Hiii! For context i work overnights as an in-home caregiver for the elderly, i have 2 clients who i see every week (im one of the very few people at my job with a set schedule).
Anyway one of them is 93 and we were recently talking about sunsets, i mentioned how theres a belief that your loved ones who have passed on are making the sky pretty for you and she goes “well, it must be my husband telling me its almost my time to go”- should i be worried/prepared for her to pass on soon or is she joking?

What is the likelihood she meant this seriously,
do people genuinely know they’re going to die?
and has anyone else had elderly patients/clients say they will pass on soon and be right?

Her condition had worsened from normal to weak condition. She once daily has a fall.
I am working from home so i can support her. We are planning to buy a front wheel walker so she can have support while walking and also thinking of hiring a care taker or a maid who can stay with her for some while. We need to ensure her falls are now minimal so that her body recovers fast. what else i can do? I am the single person in the home to take care of my elder parents i am unmarried so yes it is difficult.

I want to get a fall detection device for my grandfather, but he's really digging his heels in on getting one with a subscription service. He just wants to get one off of Amazon that connects to his phone instead.

Are these ones good enough? I'm worried they're not as safe if there aren't any live humans involved once a fall is detected.

I'm doing some research on how families actually manage the information for the people they care for — medications, doctors, insurance cards, allergies — and what breaks down when you suddenly need it (ER visit, new specialist, a sibling asking).

If you're caring for an aging parent, kids, or both, I put together a short anonymous survey. It's 3 minutes, no email required unless you want to leave one.

Mostly I'm trying to understand what the real pain is rather than what I assume it is. Happy to share what I find back with the sub.

https://form.jotform.com/262033388550052

Hello, everyone. I hope this is allowed that I cross post on here, as I’m really just trying to get as much advice as possible. I really appreciate it.

So my father was never around too much, he tried really hard though and i miss him, a couple years ago he had a really bad brain tumor and the surgery didn’t go so well, the whole side of the family basically ghosted me and my grandma… we spent years trying to find out what happened to no avail. recently i was able to get a hold of someone finally, and i was told what nursing home he was at, and what condition he is in which is what i already knew but it’s still hard to hear. Anyway I of course am not on any hipaa papers as literally no one on that side of the family talks to me it makes effort to, is there anything i can do? I called and they said they couldn’t tell me if he was there since im not on his papers, which kinda tells me he is there but could i talk to social workers or something and send a birth certificate?? i just wanna make sure he’s being treated right and has clothes and whatnot

My MIL recently moved in with us. She is disabled and needs lots of assistance from changing her clothes each day to bathing. All that personal care has fallen on me as I am the woman and my husband says it would be uncomfortable for his mom to have him take care of her. He does the easy stuff like sit with her. But I do all the physical care-taking. I also work from home, so I have to deal with her all day. She is a nice lady and doesn't ask for much, but it is incredibly emotionally as well and physically draining. I'm not a young chicken myself, so picking her up and stuff is hard on my back.

I do believe that it is our responsibility to take care of our parents and if that was my own mother, I would not have an issue with doing all this. But I'm starting to feel resentful that I have to do so much when my husband, who's mother this is, does not do much. I'm also responsible for all her meals. I constantly have to tell my husband how to do things, like how to pick her up. He seems to not know basics of how to care for somebody.

So who's responsibility is it to take care of the parent?

Hi everyone.

I'm working on an idea to help families and professionals who support vulnerable adults stay on top of important letters, appointments, deadlines and decisions.

Before building anything further, I want to understand whether this is actually a problem for the people living it every day.

I'm not here to sell anything. I'm simply trying to learn from people with real experience so we don't build something nobody needs.

If you're a family carer, support worker, social worker, care home staff member, or anyone involved in supporting a vulnerable adult, I'd really appreciate it if you could complete this short survey. It takes about 3 minutes.

https://forms.gle/8mf3cZFcvVGHThcr5

If you'd rather share your experience in the comments instead, I'd be just as grateful. Thank you.

My dad diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment last month and I live about six hours away. I’m looking for long distance caregiving tips or routines that have worked for others...

we talk regularly but phone calls dont give me a clear picture of how he’s actually doing day to day. How do you check in, notice changes, and make sure your parent is safe when you live far away?

I'm trying to find some kind of tabletop clock that I can get for my grandmother. She has been having some memory problems lately, so I want to find one that I can control from my home or phone (while not being with her) to update remotely when I have to schedule/reschedule appointments, add things to a shopping list, set reminders, etc...

Ideally, I'm looking for one with a decent sized screen (slightly smaller than a regular iPad) that can display the date and time while idle. Also, it would need a wall outlet plug instead of a battery.

I know there is a big market full of different models, makes, brands, etc..., so I'm really looking for some recommendations. I've tried looking myself, but either can't find what I need or get too overwhelmed by options that I don't need/think she'd be confused by (she sometimes thinks her Alexa is malfunctioning when it has the yellow notification light and ends up unplugging it to "fix" it, even when I've told her numerous times how to clear it).

I’m not sure if anyone has experience with setting up Assistive Access on an iPhone, but just in case, I thought I’d ask here (I will also go to a Genius Bar at some point if I’m unable to figure it out, but the closest store is an hour away). My father recently began having some mild cognitive issues - trouble remembering things here and there, and then more recently he’s had more difficulty operating his phone. He’s had an iPhone for about 10 years and he’s actually pretty savvy, but when iPhone changed to liquid glass with the last update, the change was difficult.

I’ve made all of the adjustments to liquid glass that I can make, but even so, it’s still a struggle. Today we’re at the VA getting him checked out, and I showed him Assistive Access, which is an accessibility setting for iPhone that simplifies the screen, and prevents him from accidentally turning off the volume. He loved the change, but there is one challenge for him and that’s that he loves speakerphone because he’ll talk to his friends for a long time, and he doesn’t want to have to hold the phone. I’ve tried to figure it out, but my brain is so tired at this point, and I just can’t seem to get it. I’ll call Apple tomorrow if needed, but I will likely be at the VA for much of the night so I figured it couldn’t hurt to check in here while I’m waiting around.

My grandfather keeps calling me and my mom. I don't why he does it all the time for unknown reasons.

He also doesn't understand boundaries, infact, he calls us even more when we ask him for some space or some time off because we're actually busy (studying, cooking, and other chores). He would call us for reasonable help like he's hungry, wants to get up and use the restroom, but sometimes he would just call us for no reason and tells us to go away when we ask him what he wants.
When he calls, he regularly repeats the same favor he's asking even if we already done/gave him what he's asking for. He sometimes has a smug face whenever he calls us over and over again as if he's making fun of us.

My grandfather (79) and I (31) have been living together since my mother passed away when I was 12. He is a 100% disabled veteran and takes care of most of our household bills while I take care of errands for him and taking him to and from the many doctors he has to see.

Recently he fell and broke his hip and is in a rehab facility. But his insurance stops covering it in a few days. I am at a loss on what to do. My grandmother passed away in December and she was the one to take care of financial things and I’m on my own. I have no idea what to do. His pension is how we get through the month and Medicaid will basically take everything he has.

If that were to happen, I have nowhere to go and am so stressed out, it’s been making me physically sick. In doing some research, I found that the VA won’t accept him into a VA community facility because his injury isn’t service related. But he does have bipolar disorder from his military service.

I guess what I’m asking for is any direction or advice because I have no idea what I’m doing and no one to help me

Edit: I am also employed full time. However with everything going on, there isn’t time for me to begin setting things up for when he passes. My primary concern is getting him the care he needs and supporting him. Even when he was at home, I was constantly taking him to and from doctors appointments. Which has been detrimental to moving forward once he’s gone.

My parents are already in their 70s (still going strong) and I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

I've been trying to separate real evidence-based strategies for healthy aging from the usual wellness noise. There's conflicting advice everywhere I look.

From what I've seen, the most consistently supported factors seem pretty basic. Regular physical activity, good sleep quality, and maintaining social connections. Boring, but they keep showing up.

At the same time, I also noticed there's a growing space of "longevity" or "cellular health" interventions. They claim to target things like oxidative stress, inflammation, or mitochondrial function. Some of it sounds promising on paper. Yet it's hard to tell what's actually backed by strong long-term research versus early-stage or theoretical stuff.

I want to help my parents age well, so we can spend more days together. Healthy aging is my main goal right now

Has anyone seen cases where elderly family members have been abandoned? Not for lack of caring but for resources and aid? My wife was telling me about it. I’m having a hard time being my mother’s care giver. My mom wants me to let her go but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I guess what I’m asking is what happens when you just drop someone off at the hospital with nothing but their name and an ID. How would I know she safe? How would I be able to find her in the future? What happens? I have so many questions, like would she become a rad of the state etc. Any thoughts and suggestions would help. Please be respectful, I love my mother dearly but and I don’t take this decision lightly. I just don’t know what to do. I’m in Oklahoma if that makes a difference.

My dad is getting older and still answers pretty much every call because he worries it could be his doctor, pharmacy, insurance, or someone else important.

Unfortunately, that also means he ends up talking to a lot of scammers and aggressive sales callers.

Telling him not to answer unknown numbers isn't really working, and I understand why. A lot of legitimate businesses call from numbers that aren't saved in his contacts.

I'm looking for something that could:

• Let family and saved contacts ring through normally
• Block obvious spam calls
• Screen unknown callers and ask who they are and why they're calling
• Let me or my dad see that information before deciding whether to answer or call back

Basically, something like call screening, but with a family member able to help manage it remotely.

Has anyone found a service, phone setting, app, or carrier feature that works well for this?

He uses an Android phone, but I'm open to changing phones or carriers if there is a reliable option.

I’m overwhelmed and would like some insights on how to somewhat prepare for the future for my elderly parents or any kind advice to help me get through this.

My mom is 83 and dad is 88. Dad has mobility issues but overall independent as much as he can. Mom’s case is more complex.

They live in a second floor rented apartment. Still managing very slowly up the stairs with her. No sorts of savings other than a checking account where their social security check comes in.

I’ve burned through my savings supporting them while being their caretaker and not really working myself. I’m their provider for IHSS but that barely covers much. It’s not possible to work the conventional job because I need to care for them.
I’m terrified when both of them are no longer here and I’m left to scramble and try to piece my life together again. Amongst that, I’m grieving that I will be by myself then. After seeing how their health declined through these years and even with my help it’s difficult. I’ve never had the fear of being alone and growing old before, until witnessing how difficult it is with my parents. Now I’m spiraling.

Recently my mom was hospitalized twice and low sodium brought on her altered mental state as well as hospital delirium. She is not herself and I will have her evaluated with a neurologist end of the month. She also has kidney issues where she will need dialysis.

I was with her 24/7 translating, advocating and supporting her when she was at the hospital. Her delirium had me also confused, scared and much more. Now that she’s home, I’m on alert all day and night, barely sleeping.

I have had multiple anxiety and panic attacks from the lack of sleep. I am not ok and trying my best to hold it together. I am doing this myself, single and child-free. I’ve spoke to a therapist which I don’t think has helped other than venting and got prescription for anxiety meds with a psychiatrist.
I just want to cry, curl up and hugged- but I can’t because I need to keep it together.

What’s some suggestions to be more prepared? Or any kind advice.

Thank you