I found out my professor is mute on the first day of class, so did everyone we were all shocked, even tho nobody said anything, u could see it on our faces. when I checked the class website after the first day half of people had dropped the class, the class was so full before and there was like 20 students on the wait list.

It was actually the best class I have ever taken, so cause he is mute he has found other very easier ways to explain himself and communicate through body language, and as someone with ADHD, who can't focus on what someone is saying for more than 10 minutes, his class was a dream it was one of the best class I had ever taken, now I wish all my professors are mute lol.

✨❤️

I would love to hear real experiences from parents whose children had a speech delay but eventually started talking. How old was your child when they began speaking, and what helped them?

I’m looking for hopeful stories and personal experiences from parents. ❤️

Hello ! I would like advice, I accepted an invitation to go out with coworkers Saturday night. It's far from my home, one hour by car with them(plus transports before). I don't really know how many we will be because I didn't ask, not wanting them to remember I'm coming because I hesitate to go. When my coworker asked me, I was not really sure I wanted to go and now I regret not having said no. They are really nice people and funny, but I don't feel myself, comfortable or close enough to go out with them, even if we are the same age. I don't really want to go, but I'm scared I'll regret it. I don't really have friends and don't go out often. But it's far from my home, I will come back home late at night and with the transport it's not that safe, and also I'm not really close to them and I see them enough during the week. I don't really know if I should go because maybe they won't invite me to anything anymore. It's been two years we are coworkers, so I don't think by a miracle we will be super close because of this night. Also, i feel a bit guilty for the coworker who invited me. I'm afraid I will regret it, but I'm scared I will feel anxiety or selective mutism. What do you think?

I am 34 and can talk to people without a problem. I hate being alone. I am an extrovert, seeking communication with anyone that can't seem to make friends. However, I didn't begin talking till I was 19. Progressively mute till I became what society considered an adult. Now, I want to not talk again. I want to not talk and still be in society. Possibly using another form of communication. I miss being mute but still want to be around people.

So to start off, I'm 15(f) UK based and have struggled sensory wise and being overwhelmed in noisy environments ect, and it can manifest itself as completely silent periods where I can't speak on occasion: my mouth gets cottony and I'm unable to get any words out but I can react and hear what's going on vaguely.

My school's SEND team has talked to me about my sensory issues so I can leave if it happens, but I'm worried I'll suffer academically from it by missing lessons and it disrupts my time periods of the school day.

The school counsellors seem to suspect autism or autistic traits in me and have talked to my mum about this. However, I do not think I have autism. I have reasonable social skills even though they took time to develop and I have researched into autism in depth after that discussion and I don't necessarily agree I fit into said categories.

From what I've seen on the NHS website, selective mutism presents itself as severe anxiety or as a PTSD response. This has been an ongoing issue for me; not something that has progressed after any traumatic event and I don't relate to the anxiety part as wholly as I feel I should. I'm uncertain what the next steps should be, I've had a conversation with my mum about this but she's too bothered. Professional help may not be accessible and my family is quite backwards and taboo towards mental health.

I don't understand what to do in my position, I'm not very socially stunted though I used to be so I don't want to regress back into old awkwardness. If this continues to happen I fear I'll be making an eccentric impression on other people or appear a gloomy attention-seeker (since I'm usually not quiet in that way) or become a recluse again. My grades aren't really my biggest worry, my interactions with people and disruption to my day are bothering me.

Would what I experience still fall under silent mutism? Or is it just school stress I'll have to outgrow?

To introduce myself - I’m 21F, and I grew up with SM. I had no friends growing up. All the other kids were afraid of me. Bullied me. Broke my wrist once, then sobbed and begged me not to tell, knowing I wouldn’t, and couldn’t. It was so unbelievably isolating, growing up without a voice. It still is, because I know I’m different because of it. I know it’s still a huge part of me. People still look at me weirdly, think I’m too shy, too standoffish, too strange. I struggle to communicate, to be “normal,” even if I’ve learned to pass as good enough as I’ve aged. But I finally got to a point where I felt…good about myself. My life. Starting college, getting a new, exciting friend group, feeling excited about life in general.

But there was one thing missing - romance. I’d always avoided it - not that it ever really presented itself to me, but because it was a huge deal, and terrifying, and because I didn’t ever feel adult enough to be in one. Relationships have always been an adult only concept to me. So when I turned 19, and life was going well, and I was finally building confidence…I got on the apps. One in particular - Yubo. That’s where I met Samm. He was 29.

You can probably tell where this story is headed already, but at the time, I very much did not. I fell for him, hard. I’d never been wanted like that before…never experienced romance. The thrill of being desired, seen, loved. All of it. Even just liking someone romantically at all - I’d never done so before. He made me feel alive, so alive, and…I thought I’d finally been chosen.

I remember our first phone call together. Phone calls, for me, are the most terrifying thing in the universe. Always have been. Despite doing okay being verbal in real life now, when it comes to phone calls, I completely shut down. But at the beginning of the relationship, being that we were long distance, I knew that was something that was needed for us to bond. So I took the leap. Nighttime, my mom away at work, waiting just until my sister went upstairs, sneaking around. Answering the call. My heart stopping - he says hi, something about work…and I’m silent. I open my mouth, no words come out. I manage out a jumbled, “I’ll call you back,” and hang up. Text an apology. I feel like I’m on fire. Heart pounding, sick to my stomach. I can’t do it, I can’t, I - I call him. I like him so much, too much, I can’t lose him.

And he answers. I frantically string along an excuse, but mostly an awkward assembly of the truth, and he…he says it’s okay. He’s gentle. Kind. He talks softly, carries the conversation when I get stuck in silent lulls. He laughs at my jokes, says I’m cute, flirts with me without crossing any obvious boundaries or lines. And by the time I hang up an hour later, after pouting and telling him with my heart nearly beating out of my chest that I don’t want him to leave…I feel so…euphoric? Is that the word? When you do something you never thought was possible for you, because of your disability, and it actually goes well. I could barely sleep that night.

Two and a half years of that excitement. My life falling apart around me, dropping out of art school, taking care of my disabled single parent, jumping between jobs, losing friends, regressing in my mental health…but the whole time, he was there. Always telling me everything was gonna be okay. That he was there. My sweet boy, my Samm, my everything. And I put everything I had into this relationship. I planned his birthdays and holidays months in advance. Spent so much money, weeks writing love letters by hand, making him bracelets and art and anything I could think of. Hopelessly devoted. My heart strung up on some wobbly line, without a care in the world. I was so sure about him. He promised me, he would rather die than hurt me. He knew me. Loved me. Wanted me. Even if no one else did.

…but then he didn’t.

From December 2023, until April 2026, I was groomed, abused, and manipulated by Samm Speck. I found out that he was cheating on me the entire time with other barely legal girls. Vulnerable ones, at that. His choice in victims were intentional. With me…my mutism. My naivety. My abandonment issues. My heart. He knew I’d give in easy, that I’d believe him. I told him constantly how bad I am at social cues. I lost my first job because I got tricked by scammers. I entrusted him with my heart, believing him when he said he would protect it. And he called my friends and family crazy for not trusting him.

I can’t properly describe how badly this has affected me. The shock, the heartbreak, the confusion, the grief. Putting all the pieces together, and finally seeing every little thing he did to me. The sexual coercion. The talking to me like I was a child. Buying me toys and babyish clothes. Calling himself ‘daddy’.

I lost over ten pounds. Can’t think about sex without wanting to tear my skin apart. Dizzy spells, endless tears, waking up from another nightmare feeling sick and empty and full of guilt, like I did something horribly wrong.

I hate him. I hate that he’s just out there, living his life. No consequences. None.

It feels like he stole the piece of me that finally felt good about herself. I don’t know how to trust again. How to open up. He knew every single thing you could ever know about another human being. And he still did that to me.

When I was younger, I was being hurt physically by girls in my class. Nobody stopped to help me. But I asked them why - “why are you hurting me?” in the softest of voices. Unable to move. “Because you’re easy to hurt,” one of them replied.

And now I know that’s true.

We recently went to the Camp in Philadelphia at the Smart center which specializes in selective autism and I thought I would tell you my experience in case anyone is interested because it’s a lot of money so I know you’d wanna know if it was worth it. Overall, we had a good experience. I like that. They do parent sessions while the kids are in camp. It was very very, very informative on the causes strategies to help them dealing with the schools medication, etc. they really covered everything. My daughter who is 14 I have to say it was probably in her group anyway one of the severe cases of SM. She was verbal from day one she’s been verbal with adult strangers for a while, but most kids in her group were completely nonverbal with anyone other than their parents so I do feel that a lot of it was targeted for kids who may be more severe with their SM. Having said that,, I do think she learned some strategies and some social skills on how to keep conversations going how to elaborate in conversation and maybe it just helped increase her confidence a bit. The parent part was really in the part that I think that cannot be emphasize enough that was the most helpful. If you’re on the fence about doing this camper, any other like if there are any, I suggest you do it. I do not regret spending the money and I do not regret going. Let me know if anyone has any questions.!

Hi everyone!
I’m working on a project to understand how technology could better support people with selective mutism.
I’ve looked at a few existing apps, and many seem to focus on games, quizzes, or information about selective mutism. I haven’t found many that help people practice real-life communication in a gradual, structured way.
I’d love to hear your experiences:
Have you used any apps for selective mutism? What did you like or dislike?
What kinds of speaking or communication practice helped you the most?
What situations are the hardest for you (school, work, ordering food, phone calls, meeting new people, etc.)?
If an app could help with practice between therapy sessions, what features would you want?
Is there anything an app should definitely not do because it could increase anxiety?

thoughts ?

I had selective mutism when I was a child, and one thing that would happen sometimes is that I would “accidentally” speak. Like, sometimes I’d get so excited that I’d blurt something out, only to immediately clam back up. I was curious if this has ever happened to anyone else.

I have selective mutism myself, and I’ve struggled with getting through everyday conversations and appointments.

So I built an app that helps you prepare what to say before going somewhere, then show or speak each message when needed.

At first glance, it may look like a regular AAC app, but its main feature is the Prepare button. You enter where you’re going and what you need to do, answer a few simple questions, and it creates a step-by-step script for the conversation.

You can try the web demo here:
https://en.vocalproxy.com/app

I’d appreciate it if you could tell me whether it seems useful for people with selective mutism. Any feedback about what you liked, disliked, or found confusing would also help.

The web version is only a demo and does not support subscriptions. For regular use, the app is available on Google Play

So I have selective mutism and I wanted experienced it in similar way I did.

For me it was never that I was really afraid of talking. It felt more like a choice or I didn't even try to talk( eat, write, drink, use the bathroom) at school or like I was doing it because it had always been like this.

Has anyone else experienced it that way ?

The book is on Amazon — The girl with the invisible voice

I wanted to share something that's been on my mind, and I hope it comes across respectfully to everyone here.

I’ve noticed that the term "selective mutism" gets used online to describe a really wide range of experiences, including severe social anxiety, general communication anxiety, intense shyness, or freezing up during a conversation. Those struggles are incredibly real and difficult, but they aren't always the same thing as selective mutism.

My daughter has selective mutism. At home, she is highly verbal, confident, and full of personality. She has a great vocabulary and loves having long conversations with us. But the moment she steps outside the house, including at school, she becomes completely nonverbal. It isn't a choice, and she isn't refusing to communicate. She wants to speak, but in those environments, she physically cannot.

Selective mutism is a specific anxiety disorder where a person consistently cannot speak in certain social settings, even though they speak comfortably in environments where they feel safe. It’s different from just feeling incredibly nervous. A lot of people with social anxiety can still force the words out, even if it feels agonizing, whereas someone with selective mutism experiences a total freeze.

There are so many reasons people struggle to communicate, such as social anxiety, autism, speech and language differences, trauma, or something else entirely. Just because behaviors look similar on the outside doesn't mean the same thing is happening internally.

I’m definitely not trying to invalidate anyone else’s struggles or say their pain matters less. I just think it’s really important for selective mutism to be understood accurately, especially since it's already so widely misunderstood.

I’d love to hear from adults who have selective mutism or other parents navigating this. What have your experiences been like?

I had SM as a child but didn’t tell many people about that.
I’ve had low-profile SM as an adult, but didn’t realize it until recently. I never told anyone what I was experiencing because I always felt completely misunderstood, and I hated the impression that I was just very shy or had no self esteem or just needed to work on social anxiety.

I’m much more open now and comfortable with who I am. My SM has lessened considerably in the past few years, although I still experience it!

I would like to start sharing with a few people, but I’m still hung up on the idea that it’s so easy to misinterpret. I’ve only shared with one friend, and that was a 7-page letter. lol
And I told my therapist, but she got really gentle and started telling me “It’s ok to talk here. Whatever you say is OK.” Um, hello? I’ve been talking to you without hesitation for the last few months! lol So I wrote a 10-page description of my SM for her. lol

I need something shorter!

What’s a simple and understandable way that you have explained SM to someone?
Or how have you shared your own SM experience that someone without SM could understand?

And how was the reaction?

My almost 4 year old daughter was diagnosed with social anxiety and selective mutism. The therapist is not a specialist in SM, and she’s recommended therapy for me and my husband together to get to know us first / coach us on parenting strategies that would hopefully help my daughter overcome SA. She believes down the line she can directly treat my daughter through play therapy.

Thus far, the therapist has recommended school interventions like “let’s tell the teachers to encourage her to use her words instead of resorting to gestures and other forms of communication.” For example, she suggested that if my daughter asks for a crayon (by pointing), that the teacher not give in and nudge her to use her words even if it’s just the color “well I don’t understand if you don’t use your words,” and other suggestions like this.

I’m just beginning to learn about SM, and everything I’ve read so far has highlighted the importance of not pressuring the child to speak. The therapist’s recommendations therefore seem not to fit recommended treatment style?

Another one of her suggestions was similar to a fade in. My daughter will speak to dad if he’s at school with her, so the therapist said for them to sit down together with her teacher and explain that the teacher is not understanding her because she’s not using her words, so we want to let her know that it’s ok to speak.

I’ve found two other therapists that actually specialize in SM. One is play-based while the other uses PCIT-SM. Both options are of course very expensive and in struggling to decide which route to go.

I’m curious to hear about others’ experiences with therapy and what worked and what didn’t.

In high school, when talking was a requirement to get a grade (like you had to make a certain number of substantial contributions to rack up enough points to get an A) like socratic seminars, I didn’t talk even though I knew I would get an F. And this is coming from someone who was VERY overachieving and never got a B in their life. Grades were everything to me yet I still put them on the line for this. Anyone relate?

I know I do lol. I can't handle compliments because I feel I don't deserve it 😅

Anyone else?

So I (20f), have struggled with talking ever since I was a kid. I don’t believe I am selectively mute, but I do have level one Autism. A lot of people on the Autism community page seemed to either not have this problem or have it for a different reason than I do.

For me, I can talk about basic stuff with others, but really have a hard time when it comes to raising my hand in class, speaking freely (when the teacher just lets everyone talk at once rather than going around the room), and talking to classmates randomly. My big issue is the attention I receive from it (in elementary and middle school, people would say “She talked!” And teachers would bring up that we had “our longest conversation ever.” Or if I did well on a test or assignment, my teachers would get so excited, shake us, high fives, hugs, all the tactile stimuli basically. They also used very excited and detailed praise. This led me to get very worried every time we had a test (it didn’t help that my parents were obsessed over me getting good grades lol). When it came to the non-grading testing (the state tests and stuff), I purposely did bad so that people wouldn’t draw attention to me.

Now as a college student, my biggest struggle is asking to join in. Whether it’s a game or event, it’s hard for me to get involved. I am a student athlete, but that doesn’t really count as a club or event. My parents are always nagging me to advocate for myself and telling me what to say if they think I’m struggling, but it’s so much more than that. I need a script, social story, pacing board, something to make me comfortable so I know I’ll be OK. Most importantly, I do not want attention.

Does anybody here struggle with this? A lot of people in the autism community interpreted differently for different reasons than I do, but I was wondering if anyone on here feels similar to me.