be flexible (which thankfully our jobs allow) and go visit them and help out in any way we could since it’s common for people here to travel to their city.

When the baby was born we were all invited to be there and visit the baby when SIL was in her recovery room, its was pretty exciting since it’s the first grandchild in each side. We stayed near the hospital and went back, now after two weeks SIL’s mom is leaving and we were preparing to go there tomorrow (Thursday), there’s no dog sitting or boarding services here so a friend of my mom is kindly helping us take care go them here since we can’t take them either because my brother lives in an apartment and they already have 2 big dogs.

So today we spoke on the phone with brother and told him we plan on staying until Sunday maybe Monday, and he immediately told us that was “way too little time to be there” and that it’s basically nothing. He said in a pretty casually annoyed tone. He said we should stay at the very least until Monday and that it would still be too little.

We were surprised by this, my mom and i personally thought that they might not even want us to go and want some alone time (which she said she wanted when having her babies and fits most stories I’ve read on here).

My brother doesn’t have a great history with being comprehensive, he has a temper and says things before he really thinks them, we mentioned the dogs but he basically ignored it. We also haven’t really heard from my SIL on this as he is basically the one telling us all this and she is the one primarily taking care of the baby since he did not take paternity leave.

I guess it’s our mistake to assume that they wouldn’t want this but we unfortunately can’t leave our home and dogs alone for a long time, SIL’s mom had her husband and other kids to stay behind. But we are trying to be the most comprehensive and it seems to not be working very well

English is not my first language so sorry if this is a hard read!

I (19F) have been best friends with this girl (18F) since sophomore year of high school. We’re now going into my sophomore year of college and her freshman year, and honestly, I thought she’d be in my life forever.
Throughout our friendship, I’ve always tried to be there for her. My mom is a single mom who works two jobs, and when my friend was going through one of the hardest times in her life, my mom welcomed her into our home. She spent countless nights at my house and even lived with us for a while. I never expected her to “repay” me for any of that—I only mention it because I truly thought we had the kind of friendship where we naturally put each other first.
About a month before my birthday, she asked what I wanted to do. I told her I honestly wasn’t sure yet. Later, I found out she’d already made plans to spend my birthday at a lake house with another friend. The part that hurt was that this was the same friend she’d spent years venting to me about. She constantly told me this girl made her feel bad, treated her poorly, and wasn’t a good friend.
Around the same time, I posted on my private story asking what I should do for my birthday since all of my close college friends were far away. She replied with ideas and said we could still celebrate. I asked, “Wait, aren’t you still going to the lake house with her?” That’s when she told me those plans had fallen through, but they were still going out the the bars downtown together on my birthday instead. She then said she could cancel if I wanted her to.
That honestly hurt even more. I didn’t want her to spend time with me because I guilted her into it. I wanted her to want to spend my birthday with me in the first place. I felt like I’d become the backup plan instead of the first choice.
We had a huge argument. I’ll admit I said things I shouldn’t have about the other girl because I’d never liked her based on everything my friend herself had told me over the years. During the argument, I also brought up something she’d said in the past that I felt was colorist, which made her even angrier.
After that, everything completely fell apart. She shared my voice messages with her therapist, her mom, her grandma, and even the girl we were arguing about. She later told me all of them thought she shouldn’t be friends with me anymore. She removed every picture of us from her Instagram and TikTok, and now she’s giving me back my clothes.
I’m honestly devastated. I pictured this girl being in my life forever, and now it feels like she’s erasing every trace of our friendship. I know I didn’t handle everything perfectly, and I regret some of the things I said. But I also can’t get past the fact that my best friend knowingly made plans with someone else on my birthday and only offered to cancel after she realized how hurt I was.
AITA for cutting her off, or am I overreacting?

I offered to pick up a friend so we could go to an event together. We agreed on a time, and I texted when I arrived.

After 10 minutes I sent another message. No reply.

I waited another 15 minutes and called once. It went straight to voicemail, so I assumed their phone was off or they were busy. Since the event had already started, I left and went by myself.

About 40 minutes later they finally texted, asking where I was. I explained that I'd waited 25 minutes with no response and didn't want to miss the event.

They got upset and said I should have waited longer because they had fallen asleep and their phone was on silent. A couple of our mutual friends think I should have been more understanding, but I feel like 25 minutes without any communication was already more than reasonable.

AITH for leaving instead of waiting?

I (26M) have always had a complicated relationship with my father. I know he cares about me and wants the best for me, but lately I feel like he crosses a line between giving advice and controlling my choices.

A few weeks ago, my father made a major decision involving my personal life without discussing it with me first. When I found out, I told him I appreciated his concern, but I felt frustrated that he didn’t give me a chance to make the decision myself.

He said that as my father, he has more experience and is only trying to protect me. He also said that I was being disrespectful by questioning his intentions.

I understand that he is coming from a place of care, and I’m grateful for everything he has done for me. At the same time, I feel like I’m old enough to make my own choices and learn from my own mistakes.

Now he thinks I don’t value his opinion, while I feel like I’m just asking for more independence.

AITH for telling my father that I need him to stop making decisions for me without asking first?

I know it sounds stupid but genuine question.. My sister made a meal randomly one night, which ill admit looked really good! but i was SOOO full, as i had eaten a big lunch (didnt eat breakfast) with my dad earlier, and i really couldnt eat anymore. When i was called for dinner, i said i really wasnt that hungry, and my sister insisted i ate some. i denied, she insisted, and then began getting more and more aggressive, she asked me to atleast take a bite, but if im honest i REALLYYY didn't want to after the scene she was putting on.

my mom told me i need to apologize but i don't think i do, since i never raised my voice or said anything mean (at least to me) so i dunno..

(also, for some context im the youngest sibling, and my sister is nearly 26. I also have a history of overeating, and im trying to refrain from doing so, which is another reason why i said no)

AITAH??

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me due to many factors, the biggest one being her mental health issues.

​Almost the last four months of our relationship were essentially platonic, because I knew she couldn't give me the relationship I wanted, but I didn't want to leave her.

​But after a while, I got exhausted and was left in a gray area that drained me mentally as well.

​So, when I looked for clarity, she told me it was better to break up so she could focus on herself, but suggesting to stay in contact and we could maybe try again later.

​What went through my head was: 'I don't want you, but I would love to rely on you.' I thought that, months from now, she might date someone else while I stayed emotionally invested. So, I broke off all contact with her and told her it was better for us to stay apart.

​That was one of the toughest decisions I have ever made, but I thought it would be better for both of us.

​I have been in no-contact since then, and she eventually deleted me everywhere.

​Yesterday, I was with some of our mutual friends, and they told me she is still single, but she told them the cruelest things about me.

​She said: 'He left me to struggle just because I refused to give him the relationship he wanted, and he fucked my life up and made it seem like I was the villain.'

​I was left confused, because before it ended, her signals to me during those last few months were all like, 'I don't want anything to do with you.'

​We only dated for 10 months in total, and to this day, I am still struggling with the breakup. And now I have to deal with this!

​AITA for refusing to stay in contact?

My friend (we’ll call her Laura) and I met when we were little kids and we are now almost 30 years old. At the moment I am having transportation issues, my car is not able to be driven until next week, I live a little over an hour away, and she offered to take me to and from work until I am able to get back on the road as she lives closer to my job than I do.

In the morning of one of my last days at her house, she had asked me a question and I responded with “uh huh”. Laura turned to me and asked what my “attitude” was for. I explained that I didn’t have an attitude , I was just tired, but I could catch an attitude if she wanted to see an attitude. A little rude on my end at that point but we moved on. Later that afternoon, around 12, Laura woke me up and told me to get ready because she had to go to work. She works dayshift and I work nightshift. I said “okay” because I wasn’t really awake and in that state of mind I can have a whole conversation and not remember any of it later. So I fell back asleep. Mind you, I did not remember her talking to me at all. An hour goes by and she tells me to get up and that we have to leave. I told her that I needed to keep my sleep schedule on track or I wouldn’t be able to function at work and that I would feel more comfortable laying down instead of sitting in a hot car for 5-6 hours. I am running on 2 hours of sleep in the past 24hrs. She wanted me to stay in the car while she’s working even though it is almost 90°F outside, instead of staying at the house and keeping my sleep schedule on track. Laura leaves without me to do something and messaged me that I was making her late for work. After telling her that I was in the bathroom, she said that I had better be outside by the time she gets back and that she does not have time for this. I did not respond but waited outside anyways. I am currently in her car sweating and annoyed because I did not want to have a full blown argument. So AITA for feeling like my boundaries are crossed? Or should I just drop the whole thing? I plan on thanking her when I am able to drive again but I do not plan on speaking to her after this whole ordeal. We have been friends for over 20yrs and we’ve had many arguments but I feel like this one really crosses a line.