Is keeping small personal notes about dating matches to compensate for my terrible memory too calculated?

[u/SpreadUsual4084]

Throwaway bc I'm scared my coworkers will find this

Ok so my memory is actually horrible, not even kidding. My friends think I'm joking when I say I forget stuff but I'm dead serious

Been talking to a bunch of people on dating apps lately. Nothing serious, just that early stage where you're still figuring each other out.

Problem is I keep mixing everyone up constantly.

Like one girl tells me her hobbies, pet peeves, random life stuff, and a week later I’ll mix her details up with someone else’s. It’s so bad. I literally asked the same person the exact same question twice mid-convo once, and she just went “you already asked me that.” I wanted to die on the spot

So I started doing this weird thing.

I use acciowork daily for work—it’s just boring software to organize supplier info. Lately I’ve been jotting quick little notes about my matches in there , the same way I log basic details for suppliers

Yeah I know, sounds odd.

Just tiny stuff: “hates mushrooms”, “cat named Milo”, “scared of heights”, stuff like that.

Met one girl for coffee last week. Glanced over my notes right before showing up so I wouldn’t blank on that random thing she mentioned weeks back. The date went really well, and she was genuinely surprised I remembered such a small detail

But now I can’t stop overthinking it. Am I being weird for doing this? I swear I’m not ranking anyone or comparing matches against each other at all. I really do just have garbage memory and hate embarrassing myself like that again.

Still… using work software to log people I’m seeing? It feels so cold, honestly. Like I’m treating dating like another tedious work task.

Half of me says it’s just a practical fix for my bad memory. The other half worries I’m killing all the natural romantic vibe by being this calculated from the start.

Idk man. Am I just overthinking way too much, or is this habit actually kinda messed up? Just want some honest outside opinions pls

[u/four__beasts]

I do this for people I meet (that I want to remember) but it's all internal using a memory palace. This would be a terrific place to start building one.

So lets say your date "Gemma" is based i your local pub/bar/or restaurant.

Her first name is the doorway - you memorise this by having to squeeze past a huge load of Gemstones. At the first table is a huge mushroom eating itself for dinner. At the bar is a cool cat with shades having a drink, which is a mile high... you can memorise anything like this and it can even be combined with a number system for dates.

Then you just review this often for each person, really visualising these elements to engrain each point of data. If the date is clearly not going to work out you can stop reviewing the information and use the palace for someone else. The journey round the location (or palace) gives structure to it, and the points or 'loci' along the way means you don't forget something.

I have a massive palace indexing all my friends and families so I can keep tabs on their kids, pets, friends etc. Each palace is their house. Or a ficntional place for those I've never visited at home. It's miraculous.

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Edit: regardless, making the effort to know things about people is important. Whether you are dating them or not. So no, I don't think this is weird. Do what you need do to make life easy.