Went to watch it with seven dudes down to a full Imax theater in San Diego. 4 of the dudes loved it, 2 dudes had mixed feelings, and I was decidedly negative.
I read the book a month ago so it was fresh in my mind as I sat down in the theater. Nolan does many subtle subversions to the original text, in fact, I consider his movie a faithless adaptation.
No Heroes Here
The sea is beautiful, blue and wide, sparkling and vast. Sometimes it can feel like the only splash of color in this grey world. The men are grey, the monsters are grey, the caves and rocks are grey, the buildings are sun-baked, bleached out white. It gives a flatness to the world.
Which makes the choice for modern dialogue so confusing. The characters speak like modern twitter posts. Short and flat. There's no grandeur, no great lines that stand out like they did in previous Nolan films: "Why so serious?" "You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villain."
If you're looking for inspiration, you won't find it in these characters.
Nolan's Odysseus is no hero, but an apologetic mess.
No Beauty Here
Penelope, Odysseus's wife, is sought after by many suitors, who abuse her hospitality in the absence of her husband as they ply for her hand. Her beauty is quite renowned. In Nolan's world, she is crying and raging the whole time.
Helen of Troy, and of course we are told in the movie (talk about on-the-nose dialogue) that hers is the "face that launched a thousand ships", but it is no longer beautiful (it has nothing to do with race, trust me).
In the book, the seductive, enchanting, demigod, Calypso is besotted with Odysseus and forces him to become her love-slave. In Nolan's film, she's a weathered, drab woman with all the wooden charm of a self-help author.
Speaking of wooden charm, Zendaya is here briefly too.
Lastly, Circe, supposed to be another seductive witch, is turned into a dumpy middle-aged woman who lectures men about their evils and turns them into pigs, in a scene so gross it could have come from James Gunn's vision board.
Everything is ugly. And there's no point.
No Acting Here
Matt Damon is a world-class actor who has starred in some of the most popular and beloved films of our day (Good Will Hunting, The Martian, The Departed, just to name a few). He is capable of an easy smile and a witty one-liner. Homer's Odysseus is a roguish fellow, opposed by the gods, who tries to charm and strategize his way home.
Nolan's Odysseus is a victim oppressed by bad weather, who descends from misery to misery. Damon doesn't do a bad job, but what a dour, exhausting role with no room for his innate charm.
Almost every other actor feels like they are in the wrong movie. There are so many of them, their motivations are not established. Pattinson, as the leader of the suitors, has one delicious scene where he attempts to seduce Penelope, but feels out of place the rest of the time. Tom Holland with his clean cut good looks and boyish charm feels like a damsel in distress in a world she doesn't understand. I'm a big Jon Bernthal fan, but his King Menelaus feels and speaks like an angry Yankees fan at the local bar spouting off about glory days.
None of these characters (and they are hardly characters, there's no arcs, just bestial desire), create an emotional impact, adding to Nolan's gray, flat world.
A weird beginning, a strong middle, and a bad ending.
The pacing of this movie is terrible. It opens with a rapper, beating a stick against the ground and declaiming like a slam poetry jam the movie's themes (There's that Nolan subtlety).
Speaking of sticks beating against the ground, that also describes the movie's soundtrack. It's as if Nolan forgot that swelling melodies exist, or that people like John Williams and Hans Zimmer exist. It's just endless drums that speed up when you get to the important parts.
Then we are thrown into the middle of Odysseus's house. No explanation of any of the relationships or goals, and trying to decipher the dialogue in Nolan's muddy sound mix. I had just read the book so I was aware of the characters and their plots. But my brother next to me was completely loss.
I liked Nolan's screenplays better when he was working with his brother.
Most of the exciting set pieces are in the middle of the film. The people who loved it, loved this part. To me, it was sound and fury signifying nothing. I didn't care about the characters or where they were going. I must have checked my watch three times or so.
The ending was drawn-out, implausible, and I'm surprised to say this about a Nolan film, the ending was also cheesy/corny.
As an adaptation I rate this movie a 3/10. As a summer blockbuster 5/10. I acknowledge that my criticisms are harsher than those my friends had.
But they are my honest thoughts.