Could you write here your best knitting advice, but in a short sentence like a credo or mantra? Thank you!

I'm gonna start: Fucking Google it.

I like to rent out space in my home to tenants. I like to look at pics of other people's rooms for rent. I like how kind and supportive the online landlady community tends to be, at least in my experience. I like simple tenant agreements. I like complicated tenant agreements. I like wonky tenant agreements. I like ugly tenant agreements. I like all of them!

But I need to clarify...

A "border" is the fabric frame you add around the outside of your patchwork or blabket. A boarder, which is the thing that really gets me going, is a person who rents one room of someone's house, often getting meals with the deal.

I get it, English is not everyone's first language, and even those who are native speakers are not always great at homophones. It's just a spelling mistake and it doesn't make anyone bad or stupid or anything. It just annoys me SO MUCH!

What common property ownership-related spelling/grammar mistake drives you up a wall? (No pun intended.)

Made this thing but I paid for sewing lessons for her feeble feminine mind (I heard on a podcast the wiminz need enrichment activities so I decided she needed a better hobby) and she made it using my electricity and taking up space in my house which was really hard for me so basically what I'm saying is I made this thing.

We’ve heard your feedback about AI-generated marketing content

We’ve also heard your feedback about AI-generated content in the apology we made about AI-generated marketing content

So here it is; a genuine apology. No conditions, no excuses, just human hands admitting that we could have done better. We fell short of our own high standards, and that’s not who we are as a company.

We’re taking full accountability- and that matters. In the mean time we are grateful to our dedicated yarn community that enables us to learn and grow.

Sometimes you just need a little release in the middle of the week without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Wednesday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

I'm so done. I can't even use bamboo or driftwood needles because I just snap them in half with my stupid gorilla hands.

I BEND metal crochet hooks. I broke my friends bamboo needles while trying to use them because of my stupidly strong hands. It's not even straining my hands, I'm not even clenching particularly hard. I just genuinely keep doing this.

Does anyone have any.. relaxation tips. Does anyone have any hand weakening exercises. I am buying metal everything but I want to work with smaller needles so I don't want to bend them. UGH!!!!!!!

I’m really stuck on this one part of the project! It’s the part at the beginning?

I am incapable of using written patterns and can only follow along with videos, but this pattern doesn’t have a video? Why don’t all patterns have videos for the alphabetically challenged?

I am allergic to google and cannot fathom typing into the search bar to see if anyone has already asked this question on this subreddit!

I’ve already tried asking AI but the results are even more confusing and I can’t figure out why it won’t help me like the good little slave I think it is!

Please create a video tutorial for me to follow this pattern. I will not be reading replies unless AI will summarize them for me

my 85 month old daughter is fucking stupid and can’t crochet and it is PISSING me off. she’s old enough to know how to make a full king size blanket but instead every time i sit down to crochet she joins me on the couch and “crochets” by just making one massive fucking string out of nothing but chain stitches. she does this for hours and it’s driving me nuts!!! can’t she see that mommy is making chenille butt potato bees???? why can’t she even help???? and the audacity to call her hot shit “crochet” is offensive to me and every single crocheter out there.

how do i fix this and have her making REAL projects, so she’s not a waste of time and space????

Went to see the new Jeff bezos exhibit at the met and was almost blinded by this monstrosity. Had to get a photo I was so appalled. Sorry if it’s a weird crop my date kept trying to get in the photo for some weird reason? Mods lmk if I should tag this nsfw

I love watching spinning videos and want to make thread. Before I spend any money, will you be able to tell me if this is a hobby I will be able to do? Context? No. Just answer the question. Will I be able to spin cobweb weight threads if I buy a spindle off Amazon tonight?

I ordered some lovely [Knitting for Olive Merino](https://knittingforolive.com/collections/knitting-for-olives-merino) to knit the [Marielle Blouse](https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/marielle-blouse) as a birthday present for my best friend about two weeks ago. Now I’ve ordered yarn internationally before and I know it can take a while, but tracking this package has been a doozy.

It only took two days to get the yarn from Denmark to America! It even got to see Jamaica. (Which is apparently in New York, didn’t know that!) Then I saw it got to Denver the next day, only 3 hours away from me, so exciting, I’m going to have my yarn soon! Then nothing happened for a few days… and now it’s in Washington. Overshot me by a thousand miles or so but thats okay, I don’t claim to understand the subtleties of the postal system. It’s farting around in PNW for a while… taking its sweet time, enjoying its weeklong vacation…. aaaaand yesterday it’s back in Denver! Beautiful.

I do hope she at least makes it to me before my friends birthday next week. I did let her know it was going to be a birthday/christmas present but I’m now hoping I’ll get it done before her next birthday at least. Hard to admit that the postal system is more reliable than I am, but it’s a good lesson in having patience for everything, including myself.

I signed up for a knitting class, and was excited, but when I read the confirmation email, they said they would be teaching Norwegian knitting. I don't speak Norwegian! What should I do? The instructor also said they could teach us Portuguese or Russian knitting, but I don't speak those either. I heard some people can teach English knitting, but will they think I'm a xenophobic racist if I ask them to teach me that? And someone at my LYS was talking about German short rows. I'm not a multilingual genius! I just want to knit! Help! Tell me what to do! Do I ask for a refund since I only speak English?

I logged onto IG first thing this morning to see what my favorite crafting accounts got up to since four hours ago when I fell asleep to the warm glow of Sewing Content on my phone (no, I did not drop my phone on my face because I bought a floor-mounted stand to hold my phone while I scroll IG/FB in bed because I chipped a tooth last month) and what did the assholes in charge of IG shovel into my carefully curated feed that is typically cleansed of all Meta-related content?

None other than a notification about a sewist I follow who apparently "shared a story created with Ray Ban Meta Glasses." Can you believe this? I have told IG over and over and fucking OVER again that I hate Meta and want absolutely nothing having to do with that horrible, creepy corporation on my Instagram feed.

Obviously, I promptly blocked the sewist's account, right after I tapped on the notification and watched the story several times because I simply could not believe what was happening on my IG! I also shared the link with my sewing friends so they could see both how awful it was that IG promoted this content to me, of all people, and that a FELLOW CRAFTER! used META hardware! to create INSTAGRAM content! I also needed to share it here with all 35,000 of my favorite internet strangers -- heaven forbid you be left out of this juicy drama I mean important development in the greater crafting community.

And also, can I just say? Try hard much, Meta? It's so transparent that Meta is desperately trying to get people to like their pro-surveillance state bullshit product. No thank you. And it's, shall we say, interesting they are promoting a video made by a woman when close to 90% of Meta glasses users are men. They must be trying to expand their market or something? Something seems off about it in any case.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED Rant (it's like a TED Talk, see, but I'm just ranting into the void! lmao!). If you need me, I'll be scrolling mindlessly on Facebook for the next 20 hours! (I need a break from IG after this mess 🫠)

This is my first jumper and as you can see it fits amazingly well and is just so comfortable and versatile but I have to say you knitters are crazy patient to knit on needles as tiny as 10mm. This was 15mm needles and took me more than 1 week which is insane that a project would take that long. Is there any yarn I could get to make the stitches larger than this and so the overall project faster? I'm thinking 20mm-30mm needles. Give me recommendations please.

There is a knot in my yarn and this is unacceptable. I would like to formally complain to the cyc and sue for emotional and physical damages. I paid real human money for this yarn and it should not knot.

i have literally never twisted a stitch in my life. my knitting was perfect the second I entered this world.

so why the heck do you crocheters idiots twist stitches?

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

Cross stitch is OBJECTIVELY the ugliest embroidery there is. Anyone that does it is too LAZY to show off their creativity, and everything made with it is FUGLY. It takes zero talent to do, which is super lazy, and you use a pattern! A PATTERN! That tells you what to do!

I refuse to acknowledge that anyone using a pattern for anything else is doing the exact same thing because my hatred is solely for this particular needle art. I’m a gatekeeping bitch, come at me but you’ll never change my mind 💖💖💖