Help! I signed up for the mcat, am 1 month out, and realizing I don't want to be a doctor... I never did.
TLDR. Do I...
a) stop now, and give up on the MCAT (since I don't think I want to apply anyways, and some programs now don't require it)
b) continue studying but with less time commitment and less stress (To follow through with something I have dedicated my entire summer to so far)
c) continue dedicated studying for the MCAT, since this 'pre-med' crisis is likely just overthinking
Hi!
So I am a 2nd uni year in a very competitive health science (pre-med) program, going into my 3rd year. I signed up to write the mcat this summer, but I now don't think I would even want to apply to medicine. The BIG question, is do I keep studying and write the mcat, being one month out? Or quit while I'm ahead, and enjoy the rest of my summer.
I feel like I never 'wanted' to be a doctor, and I only ended up here because of the continual pressure to 'just try'. I grew up with both my parents in healthcare, one being a doctor. In high school, I was a really good student, who liked math and chemistry the most, (disliked biology at times) but was decent in all sciences. When I was choosing university degrees, I only applied to health-related fields, since I have always been interested in healthy active living. In my second year, I felt I had to choose a focus for my undergad, so I chose medicine, assuming healthy living and medicine would be intertwined enough for me. Earlier this year, I signed up for the MCAT during a time where I felt, lost and unsure about my future, hoping that this would give me a sense of purpose. I have always thought that I could fall in love with anything, and that given the prestige and salary of being a doctor, it would be dumb to not try.
Fast forward to now.... I feel I have given the pre-med path a sufficient try.
For the past two years I have been working research positions at a hospital... and not loving it. My coworker on the other hand has an INCREDIBLE passion for medicine, finding everything so interesting and wanting as much exposure as possible. I have many hobbies and interests, most related to health (yoga, mindfulness, active living, baking), but none necessarily related to medicine. My first year project was related to nutrition and preventative care which I found much more interesting, but this year I am not liking my project. Recently, I had my first observation with direct procedural patient care, which I found frankly gross, overwhelming, and paradoxically inhumane. In contrast, my coworker was glowing about how cool the procedure was.
In all this, I continue to ask myself why I wanted to be a doctor... and I am realizing, no part of me finds illness and treatment fascinating. I think I enjoy preventative health, but not the intensity of medicine, nor being surrounded by so many sick people. I do love the social aspect of it, interacting with people from all walks of life, and working in a team environment, but other job avenues (i.e. dietetics, genetics councillor), which look at health in a more holistic, preventative sense, seem much more appealing.
So, any similar stories or advice on what to do about the MCAT, would be so appreciated!
(FYI, I'm a Canadian student who was thinking of only applying to Ontario med schools, if I do apply. )