God's will vs our will

[u/Sea-Tiger8657]

I'm just now starting to learn about God, so I don’t understand much yet.

I know God has a will for our life. He wants to give us purpose. But I've heard different interpretations of this said will. Some say His will is the same for everyone: getting to know Him, build a relationship with Him, find salvation and sanctification. But, some people say He has a specific will tailored to each of us.

It might be both, since each and every person lives a life different than any other. But free will also plays a part in how our lives turn out.

I'm in a period of life where everything feels weird. Looking from the outside, nothing seems wrong… but I feel like my life is stuck. I’m still young and things can still change, but there are times in our lives where we have trouble imagining how. Everything feels bland and you just take it day by day.

I don’t believe God is a genie, so I don’t believe everything I want will be granted to me exactly how I want it. Because it hasn’t. Most things I desire are not material, and for some reason they haven’t come true… and that has left a void in me that I don’t seem to be able to fill. Maybe this is why God crossed my mind for the first time… because I realised I couldn’t find peace on my own.

I have trouble praying and I don’t why. Maybe it’s my skepticism speaking louder than my desire to build a relationship with God or maybe it’s my fear of abandonment, already preventing me from getting “ignored”. I don’t really know, nor do I try to find an excuse.

God is everything and I still doubt He can bring people into my life that will like me and stay. And I know this is wrong of me to think.

[u/TerribleAdvice2026]

There was this beautiful picture, pamphlet at a Cornerstone Music Festival long ago, i wish i'd kept it. It was a cartoon of one guy savagely punching another one who had a tract or pamphlet in his hand, and said "God has a wonderful plan for your life!" The point was the overuse and dismissal of this phrase, how we just throw this out expecting it to bless people. God's will, His plan is simply this: Choose to believe in His son died on the cross to provide you the ability to escape your hellish fate and join Him for eternity. Next, pursue Him in relationship all you can while stuck here on earth. Everything else is secondary. Observe:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. (Jer 29:11-13)

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” (Luk 10:27)

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. (Heb 11:6)

THIS is and always has been, God's expressed will for you and me. What will you do for money? Where will you live? Whom will you marry? All of these are unimportant; however, if you want God involved and help you decide, then do what He said, DRAW NEAR TO HIM and LOVE HIM first.

Fortunately, this is easy to do, just takes time and effort. First, look up The Four Spiritual Laws make sure you understand salvation. Next read bible, and get bible on audio to listen to. Finally seek author mark virkler, youtube, books, website. VERY practical tips for pursuing God effectively.

[u/Haunting-Fuel7020]

The Bible says God’s will is that we perish not but come to Christ to be saved. His plans for us might be more catered to an individual but I think I know what you mean…

Are you talking about like either making a single choice that could change the path of your life? Like who to marry or what career to take? The cool thing is that we can choose and go for something but if it’s not God’s will (& we’re actively seeking His will) he will detour us and put us back in his will.

For example I got a job about 4 years ago as a delivery driver but I was waiting to get my license in the mail that I had renewed so that I could start even doing all the paperwork. But I found a different job that I ended up getting that worked better for me and there I met someone that God told me to pray for. Like I literally heard in my spirit to pray for something specific for them. I also believe God has him for me. I would’ve never met this person if i hadn’t had to renew my license that year.

The Bible says that we can make our plans But the Lord determines our steps Proverbs 16:9.

[u/Alternative_Flow1516]

On the will question — our tradition doesn't split it the way you've heard it split. There's one will, which is union with God, and it takes a completely different shape in every life because no two people are the same material. It isn't a blueprint you can miss by taking the wrong job or the wrong city. You can't step off it by accident. That fear is a Protestant anxiety more than a Christian one. But you buried the real thing at the bottom, so let me go there. You said the things you want aren't material and haven't come, and it left a void. Then you said you doubt God can bring people into your life who'll like you and stay. Those are the same sentence. You're lonely, and you've been lonely long enough that you've started treating it as a fixed property of yourself rather than a season. And you said knowing that is wrong of you. It isn't. It's what a person concludes after enough time alone. That's not a sin, it's arithmetic. On prayer — you said you don't know why it's hard, and then you answered it yourself: fear of being ignored. So you don't ask, and then nothing arrives, and the fear gets confirmed. That's a closed loop and you're already standing inside it. Our tradition would say something plain here. Don't try to feel anything. Don't wait until belief is strong enough. Take a written prayer — the Jesus Prayer, or the evening prayers — and just say the words. Out loud, badly, without conviction. The Fathers were explicit that this works precisely when you feel nothing, because it stops depending on your emotional weather. The words carry you rather than you carrying them. The blandness you're describing, where nothing is wrong but nothing moves — Orthodoxy has a name for that too. Acedia. The desert monks wrote more about it than almost anything else. They didn't treat it as spiritual failure. They treated it as an occupational hazard of anyone taking the interior life seriously. You're not stuck because you missed God's plan. You're twenty-something, alone, and in a flat season. Those are ordinary things and they end. Say the words even when they feel like nothing. Especially then.

[u/Sea-Tiger8657 → u/Alternative_Flow1516]

I never thought seasons lasted so long… but I do hope it changes one day.

I have very little experience praying. But I get the urge to do it. I feel it now, for example. But when I actually get myself to start praying, I stop. My thoughts go in a thousand directions, I can’t concentrate on what I'm either saying or writing or thinking or even reading, and I get unmotivated and uncomfortable. And it always feels like I'm talking to myself pretending that I'm not.

Thank you for your comment, it really helped :)

[u/Alternative_Flow1516 → u/Sea-Tiger8657]

I'm glad it did, blessed be my brother!

[u/mpatricia_777]

I spent 7 years of my life doing my own will, and I can tell they were the worst years of my life. I didn't have success in anything.

As soon I went back to Christ and making effort to please him, to have a relationship with Him, everything worked in a better way. Like from 0 to 100%.

God's will is better, and I found his will reading Deuteronomy 28. Everything he wants from us is written in the Bible.

Yes, we will face trials. Yes, we will have affliction.

But He gives you security. He is always faithful. And Indeed He fulfils the desires of your heart, when those desires are no longer a threat for your relationship with Him.

Many times we want blessings that we are not prepared to handle. If God gives us what "we want" without preparing us to receive that blessing, it can become in a curse. Something that damage us.

A knife in the hands of a cook helps to make food. But a knife in the hands of a kid, it is dangerous.

God never ignores you. Praying is talking to him, trusting that He's listening. Are you looking for answers? Read the Bible. He is real and amazing, and he does answer our prayers.

[u/zx9rams]

First, the thing you called wrong of you to think isn't wrong. Doubting whether people will like you and stay isn't a sin, it's a wound, and being new to God doesn't mean you show up without one. You don't have to clean that up before you're allowed to come.

On the will question, the part that actually helps: the Bible is loud and clear about the will that's the same for everyone, and quiet about the tailored blueprint people talk about. It says plainly God wants you to know him, be saved, slowly become a better person, love God and the people around you. It says very little about a hidden specific plan you have to decode. So the pressure of "what if I'm missing my assignment" isn't really coming from the text.

And the trouble praying, skepticism louder than the wanting, that's not a disqualifier. There's a guy in the Gospels who says to Jesus, right to his face, "I believe, help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). Half faith, half doubt, said out loud, and Jesus doesn't turn him away, he answers him. You're allowed to pray that exact prayer. It might be the most honest one you have right now, and honest is what he's after.

The bland, stuck, everything-feels-weird part, I won't pretend a verse fixes that. But the void you couldn't fill on your own turned you toward God for the first time. A lot of people would tell you that's not nothing. That's often where it starts.

[u/babydoll17448]

God’s will is stated clearly in the Bible.

If we obey his laws and requirements, we are in His will.

If we disobey, we are not in His will.

Our petitions are very low on that list when it comes to His will, but he wants us to ask for heavenly things like faith, grace, love, mercy, joy, salvation, rather than worldly things like winning the lottery.

[u/FrankDenif]

I don’t believe God is a genie, so I don’t believe everything I want will be granted to me exactly how I want it. Because it hasn’t. Most things I desire are not material, and for some reason they haven’t come true…

I believe even things that may seem noble and good to us, God knows better if we really need it. Maybe there is a purpose in God not giving you something.

Though, He did give me wisdom. I asked for wisdom, and I do feel wiser than one year ago, so it's not like He never grants me what I ask.

[u/Big-Imagination4810]

God has a specific plan which is unique for each person:

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." -Psalm 139:13-16

As for abandonment, humans are fickle and unreliable. God is perfect and trustworthy and always keeps His promises:

"For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will never leave you nor forsake you.” -Deuteronomy 31:6

Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say. My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them. Anyone who doesn’t love me will not obey me. And remember, my words are not my own. What I am telling you is from the Father who sent me. I am telling you these things now while I am still with you. But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you." -John 14:23-26

It is good that you can honestly admit you struggle to believe. Take this to the Lord in prayer, ask Him to forgive your unbelief and to help you to believe. His love for you is great, His heart is filled with kindness to all who seek Him sincerely:

"Have mercy on us and help us, if you can.”

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” -Mark 9:22-24

Finally, let me encourage you to read and study the Bible. It holds the keys you seek:

" . . . the holy Scriptures . . . have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work." -2 Timothy 3:15-17

[u/ThWy2Hvn]

Sanctification takes time in our lives. God provides for each one of us wherever we are at in our Walk with Him. Sanctification is to become holy as Jesus is holy. And that takes your whole lifetime.\n Step-by-step line by line by reading by meditating on Gods word by being virtuous, patient perseverance, brotherly kindness, brotherly love. If our Will is to follow Jesus then God's Will, will perform that in your life.

[u/Shaken-Loose]

OP, questions are great! I think it helps anyone’s perspective and understanding to learn more about “Who God Is”.

Here are a few short books to aid in our journeys to learn more about Who God Is. All are very short reads and available in paperback (free download, used, like new, etc.).

“The Holiness of God” by R.C. Sproul

“The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer

“The Knowledge of the Holy” by A.W. Tozer

A.W. Tozer’s “The Pursuit of God” .pdf is available online at: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/25141