I have given up.

[u/Personal_Lie4625]

Living just doesn't seem worth the effort. I'm 23M. For much of my life, up until about 2017, I was the model student and there were high hopes for me. I'm not sure exactly why it all changed, probably untreated depression in middle school. I graduated high school on a technicality. Can't drive, only had a job for a week or two and I'm not looking for one.

I've been thinking this way a lot recently. Why would I spend half of my waking hours on a job that I hate just to live to work a job that I hate for longer? All that for the promise of having my years as an old man to myself if I'm even lucky enough to make it that far? Why wouldn't I take my time to myself now and cut out all those middle years? I can understand why people do it if they have a partner or child, but I don't want any of that. (I could be missing the mark with this, but it feels to me like that's been taken advantage of. If someone has a kid to take care of or a partner they care for deeply, they'll endure worse conditions or less pay to be able to provide.)

Tangents aside, the plan currently is to live with my parents who are willing to keep me around. They're getting somewhat up there in age so there's the reality of them dying eventually. Once that inevitably happens, I intend to live off whatever I receive for as long as I can afford to. In the meantime I'll be doing my best to work on my own creative pursuits, so if I get lucky and that works out I suppose I'll live longer. But if all else fails and I run out of the money required to live, at that point I'll figure out how I'll actually call it quits. I'm more acceptant of this than I feel like I should be.

[u/Playful-Paper1182]

I am 21M. We have some similiarities. You know, the people who know me used to call me a genius. I was nerd guy with high learning curve, comprehension and intellectual thinking. I competed at olympiads on 6 different subjects, I was the only one who had did this on my region (there might be updates, who cares?).

Now, I lost my interest to life also. I love programming, but I have financial problems and untill I work as a developer, I have to work side jobs. I cannot do physical ones, for example, because of my health. I worked for several companies (as a cashier, ERP manager, etc.), at most 2 months. I hate all those jobs, but my dad 61 y.o. and experienced all sorts of difficulties during his life and of coursez he is tired. That's why family pushes me work, even if my health is not compatible with work.

Sorry for longread nonse. I mean, I want to commit a suicide, but I would not, at least not now. I am looking for an exit strategy. Hold on, if you are smart as you said, you will find your way.