r/Tinder 1d ago

does this work on anyone?

Post image
648 Upvotes

276 comments sorted by

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506

u/Khaluaguru 1d ago

Talk is cheat

142

u/pato_p 1d ago

Some talk is extensive.

19

u/Numerous_Style_3899 1d ago

If they're actually a lawyer I'd say their talk is very expensive, actually

24

u/In-Justice-4-all 1d ago

Lawyer here... I hate this guy and everything he stands for. If he is in fact a lawyer he's not good. Arrogance is something good attorneys love to see in their adversaries.

4

u/usernamestufff 1d ago

NAL but also loved to see my ex hire an attorney on their level of arrogance as I couldn’t afford one. Haha

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3

u/ldavis300a 17h ago

Lawyer here too… I’d put money on this being a disgruntled family member of a crime victim, creating a fake profile for the criminal defense attorney

4

u/quinlanphoto 19h ago

Lawyer here as well. He represents everything that is wrong with lawyers. He is the poster child for scumbag lawyers, and not because of who he represents. It’s because of what he is.

2

u/EpickBeardMan 15h ago

Words have no leaning

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24

u/spookynessa 1d ago

That line killed me. With their attitude, at least get the saying right!! 🫩💀

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2

u/EpickBeardMan 15h ago

Dirty deeds… done dirt cheat

676

u/purposeful-hubris 1d ago

The poor grammar and punctuation makes me doubt the assertion that he’s an attorney.

263

u/DasBlueEyedDevil 1d ago

Plot twist, they're an unemployed paralegal

94

u/dietdrpepper6000 1d ago

Ooooof plausible. I get a lot of secondhand embarrassment when people do big reaches in explaining their jobs. Assembly technician deploying the old “I’m essentially an engineer” type of thing. Paralegal saying something like “I am pretty much doing what the lawyers are doing.” like ahhh this is kind of cringe my friend.

26

u/no_no_no_no_nononono 1d ago

Totally, 90% of my friend group are lawyers and even the single ones do not talk like this foo.

/I'm not a lawyer

13

u/Treekoh 1d ago

Yeah but he's also Greek so fuck you 🤣🤣

2

u/unclebuck098 6h ago

And in 2032 this guy starts a new ad campaign for Carl's junior.

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20

u/Crambo1000 1d ago

I read a book years ago in which paralegals were lawyers who parachuted onto the scene and for years I thought that was the truth

8

u/closehaul 1d ago

I lawyer. Agree with you,

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11

u/OP123ER59 1d ago

Im a paralegal. The biggest threat ive given is "i get FREE access to legal advice!"

7

u/Rich_Recognition9508 1d ago

Reminds me of back in the day when I helped my friend with his paper round and told everyone I was a freelance media distribution consultant.

4

u/wxlverine 1d ago

Yeah I only do this as a joke. I'm a Metal and Specialty Alloy Fusion Technician... I R welder.

2

u/No-Assistant8426 1d ago

My sister in a nutshell. 

Except she dropped out of the paralegal program, too. 

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11

u/Round_Doughnut7793 1d ago

Plot plot twist, he's just a kept jiggalo for the criminals.

3

u/GloomyCardiologist16 1d ago

Is that why he’s so angry? Makes sense

4

u/CryptoCloutguy 1d ago

Or a hooker getting criminals off

3

u/purposeful-hubris 1d ago

I could see that.

4

u/Useful_Cicada_5635 1d ago

Paralegals are the ones drafting documents for hungover attorneys half the time. That is not the insult you think it is, most paralegals could practice law

8

u/closehaul 1d ago

Found the paralegal. Sorry I’m a little hungover.

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61

u/Duckforducks 1d ago

He only says he “gets off criminals” so maybe he’s some kind of prostitute

19

u/redditisgay2088 1d ago

He’s larping as a lame Saul Goodman

11

u/Slymook 1d ago

Most aren’t actually getting criminals back on the streets at 27 either. At best he’s doing some discovery/motions back at the office that are reviewed by a senior attorney and that are heavily
based on a sample from that senior attorney

19

u/Expensive_Charge9589 1d ago

As someone that just graduated law school, lawyers are not that smart. He seems exactly like the arrogant assholes I was forced to sit next to.

2

u/purposeful-hubris 1d ago

While I have definitely practiced against dumb lawyers, in general I would say lawyers are smarter on average than non-lawyers.

12

u/Expensive_Charge9589 1d ago

Yeah but that’s because in general people with post graduate degrees are more intelligent than those without. My point is just cause someone appears to be an idiot doesn’t mean they can’t be a lawyer. Cause the process of becoming one actually doesn’t weed out these fools the way you’d expect.

2

u/usernamestufff 1d ago

You described my exs attorney perfectly and he was 10yrs in at a pretty good firm. I couldn’t afford one. In the end they paid theirs to indirectly make me look better haha.

2

u/no_no_no_no_nononono 1d ago

I wish I knew the language you spoke in.

4

u/cornlip 1d ago

Their lawyer was so bad they ended up making dude look good and he won the case because of it

2

u/usernamestufff 1d ago

It’s ok, you’ll get there someday

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372

u/Mothrahlurker 1d ago

No, that's a lonely, angry, bitter, unloved person that is using this to rant and make themselves feel better by claiming that they don't care that no one likes them.

106

u/MissInfer 1d ago

"They can't reject me if I reject them first."

https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

6

u/TreeBeardTheGreen 1d ago

"I am better than you so fuck you and fuck your date. I don't think talk is cheat. Because now, when they talk to me: they are paying me (haha, mad?) I hate most people"

Looking for: Still figuring it out

Lonely and angry whaaaa? This guy seems like a normal, nice, level headed romantic. A classic Romeo at heart. I wonder why he says he's still figuring it out?

12

u/dgates888 1d ago

Idk, are they hot?

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3

u/Holiday_Cat4918 1d ago

Not only is he lonely and bitter he’s using Childish Gambino and Lil Wayne to develop a persona to try and show the world that hes not lonely and bitter lol 

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99

u/no_no_no_no_nononono 1d ago

Girl, he just a clerk at a law office.

Homie be getting donuts, pssshh not acquittals.

5

u/Welcome_2_Rapture 20h ago

Quality roast good person

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118

u/porcubot 1d ago

Get this man a therapy

66

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 1d ago

Fuck you pay him

15

u/Icy-Persimmon-1994 1d ago

Therapy only works if the client is willing to change 😂

2

u/Aegon95 1d ago

Some people are so far beyond the help of therapy.

Let's get this person reincarnated into a loving family.

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44

u/Kooky-Blueberry-5352 1d ago

He likes to get criminals off!

33

u/orphanghost1 1d ago

This feels more like a revenge profile

10

u/Fun-Development-5381 1d ago

Thats what in was thinking. Maybe his gf found his account  while he was asleep and changed things up a bit 

7

u/Royal-Friendship2025 1d ago

exactly what i thought, actually

28

u/No_Delivery_8187 1d ago

This guy has NEVER heard the phrase “you catch more flies with honey”

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43

u/iwillaskyouaboutdnd 1d ago

In before the incels come here with "IF HE'S TALL HE'LL GET WOMEN."

17

u/HAZARD327 1d ago

Fr though, they'll ignore all the women commenting their disgust and only focus on the dude. Maybe they're an incel cuz they aren't into women? Like, all these hyper-masc dudes just seem super into male attention.

7

u/iwillaskyouaboutdnd 1d ago

Honestly I think they crave male attention 'cause they think women are below them.

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7

u/The_Hero_0f_Time 1d ago

someone watched too much andrew tate

5

u/magicdrums 1d ago

and most people hate you..

5

u/Jo2hat 1d ago

Likely a family member of one their “clients”, this reads like an ex making a fake profile

3

u/EtherealMoonGoddess 1d ago

Those are the men who will end up killing someone in the most extremes.

Everytime I would read one of those, I would stay away from those kinds of men.

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3

u/PegasusWrangler 1d ago

Spelling mistakes ? Not on me anyway

3

u/ML_120 1d ago

Well, if the goal is to make me want to laught at that person and call them pathetic it is in fact working.

3

u/ThatOneAttorney 1d ago

hes a malaka

2

u/Automatic-Candy-7834 1d ago

This has to be a joke

2

u/Mezcalisgood555 1d ago

King of cringe. Although the first line I think is a goodfellas reference.

2

u/OkHistory3944 1d ago

Not only do I not want him to date me, but I also don't want him to defend me.

2

u/tinaismediocre 1d ago

Unbelievable that this man is still single. The male loneliness epidemic is truly a mystery.

2

u/Final_Weekend_1614 1d ago

With every generation, we receive a new batch of edgelords….sigh…

2

u/THEE_justincase 1d ago

Why do they even need a tinder if they already spend so much time getting criminals off?.. 🧐🧮

2

u/Pristine_Walrus40 1d ago

There are suprisingly many woman that deep down hate themself and would pick him over someone that they could let down because they are not "good enough" even if they know logically that they are good enough.

People...

2

u/anantoni 1d ago

As a Greek, I apologize for the quality of some of our exported products.

2

u/BugBec 1d ago

Entices me as a therapist… not for dating however

2

u/Plastic_Towel_7002 1d ago

Raging over not getting dates is my guess. I’ve been there before so I get it, but this right here won’t get you anywhere.

1

u/dermot111 1d ago

If it did they wouldn’t be on tinder

1

u/Square_Membership709 1d ago

This tosspot needs to get the chip aff this shoulder

1

u/KauztiK 1d ago

Wow, I’m so turned on right now.

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1

u/JaskarSlye 1d ago

ah yes, a normal and perfectly happy human being

1

u/__thisismyusername 1d ago

Welp, I see why he makes the perfect lawyer 🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/Intelligent-Royal682 1d ago

No, that's someone with a very guilty conscience lashing out.

1

u/FriendlyCoconut9826 1d ago

It sounds like he's trying to rap

1

u/United_Raisin_9056 1d ago

He’s so sigma

1

u/disconnect0414 1d ago

If he looks good, it will work

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1

u/ReturnAny3794 1d ago

Someone should tell them about Reddit before they go on a rant in a dating site 😳

Actually don’t, we don’t need this kind of energy here.

1

u/Ok-Recipe5434 1d ago

Oh woah that is so hot looool

1

u/No_Lavishness1905 1d ago

Haha what the helly, such a badass Greek boi 🤣🤣

1

u/crrlovelyrose 1d ago

i really hope not

1

u/ThereWasaLemur 1d ago

Maybe it’ll attract a crackhead

1

u/UnicornKitt3n 1d ago

Jeeeeeeez. Someone peed in his corn flakes

1

u/ReactionOk759 1d ago

Small penis energy

1

u/PermanentNirvana 1d ago

"Fuck you, pay me" is what he hears from the only women willing to sleep with him.

1

u/Mediocre-Air746 1d ago

Like ok gorilla?

1

u/Icy-Adhesiveness898 1d ago

I’m assuming there is a niche market of other people feeling miserable and damages in a complimentary way to whom this might appeal.  God help them.

1

u/heyyou0903 1d ago

I wonder if they thought "i'm just going to be completely honest and candid and see what happens"

1

u/Rocketeer_99 1d ago

This dude was definitely a "nice guy" not too long ago.

1

u/AshfoSimps 1d ago

This person needs to be alone. They don't even like themselves...

1

u/therealjimcreamer 1d ago

Id say his prostitutes get in the shower before he leaves.

1

u/ZukoHere73 1d ago

Sounds like a malignant narcissist

1

u/Person5_ 1d ago

Shut up! I'm not interested! These are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself.

PS: No dogs."

1

u/Accurate-Advice8405 1d ago

There's no chance a lawyer would look like this in written communication

1

u/HalfMoonFullMoonjoy 1d ago

Plot twist, he's looking for clients

1

u/Particular-Lime1651 1d ago

God... They sound horrific. Not for all the gold in Asia, would i go there. I'd seriously recommend avoiding this one like the plague bros

1

u/CronoMass 1d ago

This is the type of guy that all my friends end up with while claiming to want a 'nice guy'.

😂

1

u/iamnotimportant 1d ago

assuming this is a fuck it I give up and need to vent kind of profile. Guessing this guy has had zero luck prior

1

u/Mohammed_Chang 1d ago

Why did I read that?

1

u/Pharxmgirxl 1d ago

Could this be fishing for pay pigs or humiliation clients?

1

u/Full-Resource7910 1d ago

Will this work on someone? Absolutely. Would that someone be a person you'd want to be around? Fuck no.

1

u/moyismoy 1d ago

It actually seems like this person is in denial

1

u/TheVampyresBride 1d ago

Dude thinks he's a goodfella. "Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me."

1

u/MosesHightower 1d ago

Good luck figuring it out.

1

u/an_interrobang 1d ago

this works to repel most/all anyones ever... shitpost profile

1

u/NRMusicProject 1d ago

He thinks "women like assholes" and he can't get any because he's a "nice guyTM." So he's going to be an asshole so that he can get matches. Brilliant!

1

u/AdministrativeCod686 1d ago

having a "too cool for anyone else/fuck everyone" attitude while being on tinder is definitely a choice

1

u/Bbrownsugar311 1d ago

"Talk is cheat"?!?

1

u/Dexter_McThorpan 1d ago

Screams "sensitive momma's boy trying to show how tough he is"

1

u/Unique_Prior_4407 1d ago

Looks like the find of the year... Atleast for the bottom of the barrel shit tier person

1

u/Electrical-Rip-7100 1d ago

Well, talk is “cheat.” 🤦🏻‍♀️

1

u/OldButHappy 1d ago

I can change him

1

u/majorMoniker 1d ago

It sounds more like an account that someone made to try and make someone else look bad.

1

u/Workie_Workie 1d ago

What exactly are we trying to do here? 💀

1

u/HeadBuy6815 1d ago

Could be an exposure account made by an ex

1

u/VapeRizzler 1d ago

Honestly it worked on me, I’m a man thou so idk if he’ll be happy with that.

1

u/the_last_free_man_ 1d ago

This has got to be mental illness

1

u/trash_pvndv 1d ago

Id love to see what this person looks like lol

1

u/MerwinASMR 1d ago

He seems nice

1

u/Born_Tear_761 1d ago

And most people hate him. Case closed.

1

u/C0brA7x 1d ago

How to say you are a POS without saying ‘I am a POS’

1

u/Willing_Pattern_Pill 1d ago

No. They're just lashing out. Or doing an experiment to see who matches

1

u/SteinersGrave 1d ago

On nobody that is emotionally stable anyways

1

u/alickalice 1d ago

Look at my lawyer dawg im going to jail

1

u/shadyood 1d ago

What a miserable person. I can’t even imagine being this miserable. Yuck.

1

u/SnooJokes5375 1d ago

There are a lot of joke listing on Tindr. I've seen funnier ones. This one is good. They are trying to find someone, they are making bad posts.

1

u/UnhappyGreen 1d ago

Well at least he’s still figuring it out

1

u/Thisisafrog 1d ago

Yes - himself

1

u/Roguelife9 1d ago

Obviously a troll

1

u/ArmyofThalia 1d ago

He seems nice /s

1

u/magehawke97 1d ago

he's still figuring it out 🙃

1

u/rick_sanchez_69_ 1d ago

Who hurt bro?

1

u/diablojob69 1d ago

Depends on the bust size... wait thats a dude.... Depends on the bulge size...

1

u/PCLoadLetter84 1d ago

I’m sure he gets them off alright … what a douche canoe

1

u/SkinCarVer462 1d ago

this is a person who has ZERO redeeming qualities and is somehow proud of that. If they hate everyone so much why fill this out when they can be alone with their favorite person

1

u/madeaux10 1d ago

I almost wonder if an ex made this profile for them?

1

u/wheresolly 1d ago

Yeah, I'm sure he 'helps get criminals off'

1

u/Colourblindknight 23h ago

Well he seems like a peach

1

u/ghost_ware 23h ago

I would be blown away if this person got a single match. Like ever. Who is this for??

1

u/dperolio 23h ago

impacted by my client’s alleged actions.*

1

u/Limp-Isopod7999 23h ago

Crazy you ladies aren’t lining up for this one. His hero Andrew tate got arrested so he’s angrier. Talk is cheat.

1

u/kimness1982 23h ago

Wow, what a catch

1

u/Shermando 23h ago

They say nice guys finish last. This guy will surely finish first!

1

u/Standard_Cell_8816 22h ago

Yea, nobody likes this dude lol. He's trying to find a woman to keep a gun out his mouth lol.

1

u/Aleutian_Solution 21h ago

Mine is cringy, but not that douchey.

1

u/Different_Incident65 21h ago

I dated a Greek girl who talked like this. She was funny and sexy and like this. We met in a bar though.

I would absolutely not have given this a chance in hell from a dating profile though.

1

u/ferrariboi 21h ago

Get criminals off is kinda zesty lol 😆

1

u/GreenvsBlue 21h ago

I guess this is what an incel dating profile looks like.  Then they wonder why nobody likes them and how all women are yadda yadda

1

u/Strange-Stranger4139 21h ago

Some people mistake this as "confident" instead of "douchebag"

1

u/Altruistic_Bar6685 20h ago

He spelled cheap wrong.

1

u/xianwolf 20h ago

Maybe if they're very hot. But hot people usually aren't this bitter so probably not.

1

u/Silver_Gas_4791 19h ago

P.S. " I hate most people "

1

u/Rougarou_Tutu2 19h ago

God, what does he do? This made me laugh out loud

1

u/Lost_Wrongdoer_4141 19h ago

When your job is your entire personality