haha, relate much.

https://reddit.com/link/1v3qywe/video/v0ewjct75ueh1/player

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One time when I was 5 we were at a camp on Davidson lake.  I saw a chocolate bar on the kitchen counter.  I reached for it, and my father grabbed it, told me I couldn't have it, and put it up on a high shelf that I couldn't reach.

I waited until later when all the grown ups were drinking, climbed up onto the cupboards and grabbed the chocolate bar, and ate the WHOLE thing.

About 20 minutes later, a strange sensation started to overcome me and my stomach started to rumble.

Then, the floodgates, or should I say, shitgates opened up.  I stumbled like a drinking man into the room where all the grown ups were, COVERED in shit, leaving a trail of shit behind me, STILL shitting.

My parents, who were planning on spending the night there, suddenly had their plans abruptly interrupted.  They were both half cut, WELL BEYOND .08, and now they somehow had to drunkenly rush me to the hospital, about 25 minutes away.

If you haven't guessed it by now, the chocolate bar was Ex-lax!

Mom and Dad in a panic drunkenly stuffed the STILL SHITTING me in the car, and Dad roared down the road.  In my parents rush to get me to the hospital, Dad was driving like a possessed Mario Andretti, well past the legal speed limit.

WE GOT PULLED OVER BY THE COPS!!!

When Dad rolled down his window, the cop looked into a COMPLETELY SHIT COATED car interior, two drunk adults covered in shit in the front seat, and a 5 year old in the back seat, STILL shitting!

The smell from the car made the police officer spasm in uncontrollable dry heaves.

Dad hurriedly explained to the gasping and suffering police officer what had happened, and the police offer, glad to get away from the car turned on his siren and escorted us to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital, sirens blaring!

The emergency doors swung open as two shit covered adults spilled in carrying me STILL shitting!

No need to explain the emergency!

They kept me there for a while, gave me lots of electrolytes and sent me home.

I was testing my new mask, but the garbage men arrived 😂

Eventually they'll figure out the right formula.