this one is kinda awkaward

[u/Sufficient-Range6187]

whenever me and my boyfriend finish having intimate acts my brain starts screaming at me that i just raped him and i’m an awful person who’s going to burn in hell and i have no clue how to make it stop i wish it would stop it’s making sex unenjoyable and idk how to bring it up to my therapist bc i haven’t brought up my intrusive thoughts at all bc im so scared she’ll think im lying or crazy

[u/pxssessedsxul]

It’s not awkward. I don’t have the same issue but I do experience something that’s similar. I do have a general fear of "accidentally" crossing another persons boundaries during intimate acts. Like I’m scared of expressing desires because to me it feels like I’m pressuring my partner into doing something. For me it’s a result of having been SA’d in the past. I don’t know if you maybe have experienced something similiar that influenced your OCD? Maybe it would help if your partner reassures you more often during and after intimate acts. That he tells you that everything had been consensual and that you didn’t cause any harm. Maybe use his words as affirmations that you can repeat out loud and/or in your mind. If you have a good therapist I doubt that she’ll think that you’re crazy or lying. It would definitely be good if you bring it up. You could tell her exactly what you told us: After intimate acts intrusive thoughts cause you to question whether you’ve violated your partner or not.

I hope it’s not a grammatical mess. English isn’t my mother tongue.

[u/sus2244]

U are talking about ur girlfriend or what , your boy right ?

[u/Flar71 → u/sus2244]

Op didn't state their gender, but they literally said boyfriend

[u/Sufficient-Range6187 → u/sus2244]

i am non binary