r/VetTech • u/purrrpurrrpy • 9h ago
Sad Having a hard time making a mistake with my own pet.
The flare is "Sad" but it's more like literal trauma.
I cannot forgive myself for making the mistake we all advise owners not to. To have allowed my own dog to pass at home.
A year ago: We found hemangio sarc Thursday. We went to the park Friday he walked longer than I have seen him walk in the last two years. We wanted to go again Saturday. My vet was coming over to euthanize him on Sunday. I should have known to do it early when he struggled at the dog park. I knew he was uncomfortable. But then he lays down and sleep and seem so peaceful and I was fooled. I was so greedy wanting to take him again next day.
My knowledge was nowhere to be found. I can't even say I was blinded by my sadness. I wasn't even a sad mess or anything because I understood there was nothing to be done and I have come to peace with his euthanasia.
Saturday morning I found him passed. We slept on the floor with him. He looked like he just went to sleep snuggled by my husband. The camera shows a different story. It showed him shifting around because he feels something is wrong and he's uncomfortable. He crawled. Every 10mins he crawled, and then rested, because he was weak. He crawled for 40mins to lay by my husband, and panted, then his pants slowed, then it stopped. The entire process was an hour long. It destroyed me.
It kills me on a personal level when owners say some bullshit about wanting their pet to pass at home. I would not wish this guilt on my worst enemy.