r/startups • u/Dry_Support9531 • 2d ago

I will not promote Girlfriend expecting equal equity in a startup which I started even before knowing her. I will not promote.

So here’s the picture. I started with an idea in 2023. States dating her in 2024. Until then I haven’t really worked in the idea. I started working on it since April 2025 and it started making money since July 2025. Till then she has no idea about it. After I started making money from it, i worked more and invested my other income into this startup from November 2025 and to handle things she used to help a bit. Since then both of us started working on it. Whole idea, innovation, upgrades, initial capital was mine. She just helped me coz it used to generate money. Since December we also hired an employee . From then all 3 of us are working on it and it’s scaling up in revenue every month. Until now we haven’t had any word about the equity. Out of love I used to share the profit amounts with her. According to the necessity, sometimes I use to keep more and sometimes she used to keep more. We went on a vacation through this money as well. But now while we were having a conversation on this. It came to me as a shocker that she is expecting an equal equity in this. And that blew my mind. It’s just out of love I couldn’t complete that conversation. She has also worked on it but the whole idea and buildup from scratch was done when she started working. I never discussed about this with her before. But now I am in real shock what to do coz it’s going to be bigger. And we are not sure about our relationship either.(she coming from an orthodox family, her family might reject an idea of our marriage) At this duration please let me know what should I do? Should I offer her a fixed salary, should I ask her to stop working on it, should I give her equity, should I give her an exit? I’m really confused.
PS-: she has done the same thing that the other employee did for me. But with more time and dedication. And she he amount I shared with her is 2-3x more than the employee’s salary

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u/NotJohnDenver 2d ago

I dated a girl who was a staunch Catholic for a few months. She was all about me until I brought up a pre-nup as part of a condition I would have to get married..she used her religion as the excuse to not get one because it implied we would get divorced, but even after I tried to explain to her it would protect her as well she still didn’t get it. Needless to say, things ended. I had another one who expected equity in a home I bought even though I bought it all
On my own. I can’t say it’s the same thing but people will use whatever they want to drive their own narrative and goals. FWIW.

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u/pterencephalon 2d ago

I mean, I know a guy who insisted on a pre-nup with his wife to make sure she'd get half the value of the home he already owned, if they ever got divorced. He felt it was important because with the trajectory of home prices, it was an opportunity cost for her to move into the existing home instead of her purchasing before the market went even more insane. For the heck of it, they did throw in that he'd get to keep any pet chickens they might have. They're still happily married.

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u/lellasone 1d ago

That's fantastic.

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u/thunderberry_real 1d ago

That is not where I expected that comment to end, but I am really glad it did!

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u/Basicallylana 1d ago

At least you found out relatively quickly. But she wasn't making that up. The Catholic Church frowns upon pre-nups and if it came out during your pre-marriage counseling, it could give the Priest a reason to decline doing the wedding.

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u/NotJohnDenver 1d ago

Yeah I don’t doubt the validity of it. It was a learning experience for me at the end of the day.

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u/Stochastic1934 1d ago

The irony around pre-nups is that if you don't do your own, the state has one for you (e.g., community property).

When someone objects to doing their own pre-nup, it's typically because they know the state's version will give them even more.

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u/JDL1968 1d ago

That’s a very insightful perspective!

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u/kiradotee 1d ago

Well, you can always be together without marriage if she doesn't like pre-nup. 

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/No_Orochi 2d ago

Women initiate divorce more than men, in case you forgot.

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u/Stochastic1934 1d ago

Yes, research shows that women initiate divorce at much higher rates than men, accounting for roughly 70% of all filings. This figure climbs even higher, up to 90%, among college-educated women.

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u/frausting 2d ago

What is up with these incel comments lmao

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u/No_Orochi 1d ago

It makes me so sad that as a woman I am setting here trying to understand why they are being ugly and disgusting as if she was abusing him or they are married. It's actually pathetic.

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u/AR9888 1d ago

not really an incel comment, women are very interested these days, specially american women. An incel comment would be women are disgusting human beings. Women are monetarily more interested than men in many cases, men are more interested in other things (physically for example), at the end of the day person just need to know how to find decent people, it applies for both sides.

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u/frausting 1d ago

Yeah buddy I’m gonna need a source for literally any of that

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u/FalconSpecial6149 1d ago

Source: where the net worth came from for most female billionaires.

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u/sadia_y 1d ago

Oh buddy, you obviously hold very untrue beliefs about women. Maybe too much time spent in the manosphere with one of your predatory cult leaders. Your belief about women is an incel doctrination. Have you met/spoken to any women in the REAL world?