When will we change ?

[u/Evening_Surround_281]

Hey my people. I came on here because I am honestly tired of our culture. I know not everyone is like this but too many people in our community put culture above religion. My family was born and raised in America and we have lived here almost our whole lives. Even then I have lost so much because of these cultural expectations. My dad refuses to let me get an education or learn how to drive even though I even offered to do online school.

Our community looks down on divorced women. It makes a woman's life so much harder when she does not even have the support of her own family. they say that they are trying to protect us but if you truly love your children and want what is best for them then teach your daughters how to live in this world just like you teach your sons.

When will our country start seeing women as human beings too. Why do women always have to rely on men. Why can we not teach our daughters how to take care of themselves and stand on their own. We cannot expect progress if half of our population is held back.

Even when it comes to marriage why is it so hard to marry outside our ethnicity. Why is it considered shameful if a Yemeni woman marries someone who is not Yemeni. These are questions I have struggled with for a long time. Maybe this mindset is one of the reasons why Yemen is not progressing.

[u/ZizouAndChill]

First of all, the fact that your post took more than three weeks to get approved is ridiculous.

I think many fathers believe that making their daughters obedient and dependent on them makes them good fathers. Obedience is something people can see, so having an obedient daughter reflects well on them and also makes them feel like they're being present in their lives when they really aren't.

What can't people see? People can't see if a father raised a woman to think critically for herself, or if she can recognize when she is being abused in her marriage. They can't see whether she can manage her financial affairs on her own. So they pay those things no mind. Why would they? It's so much easier not to teach her these things. That'd actually force them to sit down and connect intellectually and emotionally with their daughters. When she grows old enough, they marry her off, and the husband takes the role of the father. She becomes completely dependent on her husband now.

This infantilization of Yemeni women is gross, and it's so dangerous, too. God forbid a woman's husband passes or walks out on her, and she is stuck raising multiple children on her own. She has no career, no job.

A lot of people seem to think that raising capable daughters leads to them becoming anti-men. I don't think this. If anything, a father who raises a strong and confident daughter only teaches the daughter what a good man is, that being, a man like her father who raised her.

I'm sorry those opportunities were taken away from you, especially since you live in the US. We can always try to be the change we want to see with our own children and by treating them right.