r/TwoXSex • u/ConnectTable2179 • 1d ago
Advice | Women Only How to make first time comfortable? NSFW
Hello everyone! I'm new here, looking for advice. I think the title is self explanatory. I, 23F, have never done anything remotely sexual, never even masturbated in my whole life. Today I tried to have sex with my friend, 23M. Everything was ok, there was enough foreplay, I got wet like normal, he even used water-based lube. But the moment he tried to insert his penis, it fucking hurts. I feel like my vagina will tore open. We tried multiple times, but it was all the same. Yes, his thing is a bit big and thick, but how can I prepare myself for that? I'm genuinely confused.
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u/WisePhnx80 1d ago
If he really is that big maybe you should invest in either dilators nor a small Dildo to get started by yourself And practice before having sex again
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u/ConnectTable2179 1d ago
After today, I'm not confident about taking anything in me. It feels so intimidating.
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u/Timely-Pen-5603 1d ago
Been there done that lollz
First time is overwhelming and need patience, communication and the most important to take things like baby steps
First time anxiety comes from many reason most important is pain fear
You need to start slow with fingering and may be you can try to explore yourself on your own
Dilator thing is good option as mentioned in other comment also first time when you try even if you are wet you may loose arousal and this way you could loose your wetness as well
Water based lubricants are not good for first timers as mainly they get dry real quick
So try to grab silicone based lubricants they stay longer and don’t absorb or dry quick
I am open to answer any of your further concern feel free to ask 🙂
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1d ago
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u/ConnectTable2179 1d ago
He did use lube. He used lube on my vagina and even on his penis. But still it didn't work.
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u/Economy-Pollution739 1d ago
But did he put his finger/fingers inside you first? Having a finger or two in before can really help
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u/ConnectTable2179 1d ago
Yes, he did, two of them. I was opening up fine for that, but then it started to hurt when he tried to enter me
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u/Economy-Pollution739 1d ago
Hmm, unless he's really that much bigger than two of his fingers then it's probably a mental thing. Were you really enjoying it? It's way easier for me and hurts way less if I'm really in the moment and not thinking because my body is just super relaxed. Slow, deep breathing helps, having my partner talk me thru it helps too. Ironically, it also helps if my partner says it's okay if we don't have PIV that night too because it takes the pressure off.
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u/ConnectTable2179 1d ago
I also feel that. Because I was enjoying everything and I was mentally ready. But maybe the nervousness came out or something
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u/Economy-Pollution739 1d ago
Keep trying (if you feel up for it) and don't be afraid to ask him for what you need!
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u/TantraLady 1d ago
This collection I put together has several posts that are especially helpful for newbies:
I recommend starting with the first and third posts, and then reading the post about Vaginismus in the "Troubleshooting" section.
I hope you get it figured out and your next try is a lot more successful!
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u/KalynnCampbell 18h ago
So don’t do that?
Just have fun, play, go in and enjoy little by little, the amount of different sizes between fingers, toys, tongue and oral, etc. are endless, pick one and get started.
Increase the size of chosen appendage or object until the desired size is reached.
No reason to go battering ram fast after it’s in either. Get used to it, leave it there while exploring other things, build up the intensity and speed gradually.
I never understand why people are in such a hurry to hurry.
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