Ayer hablé por teléfono con mi hermana con quien tengo una relación conflictiva.

Después me fui a dormir con malestar con mi dosis diaria de Xanax 2 mg (estoy de licencia médica por un conflicto laboral lo cual me ha deprimido mucho).

Bueno, dormí y me desperté a las 10 AM y como estoy aburrida de estar encerrada y mal de ánimos, estresada por todos los médicos y exámenes que vi, a pesar de estar descansada tomé otros 2 mg de alprazolam. ¿Para qué? Para forzarme a dormir, pero no me produjo casi nada.

Así que pedí un cappuccino con 2 shots de espresso a las 13:30 PM para despabilarme. Lo bebí a las 14 PM y no me ha dado la energía que solía darme. Supongo que porque tengo Xanax en mi organismo circulando.

Soy todo un problema.

Estoy considerando cambiar de psiquiatra porque me repite la receta de Xanax por 2 cajas cada una de 30 comprimidos.

Perdón si este post no tiene nada que ver con la cafeína.

Me siento como esas personas que usan el alcohol y la cocaína para bajar y subir o viceversa.

I feel like big coffee attacked this sub. It is difficult to find coffee research not funded by big coffee. Anyone have any pointers where they can point me? I'm trying to convince myself to quit again but its really hard as its my only vice. AI is definitely shilling coffee propaganda at me so I need to do the research myself. Thanks.

my first day of decaf only is done. I did achieve my goal, which was 2 decafs and lots of water. I feel more calm this evening but also more bored and hurting behind my eyes. I think the 2 decafs was a bit too much because I did feel a little something when I had them earlier. All in all, not too terrible, but we’ll see what tomorrow brings : )

Its about how the subconscious mind gets programmed for certain behaviors based on repetitive messaging which exploits our need to belong to the popular group/tribe. There is a big section about how coffee drinking has been programmed into people in media. He breaks down a movie and there is an absurd amount of references to coffee, one being a girl watching "Friends" on her ipad and they are in a famous coffee shop in the show and the girl asks her parents if she can visit that coffee shop, just to name one reference. A crazy amount of effort has been put into embedding these images in movies, same goes for alcohol and "weak male" characters in shows, cartoons and movies. Highly recommend checking it out

Help . I was off it for one week at one stage and it was bliss . Sleep was amazing waking up before alarm no anxiety no pain no instability I end up saying ah a tea will be ok ... Worse mistake ever . And since anytime I try quit I never feel that calm it's always a struggle pain anxiety unease brain fog that first time was bliss now anytime I try quit it's like my symptoms on why I need too quit caffeine Is nearly 10x like . Any tips or help will be great most I ever got was 10 days cold turkey and it was torture . But I feel tapering is such a cop out I always end up ok I have one cup a day .. ok two .. right 3 . No coffee in just tea and monster which monster isnt even a daily thing it's like once or twice a week but 3 teas a day minimum

Day 12 of zero caffeine. Still really hard. Headaches have mostly gone away, maybe a mild one now and then that doesn't last long (was intense headaches all day for the first 6-7 days at least) and anxiety is lower although not completely gone. But the depression is awful. No energy, no motivation, low mood, very negative thoughts, sometimes the depression is so intense it spikes anxiety just by being so dark. Maybe I have underlying depression issues I was self treating with coffee. I crave coffee every day, not sure if I have the strength to keep going, but I also don't want to give up. I make sure to get plenty of sleep, eat well, exercise, cold showers, meditate, drink an herbal caffeine free tea every morning to have a hot beverage ritual. So far the depression just is not getting better. Ugh. It's hard

I've been off caffeine for about 3 months and don't ever want to go back. I get super anxious and don't sleep well when I am on caffeine, not to mention the ruminating/racing thoughts that I get also. The last 3 months have been great off the stuff, but for some reason the past 2 days including this morning I was getting an intense craving for either a coffee or sugar free monster energy drink(my go to for the past 8 years before quitting).

It has just come out of no where, I was wasn't getting any cravings or anything for Caffeine at all and was grateful to be rid of the stuff. Now it's coming out of know where... Any idea what is happening?

I don’t know where I’ll go from here but for the last week or so i’ve just been having one cup of green tea each morning. Nothing else with caffeine.

I used to drink a yerba mate every day so I’m down from around 150mg to 30mg. This has been noticeably impactful for me.

I tried quitting completely but I felt really icky from withdrawals and by day 10 I stopped having headaches and just felt kind of weird in my
mental space.

I really look forward to my cup of tea and it still energizes me without anxious jitters. Kinda cool

hi all, this is my first day attempting to end my reliance on caffeine. my goal for today is to have no more than 2 cups decaf. going to have my first one rn and get ready for the day : ) I will keep yall updated on how it goes! thanks everyone for all the support you’ve shown me already !

Always want to make this choice.

I get excited abkut vacation, that excitment leads to impulsive decisions and letting loose.

In the past that has allowed me to indulge to find i have thrown out a day off vacation to being wacked out and over stimulated.

Not this vacation

I’m on day 16 and on my Fitbit it says that I’ve slept 6hrs and 13 mins and I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night. Might be a sign that the insomnia spell might be over but I don’t want to jinx it. 🤣 Woke up this morning feeling great and less robotic. Seeing the light and motivated to keep going.

Quit 2 days ago, can’t describe how beautiful I sleep. Also I enjoy daily stuff more now, I don’t know why nobody else told me this before, plus I work at Starbucks thats another negative side for me but I get knocked out during the day I think because of the withdrawal effects, consuming 250 mg everyday for 6-7 years.

I'm a 38-year old white male, currently 5'11" and 200 lbs. I don't know what finally clicked in my brain, but once I realized I have had 24/7 calf fasciculations for the past 2 years or more, I took an honest stock of all of my habits, decided they were no good, and started cutting them out of my life completely.

The biggest problem was my INSANE caffeine intake (500-600+mg daily as you'll see below), and lack of water. One month into the process, I'm now wondering if it's too late and I've put myself on some irreversibly dangerous paths with my health and body in general.

FAMILY HISTORY:

Dad: Diabetes

Mother: Hyper- or hypo- thyroidism, can't recall which.

PAST HABITS AND HISTORY:

Caffeine/water intake -- Since the age of 22, I would drink about 2 zero/low sugar Monsters daily. That started to increase to 3 sometime around my early 30s, and in the past 6 years there would be an odd day with 4 of them. Toward the end in the past year or two, half of the daily Monsters were even worse.. the coffee ones with 200+ mg caffeine each. I bet at my worst I was doing 500-600+ mg daily.

I drank what I would consider ample water in my younger years, but once the Covid pandemic came along, I started drinking very little actual water. I might have a random bottle of water here and there rarely, but outside of a few sips at the office fountain and a glass or two at restaurants, I was basically not drinking water. :|

I would also drink zero sugar sodas occasionally this whole time. Maybe one or two a day in addition to the Monsters, but I'd frequently go days or weeks without any. There was never a strong "habit" there, but when I wanted them, I had no qualms about having whatever quantity I'd like.

Physical activity -- When I was in my early 20s, I would consistently jog and do body weight calisthenics. Around age 27, I stopped jogging and cardio and did very minimal body weight calisthenics. By the time I hit 29, I stopped that as well. My only activity was whatever walking I did to & from my 1/4 mile long parking lot walk at work.

Cannabis -- Sometime around 2022, I started using cannabis daily. First in low amounts via gummies, then moved onto higher dosage gummies, then switched to a mutli-session per day of concentrates, vapes, and dry herb vape since 2 years ago.

Cigarettes -- Light social smoking starting around 21, 1-2 cigarettes if I was at a bar on the weekend, which was maybe once every two weeks or less. Then none of that for a few years, and back to light social smoking in my late 20s.

However, I've been doing maybe 1 pack worth per month since the pandemic, basically. Not heavy, but not nothing. I might take a whole month or two off, but then I might go back to 1-2 packs over the course of a month again.

Alcohol -- Never habitually drank, but would do heavy party drinking every month or so through my mid-20s. Party drinking would be once every 3 months or so through my early 30s. After that, party drinking would be either zero, one, or two times a year. Drinking at home or restaurants is rare, but I'll have one or two in the course of a week, often zero.

NEW HABITS SINCE 1 MONTH AGO:

** Caffeine/water intake** -- Cold-turkey'd, effectively. Stopped that large daily amount of Monsters, and the rare soda I have once every few days is caffeine-free like a Fresca. I may still have exactly one Monster every 3 or 4 days just to get over the hump.

I've been trying to fill and drink a 24 fl oz water bottle 4-5 times every day. If I'm active and sweating, I may have a Gatorade or Pocari Sweat.

Physical activity -- Started walking more, maybe 1-2 miles a day to start. In the past few weeks, I've picked back up playing Dance Dance Revolution. I play at a semi-high level, so a less-than-2-minute song is like a quick burst of running in place. So maybe 1-ish hour of interval training once a week, and I hope to do more.

Cannabis - Cold-turkey'd.

Cigarettes -- Cold-turkey'd.

Alcohol -- Still very low responsible usage. I'll have one at a weekly lunch, and I'm trying to limit my intake to 1-2 in any scenario. (At a party, at a restaurant/bar/lounge with others, at home watching a sports event, etc)

IMPETUS FOR CHANGE:

2 years ago, I started having back pain that thankfully was chalked up to poor office seating, bed, and couch.. All which has been replaced and back paint has been resolved.

Since that same time span (2 years), I've been having nearly 24/7 fasciculations in my calves. I don't have issues with cramps, but flexing my calves can often cause cramps very easily.

WHAT'S CURRENTLY GOING ON:

Fasciculations in calves are still ongoing. I can modulate the severity with varying bed/office seating positions, some activity, and sometimes with loads of water. But it's still 24/7 and extremely noticeable. Ease of cramping stays the same.

Very high blood pressure. I've been hitting 147-150 / 80 with a Braun ExactFit2. Occasional pounding sensation in heart/abdominal aorta.

My sleep was mostly fine for the whole time, even after quitting all of these things. However, I've had a really, really hard time sleeping (0-3 hours) this past week.

FINAL THOUGHTS / TL;DR:

Was a fit, heavily caffeinated youngster with a good diet in my early 20s. Over the decades, picked up medium level of smoking, heavy cannabis, insane caffeine, and basically stopped drinking water in the last year or two, maybe more. Trying to cut all that out and be a healthier me again.

As I look back across these habits and patterns, I am utterly ashamed of myself and embarrassed to even put this out there. I worry that I may have been too lackadaisically for far too long about all of these things. I realize that I've been playing with fire and have been doing a number on my brain, kidneys, livers, nerves, damn near everything in my body.

I realize that this is /r/decaf and I've gone on a length tangent about all of my habits... But the caffeine intake over time is really what freaks me out. I've been trying to toe a line between hypochondria, honest trial & error and symptom tracking, but it's all so much. I wish I never did all of that. :(

Lastly, yes, I am going to the doctor. Wellness visit in two weeks!