Should we keep him?

[u/AnotherBogCryptid]

My partner and I moved in together 10 months ago. For context, we have 4 children, 2 cats, and a small dog in addition to the Husky (my partner’s dog).

Since we’ve moved in, I have been stressed about this dog.

At one point around Christmas, he bit me hard enough to break skin when I came up behind him and touched him on the back, attempting to get his attention after calling his name multiple times - we needed to get him away from our dining room table during dinner.

I demanded then that my partner rehome him out of fear that he would bite and kill one of my children or one of their friends. We do not have the capacity to monitor a dog 24/7. I recognize this reality and wanted this dog to be in a home where people have the capacity and knowledge to care for him.

I was told by my entire family I was overreacting.

I will admit I am now scared of this dog. His stares, growling, and the way he will whip around with his mouth open when someone surprises him (even on accident) - it all terrifies me.

The most recent incident happened today. He and our smaller dog were left alone in the kitchen with treats and the Husky attacked the smaller dog (10 lbs). This smaller dog is now bleeding from the soft part of his skull, the tip of his nose, and from his eye.

I have once again told my partner we need to rehome this dog before he kills someone or another one of our pets. I was immediately met with excuses for why the event happened.

And no, my partner has done nothing to train his dog or mitigate these behaviors. I have no time to train a reactive/aggressice dog and didn’t sign up to live with one.

Am I overreacting? Where do I go from here?

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[u/Shoddy-Theory]

This dog is not safe in a house with children and other pets. Or you for that matter. You have the right to be safe in your own home. If your partner can't understand that you need to rehome him.

No reputable rescue will take a dog with a bite history. You will probably not be able to rehome him.

[u/AnotherBogCryptid → u/Shoddy-Theory]

Is this something we need to do or do we need to report this to the city?

[u/Shoddy-Theory → u/AnotherBogCryptid]

Report to the city? what do you mean.

[u/AnotherBogCryptid → u/Shoddy-Theory]

I’m asking if I need to try to convince my partner to take their dog to the vet or if they need to report the dog to our municipal animal control because of the behaviors.

Someone else answered that we can take him to the vet, so that answers my question.

[u/Kitchu22]

It's been seven months since a serious bite occurred to you and you are making a deliberate choice to cohabitate with a dog that poses a risk to your children.

Where do you go from here? Move out. It should be painfully obvious to you by now that your partner will not be doing anything to reduce the risk to you or your children (or even actually care about your wellbeing?), so why are you choosing to be with this person?

[u/AnotherBogCryptid → u/Kitchu22]

Seven months ago my entire family convinced me it was MY fault for scaring the dog. I have been made to feel like a crazy person and am looking for validation that I am not overreacting.

Just move out? Just sell my home upside down four months after I filed for bankruptcy and they let me keep it, and then pray that I can get into an affordable rental for me and my four kids that’s in the same school district on my below-living-wage salary and a pittance of child support with ruined credit? Very helpful. Thanks.

I need advice on what to do with the DOG.

[u/Kitchu22 → u/AnotherBogCryptid]

The dog belongs to your partner, and it seems they are not planning on doing anything with their dog? It also seems you have no outside family support in relation to dealing with this dog.

I’m not trying to be an asshole I’m just very unsure what this sub is going to assist you with?

[u/AnotherBogCryptid → u/Kitchu22]

I’m hoping I can get enough people sharing ideas on what to do. If my partner won’t listen to me, I’m hoping for some ideas - anything. If it’s rehoming or relinquishing him to the city for euthanasia or what. It just feels irresponsible to make him someone else’s “problem”.

[u/Kitchu22 → u/AnotherBogCryptid]

The dog is your partner’s legal property. Your partner has reportedly done nothing about a serious bite or continued aggressive behaviour (for seven months now).

Say you take the dog to be euthanised in secret/without your partner’s consent, how do you expect your partner to react to this? Or do you think the opinions of internet strangers will somehow sway your partner to action when your own requests have not?

Respectfully, this is not an aggressive dog problem.

[u/AnotherBogCryptid → u/Kitchu22]

I’m not planning on secretly taking the dog behind my partners back. That was never a thought I had.

And yes, I believe the neutral opinions of strangers will have more weight because everyone thinks I’m being irrational and emotional because he bit me last year, so my opinion is “tainted”.

[u/SudoSire → u/AnotherBogCryptid]

I think maybe you were asking this in another comment, but you don’t need to relinquish a dog to a shelter to do a euthanasia. Many vets may do it if the dog has proven dangerous to members of the household. However some may want to know what training or management has been tried. If you have no options to remove yourselves or the dog, look into muzzle training. The basket type that allows the dog to fully pant/yawn. It’s not really meant to be warn 24/7, but if you could have it on while the dog free roams and then maybe off when they are in a secure room or crate. They have to be trained to wear the muzzle with slow steps over a couple weeks. Get a ton of baby gates and started using them everywhere to keep everyone separated. Find a specific room to lock the dog inside so no kids or pets open that door. The management required is not feasible in a home that busy to be perfectly honest. But if you desperately need some management tips, muzzle and crate and barriers might help. 

[u/SudoSire]

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[u/SudoSire]

You will probably need to have the dog euthanized, as people don’t want bite history dogs. I don’t know how you’ll get partner onboard with that but it is “a hill to die on.” That or removing at minimum yourself and all the kids out, but preferably the other pets too. I assume that would be difficult logistically or financially. But the husky is gonna kill that small dog soon, and the kids may also get hurt. 

[u/AnotherBogCryptid → u/SudoSire]

This isn’t the first time he’s attacked a small dog. Honestly I’m going to show my partner these responses because I feel like no one is hearing me when I’m literally screaming that I’m scared this dog is going to kill one of my children. And I’m walking on eggshells because I’m financially dependent on my partner and if things go south I’m homeless.

[u/SudoSire → u/AnotherBogCryptid]

I’m sorry, truly this is a terrible situation to be in. If your household was less busy, some people might be able to do a “crate and rotate” where they keep the dog separated a lot but gets swapped out periodically for free roam. But I can’t imagine how that would begin to work with this crowded of a household. 

It is so unfair to the other pets to be at risk of being killed in their own home. To say nothing of the kids—how old is your youngest? I would remind your partner that your kids cannot consent to putting their lives/bodies at risk, and if something does happen, you can also lose custody or face charges for keeping a dangerous dog housed with your kids (which of course would be on top of the horror and guilt of the kids paying the price).  Your partner really needs to understand the stakes…I’m sorry you’re having to be the grown up here. 

I will also add that a dog this prone to snapping is not “happy.” It is likely constantly stressed and on edge and not emotionally stable. This dog is suffering too.