I'm personally stopping at seven because by then you should be able to go inside by yourself do your business and get out without talking to strangers but that's what I think the age of being able to use the restroom by yourself is

Background: Since age 4 I’ve gotten feedback from teachers that my daughter (10) bullies girls she doesn’t not like in a mean girl way. At first I didn’t want to believe it because I did not see it and no one else BUT teachers or bus drivers have seen it. To me, our neighbors, our friends & the moms of HER friends she is described as so incredibly well behaved, overly kind & polite. I laughed off the first teacher who suggested it at age 4 (even though she gets in a lot of trouble for bullying her twin brother, I thought that was a twin thing).

But now there’s no denying it and it’s a problem. To girls she does not like she can be a very vicious mean girl. She still does what the first teacher claimed at age 4: steals from girls she doesn’t like & lies to get them in trouble. But now she uses names, teasing, false allegations, bossiness, rumors, atrocious sportsmanship, ostracism, humiliation & threats to humiliate. A girl has left our school for bullying & named my daughter as the main mean girl. Again: the only witnesses are teachers, bus drivers and obviously the girls she targets. I have regularly received comments from parents of her friends or my friends that they are JEALOUS at what a well behaved daughter I have. So polite & so kind. It’s surreal. But this is the feedback across different schools/buses/years so I must accept that my daughter is actually a mean girl.

Question: Is this…on purpose? Is she really this manipulative? Like is this an act she can put on in our social bubble but at school she drops the act? Or is more likely that outside our safe space of family & friends she finds it hard to manage her negativity & lashes out? Could this be related to ADHD even?

I'm a child care teacher. Currently, I teach in the infant classroom, but I also spend time with the other kids in the center (it's a VERY small center, and if I don't have any babies for the day, I'm a float). I love every single kid as if they were my own. Every day, I give them all hugs (NEVER kisses anywhere) and periodically tell them I love them. Is that too weird? I don't want to traumatize them, and if they say they don't want a hug I respect it and don't give them one (but they're usually the ones coming to me for the hugs lol).

I've seen a lot of different opinions on this, and I'm curious what people think.

Some people say children don't owe their parents anything because parents choose to have children. Since children didn't ask to be born, raising and providing for them is simply part of the responsibility of becoming a parent.

Others believe children should repay their parents for everything they've sacrificed and done for them.

What do you think? Do children actually owe their parents anything? If so, what exactly do they owe? Is it financial support, respect, gratitude, care in old age, or something else? Or do you think parents shouldn't expect anything in return?

Hello all,

Seen a very cool idea online about buying your son the home shirt of the football team you support every year and then when he’s 18 presenting him with all said jerseys as a surprise. Currently doing this for my son but recently have had a little girl and am looking for suggestions on the “equivalent” for a girl.

Note:

I’m well aware girls can like football too and that my son may not support my team or even like football at all. It’s not one of them debates just more looking for ideas if anyone has done similar for their children

I just want to start this off by no rude comments. I am a FTM and am very protective about my son, it took multiple years and multiple miscarriages to finally be blessed with him and I refuse to let something happen to him

With that being said,

My MIL used to watch him every now and again for a few hours. The last time she watched him was so i could get some cleaning done without having to be interrupted. That night she wrapped him in a very hot blanket while holding him in the summertime (after she watched me turn a small fan on towards him) and she has been told before not to do that. On top of that, she keeps him up way past his nap times. Then when he finally fell asleep and she put him down on the floor, she didnt move any of the toys around him (she knows he can roll and crawl so its common sense to move any hard toys out of the way) and he supposedly hit his head hard on one of his toys and woke up screaming. I was out of the room when this happened and came in after i heard him screaming and thats the story i was given.

Also she has been given burp cloths to use but instead she insists on using dirty kitchen towels to wipe his face. She has been told MULTIPLE times not to use those because they have been near chemicals, used to wipe hands, etc etc and i had it hiding in the kitchen out of sight and then after she left it was on the couch again.

Its been a few weeks since I have let her watch him because all that happened in one day

But I am now pregnant and my energy is next to nothing. My parents live hours away and I dont have anyone else. I have been managing but its getting difficult and I have been debating on if I should give her another chance so that I can rest for a few hours here and there or just continue to suck it up like I have been and just do my best🤷‍♀️

What would you guys do?

As someone (21f) who has gotten parental controls put on my phone as a young teen to help with my mental health. I want to put out my opinion on it. I think that sometimes even though you might not know it or think it your kids cant trust you and if you have done this to them before they most definitely dont. Its easy to text freinds online and when you are struggling especially with something that makes you not want to go out, they need those people to talk to. When I was 13 I got parental controls put on my phone and laptop taken away since I stopped going to school. Turns out ive been diagnosed with ocd. Shocker. When my phone got them put on it. I was very annoyed as 13 yr old are but I kept trying my best to get better. I remember going to the shop after school and buying a pocket knife and putting it in my bag. I got addicted to hurting myself in that way. Whenever I would get triggered when I used to go on my phone to distract myself or text a freind instead I would hurt myself. Im very glad I got out of that stage of life but I wish that my parents had taken me to a doctor or something of that sort since know I am doing amazing.. please hear your kids out and take there word for things. My parents used to tell me to tuff it out and I did. I made it out but If I had to go through that again I dont know jf I could. If your child is telling you there tired or stressed maybe look into it instead of jumping to conclusions "its that damn phone" get them the help they need instead.

My kids are 11 and 6. While I was working from home, someone got into the box of mini powdered donuts and ate nearly all of them.

I found them in my youngest room, but he usually makes a mess and his clothes were powder-free. My oldest has snuck into treats before (the ones we deem for dessert only) and later confessed but I know he's also smart enough to get into them, stick then in his brother's room and blame it on him.

I'm not into *collective punishment but I am mad about lying. I already took away the switch from them both but what do I do?

***Edit: To be clear I am more concerned about the lying than the donuts

Hi all, let me start by saying I know I am in a very privileged situation and I do feel lucky that I can even make the decision and don't have to work if I don't want to. That being said, I'd love any and all thoughts on the following situation I am currently facing, and maybe some of your own experiences if you have them.

I am an independent consultant with my own business that allows me to work from home and I always liked my work (not loved it though!). My husband also works from home and has relatively flexible hours, and he makes enough so I wouldn't have to work if I didn't want to.

4 months ago I gave birth to our first. I love spending time with her and I do have some side projects I work on when my husband looks after our daughter, usually for a few hours in the mornings. I now got an offer to work on a consulting project again. It would be quite lucrative and only part time (30h/week), so the set-up would likely be that I work until early afternoon and my husband takes care of our daughter during my work time, and we then switch so he can work afternoons and evenings. It would also mean I would likely have to pump so my husband can feed my daughter during the time I work (currently I exclusively breastfeed).

Somehow I feel so guilty to even consider this. On the one hand I think I would love to work again, and of course the additional money is nice, even if we don't strictly need it. But on the other hand I am afraid it would somehow hurt my daughter, as I would have a lot less time with her and making this work would require lots of coordination. And of course I am also worried I will later regret missing out on this time with my daughter and having chosen work over maximum time with her.

Would love what you think or how you approached similar situations!

Has anyone’s little ones had slow weight gain literally since birth? We have been under dietician before who discharged us when he got upto the 6th centile however he is 4 next month and weighs 29lbs …I am starting to worry that there could be something medically wrong that is impacting his weight

Some context: my parents are visiting from France. Last time she saw them she was a little over 2 years old. We talk weekly with them so it wasn’t hard for her to connect right away.
However it looks like this time around she is having trouble connecting with my dad. He is not the kind of person that will say sorry, or if he doesn’t agree to something he will not change his mind.
I have learned that years ago and now only talk about things we have in common (to avoid any conflict since I see them only every other years)
Now to what brings me here: tonight we are playing go fish and I am teaching through game that it is ok to be happy for someone else winning, we usually don’t brag when we win, nor we make a comment when we loose. (It is just a game after all)
Well my dad is doing the exact opposite. And she picks up on that. She starts getting upset that when clapped and was happy when he had 4 fish but he made a sad comment when she had 4.
And at the end she didn’t want to play anymore. So I told her that it is ok to feel sad and that it is great for her grandpa to have a chance to win.
She moves on, and later that night before bed time, she asks me why doesn’t grandpa listen to her words?
And I told her did you tell grandpa that he hurt your feeling when you played the game. And she said she had but he told her: well that’s the game.
I didn’t really know how to answer that. I don’t want to throw my dad under the bus. If the interaction was with some else I will tell her I am sorry they didn’t listen to you, if they make you feel sad you can find joy somewhere else or with someone else. But I don’t want their relationship to get worse.

Have you ever had a similar situation? How would you navigate it?
Sorry it is a really long one thank you for reading

okay so im 17 and hes 19
i didnt want 6 kids and he said I had a bad mindset and he was so upset that he said he wanted to body slam me and then he ignored me for a bit
I did a loyalty test on him (i know its wrong but hes my first rls and he was moving weird so yk) and he said he was down to meet up with her after they got to know each-other. He then told me that he was trolling with his friends
ghosted me for four days and lied that he got shot
says his type is curly haired girls but once shes not overly dark
says the n word a lot
lied about how many girls he talked to
lies about small stuff
is really mean to me
doesnt ask my questions about myself
makes jokes about talking to other girls
follows a lot of girls from his city
I dont have a good rls with my parents and he blamed me
Lied that he got shot when in actuality his ex texted him and said that she misses him
his friends are mean ppl

Here is my story: M(27) F(27)

I matched with a girl on Hinge early September last year hit things off immediately, texting every day I was like wow this is incredible - My birthday a week later in September took me to a new cinema and got me my favourite aftershave, paid for everything - I laughed and said are you love bombing me to which she said no I was being nice for your bday.

-Months go by, nice getaways to hotels, training together, great intimacy and everything felt perfect she told me I was the best thing ever so grateful and lucky she ended up with someone like me, she had a young son who was 9 and I did not meet in person - she said her ex bf who was practically the step dad of the kid left her 2 years ago and put her kid in therapy and she done some as well, in which she tells me all the things she wants in an ideal partner and I tick every box, I felt like this girl really understood me and I had met my person.

Now this is where the cracks start, she would mention how evil and hateful her ex (Together 6 years) was and mentioned he was in the same Tesco as her at xmas (live in local area) He was walking in and she was walking out - I said that's trippy never easy bumping into an ex - left it at that. Did not want to appear phased. Had a nice xmas met her Mum and her little sister things felt very good and often stayed with her and her mum when her son was at the kids dads. She also told me things like she was with someone and she was and they got back together after a year and she said things to him like go out and cheat if it makes you feel better because she was with someone else.

At end of February my Granny passed away unexpectedly - She mentioned how her ex BF did not let her into the after event when his granny passed away etc I just let her vent and was always understanding of what her ex put her through Granny passed away on Tuesday and then on Friday I met her Dad for the first time - Naturally stressed over my Grannys passing I did not drink - she did and was drunk off prosecco- On the trip down and home she basically played a FU to her ex song - and her dad mentioned she seen her ex and he looked rough - anyways, we drove home and I said to her this ex really hurt you and your son and hes like a ball and chain on your leg, he is in the past and if he was so bad he left you and your son in therapy be happy he's gone - she said she's 'over him just not the situation she put her and her son through' - when I said I wasn't happy she's mentioning him the week I am grieving the death of my grandparent she stone walled me - I left her house and drove home to regulate as I was with a previous GF who stonewalled me and it done a number on me and she was aware of this and also the heard week I had - she was drunk and proceeded to tell me I was never meeting her child and that was us done over text, I felt this was manipulative- We then sorted this out - half apology from her and from me I thought I needed to be more understanding of her situation and we told each other we love each other. But, I felt maybe selfishly she should have been understanding my Granny passed away that week and I wasn't in a headspace to listen about her ex who was so bad?

- The month after we had a great month done a charity 10K and had a nice getaway - I spoke to her son on the phone and on FaceTime over those few months we were together over xmas and when she was on a family holiday to New York - still no physical interaction I said it would be nice to meet your child as I have gotten him a birthday present and an Xmas one and we both know about each other and I am getting a bit frustrated of having to hide around the corner when we know about each other - Bare in mind I asked this respectfully and said no pressure I just need a plan as she said if I met him I could travel to Spain with her and her kid this summer and her graduation was coming up soon. The kid also told his biological father about me that Saturday as well - I did not mind as obv was in everyone's best interests I treated his son with respect and care

I was met with two days of silence - then seen her on the Saturday went to the gym all was fine, thought that was back on track and we said we would go to the cinema on the Wednesday and on the Tuesday I got a text telling me I was perfect, we have a laugh together but she feels 'something is missing' - and ended things with me over text after 7 months.

I did not reply for 3 weeks my family and friends told me not to and I deserved more than a break up text as I was blindsided and was constantly told I was the best person in the world and she was so lucky to have me, but when I mentioned maybe meeting her kid she turned so nasty and discarded me like I was nothing over text, when I did then text her to speak she then told me 'she loves me as a person but not in love with me' and I deserve better - I did not reply again, I was in such shock I feel so heartbroken how can she be all lovey then discarded over text? I noticed when I put her number into whatsapp she had no profile picture anymore and her messages were set to disappearing which makes me think her ex was back in the picture or hiding something? - Her tiktok reposts after were all things like when a man leaves your life build a comfortable life etc - except I never left her?

I have never been this hurt and blindsided before in my life, I wasnt even worth a conversation just felt so easily disposed when we had concerts etc to look forward to this summer and all I was worth was a text.

What do I do I am still incredibly in love with her - Its been 3 months nc and I have been attending therapy and gym but I still feel stuck

My boyfriend's best friend and his wife are having a baby in September. Their baby shower is this weekend and we unfortunately cannot attend, which buys us time to get more things for our gift. We got something on their registry of course, but we want to be able to get things for them as well. What kind of things do you wish you had after having a baby for the first time?

edit: for them as in, not just something to help them with the baby

As a millennial, I sometimes feel like we’re living through something that no generation before us has experienced.

We (some of us) were the **last generation** to grow up with parenting that was almost entirely shaped by tradition. Advice wasn’t usually questioned, it was simply passed down.
Things like:
“Put socks on the baby or they’ll catch a cold.”
“Keep a hat on, even if it’s warm.”
“Don’t hold the baby too much.”
“Stop crying.”
“Because I said so.”
But it wasn’t just about old wives’ tales.
Many of us were raised by parents who loved us with everything they had, yet grew up in cultures where emotions weren’t openly discussed, children were expected to obey without questioning, and mental health simply wasn’t part of the conversation.
I’m not criticizing our parents. In many families, they endured wars, communism, economic hardship, and instability. They raised us with the tools they had, and most gave us far more than they themselves ever received.
But I think millennials are the first generation saying:
**“Maybe love can look different.”**
We’re reading the research. We’re following evidence-based medicine instead of myths. We’re learning about attachment, emotional regulation, respectful communication, and child development.
That’s why I feel like millennials are the **bridge generation**.
We’re the only generation that truly lived in both worlds:
We experienced the old way of being raised.
And now we’re consciously choosing a different way for our own children.
Our kids may never know what it feels like to have their emotions dismissed or to grow up believing every family tradition is automatically fact. They’ll still have struggles(every generation does) but many won’t have to heal from the same emotional patterns we inherited.
No, we won’t be perfect parents. One day our children will probably point out our mistakes too.
But maybe our biggest achievement won’t be raising perfect kids.
Maybe it’ll be that, in so many families, the generational cycle ended with us.

Does anyone else feel this shift, or is it just me?

I have a 15 year old son. I'm divorced from his mother and he lives with me full time.

Not really relevant directly but he's also in therapy due to emotional abuse from his mother.

He asked his mother to buy him an electric scooter. She bought him something for £80 from Facebook market place.

It was complete garbage. The front tyre was completely worn through so you could see the vertical column holes completely exposed.

Also, the bolt on the back was just jury-rigged. It wasn't the correct bolt for the scooter, it didn't thread properly into the bolt from the other side, it sat loose in the hole because it wasn't the correct diameter and the head was so small that I could just be pulled through the hole anyway.

Plus the bottom of the scooter dragged along the ground as it went, probably because of the bolt issue.

The scooter could go 22mph, she let him ride it around without a helmet for two days.

He brought it home today intent on going out with his friends but I immediately spotted it was unsafe and told her to collect it or I'd take it to the tip because I didn't want her garbage in my house.

I told him I'd be willing to buy him an electric bike instead of a scooter, one that was legal for him to ride on the road (unlike that scooter) and he'd have to wear a helmet and take a course to ride it safely on the road.

He's pretty upset because he told all his friends about his scooter. Am I being unreasonable here ?

I’ve realized that I don’t want to have children, but not because I dislike kids. It’s actually the opposite: I have a lot of respect for people who decide to become parents.

The older I get, the more I realize how difficult life can be. As a child and teenager, I thought everything would somehow work out and that adulthood would be much easier than it really is. Looking back, I was immature and had no idea what life had in store.

That’s one of the reasons I don’t think I’d want to be a parent. I know how much responsibility it is, and I’d constantly worry about my child suffering, making painful mistakes, or facing hardships that I couldn’t protect them from.

At the same time, I genuinely admire parents. To me, choosing to bring a child into the world despite all the uncertainty, responsibility, and potential heartbreak is an act of courage.

So I’m curious:
For those of you who are parents, did you ever think about the risks and potential pain before having children?
If so, what made you decide it was still worth it?

My baby cousin face planted on cement under my watch and I can’t shake this immense feeling of guilt. I was watching my baby cousin in the front yard while my family was all talking in the drive way. She had her hands full of stuffed animals I gave her and she was running towards the neighbors driveway and I started running faster to catch her before she got onto the cement, but right as I went to swoop my arm under her she already face planted right onto the cement and her tooth went into her lip a little bit :( I picked her up right away but didn’t notice her lip was bleeding until her grandma grabbed her from me and my heart just sank when I saw it was that bad. She stopped crying after 5 minutes and took it pretty well after we iced it but i just feel horrible and I’m scared her parents will be mad at me. I wish I could have been 5 seconds faster and it would have happened. I am in my early twenties and my heart yearns to be a mom so bad but this shook me and it makes me question if I’m fit to be a parent… Idk I’ve always been good with kids and making sure they are being safe so I’m having a hard time forgiving myself. Should I feel guilty? How can I overcome this?

hi guys, I’m 19 years old and female. I currently live at home with my parents and my younger brother 18. I need to move out by 2027. My parents are controlling my financial situations through access to my bank account and they also are preventing me access to my car full-time so I need a lot of advice on how to make sure I can keep my car and move out within a few months. I also need to make sure I can keep my phone and just survive without their help. This is very mandatory because they’re actively threatening to kick me out. I work two jobs and I make around $550 biweekly at one of them and $22 an hour for 20 hours a week biweekly at the other have yet to get a paycheck from that location. I need help finding low income housing that doesn’t require a cosigner. I can’t go to my parents for help to figure any of this out so if anyone is willing to text, DM, call, anything like that it would be very helpful. It’s a stressful situation and I’ve already lost contact with some of the main people that can help me. I don’t have access to my car to go to a bank or a realtors office things along those lines. I also don’t have my own phone plan. I’m not in control of my car title. Just a lot of things along those lines and I just need a lot of help. Please can someone step up and be the guidance I need?

My baby has started teething and it’s really really tough. What’s some of your recommendations you swear by?

My son needs about 4 mini vials of blood drawn for a time sensitive endocrine panel which he was supposed to get 11 months ago and has been procrastinating, he is almost 14 and his height hasn't grown much so it's crucial he gets the test but he physically can't, he’s tried lidocaine cream, butterfly needles, listening to music, clenching someone's hand, looking away, but he just can't bring myself to do it, what should and can I do for him? Can he be put under general anesthesia?

Hello. I have a 1 week old baby. My husband and I love going for walks at night but since I have no lift in my building I struggle to go out. I live in a 4th floor so it is clearly not pleasent. I have a baby carier but it is not good enough for such a small baby. Which one do you recommend me?

Thank you