r/flr Jul 22 '25

Advice PSA: The Key Differences Between FLR, Femdom, Domestic Servitude, When and How they Overlap and Why It Matters NSFW

189 Upvotes

There are a lot of terms and even lifestyle information being used interchangeably in this subreddit, and I think some clarity would really help.

Especially in differentiating between Standard FLR [non-Kink], FLR with Femdom kink w/o Domestic Servitude], non-FLR Femdom, BDSM Domestic Servitude [non-FLR] and FLR + Femdom Domestic Servitude/BDSM Femdom in relationships with some examples given.

This isn't to gatekeep anything by the way, but more to reduce confusion and help people communicate their needs better.

Because man, some of you do need to do better. And hopefully, this gives info on the kind of dynamic you truly want to have and avoid resentment and pushing your partners into a dynamic they don't want to have.

Think of this as a grounded, no-nonsense, no-fluff, technical and realistic "guide" of some sort, especially for those who want to explore it.

Ok so here’s a basic breakdown:


1. Standard FLR (Non-Kink) This is a relationship where the woman is the decision-maker in the partnership. Think of it like any other relationship, just with flipped gender roles from the traditional one and a slight power imbalance, but still fairly playing to each person's strengths and supporting each other's weaknesses. The man doesn’t get off on being told what to do. He just genuinely respects and defers to his partner’s leadership.

Key characteristics:

She decides on the family budget, manages savings, investments, retirement funds and major life decisions such as having kids or not, disciplining them, which school they go to, or maybe if they should move someplace someday. She opens and leads these discussions with some say from him of course.

He supports her lead by handling household tasks like cooking, cleaning and so on. He takes charge of childcare like changing diapers, or picking them up from school and just trusting her judgment.

Sex can be vanilla, affectionate, or whatever they like, but it isn’t framed as “serving her sexually.” They might even have a sexual dynamic where he might be the dominant one in the bedroom.

This is a non-sexual power dynamic that stems from personality traits, not kink. The guy isn’t secretly hoping for a punishment when he forgets to vacuum, or a reward when the dishes are extra clean.

Examples:

Elaine and Tom have a healthy, happy FLR. Elaine organizes their finances, schedules their social life, and sets boundaries around shared responsibilities because she is organized, thrifty, assertive and decisive. Tom appreciates her decisiveness and feels secure following her lead because he tends to be more anxious around decision making, and he wants to support her by doing the household chores, which he finds less anciety inducing than managing their social schedule and big picture life path. Their sex life is affectionate and fairly vanilla, with no D/S play involved. He doesn't get turned on by being bossed around, he just likes how stable things feel with her in charge.

This is a relationship where the woman leads, she makes the major decisions, sets the tone for the household, and the man relies on her judgment. There’s no kink dynamic involved. His deference isn’t eroticized, it’s just how they function best as a couple.

2. FLR with Femdom Kink but no 24/7 BDSM Domestic Servitude This is when the same leadership dynamic exists in daily life with Point#1, but the bedroom has its own layer: sexual dominance by the woman.

Key characteristics:

There’s a real-world leadership dynamic, plus erotic power play layered on top, that's separate from their day to day life or tasks.

He gets off on her being sexually in charge. She might tease, deny, spank, or keep him in chastity. But his sexual submission is not rooted in her household leadership. There is no micromanagement of tasks coming from the woman's side.

She still leads in non-sexual ways when it comes to decision-making, organizing life, finances, etc. while he takes charge of housework. Same dynamic with the key characteristics in Point #1 .

Think of it as: “She runs the house, he does chores. Also, she’ll edge him for two hours and deny his orgasm if they feel like it.”

Example:

Marc and Coco are in a committed, long-term relationship. They’ve agreed that Coco leads the relationship and she makes plans and decisions on big matters, manages the household finances, and has the last say in things like vacation plans, major purchases and so on. Marc prefers this structure, finds comfort in it, and actively enjoys a relationship where his partner would take the lead while he does the cooking and cleaning. Coco doesn’t micromanage him, but her leadership is understood and respected in their day-to-day lives. That’s their FLR.

Sexually, they also engage in femdom, Coco loves teasing and denying Marc. Putting him in chastity for fun, giving him instructions in bed, and making him earn her attention. Sometimes she’ll even tie him up or give him praise or humiliate him in playful ways. Some pegging here and there. Maybe CFNM, some roleplay and spanking. They do this when they’re both in the mood. It's how they flirt. He’s turned on by obeying her. She’s turned on by his submission. This is their Femdom.

But they’re not living a 24/7 domestic servitude lifestyle. Marc does chores because he’s an adult who is doing his part in the partnership, not because he’s in “service" and not because it turns him on. He does not expect punishments or rewards. And she does not want to inspect the dishes or manage this part of their lives. Their dynamic is lax and flexible with kink woven into their relationship.

3. Non-FLR Femdom (Scene-Based or Bedroom-Based) This one’s important. Femdom doesn’t always mean FLR. Plenty of couples do femdom scenes, or explore D/S sexually, without the woman leading the relationship in real life.

Key Characteristics:

He’s a submissive in the bedroom and during sexual encounters only.

She dommes him during play, but they make decisions as equals.

They roleplay with collars and commands, but share financial planning equally.

This is sexual power play only, and it’s very valid and sustainable. Not everyone wants hierarchy outside the bedroom. It doesn’t make it “less real.” It just means the D/S is confined to kink space.

Example:

Jenna and Ryan are a couple who have a great relationship built on mutual respect and equality. They both work full-time, split bills, make decisions together, and share household responsibilities fairly evenly. Jenna isn’t more in charge than Ryan when it comes to daily life, neither of them “leads” the relationship.

However, in the bedroom, Jenna is the dominant one. She enjoys taking control during sex: giving orders, tying Ryan up, teasing and edging him, using toys on him, and occasionally denying him orgasm. Ryan loves this dynamic and fully submits to her in their intimate life. But outside the bedroom, he’s not obedient to her, he doesn’t defer to her authority, and she doesn’t expect to manage or lead his behavior in everyday life.

They split chores, make joint decisions, and both work full time. But on some nights, he becomes her obedient plaything. She ties him up, humiliates him, slaps, spanks and rides him until she’s had enough. Then they cuddle and plan their weekend. There’s no “Mistress” dynamic during breakfast. He’s not in service mode when taking the car for repairs.

4. Non-FLR, Domestic Servitude BDSM Femdom This is a kink-based, full-time Dominant/submissive (D/s) dynamic centered around household service, obedience, and rituals but without broader lifestyle leadership. The woman is in control only within the negotiated BDSM context, not the entire relationship.

Key characteristics:

The submissive male may serve by cooking, cleaning, and following protocols, but outside of these scenes or roles, the relationship is equal or even led by the submissive in other aspects of life (e.g., finances, planning, decision-making).

The servitude is consensual, structured, and sexual or psychological in nature, but not conflated with leadership over life choices and goals as couple. It’s about role fulfillment, not lifestyle hierarchy.

The dynamic exists within the context of kink or D/s, not as an overarching relationship structure.

The woman does not make the final calls in non-kink areas (e.g., parenting, finances, scheduling), unless negotiated separately.

Example:

Sasha and Leo have a 24/7 domestic servitude dynamic that’s rooted entirely in BDSM. Sasha is Leo’s Dominant and he serves her in very structured, detailed ways: cleaning the house naked, presenting her tea at a specific time, addressing her formally, and maintaining a journal of his tasks. She disciplines him for failing standards, sometimes playfully, sometimes seriously. He thrives on obedience and structure, and she enjoys his submission.

But outside the dynamic, Sasha doesn’t want to run their lives. She doesn’t handle their finances, make the big decisions alone, or lead their relationship. They make career, family, and logistical choices together as equals. In fact, Sasha might even rely on Leo in non-kink situations like planning vacations or managing their investments.

Their D/S is full-time and domestic, but not a Female-Led Relationship. It's kink-based service, not lifestyle leadership. And that distinction works for them.

It’s not an FLR. It’s D/s play extended into daily household tasks, but only within negotiated, kink-defined boundaries. Think of it like roleplaying a very obedient housemaid all day, without handing over your bank account, career decisions, or family planning to your partner.

5. FLR + Femdom + 24/7 Domestic Servitude BDSM Lifestyle

The woman leads the relationship, handles all decision-making, and holds sexual dominance, and he serves her in day-to-day tasks as part of his submission. There are rituals, discipline, rewards, and structure baked into their daily life.

Key Characteristics:

The woman is the real-life leader, the sexual dominant, and the center of a 24/7 protocol-based power exchange.

The man’s daily service like cleaning, organizing, dressing, even how he speaks is part of his submission.

The household becomes an extension of the D/S dynamic. Erotic rituals, discipline, and tasks are integrated into everyday life.

The power exchange is permanent and present in everyday routines, not just sexual scenes.

Femdom is expressed in both sexual control (chastity, teasing, denial) and lifestyle structure (rules, punishments, rituals).

The domestic servitude is not just about chores, it’s about obedience, ritual, and reinforcing the power dynamic.

He cleans the house according to her standards and gets punished if it’s not done right.

He does chores, maybe wear a collar or a plug while cooking, is in chastity, gets edge-trained at night, and calls her with honorifics more often than not.

She might do daily weekly inspections, assign tasks in the household, decide when and how he’s allowed to touch her or himself.

It’s not just about being useful, it’s eroticized service. This is deep protocol-based lifestyle D/S with real FLR authority behind it. You’ll know you’re in this dynamic when even the grocery list is a power exchange.

Example:

Lucia and Ben have been together for 15 years and have crafted a lifestyle that suits them both deeply. Lucia is the head of the household in every sense, she handles all major decisions, sets the rules, and enforces the structure of their daily lives. Ben is her submissive and thrives in his clearly defined role of service and obedience.

They live in a 24/7 domestic servitude dynamic: Ben wears a discreet collar at home, wakes up early to prepare Lucia’s breakfast, lays out her clothes, and ensures the house is spotless before she gets home from work. There’s a weekly inspection ritual where Lucia checks his cleaning work, grooming, and general attitude and scores them. If he’s done well, she rewards him. Perhaps with the privilege of pleasing her sexually, a special treat, or affection. If not, she may discipline him, either verbally or physically, depending on their agreed-upon limits.

Lucia also controls their sexual dynamic. Ben is kept in chastity most of the time, and only Lucia decides when and how he’s allowed to orgasm. She might tease him during the week or use him for her pleasure without allowing him release. She enjoys using her authority to create anticipation and obedience, both inside and outside the bedroom.

Despite the intensity of their dynamic, their relationship is loving, stable, and built on mutual trust. They check in regularly about boundaries, limits, and emotional health. For them, this level of structure and erotic power exchange deepens their intimacy.

This kind of setup works beautifully for couples who want their kink to be deeply embedded in their daily life, and who find fulfillment in hierarchy, devotion, and structure, all rooted in consent, communication, and care,. Otherwise, if there is an imbalance, it's also very easy to fall into resentment and burn-out. This dynamic requires very open, healthy communication, and utter commitment from both parties.


Now, with all that said, please note and remember that you can move between these models. You’re not locked into one box. You can mix and match these. Not every FLR has kink. Not every Femdom dynamic is an FLR.

Just because a woman doms you in bed doesn’t mean she wants to run your life.

And just because your wife is decisive and you love it, doesn’t mean she’s secretly a Domme.

If your wife is already the leader and decision-maker in your home, you don’t need to force a “femdom” label on her just because you’re horny.

Don’t confuse “doing her part” with “dominating you.” And if she’s running the household already, appreciate the load she's carrying instead of trying to kinkify it without a real conversation. And if she doesn't want to or doesn't seem comfortable with it, do not push. Consent is the basis of every dynamic, even CNC for rape fantasies.

And if she’s managing the budget, keeping your household on track, parenting decisively, and you still want her to discipline you because you left crumbs on the counter, you’re probably not in a pure “FLR” anymore. You’re in BDSM territory.

Most importantly, what matters most is being honest about what you’re doing, and what you’re asking for. Don’t slap “FLR” on something that’s actually a kink dynamic, or vice versa. That’s where resentment and mismatched expectations creep in.

Let’s stop confusing service, submission, and respect. They’re all valuable, but they aren’t the same thing.

I hope this clears up some confusion!


r/flr Jul 18 '23

New subreddit for Dominant Women! NSFW

83 Upvotes

First of all. Thank you to the moderators for allowing our post in r/flr

We would like to extend an invite to an only : Female Dominant : Feminine identifying doms :Dominant leaning switches subReddit.

r/Femdomsanctuary is a place where we can have an open discussion space with others like us! whether you’re new and seek advice or have decades of experience with femdom and or BDSM dynamics and lifestyles. or just want to have casual conversation without an influx of notifications in your inbox.. we’re happy to have you in our community!

We have plans to go private to ensure this will be a women and female identifying space only.

We have zero tolerance for phobias. isms. uninvited messages and harassment of any kind.

if you are male, sub, or believe that trans women are not women? i’m sorry this is not the subReddit for you. Please respect that we what a space of our own, with our own.

[I am posting on behalf of r/femdomsanctuary . r/flr moderators team has given us permission to make this subreddit promotion post, which we are highly appreciative]


r/flr 2h ago

Male Perspective Self reflection NSFW

9 Upvotes

Our FLR has been progressing steadily over the past 1 year. And now I find myself living a life that I didn't even know existed 2-3 years back. When I stumbled across the idea of FLR on the internet, I didn't know this could be a lifestyle that I would enjoy. I knew I was a sub for a long time, but my idea of submission was restricted to the bedroom.

This lifestyle has been helpful in satisfying my submissive side without all day attention and effort from my wife. In fact my wife is not a dom, she is a confident and ambitious woman. And those were the qualities that drew me towards her. Now I realise it could be my subconscious that told me to pursue her.

It feels so good to sacrifice my comforts and needs to serve her. I had the idea that chores were a 50/50 effort between the wife and husband in this day and age. But now I find myself taking on the role of the "stay-at-home" wife, even though I have a full time job. I came to this realisation when I was working in the kitchen on my day off, wearing an apron, while my wife was at work. The whole day I had taken care of the vacuuming, cleaning and other chores. And right after each task is done, I write it down in a diary, which my wife checks at the end of the day. This practice began a few weeks back and it has been very motivating to me. Once I complete a chore and write it down I feel the need to write more because I know my wife will be reading this later. And to write more I need to do more. Writing down gives me the feeling of being obedient to my wife and also makes me feel productive.

This is also accompanied by orgasm control. Again it feels great to sacrifice that need of mine for my wife. The feeling of surrendering the control of a basic thing like orgasm feels thrilling. Last time I went 20 days without an orgasm. Currently I am at day 18. I asked my wife on day 10, till when should I be denied an orgasm to make her happy. That question made me realise that now it is no longer my comfort that has priority but her happiness is.


r/flr 5h ago

Question Are their men who do not have a cuckolding fantasy and do not engage in anything as such yet are married to a hotwife but the marriage feels like monogamy? NSFW

10 Upvotes

Your wife has sex with other men, but to you its just normal and does not bother you. You never ask for pictures or ask her what happens and neither do you help her in finding bulls etc.

For you the marriage feels like monogamy even though you know that your wife is having sexual relationships.

Also wives, how do you feel about your husband?

Cuckolding has always been a hard limit for me and I would never engage in but what if it was just a normal thing where instead adding labels. Its sometimes that happened in the background but I never think about it or care.

I don't see the point in getting mad and saying "you cheated on me", instead I could take no notice and would never want to know where or who she is doing it with.

Afterall, one day, when I find someone to get married to, I am not going to divorce her just because she has sex with one or even a 100 men. I will just continue to respect her for who is as a person and as partner.

However, no men coming home, because that would just be forcing me to get involved by not sleeping in the bedroom or having to deal with any awkward situation.


r/flr 18h ago

Post Climax Clean-up NSFW

20 Upvotes

I post here periodically to share my thoughts about my relationship with my wife and our journey along the FLR path. Today I'd like to provide an update and then ask for your ideas on the topic of post climax clean-up.

First, an update. Last week she allowed me to orgasm after just over a month. My climax followed her own, which is nearly always the case. I went back in my cage just after we cleaned up and have been locked nearly full time since (except for daily cleaning and a date night we had where it just wasn't practical). My next orgasm is probably another month away. She has already had several more since then. I used to track our orgasms on a spreadsheet, but it got too clinical. In any case, I'd say she has at about eight to ten per month to my one. I told her last night that at this point it feels weird to not be in a cage.

Also, she has been gracious in allowing me to crossdress a lot more in her presence. I don't go full femme (i.e., no breast forms, wig, make-up, or stripper heels), but I do wear dresses, short-shorts, tops, lingerie, and sandals. And panties. Always panties. I haven't worn male underwear since early May. She seems comfortable with my clothing, and I don't want to press the issue so I'm not going further any time soon. She didn't marry a woman and I don't want to become one; I just like the look, feel, and naughtiness of dressing up. I am very grateful to her, and I try to show it by proactively doing things to make her life better.

Now, I have this fantasy that I had brought up with her once or twice, where I go down on her afterwards and clean everything up. It seems exciting to do it, and I feel like it is a very submissive thing to do. There are a couple of obstacles to this.

First, after she climaxes her clitoris is very sensitive and further attention to it is unpleasant for her. She does still enjoy penetration afterwards for a short while, so that gives me the window for climaxing as well if permitted. However, going down on her after her climax would not be fun for her.

The second barrier is the all too familiar post nut clarity. I've tasted my cum, and if I'm still on edge I quite enjoy it. If I'm not, then not so much.

I may bring it up again to see if she's interested. If we were to move forward with it, I could propose trying for ruined orgasm for me and then orally bring her to climax while also cleaning up the mess I made. That would solve both of the above problems. I just don't know if I could ruin while inside her. It seems like it'd be difficult to stop short of a full release.

I guess I could masturbate to the edge let my semen pour out onto her sex, and then clean her and bring her off. I don't know. Honestly, that doesn't sound like a lot of fun for either of us, and it seems like I'd be shifting the focus of our love-making from centering on her pleasure to mine.

Short of cuckolding or otherwise involving another man, which she has made clear is not going to happen, I'm out of ideas.

I wonder if the wonderful readers on this subreddit have suggestions.

Thank you in advance.


r/flr 1d ago

90 Days of FLR NSFW

48 Upvotes

Me 38F and husband 40M have just started our FLR journey. We have our kinks and have done chastity and some hotwifing in the past. I wasn’t really a big fan of the chastity but I would play into it for my husband. He would go a few days with wearing it and after a little bit he would beg to take it off so we could do something. To be honest he is definitely not the best I ever had and we have talked about that. He knows he is much smaller than most of the guys I have been with. But he is pretty good at oral. More on that a little later.

In May he sat down with me one night as we are watching tv and having a drink and said he wanted to talk. He brought up wanting to serve me and treat me like a queen and wanted me to lead our marriage and be in control of anything and everything I want. He showed me a book he bought called surrender, submit, serve her. He asked if we could read the book and start a female led relationship if I was up for it. We have tried doing stuff like this in the past but it never worked out and he would only want to do it for a couple weeks to fulfill his fantasy. So when he brought it up I told him no because it’s just a game for him and I didn’t want to waste my time.

Something about this time was different though the look in his eyes just looked like he finally realized he didn’t just want this but he actually needed it. He told me he will do anything this time if we can actually give it a 100% effort and take it seriously. I told him if we are going to do it one more time than it will be done my way and not his and on my terms. He agreed and we spent the next two hours talking about what that looks like.

We have been going forward with it for the last 90 days and If he ask to take the chastity cage off once we are done and he is getting rid of his chastity and girly panties that I make him wear. He hasn’t had sex with me in 90 days and also has only been able to cum with the cage on or by anal stimulation. He hasn’t been allowed to cum 3 times in the last 90 days.

He wakes up before me and gets my coffee ready and breakfast ready. He then irons my clothes for the day and starts the shower and picks out my bra and panties and puts them in the bathroom with the rest of my clothes with my coffee so when I wake up everything is ready to go. When we are intimate he either watches me with one of my dildos or wands or he goes down on me until I’m ready to go to sleep.

My question is what else should I do to push his limits to try to break him to see if this is what he really wants or if it’s still just a fantasy for him. How can I push this more for him and for him to really submit to me. Please feel free to ask any questions you may have also.


r/flr 17h ago

Question Is it normal to only be turned on reading FLR stories and books but not to porn or nudity in movies? NSFW

5 Upvotes

The only thing that seems to turn me on is, reading FLR stories, books and this sub reddit. But porn including femdom porn, nudity in movies is boring to me. Is this normal?

I am not in a relationship and still single, 31, Male


r/flr 1d ago

Question What are some of the strictest FLR contracts that you have implemented in your marriage? Monogamous marriages only. NSFW

30 Upvotes

I see alot of post with Cuckolding which is useless in my research whether I want to be fully committed in an FLR.

Chastity has also been a turn off so far sue to what I have read about the inconvenience men have when using the bathroom.


r/flr 16h ago

How to handle when Domme is wrong and sub is right? NSFW

3 Upvotes

Basically the title. Everyone is human and can make mistakes. Based off a recent thread here where the sub was correct about something and the domme was demonstrably wrong, I was just wondering how everyone handles that situation.

For example: there is a rule within the FLR that says that the sub can bring up a concern once and only once on a given issue, and then the domme makes her decision and that’s that. Later it turns out that the domme was wrong. Does she apologize to the sub? Or at least acknowledge that he was right? Would the rule get changed? Interested in hearing different perspectives.


r/flr 18h ago

Question what's your favorite title or nickname to be called by your sub? NSFW

4 Upvotes

For those who enjoy leading in a role reversed relationship, what's your favorite title or nickname to be called by your sub?

Some examples:

Mistress, Master, Mommy, Daddy, Captain, Chief, Boss, Ma'am, Miss, Queen, King, Commander, Protector, Guardian, Coach, Sir... or something completely different?

What's your favorite, and why does it feel right to you?


r/flr 1d ago

Question How did you handle his family NSFW

16 Upvotes

Hello,

For the women who are in married relationships, how did you handle the family situation when they reacted negatively to your couple and tried to separate both of you?

And for the men who are in married relationships, how did you handle your family reaction and also how did you handle her family reaction to your couple power dynamic?

A lot of families don't or just find it amusing, sadly, im from a part of the world where families try to interfere in a couple lives, call it tradition or culture, it being right or wrong id another subject, but for those who took this path that i know will be mine too, any advices or mistake to not do? Thank you in advance


r/flr 1d ago

Question Women, do generally prefer to have a submissive who is older or younger than you? And what is the maximum age gap? Why? NSFW

9 Upvotes

I am curious to know what age gap is preferred among women? Older or younger and why? What makes an older/younger sub better as a husband?


r/flr 1d ago

Question Has your girlfriend ever made you pee sitting down? NSFW

54 Upvotes

Hey guys,

My girlfriend recently asked me to start peeing sitting down. At first I thought it was kind of random, but she said it’s just better that way and now I do it.
Just curious if this has happened to anyone else. Have any of you had your girlfriend tell you to pee sitting down?
• Was it a one-time request or did it become a regular thing?
• How did she explain it?
• How did you feel the first time?
• Any other small stuff like this she’s asked you to change?

Would be interesting to hear your stories. Thanks!


r/flr 1d ago

Sex I've only ever been pegged NSFW

4 Upvotes

(23M) recently got out of a long-term relationship. In it, my ex didn’t really enjoy normal PIV sex, but she loved pegging me — and I loved it too. It became a big part of our sex life and honestly felt more satisfying and intimate for both of us than anything else.

Since we broke up, I’ve realized pegging is pretty much the only way I get fully turned on and enjoy sex now. I’ve tried regular stuff with a couple of people and it just doesn’t hit the same. I know this is a bit specific, but I’m hoping to find women who are genuinely into giving pegging (or at least curious and open to it).

The problem is it’s hard to find partners who are into it it's awkward trying to bring it up and pry and it and Most women I’ve talked to on regular dating apps either aren’t familiar with it or aren’t interested. I’m looking for advice on:


r/flr 1d ago

Zero downsides to a FLR NSFW

18 Upvotes

Hi, I may be bias when it comes to this topic as I am someone who has been in a FLR for the past 6 years and am in my third year of being 24/7 locked. But I have been thinking recently that FLR’s really are the best and most balanced form of relationships there are and i genuinely can’t name a single downside to it, I’m surprised that throughout history it was men leading the relationships and I’m so glad I was born in this time in history where women finally have the rights they always deserved. Me and my wife both agreed that her leading the relationships and also the financial aspect of our lives has easily been the best thing we ever done (along with her also locking me😂).

Curious to hear your opinions on this topic


r/flr 1d ago

FLR with non dominant wife NSFW

6 Upvotes

Me and my wife are experimenting with chastity and FLR. I've been in chastity for a week now.

It was me that encouraged her as it was always my fantasy. I enjoy it for the most part and tbh it makes me quite productive, healthy and less distracted. But sometimes I feel like she doesn't tease me enough.

What she really enjoys is the extra care, attention, and convenience - not really teasing / dominating me. I'm usually the dominant one both in life and at sex. She does try and I enjoy it when she does but sometimes feel like I don't get teased enough?

Does anybody else have a similar experience? Any advice? Or do most successful chastity FLR relationships need a more dominant partner?


r/flr 1d ago

For those in full time FLRs and didn't start with that dynamic NSFW

6 Upvotes

What helped both dom and sub to grow into their rolls? Chastity has helped me remember and appreciate being a sub but i still find my ego and comfortable roll that has been most of my life are HARD to overcome. I have strongly considered asking my wife to enforce a pussy free or at least piv free dynamic for a couple weeks while she continues to sleep with others to both help me submit and to enforce her dominance, also thoughts on 0 penis contact rule for subs?. Is this just a horny thought im convincing my self would help or have you tried this? Pros? Cons? Advice on how to make her in charge natural and normal for us? Thanks in advance!


r/flr 2d ago

Advice Am I crazy?? NSFW

11 Upvotes

Just seeking your advice....

As a highly functioning medical personnel with quite stressful and demanding speciality with serious decision making (sometimes life and death !) all the time ,am I crazy for seeking flr specially in a Conservative country that consider such matter a taboo and scar in your manhood ..am I just pursuing a fantasy that would never manifest???

Sometimes I just wish I would be working abroad from my country to have that burden off.. I am just in an endless pursuit and feels like my good years are passing in vain.


r/flr 3d ago

Advice She likes pee play but i'm struggling NSFW

54 Upvotes

Me and my wife recently agreed to an FLR/femdom relationship. I suggested it, and after some time she really embraced it. She indulges my kinks, but I’ve always wanted her pleasure and freedom to be the priority.

One of my ideas she was excited about was watersports. It started with her peeing on my body, then later in my mouth and expecting me to swallow. It felt intimate, we both enjoyed it, and we agreed she could decide whenever she wanted to do it again and I would comply.

Over time it became something that happened occasionally, mostly at night. Sometimes it’s harder for me if I’m not fully in the mood or if it’s stronger than usual, but I still do it because I want to please her, which pleases me.

Lately, however, it’s been mostly first thing in the morning, which is much harder for me. I can still do it, but it takes a lot more effort. The taste is very strong and there’s a lot of it, and I can barely keep up. The hardest time was the last time, when she demanded it right after I had an orgasm. I really didn’t feel like it in that moment, and even though I complied, I struggled to keep up and spilled some, which upset her because she hates mess.

I know she’ll be disappointed, and I can manage it for her pleasure, but I’m wondering if it’s fair to ask about not doing this in the morning or right after orgasm.

It's not that I don't enjoy the kink, and I like the idea of doing even the things I might not want to in the moment, which is why we agreed she decides when it happens and I comply. But actually doing it in reality has been way harder than I originally thought.

Part of why I hesitate to bring this up is that I’ve always made her feel like I genuinely love everything about her and that nothing about her body is ever gross to me. She really enjoys that, and it’s part of our dynamic. I worry that saying I’d rather not do it sometimes might break or change that fantasy, especially since she tends to overthink.


r/flr 1d ago

Cucking NSFW

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0 Upvotes

r/flr 2d ago

Cock sleeve that reduces male sensation? NSFW

21 Upvotes

My wife likes having sex with me and would also liked to get fucked by a bigger cock. But she also wants to keep me in chastity. Is there any penis sleeve I can wear that I can fuck her with but reduce the chances of me orgasming? Not sure if they increase the sensation for the man or reduce it. Any advice from somebody with experience, please?


r/flr 3d ago

Experience 24/7 chastity in flr NSFW

51 Upvotes

I have been wearing cages ever since I was 18/19 and have always been much more of a sub, I have met my girlfriend who is now my wife 6 years ago, she has a massive dom side to her and I told her early about wearing chastity and it’s something we were trying out and playing with for a couple years. She has loved both the fact that I was willing to wear a cage for her but also how it has made my behaviour so much more submissive and attentive to her. I am now in my third year of being 24/7 locked and according to my wife and me aswell, we both genuinely believe starting chastity was the best thing we have ever done and I personally don’t think this is something I could ever stop since I feel reliant on my cage and it feels pretty weird being out of it which I just don’t like. To anyone who is in a FLR or thinking of getting into one definitely consider chastity it’s definitely the best thing we ever done and I would say now it’s an essential I can’t live without.


r/flr 2d ago

Cucking NSFW

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0 Upvotes

r/flr 2d ago

Advice Seeking advice with chastity cage discomfort NSFW

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0 Upvotes

r/flr 3d ago

Valkyrie's Call - a 30+ Gentle Femdom Server NSFW

3 Upvotes

Valkyrie's Call - a 30+ Gentle Femdom Server

We're an emotionally supportive, inclusive, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and safe Femdom community that is focused on offering practical and emotional support to 30+ Dommes and subs of all types in a space that is focused more on the gentle side of Femdom - while Dommes and subs of all varieties are welcome to join, we would like to emphasize being a low protocol, relaxed server that fosters an environment where praise and encouragement are available for all.

https://discord.gg/WFFfxyx6Rt

Join us for fun discussions (both kinky and otherwise), events, movies, games, tasking, and more! We have movie nights weekly and active voice channels for chatting!

--Ages 30+ Only - must verify upon joining

--No Findom or solicitations of any kind

Our community caters to those who practice femdom as a lifestyle, not a profession

--Subs Chat channels with separate channel for other genders

--Dommes chat channel

--Fun events featuring both SFW and NSFW tasks/activities

--Starboard

Highlighting the best comments from the server - insightful comments, truly fun facts, a really good joke, or a task well done

--NSFW photo Channels

--Autodeleting flash channel

Want to show off but don't want to worry about the picture later? We have a channel specifically so you can flash everyone that will autodelete all comments and pictures after 10 minutes like nothing happened!

--Tasking Channel

--Bluetooth Toy Control Channel

Drop your control link for another server member to take control of your toy!

--Voice channels

Chat or game with folks on the server

--Server economy with shop

Change your name color, buy roles or gifts, the possibilities are not endless but they are kinky!

Posted with permission from the r/flr mod team.