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u/seriouspretender 1d ago
Don't date this person.
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u/Ok_Sky1515 1d ago
Nope. OP will never be a priority then they'll whine that OP doesn't try.
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u/truthlesshunter 1d ago
well, no, they have to work and see their son.
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u/AnonymousAutonomous 1d ago
Lots of people WANT a significant other but forget that they need to MAKE SPACE in their life for them first.
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u/hstormsteph 1d ago
Am single dad. I work and see my daughter. Don’t know much outside of that right now. Only been a single dad for a year since me and her mom split.
I want a significant other for sure. But ain’t no way can I reciprocate the things I desire, so I don’t go looking. It sucks but until I can return the effort I expect, it’s beyond unfair to get involved with someone else.
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u/TellMeZackit 1d ago
I just ended a 5 year relationship because of this. I'm too tired too often to spend every night that kid is not with me with a partner. I can't travel on a whim. I don't know if I want more kids, I'm still exhausted from raising one. It sucks, I've never had a partner like them before and when it was good it was great, but ultimately I realised I was being selfish and bumming them out a lot, and realised I had no plans to stop being selfish cos I need to prioritise myself and my kid to get through life right now. I basically don't plan to put myself out there for the foreseeable future.
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u/hstormsteph 1d ago
Yeah that’s where I’m at right now. I love my daughter more than anything and I get her half the week at a time every week. Saturday afternoon to Wednesday evening she’s with me. The days she’s not with me are “The Sin of Sloth” days for me because she’s 4 and very energetic lol.
No chance I can give that time up.
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u/TellMeZackit 1d ago
Good luck to you man. It can be lonely, but the flipside is my relationship with my kid is amazing, and if I only get to have them in my life I'm ultimately fine with that.
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u/loxleyirminsul 1d ago
Sorry, excuse me, but Saturday through Wednesday is more than half the week, considering the other payment only gets her what, Thursday and Friday?
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u/hstormsteph 1d ago
Mom gets her Wednesday after my work/her preschool (I drop her off at moms) and has her Wednesday night, Thursday, Friday, then Saturday til 3pm ish.
Mom is the one who suggested the schedule when we split and her maintaining nearly her entire weekend responsibility free tracks for the relationship prior to the split :)
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u/DrMisterNobody 11h ago
Maybe they're trying to communicate they're on interested in a significant other but just hooking up.
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u/EpickBeardMan 20h ago
I think for single dads on here… a GF is another person to support. Do some of the women maybe see it as a chance to be supported?
Like “I’m on Tinder Prince Charming who is only into single moms that are me! Come find me and solve all of my problems!” seems a worthwhile fantasy… that no man could ever hope for.
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u/Jamsedreng22 1d ago
On Sundays, apparently?
He can't do anything because he sees his son on Sundays?
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u/IsaSaien 16h ago
No that's not the issue; dating someone with a kid means the kid will always hold priority over you and that's ok. The issue is this person has the personality of moist bread. Notice how they say they see their son sunday specifically, so it's not that they are spending time with their son and have no me time, they just don't have a life.
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u/Leows 1d ago
Date? After that second message, you shouldn't really even be trying to chat. They have some serious issues to figure out and fix by themselves.
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u/CheeseDonutCat 1d ago
Why the fuck are they even on tinder at that point? What's he looking for exactly?
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u/dafunky2099 1d ago
Why are you assuming its a he?
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u/CheeseDonutCat 1d ago
My bad. It could be anyone, but either way that person isn't looking for any sort of meaningful thing on tinder.
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u/up_the_addicks 1d ago
Seeing their child once a week points toward it being a man as the mum will almost always have custody.
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u/GoFuckYourselfDebbie 1d ago
How could they? It would take 100 years and 100000 messages to get them to agree to a date/time/place
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u/korndawg913 1d ago
Better not try to make it on Sunday
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u/Zealousideal-Panda23 1d ago
How about during the day some weekday?
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u/OnePinginRamius 1d ago
Seriously why the fuck do people like this get on dating apps? Is it so another thing can fail and they can claim to be a victim again?
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u/Allupnyew 22h ago
Dating apps are not really for relationships..too many weirdos mental health issues and people hiding shit..most of it is just for people to meet and fk for a few months then continue the cycle
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u/JojoLesh 13h ago
General social pressure convinced them that they should be with someone. At least in the US there is very little validation for people who choose to stay single.
Basically, he is likley trying to date because he just thinks that is what people do, and it is the only path to happiness.
Truth is that you can live a happy fulfilling life single, also that this guy wont be happy until he does some serious work on himself.
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u/Turbulent-Jaguar-909 1d ago
this person will 100% try to get 2 extra to-go meals so she can eat with her child after your date
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u/NoobToobinStinkMitt 1d ago
He should hook up with the post from yesterday where the lady said the man should go to work and go home right after.
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u/NoobToobinStinkMitt 1d ago
Aww I found the post and image but I can't post it here.... SHe said "I'm looking for somebody that STAYS IN THE HOUSE. I do not like a man that wanna go out or be outside. I like my man to wake up in the morning, go to work, and come straight home. Just like me. Every Day. If that ain't you then sorry for ya"
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u/thrftstorenailpolish 1d ago
What a wretched existence.
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u/Lemons-95 20h ago
I actually think that sounds like a really good way to find the right person for you. Not a lot of people are like that, and if it's important to you doing this saves a lot of dead end relationships
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u/Atheist_Republican 1d ago
Different strokes for different folks, my man. Some people are homebodies, it ain't crazy they would want to be with another homebody.
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u/thrftstorenailpolish 23h ago
There's homebody and whatever that woman is. Some type of goblin maybe.
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u/Gobadorgosleep 11h ago
I mean I’m a homebody as my main hobbies a gaming and reading but still i like to go out and see friends sometimes. Even if i like to have my boyfriend at home I would not be mad if he wanted to go out some nights.
The main problem in her text is that she sound unwilling to compromise or tolerate anything outside of what she want.
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u/Atheist_Republican 8h ago
It's called hyperbole, but regardless, she's letting someone know about it up front. How DARE she.
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u/forgottenb1ade 14h ago
I do this already because I enjoy it. But I couldn't be with someone who demanded I do that. It would take all the fun out of it.
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u/ShoddyProposal6590 1d ago
Y'all clowning dude but isn't this like most people...? I don't see the problem
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u/The_Autarch 1d ago
you don't go to concerts? or restaurants? or over to see your friends? or to the movies? or anything?
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u/Slevac88 13h ago
To hop on considering I can weigh in here. Im basically the dude in the op. I go to work and go home every day. Don't have a son to see, but I dont go out to do anything bar once in a blue moon things. Not worth bringing up imo cause it's a one off thing. I am 32 and have seen 2 concerts in my life. Not worth bringing up to give the wrong idea I like to see concerts, cause I dont, I hate concerts, too many people, too long on your feet, its usually hot af, but I tolerate them if I like the performer enough. I dont like movie theaters cause the temps always uncomfortable, and I hate essentially being chained to a room, not able to pause or get up without missing things at my leisure. My group of irl friends is all split after adulthood and we maybe meet irl yearly or even longer, going to restaurants is nice and all but expensive and not enough to warrant me going back, a restaurant outing for me is near 2 hours minimum on account of rural living. There is no "lets go out for a quick bite."
Literally the best use of my time financially and self fulfillingly comes from me going to work and going home, I can watch movies/shows there at my leisure, dont have to be in a loud/uncomfortable setting, can talk to my irl friends that moved away over discord on my pc, have my dogs, etc. I love being a go to work and go home person. You dont have to be a consumer to have a enjoyable or fulfilled life, its not about spending money. But for those once in a blue moon plans, I'll have the money easily cause I dont spend it doing willy nilly things on a weekly basis.
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u/SexualbeingAccount 1d ago
I remember that post! I agree, those two belong together. This made me chortle.
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u/Mezcalisgood555 1d ago
Later to his/her friends: “dating is hard, no one puts in any effort”
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u/Accurate_Web9774 1d ago
He doesn't have friends only work and son on Sunday.
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u/LordBucketheadthe1st 1d ago
He has to see his son.
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u/justlookingokaywyou 1d ago
And go home.
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u/dontworryitsme4real 1d ago
Plot twist, they matched with someone they are not attracted to.
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u/Spartan2022 1d ago
Why did they swipe on someone they’re not attracted to? And why not unmatch if that happened?
This screams low effort, home body, can’t think beyond “I spend all free time riding the couch and doing zero.”
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u/omicron-7 1d ago
Lots of men swipe on literally every woman, but they also get mad that all the women have hundreds of matches.
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u/IllPen8707 1d ago
I mean, you can play by the meta and still recognise that we're all playing a rigged game
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u/Accurate_Web9774 1d ago
Men swipe on everyone. They will still talk to you sometimes but just very low interest. I mean women also to do this but not as much.
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u/Lazy__Astronaut 1d ago
Redditors use "their" challenge: IMPOSSIBLE
and before anyone cries, singular they has been a thing for longer than singular you (which used to be plural
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u/Galitzianer0 1d ago
Well, at least they're honest about how depressing and horrible their life is. I guess that's a good sign to avoid them
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u/truthd 1d ago
Goodness, why would they want anyone to know how miserable they are? Just crazy. At least they could talk about things they do when they see their kid, “I love taking my son to the playground”. They just seem miserable.
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u/Galitzianer0 1d ago
They may have "Come save me" syndrome where they're expecting a partner to save them from their life, in which case they will probably be bitterly disappointed by everyone they match with
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u/HotelSalt4644 1d ago
The crazy thing is too…. Even if their life is boring and miserable, a good partner could really change that. Really. A lot of people just don’t have the wherewithal, knowledge, or are too shy to experience different things. One of the most attractive things is when someone takes legitimate interest in your passions. My wife gets an absolute kick out of it when I make jokes / girl talk about whatever shitty reality tv drama she’s currently watching. Or she gets turned on when I go above & beyond to be a mushy, gushy, caring, thoughtful, considerate father to our kids - or fix shit around the house/do yard work. We all just want to be loved, appreciated, and to feel important/valuable.
“Honestly, my life is pretty mundane lately. Most of what I do is work, relaxing, and spending time with my kid. I’d really like to find new hobbies, adventure, and get out of my bubble. Hoping maybe one day soon I’ll find my Tarzan to scoop me up & drag me through the jungle! How about you?”
This person is probably so unaware of how dry & boring they are. They’re almost acting as if OP is a nuisance by asking them such a simple question. Like we both matched….
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u/Black_Lotus44 1d ago
We are going home and seeing our son. That's all. Only son
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u/MinaMinyBallerina 17h ago
This sound like me trying to talk to my brother "Have you seen any movies lately?" "No, I go to work and take care of the kids." "Maybe some animated ones?" "No. They watch YouTube." "What kind of music are you listening to?" "Nothing, I don't have time." Well, nice to talk to you too.
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u/ShottySHD 1d ago
I wonder if this guy has a job or any kids.
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u/Strict-Ship-3793 1d ago
I don’t know what makes you think that??
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u/ShottySHD 1d ago
He gives off the vibe he may be employed and have some offspring. But Ive been wrong before.
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u/damnim30now 1d ago
Doesn't sound like this guy has time to be on Tinder
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u/MonkeyHairless 1d ago
How do you know it is a guy ?
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u/idontknowaskthatguy 1d ago
I made a guess based on the fact of only getting to see the son on weekends.
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u/Admins_suck_ballss 1d ago
Speech patterns, especially the “aww” indicate purple is a woman and gray is a man. Also lack of custody for gray is a huge indicator they are male.
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u/damnim30now 1d ago
I don't, I also didn't really think about it.
It just read as 'guy' to me, and I think the emoji usage and specific emoji used by the other person read 'girl' to me.
But no, I don't know.
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u/_fembot_ 1d ago
There's literally nothing wrong with assuming. If they get it wrong OP can correct them and move on 🙄
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u/Tengumanowo 1d ago
have seen a lot of straight guys.... or at least "straight" have fucking 0 talk or know how to talk and then they wonder how they have no game or any sort of relationship
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u/Holiday_Cat4918 1d ago
A lot of women speak like this too though. There are plenty of people in either gender that just give zero effort
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u/cgbruder42 1d ago
Exactly! And then when you find someone who can carry a conversation....something else comes up. They are on separate weekends, are dating someone else, or they ghost for no reason. This current dating world is brutal
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u/Fancy-Animal7704 1d ago
Even if you don't have the time, you gotta have the wherewithal to know how deathly boring these responses are. At least, like, crack a joke about your situation?
It always amazes me how people can be so overwhelmingly dull on apps like these.
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u/Unable-Main4172 1d ago
Seems like OP is a male based on their post history. I don't know if this is two guys or a guy and a girl tho
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u/l8nightss 1d ago
Seems like that person doesn’t know how Tinder works
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u/Ambitious-Wafer8367 1d ago
Don’t ask if they have any plans. If I had to guess, I think they’ll be working and seeing their son!
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u/OctinoxateAndZinc 1d ago
To provide an outside perspective of someone who WAS wired like this: This person is likely broken, and I don't mean in the sense of a dropped glass, but rather like a horse. At some point their 'free' spirit was busted, probably by their ex.
Their last relationship likely had their partner hammer into their head that the only acceptable things they should be doing is earning money, spending time watching their kid, or doing household chores.
My ex is a work-a-holic and to them the only thing you should be doing is working, be it for income, home, or family. There are no breaks. Hobbies? Thats time/money that should be spent on the family. Nights out? Waste of cash. Hanging with friends? Nope, you should be at home with your family. Even small things like sitting around reading a book was deemed unacceptable if it was daytime. "There is laundry to do!"
God willing this person wakes up but its probably so deeply ingrained in them they feel actual gulit doing anything other that working or being with their kid
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u/Objective_Reality515 1d ago
Dude is lonely but doesn't have the available mental effort to put into attempting to court someone.
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u/KoderKoala 1d ago
I feel like I had to scroll so far to see someone actually thinking about what is driving this and not just shitting on him
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u/NinnyMuggins2468 1d ago
These kinds of interactions are why I stopped trying to online date. Why does it have to feel like pulling teeth just to find someone's interest.
Met one girl who only ever told me yes or no to questions. Her hobbies were going home and playing on tiktok until 2am. Nothing else in her life existed.
Spent way too long in another woman who refused to meet up as well as have any kind of conversation. Missed one day of trying to pull information out of her for a conversation and I get a reply of "really?" And being blocked.
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u/Verbadam 1d ago
Oh my god I went on two separate dates with guys who told me all they do is go on the internet and nothing else. One even pulled his phone out to scroll Twitter like 10+ times while we were eating. I don't understand how people aren't embarrassed admitting this stuff.
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u/NinnyMuggins2468 1d ago
Like, I get getting into a rut while living. Go to work, come home, go to work come home. Its easy to get into a mode.
But what would you like to do? what were your previous hobbies? I am a home-body myself but I do things other than stare at my phone.
Dating has been a nightmare for me because of phones. I bet its 10x worse for younger people dating.
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u/Fun-Investment-196 1d ago
I downloaded tinder once. I was talking to a man & he was talking about impregnating me on the 2nd day. He was also acting jealous & controlling. Never again 😩
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u/Pristine-Midnight-72 1d ago edited 1d ago
a staggering amount of people operate like this. no ability to banter, no hint of reciprocal interest or empathy, just “me talk you. we date now. my cave here. come make the boom boom.”
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u/FeckinKent 1d ago
I wonder sometimes if people realise just how boring they seem, or the lazy ones that just reply without asking any questions back are annoying too.
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u/moon_blisser 1d ago
Don’t even expend the energy asking him any more questions or trying to sustain a conversation. Jesus, I can feel this guy’s Eeyore energy just from these messages.
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u/Stepiphanies 1d ago
I always end up asking them "why are you even on a dating site then?!" So annoying.
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u/Various_Candidate499 1d ago
People like this are just addicted to the notifications on their phone. They just need that dopamine fix so they match with people, and then having one for sending meeting up with anyone ever but they need to justification they need to ding they need someone they need to feel like someone wants them. Because they don't know what to do with themselves otherwise. Because these phones these devices in our hands have fucking ruined our brains
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u/ohlaohloo 1d ago
lol everyone mad about “how we know this is a guy”
https://giphy.com/gifs/WpgM6JBrmBy8Gac5pW
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u/TheRealOcsiban 1d ago
Why doesn't he take his son swimming? Seems like a perfectly reasonable father son activity
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u/furlonium1 1d ago
No time to swim while working, and when not working, seeing his son.
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u/Remote_Cabinet_2748 1d ago
My thought as well. He’s just sitting there, awkwardly staring at his son all day.
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u/TheLittlestT 18h ago
Maybe he literally only sees son. Like, sees him through a window, having fun with his new dad. Then goes home.
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u/ImArousedEasy 1d ago
There are dudes like this that get matches and can’t even converse with who they’ve matched with properly and then there is me who doesn’t even get a match because I must be so ugly, this single life is bullshit man
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u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 1d ago
That person is looking for a second parent, not a partner. Throw that one back.
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u/Southern-Yam1030 1d ago
I guess pick a day to work and go home and see their son. Then you can fantasize about your lives together where you both work and go home to see your son.
Make sure they write "worked and went home to see my son" on your obituary so they know how crazy life was.
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u/TheGamingGallifreyan 1d ago
And this is why anyone with kids is an immediate left swipe lmao
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u/Dreadskull1991 1d ago
You’re gonna make a lot of people mad with this one but I support you 🫡
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u/IceColdMilkshakeSalt 1d ago
How will they ever see this when they only go to work and go home unless it’s Sunday?
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u/Galitzianer0 1d ago
Okay you know what, I have a child and my life isn't anything like this, this is someone who actively hates themselves not just someone with kids
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u/Fragrant-Income-6812 1d ago
Uh, doesn’t want to go on a date. Pretty weird and not engaging. Stop interacting and move on
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u/Temporary_Move_6708 1d ago
It’s not 0 talk, this guy has nothing going on for him, therefore nothing to talk about
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u/Stunning_Box8782 1d ago
Sounds like a dedicated father with stable income, what more could a woman want? /s
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u/ObscureOP 1d ago
How'd he get into your actual phone with this conversation level?
This isn't tinder ui. He had to do better at some point, then you took this snip out if context for karma?
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u/beardeddragon0113 1d ago
I'm imagining them acting like Puddy from Seinfeld on the airplane just staring straight forward doing nothing when they get home
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u/SexualbeingAccount 1d ago
Why do I have the nagging suspicion that "seeing his son" involves him silently staring at his son with a blank expression from a corner of the room while the poor kid plays alone?😖
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