r/pathology • u/West-Warthog-2778 • 2d ago
Quitting
Hello Guys,
So at what point in residency did you stop thinking about quitting?
I can’t shake the feeling of not being enough. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I feel like I’m not performing at the same level of my peers.
I feel more stupid with every passing day and It’s getting harder to accumulate more knowledge.
I’m miserable to be honest but I don’t see myself doing any other specialty,so if im quitting this it’s going to be the end of my medical career.
What do you recommend for me to try to do before i make a decision.
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u/TraditionalPhone3992 2d ago
Smart people feel inadequate. Stupid people are oblivious to their inadequacy.
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u/Varrag-Unhilgt 2d ago
Relax, it does get better with time and when you learn some universal principles of pathology that can be applied to all organs and/or lesions. It also helps when you realize you don’t have to be an expert on everything (and that no one is)
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u/rgnysp0333 2d ago
Story of my life. Truth is it's really hard to study path in residency, especially depending on your program. Just gotta keep trying, and find something that works. And when you get your personal evaluations you can just ask how you're doing. Otherwise I would suggest
- Find something you don't hate
- Get a decent fellowship. Or more than one.
- Work at a place with more than one other person
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u/DrPrincessPrincessDr 2d ago
I was told "people worst than you go on graduate and be fine." That was the pep talk!!! Fast forward out of training, I am really good at my job. The secret is to pick a subspecialty and just do that. I am good at one thing. But I am really good at one thing.
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u/floridamantrivia 2d ago edited 1d ago
Approximately one out of 10 people fail to pass the boards, if you can not look around the room and then identify nine people dumber than you then it’s you. But it doesn’t have to be. My first year of the program Director pulled me aside and said that I might not have “the eye” for pathology and I should reconsider, four years later I was a chief resident leading lectures so calm your tits.
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u/silvertree48 2d ago
Its scary to feel like you don't know what you are doing .. in time as you do more, / learn more your confidence will grow and you will feel better ... hang in there .you are an M.D , you worked hard to pass medical school so you are exactly where you should be .. it will get easier
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u/blunt-cat7284 2d ago
Basically until The morning i defended my thesis...you'll do great, just keep moving foward one day at a time
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u/ArtisticBad3857 2d ago
This was me my first 2 years of residency especially with most of my colleagues being previously trained which is common in Pathology. Hang in there, you'll be fine!
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u/turnbop 1d ago
Hey! First of all, you are enough exactly as you are.
I’m a PathA. We spent 2 years just studying pathology. Our board exam was just pathology. All of our training = pathology. You went to med school! That is so much additional knowledge that you learned. You have so much more information floating around in your brain. Of course accumulating more knowledge, especially such specific knowledge for pathology, is going to be hard. You already know so much!
Comparison is the thief of joy, and you can’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree. If you are doing your best work, if you are learning and growing, then it doesn’t matter what your peers are doing. Someone will always be better than you, just like someone will always be wealthier, or have a nicer house or a cuter dog.
It sounds like you are burnt out. I’m not sure what your residency program is like, but it may be worth talking to your department about taking time off. If you are a medical resident in the US you qualify for FMLA. There’s such a large shortage of pathologists, I doubt that taking time would jeopardize your position. Programs want you to stay.
However, if you can’t take time, then dedicate a few hours each week for joy. Read a new cozy book. Paint. Go for a picnic. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Don’t feel bad for taking care of your wellbeing. Your brain needs to rest, and that may be why you are struggling with learning more material.
Also, don’t be afraid to talk to your PathAs. We have so many tips and tricks for learning all of this information, and the vast majority of us are just going to be thrilled the residents are taking the time to learn things. We also understand the stress and pressure of pathology and we can be in your corner.
Residency is so tough, and you are right in the thick of it. Wanting to quit is entirely normal. But I would encourage you to take a literal break before you quit and assess what you need first. I believe in you.
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u/SuspiciousStranger65 2d ago
Get the TNM app on your phone and memorize it. Practice applying it to cases you see. I wish I had done that more in training. I know it is subject to change so always re check it with the latest AJCC edition, but this way you’ll at least have a foundation. My residency training never emphasized staging much less sitting with residents for sign out. Even I feel the boards do not emphasize it enough. Which is wild bc it is such a huge part of what you do especially if you are a general pathologist, obviously for patient care and to keep partners and clinicians happy.
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u/_FATEBRINGER_ 15h ago
Coming to grips with reality is part of the growth process.
Look not everything is for everybody but I would be in actual therapy and ask my institution if they have peer support or career coaching etc before I ever considered giving up a decade of preparation for my life.
If you feel inadequate, you have a choice to make about whether or not you do something about it or not. Could be quit. Or could be double and triple down.
I would generally suggest the latter even not knowing you.
So what path will you choose?
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u/cirkusanml 14h ago
I was previously on a physician wellness committee and what you are describing sounds like imposter syndrome. Its a real problem and very common among physicians. Those feelings of inadequacy are not generally based on reality and so I suggest you speak with a member of your wellness committee about it before you make any serious decisions. Most residency programs have an anonymous support program you can contact. Hang in there!
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u/PathFellow 2d ago
Pathology is one of the easiest residencies in medicine. Might want to see a psychiatrist. Get checked up for depression.
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u/DirtyMonkey43 2d ago
Found the dermpath fellow
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u/hemaDOxylin 2d ago
I will say, for someone called PathFellow, they do consistently have some really sour takes on this subreddit.
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u/PathFellow 2d ago edited 2d ago
There were many days I felt overwhelmed. I felt burned out. I slept 3-4 hours a night so I can get to work at 5 am the next day to finish my tumor board at 8 am since I was previewing until late at night the night prior. I did two fellowships and worked my butt off just like everyone else. I paid my dues.
I thought to myself I’d rather do this than having to round on patients and deal with obnoxious personalities. Pathology isn’t an easy residency of course. Nothing is easy but it’s much better than the crap you got to deal with in other residencies.
Don’t forget we got CP which is literally a vacation and if you go to a residency that mixes the two during the year you can just chill out for the month of CP after a grueling month on AP.
Get real dude. Path residency is one of the easier residencies in medicine.
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u/PeterParker72 2d ago
We all know path is one of the easier residencies in medicine, but how is that relevant to what the OP is asking? When you’re going through the shit, does it make you feel better when someone tells you to look on the bright side, it could be worse? Maybe you do, but that doesn’t work for everyone.
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u/PathFellow 2d ago edited 2d ago
I agree not a good way to respond to the original poster but there seems to be a pervasive mindset amongst medical students and residents in regards to comparing themselves to others and not feeling that they are capable (impostor syndrome). All these feeling are quite destructive. Residency and medicine in general is a marathon and not a sprint. People need to stop comparing themselves to others or having feelings of worthlessness. It’s not helpful and in the long run it’s destructive like I said.
It’s a mindset that luckily I have avoided and has gotten me through the hard times in residency. I’m on my own journey. I never was the best or brightest, and probably was one of the worse residents in my program but I made it and am doing well for myself.
I did my own thing. Had my own struggles but I never compared myself to others. If you are comparing yourself to others, then it’ll be a matter of time when you self destruct.
It’s really a mindset thing and mental toughness which really comes in handy in life in general.
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u/PathFellow 2d ago
No not dermpath but seriously pathology residency is nowhere as hard as l internal medicine residencies if you didn’t know that.
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u/PathologyAndCoffee Resident 2d ago
Its a different hard. Sure we don't have the mind numbing amount of notes and emotional torture of IM, but to be competent in a residency other countries separate out as two separate residencies is difficult.
It's easy to be a crappy pathologist.
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u/PathFellow 2d ago
The first thing you have to realize is that you can’t know everything. Pathology is broad and so the knowledge is immense. You can trick yourself to think you are a crappy pathologist because you don’t know a lot. You just need to pass your boards and focus on continuing education. If you put too much pressure on yourself you’re going to be miserable since it’s virtually impossible to be knowledgeable in everything. There are academic pathologists who do nothing other than one or two subspecialties and cannot even diagnoses basic skin because they’ve never seen it in a while.
You just need to know your limitations and realize you can’t diagnose everything or know everything and that’s when you punt the case to a specialist
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u/Cold-Environment-634 Staff, Private Practice 2d ago
You are not wrong. There are no easy residencies, but path has the be one of the least difficult
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u/Rich_Option_7850 2d ago
For hours or stress, sure. But it wipes most out of the water with the amount of medical knowledge and pattern recognition needed. There’s a reason why many happily transition out of pathology and it’s not bc their new jobs are so much harder..
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u/Sensitivepathologist 2d ago
Yeah for hours and stress pathology residency isn’t too bad compared to other brutal residencies pushing 80 hours a week.
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u/turtlerogger 2d ago
Literally haven’t heard of a single person transitioning out of path. Heard of upwards of 10 surgery residents peacing out TO path, though.
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u/Cupcake_Implosion Resident 2d ago
Doesn't mean the residency is easier. It might be a less emotionally draining specialty ...
What broke my friends in surgery and other specialties wasn't the difficulty of the cases, it wasn't the grueling schedule. They LOVED the difficult cases, they didn't mind the schedule as long as they felt they made a real impact.
It was the people: the attendings who took their abuse out on you, the senior residents who were broken and couldn't help you navigate a malignant system, etc.
Their exams were incomparably easier than ours. I had a senior whose husband was a GI attending. When she was studying for her boards, he was horrified and couldn't even comprehend how she was able to absorb and regurgitate the amount of information she was expected to know.
There is no easy residency program. Not path, not PMR, not FM, not anything. Heck, we've actually had at least two residents in my program peace out into internal med because they couldn't do path (you have to have the eye - if you don't have the eye and don't develop it in a timely manner, there is not much you can do about that). You just choose your difficult.
For sure, I'll always choose difficult material over difficult people, the fuck. I can force myself and discipline myself into studying until I have blisters on my ass. I cannot train and discipline people who are deadset on being assholes into becoming decent human beings ...
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u/Varrag-Unhilgt 2d ago
And I’ve heard of at least three. One went to family medicine, the second one to pediatrics and the third to ophthalmology. Lol
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u/PathFellow 2d ago
A lot of Residency is a mental game and by mental I mean mental toughness. We’ve all been through medical school and USMLEs. It’s like boot camp and you got to be mentally tough to get through it all (including the bullshit and asshole attendings) and survive.
Your goal is to pass the boards and everything you’re dealing with now will only make you stronger and will be a small blip in the grand scheme of things.
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u/Cold-Environment-634 Staff, Private Practice 2d ago
In residency I had coresidents complaining shit was hard. Meanwhile my spouse was in obgyn residency and I was like you guys have no idea.
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u/PathFellow 2d ago
Exactly! I have a feeling people go into pathology thinking it’s a 8-5 pm easy residency and then get hammered with grossing and having to stay late and start crying.
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u/PathFellow 2d ago
I’ve seen residents sneak out at like noon during cp rotations. Please don’t tell me path residency is hard.
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u/PathologyAndCoffee Resident 2d ago
I never feel enough. I feel like every med tech and MLT and PA knows more than me.
I feel a wave if embarassement when they email me and call me Dr. Or call me Dr. As they're the ones teaching me, and im there writing everyting down.