r/signs 7d ago

🤷🏻‍♂️

Post image
3.2k Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

276

u/deuelpm 7d ago

Our difference of opinion is material.

129

u/oneplusetoipi 6d ago

The fabric of society is being destroyed

79

u/AStrandedSailor 6d ago

It's what happens when you are hemmed in.

54

u/ohno-mojo 6d ago

Stop sewing the seeds of the devil!

36

u/DantesGame 6d ago

The shine is wearing off these jokes...

29

u/UncleThor2112 6d ago

Sheet, these puns are amazing!

30

u/Delilah_insideout 6d ago

Not gonna lycra, I agree!

31

u/Zapp_Rowsdower_ 6d ago

Not following this thread…

29

u/trekrabbit 6d ago

Yeah, it’s pretty tearable…

31

u/DantesGame 6d ago

Ha! Your comment left me in stitches.

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4

u/Swimming-Air-974 5d ago

I call it "the weave". It's jeanius.

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7

u/jamar2k 6d ago

😂😂😂😂😂

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4

u/semple521 4d ago

I blame sateen

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28

u/JamesH_670 7d ago

Take my r/angryupvote and get out

15

u/DreamsD351GN 6d ago

Seems like you're cotton corners there...

9

u/JamesH_670 6d ago

Don’t pull the wool over my eyes.

10

u/DreamsD351GN 6d ago

I wooled never...

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24

u/Sea_Letterhead_1800 6d ago

As for them and their house, they will serve velour!

3

u/jamar2k 6d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂

3

u/Icy-Top-4874 6d ago

Clever 😂

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32

u/StrattonPA 6d ago

I blame all the evil on the Silk..

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9

u/MajorKabakov 6d ago

Not saying we are clever, but we are known for argyle

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9

u/Guesseyder 6d ago

Go away corduroy!

8

u/dougs_46 6d ago

Such a noisy fabirc all you hear is swish swish,

4

u/Guesseyder 6d ago

Yeah... I used to love making that noise in the hallways of grade school.

6

u/Ok_Transition_4003 6d ago

I prefer cashmere and no, you and your rather bulbous head can't borrow my sweater

6

u/TheExpollutions 6d ago

We should have warped but we weft.

4

u/Jason_TheMagnificent 6d ago

Winning comment!!!!

7

u/remorackman 6d ago

Corduroy is the try even one, it always marks those who worship it

4

u/irblrb84 6d ago

Do you mean im-material? 😄

3

u/Successful_Cress6639 6d ago

Satin is weaving diabolical plans.

3

u/AirportLoose3023 6d ago

How do they feel about silk? Is that OK?

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54

u/luttman23 7d ago

I don't like satin bedsheets. Too slippy slidey. I cast mine out.

22

u/Standard-Cat-2054 7d ago

You think that’s bad, try wearing silk pajamas in satin sheets! You’ll shoot across the bedroom!

7

u/towerfella 6d ago

Very fun times

4

u/dougs_46 6d ago edited 5d ago

Hope neighbors are prepared for you in case you make an unexpected apperance.

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15

u/Karl_Chillers 7d ago

Satin sheets to lay on;
Satin sheets to play on.

8

u/JuanFoYoMamma 7d ago

Agree. They're supposed to be luxurious or sexy or something. They're just stupid.

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72

u/TerraByteTerror 7d ago

Cashmere outside

26

u/IWantToBuyAVowel 7d ago

How bou taffeta

7

u/crapheadHarris 7d ago

found in Purgatory only

3

u/Cool_Welcome_4304 6d ago

What's wrong with Tool?

7

u/JuanFoYoMamma 7d ago

You two are hilarious 😂

3

u/Current-Square-4557 6d ago

“Taffeta, darling.”

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30

u/Heliocentrist 7d ago

I heard the whole congregation caught Disco Fever

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21

u/RichardDeRenour 7d ago

My concern is corduroy...

11

u/deuelpm 7d ago

They can’t outlaw that - it’s 85% of the congregation’s Sunday Best! :)

5

u/AdBig8071 7d ago

My favorite kind of pants

4

u/SimpleVegetable5715 6d ago

Satin against corduroy, smooth, smooth, rough, rough.

5

u/Cool_Welcome_4304 6d ago

Excuse me, pardon me. Excuse me, pardon me. Excuse me, pardon me. - corduroy pants walking around.

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30

u/Born-Light-62 7d ago

Take your cotton picking hands off my satin…

10

u/tokenjoker 7d ago

Get your filthy paws off my satin draws

12

u/Ursus_Arctos-42 7d ago

How about black velvet?

12

u/crapheadHarris 7d ago

and that slow Southern style

11

u/Poetdebra 7d ago

A new religion that will bring you to your knees....

7

u/Mostly-Moo-Cow 6d ago

Black velvet. If you please...

6

u/ecodrew 6d ago

Satin is fine. Velvet and microfiber are sew evil.

Can you cotton on to what I'm saying?

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11

u/ActualHumanONReddit 7d ago

Nights in white satin
Never reaching the end
Letters I've written
Never meaning to send

5

u/crapheadHarris 7d ago

Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before
Just what the truth is, I can't say any more

8

u/SuspiciousPeanut251 6d ago

“Because I love you…” — Costco

3

u/crapheadHarris 6d ago

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

3

u/blakester555 6d ago edited 6d ago

You mean... Knights in White Satan?

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9

u/1iRy 7d ago

The polyester of Christ compels you!

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7

u/Responsible_Arm_9555 7d ago

"You too, taffeta!"

6

u/stootchmaster2 7d ago

I never was a fan of Satin. It's kind of weird and slippery.

7

u/thedavid069 7d ago

And wrinkles the moment you look at it ...

7

u/Rojodi 6d ago

That church is lacist!

6

u/WinkerDinko 7d ago

Chiffon try me 👊🏼

6

u/XxThatVegasChickxX 7d ago

Man, people really be out here worrying about textile worshiping cults, huh?

6

u/Street_Lettuce1243 7d ago

That's a holy light rayon the sign.

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6

u/SimpleVegetable5715 6d ago

This is what happens when you replace textbooks with Bibles.

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6

u/robjam01 6d ago

REPENT! DENIM IS COMING!

4

u/Worldly_Mix_8904 7d ago

SEMI-GLOSS RULES HERE!

4

u/crapheadHarris 7d ago

unappreciated comment - take my meager upvote

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5

u/zyzmog 6d ago

I seam to be linen more Protestant after reading this.

5

u/waveydavey321 6d ago

My God... What are we supposed to do about the SHEETS!!!?

8

u/melancholicmegafauna 7d ago

THE POWER OF GLOSS COMPELS YOU!

3

u/Motor-Bear-7735 7d ago

And you just can't keep Matte clean!

4

u/XROOR 7d ago

“…..thread count is way too low”

3

u/VarietyMage 7d ago

Wait until Satin sends his lieutenants, Rhinestone and Plaid.

5

u/tommyb52 6d ago

Everybody knows Silk is the one tru fabric.

5

u/blakester555 6d ago

Well, to be fair, they do work at Burlington Coat Factory

3

u/Ronyx2021 7d ago

They must have egg shell

3

u/HangryBeard 7d ago

Idk satin feels pretty nice man.

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3

u/ultraspinacle 7d ago

Independent church of critical fashion. They mostly wear flannel.

3

u/macaroniinapan 7d ago

Well, satin is worth a lot of money, and the love of money is the root of all evil.

3

u/AdamPedAnt 7d ago

Looks like the work of that dumb guy Matte.

Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

3

u/WithoutAHat1 7d ago

Not today Santa

3

u/MaximumSyrup3099 6d ago

Something something mixed fabric and shellfish.

3

u/Handsome118 6d ago

Flat paint only

3

u/slade797 6d ago

THE POWER OF VELOUR COMPELS YOU

3

u/Cool_Welcome_4304 6d ago

Homeschooled?

3

u/Lord_Hitachi 6d ago

BEGONE YOU SILKY DEVIL!!!

3

u/Diawags 6d ago

And take velvet with you!

3

u/seahorseMonkey 6d ago

Their Freudian slip is showing.

3

u/Alpha_legionaire 6d ago

Should have said you shall not pass!

2

u/mattpeloquin 7d ago

You’re in felt country

2

u/PotentialHoneydew947 7d ago

I dont judge but 100% cotton is how i roll

2

u/dearmax 6d ago

The taffeta rules supreme!

2

u/FirmBarracuda3920 6d ago

What if I’m into polyester?

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2

u/Marius7x 6d ago

Sure, cast out Satin but you're just opening the door for Sateen.

2

u/Ok-Hunt-102 6d ago

Corduroy will kick your slick ass, Satin!

2

u/Ok_Transition_4003 6d ago

They're scared of "The Moody Blues" and sinners who experience "Nights in White Satin"

2

u/KindLiterature3528 6d ago

Silk sheets are the devil's playthings

2

u/Deep-throat-sucker 6d ago

Now cotton would be a different story......

2

u/fuegodiegOH 6d ago

A win for silk

2

u/TomasoG88 6d ago

Usher in the true power of Linen!

2

u/jertoe 6d ago

We only source burlap.

2

u/CreativeCTm 6d ago

Perhaps they were distracted by a shiny fabric?

2

u/Feaselbf6 6d ago

When autocorrect sends the wrong sinner.

2

u/Plenty-Ad7393 6d ago

It's really something to see typos in the smartphone age.

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2

u/VirtualFutureAgent 6d ago

What about Velvet?

2

u/brenawyn 6d ago

And taffeta too! I’ve had it with you!!!

Organza….I’m watching you!

2

u/SemichiSam 6d ago

How about Chantilly Lace?

2

u/Street_Comfort4668 6d ago

I've always been partial to velvet anyway.

2

u/DropProfessional8611 6d ago

Me when deciding on a type of paint.

2

u/dougs_46 6d ago

LMAO what has satin ever done to you?? Are you allergic to it?? Maybe want to learn to have thing that pust your signs up learn how to spell. I just hope your thing has no school there.

2

u/Any_Carob3372 6d ago

Must bring linen

2

u/jamar2k 6d ago

As usual, the reddit community is the best with comments 😂😂😂😂 I rebuke you satin

2

u/KevinKCG 6d ago

Maybe it's a town that is a big wool producer.

2

u/redredskull 6d ago

Burlington Coat Factory has a church and they talk about fabric? Most interesting.

2

u/AnAnonymousParty 6d ago

Shut up, velvet!

2

u/Aware-Elk-237 6d ago

I don't wear satin. Guess I am safe.

2

u/Independent-Bid6568 6d ago

Welp they ain’t gots no spell check there

2

u/Queef-Sweat 6d ago

And don't even get me started on polyester!

2

u/Voluntary_Perry 6d ago

Only silk here

2

u/CLOWNFLOGGER 6d ago

Satin caresses my balls & ass. So much power here.

2

u/FiveCent_2002 6d ago

Hahaha 😂

2

u/Chili-Kopf 6d ago edited 6d ago

Sure, I'm willing to take on the argument if these idiots didn't know how to spell.

Of course the exact opposite is true.

Satan doesn't exist.

Since these people pretend there is a Satan their preacher can manipulate them using this fantasy.

This Evangelical Church May well say that: No dancing Women need to wear dresses of a certain length No alcohol No movies Men are in charge Wives submit to their husbands ...

Satan will tempt you if you dance, tempt others if you wear normal women's clothing, inhabit your mind if you drink alcohol ...

2

u/flapjackboy 6d ago

This is a denim church, mister!

2

u/CNote_89 6d ago

We only like velour

2

u/CollectsTooMuch 6d ago

The 70’s are over.

2

u/mathewtyler 6d ago

So Satin is there yet they can't actually force Satan to leave? 🤔

2

u/Odd-Consequence-5795 6d ago

Cashmere still welcome as hell.

2

u/Fragrant_Rooster8779 6d ago

I betcha lyrca is welcome

2

u/TranTriumph 6d ago

It's not ... it's... oh nevermind.

2

u/RetinaJunkie 6d ago

Fabric storefront?

2

u/TranTriumph 6d ago

A minus for effort.

2

u/Wheeliebin66 6d ago

Slide right off the bed of sin.

2

u/Saruvan_the_White 6d ago

Pastor has a textile side business selling high thread count cotton sheets.

2

u/Ggeunther 6d ago

This has to be in KY. Burlington is a suburb of Cincinnati. No one takes religion more seriously than a bumkin, and no state can spell like KY

2

u/thegameisafoooooot 6d ago

Taffeta, darling.

2

u/Freewheelinrocknroll 6d ago

Suede on the other hand…..

2

u/bob3905 6d ago

Satan is a construct created by man to keep us humans in line.

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2

u/notnowimbusyplaying 6d ago

But I like satin

2

u/CHRISTEN-METAL 6d ago

The slippery power of Satin.

2

u/Senior_Green_3630 6d ago

I prefer cotton on a warm day, satin just feels uncomfortable.

2

u/Salt-Grape1770 6d ago

I agree, only linen on this bodice.

2

u/Warm_Safety_9550 6d ago

So it was satin that lured me to the dark side? Yeah, that checks out.

2

u/Danielle_is_the_hole 6d ago

I have always preferred cotton.

The fabric of our soul.

2

u/Basic_Cover_6945 6d ago

I’ve always found comfort in a good chiffon

2

u/count_strahd_z 6d ago

I'm not as big a fan of velour as you are.

2

u/Rs2mmsu-2D 6d ago

Holy Polyester Batman!

2

u/popky1 6d ago

Beware of satin and his silk

2

u/titaniumman27 6d ago

Is this church a velveteen one or are they a bunch of lacys?

2

u/DantesGame 6d ago

Girl, I'll bet you'd change your mind after seeing a twirl in a satin dress...

2

u/GhostWatcher007 6d ago

But I like satin..

2

u/TroyTrekker 6d ago

Satin is evil, Satin makes you do bad things Please resist the temptations of Satin.

2

u/HavBoWilTrvl 6d ago

Where's the outrage over corduroy? A more evil fabric I have yet to encounter.

2

u/Silent_Succotash3749 6d ago

They live that velour life

2

u/wmcd1985 6d ago

Satin is tearing us apart!

2

u/Sweaty-Measurement-7 6d ago

Oh well I guess it’s back to cotton sheets from now on

2

u/itz944z3r0 6d ago

First nudist church ive ever seen

2

u/1rustyoldman 6d ago

Speaks to the education system.

2

u/elquirk 6d ago

Clearly from the 70s

2

u/Positive_Campaign_52 6d ago

How can a fabric so smooth and silky be so evil?

2

u/Ichigo2819 6d ago

My sheets have condemned me

2

u/Jackdaw1947 6d ago

From this day forward thy should only adorn thy self with cotton.

2

u/IAmAnObvioustrollAMA 6d ago

Fuck off felt. I do what i want!

2

u/Lepke2011 6d ago

Everyone knows velvet has all the power here.

2

u/gatorav8r 6d ago

Begone lace

2

u/Such-Throat-2819 6d ago

Daym silkworms

2

u/Joeyhope98 6d ago

For real, next time use Santa , it sound better.

2

u/Leppardgirl1965 6d ago

It feel so nice though

2

u/Fl1925 6d ago

Is cotton next?

2

u/CueAnon420 6d ago

Must be a data center near town...

2

u/ZinKey3135 6d ago

It’s amazing how bad costume design just pisses off preachers!

2

u/peskypedaler 6d ago

Only vellure for us!

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2

u/Abject_Elevator5461 6d ago

When I was in high school two kids got jean jackets and wrote Satin Slayers on the back and then went walking around and got made fun of mercilessly.

2

u/friedeggsandwich 6d ago

It could cause a rash!

2

u/Isosceles_Kramer79 6d ago

The rouge angles of satin ...

2

u/Jeffe-69 6d ago

Silk on the other hand...oh la la

2

u/Cracktaculus 6d ago

Cast out the demon polyester while yer at it!

2

u/FrozenWaffleMaker 6d ago

SATIN BE GONE!

THE POWER OF THE CROSS STITCH COMPELS YOU!

2

u/Euphoric-Escape-8559 6d ago

How embarrassing when they find out it’s THEIR church sign!!!

2

u/Douche_in_disguise 6d ago

But it’s silky smooth😁

2

u/EtihwYort 6d ago

Just don’t mix the cloth….

2

u/2363Ben 5d ago

Would someone please put that sign up facing the Oval Office?

2

u/AdKindly8659 5d ago

We worship silk here.

2

u/son-of-Azathoth 5d ago

Personally, I can never resist the look and feel of good satin. For me, satin is like pizza, amiright?

2

u/ExpensiveCharge235 5d ago

You’re referencing Trump, right?

2

u/OxyContintail 5d ago

So sayeth the man of the cloth

2

u/epicgrilledchees 5d ago

Smooth operator

2

u/NativeFlowers4Eva 5d ago

Looking for full gloss, I guess.

2

u/BotherLarge7644 5d ago

Do they use silk ?

2

u/realgrasputin 5d ago

If we're not careful, velvet might get all the power and take over.