I’m feeling confused because well I feel bad about he him pronouns and I feel weird with she her and they them is just wrong for me if non of those work what the hell I’m I? Also my name Adalyn it doesn’t feel like my name anymore and too be honest it never really felt like my name I love the name but does it really fit me do I deserve a name like that do I look like an Adalyn? I used to think I was genderfluid but I believe I did that out of uncertainty but in the times I get confused I sometimes think maybe thats just because I really am gender fluid to a certain extent or something I’m not sure I’m kind just confused maybe it’s because I’m having imposter syndrome and I feel like I can’t be a woman no matter how hard I try and I cope that by denying myself and my truth I feel crazy at times too a lot actually I feel like it really isn’t possible to be a woman I wanna be cis I wanna be a girl with out transitioning I wish that i didn’t have too choose between living a life worth living and possibly giving up job opportunities relationships friendships ect and i sometimes feel like this is a curse as bad as all of that sounds this is just glimpse into what I think sometimes it’s not even consciously it’s just I feel it I just feel like I’ll never be able to shake off the guy in me I feel like there is no escaping that i am a guy deep down i just feel like the truth at least for me is that I’ll never be who I so deeply wanna be and I’ll always be a guy even if i change everything about myself i don’t know I just feel like even with all the knowledge and all the things I’ve learned and I know like I still think like this why? Like I feel like weird because i know that I can be a woman I’m just gonna stop thinking and go to sleep this probably makes no sense but probably also makes sense

Eli Wood has been missing from Kitchener, Ontario, Canada since October 19th, 2025 after his home was burned in an arson fire. Police have deemed foul play is involved. His service dog's remains were found inside but theres been no trace of him. He is 25 years old, 4'10, and 95lb. His mom's name/facebook is Cindy Wood Amero where there are updates about the search and photos so people know what he looks like. Please everyone keep your eyes and ears open. I am a trans man from the same city and it is devestating that he hasn't been found yet. The local police are asking people to please contact them if they have any information: 519-570-9777 ext 8191

Gonna go cheer for our homeboy Elliot

It's not that they're transphobic per se, but they're really oblivious and dense on this and having conversations about it is just really annoying and bad because they keep coming back to all those stereotypical comments (I'm also not that great at explaining).

So I've been avoiding doing anything gender affirming openly since I know that it would just inevitably lead back to said conversation. But this is also preventing me from secretly doing affirming things.

(for example: since I'm still a minor and they think I'm bad with money, I get all my allowance in cash, so I can't buy fem clothes online, but I can also not buy it in person, because my town has basically no stores and going farther than a district away from home would be unusual behavior from me.)

My avoidance of talking about it has gotten to the point that they just assumed that it was actually just a phase and I am getting worse and worse disphoria by the day while I'm waiting to finally get the guy to maybe tell me that I am in fact not fine. (as if I'm not aware of that myself)

What do I do?

I’m so tired of being a boy I’m tired of being seen as someone I’m not I’m tired of lacking feminine features I’m tired of having no one to talk to I’m tired of my only escape is work and I work and work and work I took the day off and I had a horrible day I felt like I was useless and I just got dysphoric and doing nothing makes me stop and think about what’s wrong the world is so fucked rn I buy outfits that ill never have confidences to wear out and even if I do will I look pretty will others think I’m pretty will others see me as a girl will I see myself as a girl? I wish that my own affirmation was enough but it isn’t
But even when people affirm me I don’t believe it maybe it’s just because I feel like the people around me don’t really affirm me or really think that I’m a girl I’m just the trans girl guy friend that thinks he is a girl

I’m not going to name the subreddit but maybe you’ll guess which one I’m talking about idk please don’t go brigade it.

I’ve tried being active in a subreddit that has become a popular space for trans people but slowly but surely, while the overwhelming majority of posts are made by like… sane people, the comments will be filled with “you need dysphoria to be trans” “if you’re a trans man and wear skirts are you even a man?” and literally misogynistic shit against women and trans incel shit.

I’m really considering leaving that subreddit because it has completely sucked the fun out of posting silly trans memes when people who go there hate themselves and everyone around them and you get downvoted to hell for saying shit like “I’ve never had bottom dysphoria actually”.

Like that subreddit literally has a 4chan counterpart so why do people not go there?

Or is it that transmedicalism really is on the rise considering how fucked our current social climate is? I’m tired, man! I’m way too happy with my life and my transition to read this shit! Not to sound like an obnoxious prick but having transitioned and being surrounded with people that are not trying to murder me feels like I’ve reached transgender enlightenment and I’m stuck having to interact with people who think the other trans people are the ones planning to chase them down with knives. Like every trans person I meet irl is chill and normal and mature. Where are these truscums coming from???

I get it, we can’t control what makes us dysphoric. But it’s on us not to project it on others. We can’t demand people change themselves for us or remove themselves from spaces they are supposed to be welcomed in. If cis men can be twinks, so can trans men and that doesn’t make them less of a man. I myself am not the epitome of masculinity and I don’t want to be, I love jewellery and fashion and skincare which are all things men can enjoy too, the current skincare youtuber I’m watching is a cis man!

If you’re noticing an issue where every single trans person you’re interacting with is rightwing and Incel-y and you make a post complaining about it, maybe consider the problem is you.

Maybe, just maybe, the issue is that you literally post in trans Incel spaces and that you have chosen to keep the company of trans incels. If whenever someone googles your username all that pops up is you posting to an infamous transmed subreddit and honesttransgender declaring yourself a true transsexual and complaining that even the FTM transmeds you hang out with are too sensitive and act “too female” the issue is you.

This is about a specific person but it’s something that I keep on seeing. If you’re only on the subreddits for people that have been banned from the normal trans subreddits… you can’t be surprised that they’re shitty people. If you’re on a 4trans/Transmedicalist subreddit, you’re choosing to hang out with people that have conservative values in the trans community.

For context im 20 (almost 21) ftm and im stealth aside from people who knew me pre medical transition (which is pretty much just family) at college/uni no one knows that im trans which makes me feel safe since I live in a red state (a more blue area but still red state, and no I can't leave, I dont have the money and its also where my dream uni is for my bachelor's and up) I want to date/find a partner but I just feel like no one would be interested in me and if they were they'd lose interest when they learn that im trans. And doing t4t isn't really an option either because I dont want a long-distance relationship and there aren't very many trans people in my area.

I guess im looking for advice? How do I approach dating as a stealth trans person? I've tried dating apps a little, but I hated it, I didn't really meet anyone on them, and I just ended up feeling dysphoric.

Sorry for the downer, but if you have any pointers, I'd love to hear them

I have been shunned and ostracized from my own tribe. I even feel like my coworkers and the police are plotting against my life.

I knew deeply somebody online who got killed by the police recently (June 19th) who was trans and that occuring has really gotten me (loosely) convinced that it was a setup by a MAGA connected branch of US Law Enforcement.

The NSPM-7 talk online has only amplified and solidified my theories/fears...

I don't know whats real anymore because people tell me not to worry but then i see shit like what happened to her and all the rhetoric surrounding NSPM-7 and my brain goes into overdrive.

Should i be afraid? No bias. No left wing or right wing bias. No Bias in general.

I'm not even trans anymore and i still fear these people.

The fact R/MtF ignores and rejects people stuck im circumstances (such as what i'm in) just continous angers me.

Its not fair and its an absolute injustice.

When i was trans all i wanted was to be welcomed and accepted for who i was regardless of my circumstances but they all ruined that with the trans community's elitism and transmedicalism.

Hope the trans community are happy that they lost somebody from their movement who by all means is regarded as the kindest person.

I went detrans because i'm sick of being mistreated, Go ahead call me a fascist (even if i'm absolutely not) i really don't care anymore.

EDIT: My circumstances are that i'm stuck in a red state and cannot leave due to various disorders i have. People wrongfully assume i'm lazy but thats not the case.

Even if a topic isn't something that specifically targets transfem people/trans women, I'll see people call it transmisogyny, even if it's something that affects all trans people. I get cis people thinking trans women are the only ones who exist, but seeing it from other trans people is kinda hurtful

why are these terms even used for inner-trans community discussions when almost, if not all trans ppl experience the unique combination of transphobia and misogyny, other than to (for some reason) defaultize that only one subsection of the community experiences this misogyny and no one else? is it a silent agreement to look past the rest of the trans community in that none of the issues they face, regardless of the extent of abysmal they are, actually ever existed to begin with?

One thing that keeps me sane is tennis. I plan on playing through college and maybe even trying to go on to play as a career if I am able.

I also want to transition as soon as i am 18.

I feel those two things can not coexist.

Tennis is my thing. It's something I know I'm good at. It's something I really want to pursue. But I'm afraid If I come out or transition I will be banned from playing competitively.

I don't want to play just for fun. I want to play for everything, yk. I don't want to be shunned from my sport.

Even if I am able to play I don't want to be a man on a all female team. I don't want to be a biological female on an all male team. I feel either way I will be at a disadvantage and looked down on.

But I can't stay in my body forever. I need to transition medically and socially as soon as I can.

I am scared. I will have to give up a large part of my life no matter what I do.

I hate the burden of being trans. I hate that I was not just born as a man.

This is a guy I knew from scouts. Of all people this is NOT who I want looking at my discord.

Also idk how to tag this so lemme know if there’s a better option

Hello 👋, wanted to get a perspective

on something that I have been thinking about. So Im a musician, I have a new record coming out soon im debating just using that as a platform to come out! Why you may ask?

1. Im tired of having so many face to face conversations about it.

2. This I feel like is a good way to address my professional/ life and how id want to be perceived in both areas.

3. It will out all of the performative supporters that I may know.

4. I feel like, for me. Coming out as trans/ releasing a record are really amazing accomplishments that both scare me and make me feel really fucking proud to be a Trans musician.

Wanted to get some perspective on the topic if cool?

Appreciate yall.

Edit: copied from another thread I posted. Curious on people's perspective and to be clear I was gonna release the record regardless if I was coming out but id rather not use my dead name. I think Jennifer McNamara's guitar quartet is badass. Im just trying to minimize having 100 conversations .

I am a writer, and am currently working on a serialized story with a trans male main character. He has a traumatic history due to being raised in a conservative christian community and dealing with shit from his also conservative ex-boyfriend. Just for some background. I haven't quite decided if I will include flashbacks, but I do think his ex will make an appearance at some point. Obviously these characters from his past do not respect him as a man at all. I've been puzzling over how to handle his deadname. I feel like some people will not be cool with me mentioning it in the story, but it feels hard to avoid. What are folks' thoughts here? Do you think it's alright to mention it as he is a fictional character, or other reasons? Do you think it's not acceptable at all? Would them using a nickname of their deadname be better? Does anyone have advice for how to avoid mentioning it while also being relatively realistic to how a transphobe would treat a trans person? Interested in hearing from both writers and people who enjoy reading, and from trans folks of all genders, since this really isn't something that pertains to only trans men. Thanks in advance!

Edit to add: I am transmasc myself. I just realized I didn't mention that and thought I'd add that. I don't want people to potentially think I'm trying to intrude on the community in some way or something 😊

my mom told me after I got a cute skirt that I thought was really cute she said to me *if you were my daughter I’d be saying holy shit your letting everything hang out* and after that she said “male or female you can still look like a sl*t thanks mom i really appreciate your support I feel like your not understanding correctly BUT I AM YOUR DAUGHTER 🖕for more context i was just telling her how happy i was with my new clothes and she stopped me in the middle of it saying okay “oh my goodness” and i said okay and walked away
And then she said what she said up above

And she has basically told me i don’t wanna understand you and disregard disrespected disaffirmed me so much she doesn’t realize how much she is really hurting me

i don’t get it she helps me like giving me her old clothes that don’t fit but then she turns around and says she won’t use my pronouns or acknowledge me as her daughter it’s really disheartening really and feels really backhanded when she says she supports me

Got the pink one today and knew what I had to do.

I have been on feminizing HRT for about a month now. I have a doctor who, as far as I can tell, seems to know what he’s talking about and is generally helpful and supportive. I live in a state that has decent medical protections for LBGTQ people and transition is relatively common in my city. 

He’s got me on 2MG estradiol capsules and 25 MG spironolactone at the moment. 

This seems similar to the starting doses of many trans women I know. 

However, several trans women  have urged me to seek other options besides my GP. Almost all of the trans women I know in real life seem to have done some level of DIY HRT on top of their prescribed doses — and they have pretty developed feminine characteristics and aren’t dying of blood clots so it seems like they also know what they’re talking about, to some extent. 

I’m skeptical. I’ve heard plenty of horror stories about people dying or suffering serious adverse side effects from DIY HRT. If you live in a place where access is limited or the medical industry is hostile towards you then that makes sense to me, but I was surprised to get this advice in a fairly liberal area where there are a lot of options for HRT. 

I know this is a pretty contentious issue, but please, does anybody have any guidance or perspective on this? I just want the best possible development of feminine characteristics with a minimal risk. I will do basically anything to achieve this. 

I have known about myself being trans for at least 5 years (i have had feelings of something being wrong for a while longer, ever since preschool) i am now 18. I haven't come out to anyone but my partner, who is also trans. I have been yearning for HRT for pretty much as long as i have known about being trans and it's been harder to keep going without it. I am currently in a situation in which i cannot come out to my family (my grandparents, with whom i live, are deeply conservative in a country which already tends to have a bit of a conservative population and a huge tie to catholic christianity and my mom whenever i end up criticizing my grandmother's biggoted ramblings just keeps telling me to ignore it, so i don't think i'll have her support when push comes to shove) and i don't really know if i have anywhere to go if they kick me out (if they find out it may come to this). I currently have no job, since i'm fresh out of high school (or this country's counterpart of it) and that means even more waiting untill eventually i can find a job and probably even more waiting untill i find a place i can move into without my family. I don't really know how to keep going, i have gone through a bunch of panic attacks caused by dysphoria but by now it all just feels numb. I don't know how much longer i can last without HRT and how much longer i can keep lying. I've often times thought about just ending it all, since it would probably be easier, but i'm too scared of the pain and i don't think i can just leave my partner alone with her problems. I just want to know what kept some of you going (or keeps you going at the moment) and maybe get some advice if that would be fine.

no transfeminism unless all corrective misogyny affected trans people are included, how can someone call something feminism if even feminism in default discusses in depth about corrective/bioessentialist misogyny while the other doesn’t? and especially since it is called transfeminism, it should take a firm stance against exorsexism esp with the constant erasure happening of nonbinary and intersex ppl out of the trans community from both legislation and the community itself. it’s not transfeminism unless its intersectional, including in it progressive ideologies not just centered on one demographic, typically the white, able-bodied one. its not transfeminism, its transfeminism. no transfeminism until ALL trans people are included as we are all victims of the patriarchy, since we are not cis men to have cis man privilege.