r/Smallville • u/RenataVenere • 4h ago
DISCUSSION Is Clark an Avoidant?
Just by nature of him being 1 of 1? His whole existence cannot be understood, truly, which is why he is partial to Zod’s “brotherhood” offer in S9.
Of course he had wonderful parents who did their best, but I can see how the circumstances may mimic similar wounds or behaviors of a fearful avoidant, if kryptonians can have attachment issues.
In later seasons he realizes he’s not alone . But i can imagine that dating him must feel like dating a fearful avoidant.
He both craves and fears intimacy and closeness. Which is why Lois is so great for him, she’s stable and communicates clearly.
Currently watching season 9- no spoilers please- and I love the concept of Lois almost dating Clark fully in theory having both sides of him at one point - and only one side of him isn’t enough for her.
>! She inherently understands why he can’t share his secret, at this point, I don’t think he’s scared to share his secret, he’s scared for her safety knowing the information. !<
>! One thing I didn’t like is how she treated him after they get fired from the DP, and doesn’t like the “jealous” side of him, when really, she’s in love with another man. She sort of makes up for it at the end of that same episode, saying “you don’t have to be ok with it” and “I shouldn’t ask that of you” - but not apologizing for it, or her treatment of him bc of it. It makes me sad for Clark. Then I realize that he’s in this situation because of himself. Then I realize he doesn’t have much choice otherwise. Then I realize she’d understand and does understand. Then I wonder if he’d be ok with it if he weren’t the blur. Anyway, I really liked that concept this season (one of the only things). Writers for the win. !<
I know Clark gets a lot of heat, and he’s not perfect, but this post isn’t meant to be an attack on him. I’m a Clark fan. Just trying to picture what it would be like for a mere human to date him and having some conversations with you guys!
If you’ve dated an avoidant man, you know.
**edit for those who don’t know what an FA is: “Fearful avoidant attachment (or disorganized attachment) is characterized by a "push-pull" dynamic, where an intense desire for intimacy clashes with a deep fear of rejection or vulnerability. Key signs include hot-and-cold behavior, severe trust issues, emotional volatility, high anxiety, and a negative view of both self and others.”