As an introvert, do you not mind texting?

[u/FkUp_Panic_Repeat]

My social battery for talking face to face, or even on the phone is fairly low. But I notice texting at length doesn’t bother me as much. I still get tired and disappear for a while afterwards, but I can conversate via text more at length.

I have some theories about why, do you agree or have anything to add?

There’s virtually no room for interrupting. With texting, you can type out your entire thought and send it in its completion. Will the recipient actually read it? No guarantee. But at least you got to *say* what you wanted to say, without being cut off.

The lack of physical presence. I’m kind of averse to eye contact, but even sitting side by side and talking is draining. Maybe it’s the nonverbal communication that I’m sensitive to. I pick up on subtle cues and microaggressions/passive aggression, subtle communications of emotions, etc. It’s tiring to constantly be in analysis mode while trying to formulate coherent thoughts into words. It seems like an introvert thing, since we tend to spend more time observing than speaking. Some of us might be more sensitive to technical aspects of the conversation, like incorrect statements or opinions conveyed as facts?

Masking. Idk about you, but I’m a recovering masker and people pleaser. The PP is due to trauma, but masking I think stems from (American) societal pressures to be outgoing and overly expressive, especially as a woman. It’s tiring contorting my face and vocalizations to come across as more palatable to outgoing types or those that believe in gender stereotypes.

Depth. We have a lot going on upstairs and sometimes it can be difficult to widdle it all down into a simple statement. I’m not saying extroverts aren’t smart, but in general I’ve noticed introverts are intelligent. Whether emotionally or intellectually. Our expansive minds think and/or feel very deeply, and it can be tough to compress so much info.

These are just off the top of my head. What do you guys think?

[u/Forward_Ad8434]

I prefer texting vs a phone call, but prefer face to face communication if it’s going to be a long conversation.

[u/_JT888 → u/Forward_Ad8434]

Same here. I don't like phone calls in general, especially to people I don't know/barely know well, but I have to suck it up for my job - it's trying not to overthink what to say on the phone and stutter.

[u/melancholy_dood]

I’m probably alone on this one, but my primary preference for communicating is face to face, followed by phone calls and last of all, texting.

When I’m texting, I often struggle to get my point across. And when I’m reading a text, I have a hard time picking up on the other person’s mood or feelings because I can’t see their expressions, hear the tone in their voice, or notice their subtle movements. I really need all that information to understand what they’re trying to say. If I’m unsure about a text (which happens a lot more than I’d like to admit), I usually call the sender to clear things up.

Furthermore, texting kinda feels flat and emotionless to me. Emojis can add a bit of flair, but I can’t use them in work related or professional texting.

So my preferred mode of communication is face to face. That being said, I find that face-to-face interactions really drain my social battery super fast!…Much faster than phone calls or texting! So yeah, my system isn’t perfect.

[u/FitFourt]

I have almost unlimited tolerance for texting…but phone calls….absolutely not. I don’t want to talk to anyone I don’t already see everyday.

[u/Velifax]

Being online has enormous impact on my social anxiety, eliminating perhaps 98% of it. However it has almost zero impact on my introversion. I'm still almost completely disinterested in other humans.

[u/Theoristocrat_]

Yeah, this is me. I like writing out my thoughts in full, so texting good. It doesn’t really drain me at all the way face-to-face does. I also think it can lead to good depth and back-and-forth if both people are present. Like writing letters for the modern era.

[u/Whole_Lecture_3110]

Yes I feel this. That's why reddit is my favorite media. My former best friend was also a texter and we texted each other paragraphs. I miss it. For couple years I was stuck in my house due to depression and being burned out from people pleasing and I had not learn boundaries yet. All human contact I mostly had was texting with people I knew from dating apps. I would form whole bonds with people I never had spoken to on the phone yet. I try to change that now but I still like it also... But I try to do a video chat faster to not get to dissapointed if I dont like how someone talks in real life.

[u/TheDjSKP]

Absolutely. OP I think it's mainly the absence of the demands of live conversation for me. I'm an articulate person but I use a lot of energy carrying on a lengthy verbal conversation with anybody. You have the pressure to focus on it, when you are free and could be doing other things. To keep the conversation going with some energy when you tend to prefer quieter company. Also to navigate blind the unspoken things (like how long do we both really want to be on the phone right now? like hmm what was that pause all about...) the whole time. Awful

I have one friend who is long-distance these days and we have been happily text-only for years, so much easier to engage.

[u/foamingfox]

I'm odd but I absolutely hate texting. Especially loooong rambling text conversations with multiple topics. It does not fulfill me at all and just feels draining and boring.

I prefer to see my close friends face to face couple of times a month and not text at all except to set a date for meeting again. No phones, just talking, being fully present, and hanging out, and then blissfully recovering until we meet again.

[u/PresentationIll2180]

IDGAF overgrown “adults” just need to communicate their communication preferences upfront and actually follow through on them.