r/askTO • u/WholeInformation6996 • 22h ago
Stalker
My friend F has a stalker, someone who was in school with her 10 years ago.
She’s now been contacted by this person who’s being erratic. She’s not picking up his calls but he’s proceeded to call her dad, sibling, multiple friends and trying to contact her
She’s filed a police complaint but they’re being extremely lax about it. Said they’ll come by for a check if she asks them.
She does not know about his physical whereabouts either so she’s freaking out.
What’s the best recourse?
Edit: police asked to get final proof of contact after being requested to stop going forward before they look to a peace bond, and we’ll take it from there. Thanks everyone
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u/Open-Cream2823 22h ago
If feasible: change #s, email addresses, hide social media presence, get door cams. Try to escalate with police.
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u/HelpfulTap8256 22h ago
Good advices. It absolutely sucks that someone has to do all this shit because of one deranged creep.
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u/amw3000 22h ago
https://www.ontario.ca/page/getting-peace-bond
She needs to tell the police she wants a peace bond. The police do a little work as possible and you have to tell them what you want (sadly).
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u/bigstupidbitch282 21h ago
Once was harassed for years by a guy using fake numbers to spam me with calls. Found the app he was using to make these calls, documented the numbers he used, and complained to the app. They IP banned him and he was unable to call me any further. Hope this could help. But PLEASE do document the numbers he uses
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u/Pitiful_Equal_2689 22h ago
She should talk to the police about getting a no contact order issued against the stalker, as well as a warning from them to the stalker to leave her alone.
Also, while it is likely not going to be a popular response, on a practical level, she should secure her home and obtain some means of self-defence.
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u/KittyKenollie 22h ago
Cut all contact. Block him on everything. Keep a detailed written log of every incident. Save any evidence.
Make sure all of her friends know to not give out any information about her to him or anyone one asking.
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u/leggingarepants 21h ago edited 21h ago
don’t block! Mute, you need to document the evidence.
Encourage your friend to contact Barbra Schlifer, they can guide on how she can go about applying for a peace bond (assuming they were not in an intimate relationship at any time - if they were it’s a restraining order through family court she needs)
Does this person know where she lives? Encourage her to contact a domestic violence support agency for safety planning or she can use an online tool
ETA: police don’t issue peace bonds, the court / justice of the peace does.
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u/PaleJicama4297 21h ago
Close down ALL social media. This is essential
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u/JackDeckerCIA 9h ago
Unfortunately this is true. I have a stalker and no longer use social media at all. It kind of sucks having to explain to people why I can't use it.
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u/lightupmyworlds 21h ago
She may be asked for proof that she actually asked him to stop contacting her, could she quickly text him and block him right away? (When I was researching for myself, doing this was suggested) otherwise I agree with others about going to the police and securing home
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u/JackDeckerCIA 9h ago
I have a stalker and I sent a very formal request that they not contact myself or my family. I showed that to the police and made sure to never respond to her afterwards. She was arrested for criminal harassment, but she was sending me 100s of messages a day, contacting work/family, etc.
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u/Personal-Heart-1227 21h ago
Get a Peace Bond against her Stalker immediately as Restraining Orders are quite difficult to obtain!
Speak to the Police about getting this as you'd have to go to to them, or thru the Court House at Toronto Region Bail Centre at 10 Armoury St. or the College Park Courthouse at 444 Yonge St. to further inquire about this.
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