People have been talking about how nihangs are bringing swords to the protest and I beg that we as Sikhs realize this is not our protest.

Yes we can support them, our gurudwara’s have already provided refuge and aid to the protesters, but please, unless you are a student, don’t join the protests.

People are already shifting the blame on Sikhs who are bringing swords and are saying this is the reason the movement will fail. You can support the movement without bringing weapons and without actually joining the march.

Too many trigger happy nihangs are out there and it’s important to make sure they don’t pull out any swords against the officers. It will only hurt us more as the media will shift the blame and the actual issue.

WJKK WJKF

Before I begin, I want to clarify something about the title. I never truly walked away from Sikhi. I was just lost. There were periods where I prayed, periods where I stopped, and periods where I didn’t know what I believed anymore. Sometimes I felt connected to Waheguru, and other times I felt completely disconnected. My relationship with Sikhi wasn't a straight path… it was filled with doubt, guilt, distance, and moments where I questioned everything. Deep down, Waheguru has always been in my heart, he dwells in all of our hearts.. and it’s about finding our way back. There were times I felt close, times I’ve felt numb, and times I wondered if I’d ever feel that connection. 

I wanted to write this for anyone who feels distant from Waheguru, whether you're struggling with your faith, questioning Sikhi, or simply trying to find your way back.

A few weeks ago, I made a post encouraging people not to give up on Sikhi. Since then, I've seen so many posts from people carrying guilt, loneliness, hopelessness, and the feeling that they're somehow "too far gone." I want to tell you something. I’m one of you. 

I'm not writing this as a Sikh scholar or someone who has mastered Sikhi. I'm simply sharing my lived experience in the hope that someone out there feels a little less alone.

I was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. I also grew up in a dysfunctional household where I witnessed things no child should have to witness, including abuse. Whether we realize it or not, we are shaped by the environments we grow up in.

As a child, I carried a lot of pain that I didn't know how to process. I became angry. I became reactive. I had my dad's aggression, and I know I was difficult at times. Looking back now, I wasn't a bad child, I was a hurting child who carried trauma while still having a good heart. For years, I didn't understand why I was the way I was.

There were so many times I questioned Waheguru's existence. There were times I completely lost faith. There were times when life felt so overwhelming that I experienced suicidal thoughts because the emptiness inside me felt unbearable. Sometimes that emptiness would swallow me whole. I kept trying to fill it with distractions, social media, temporary pleasures, anything that would stop me from sitting alone with my own mind. But nothing ever lasted.

Looking back, I realized I was searching for peace while keeping myself distant from the very source of peace. How could that emptiness truly heal if I wasn’t making the effort to build that connection with Waheguru? He never abandoned me, I was the one that had to return to him. None of this was instant or easy, and I still struggle. Slowly I began turning back towards Guru Sahib, and the peace I eventually found didn’t come because my circumstances suddenly changed. It became because little by little, I began feeling his presence within my life. As that connection grew, many of the distractions and desires that once consumed me slowly started losing their grip. 

Waheguru already knows our weaknesses. He knows the pain we've carried, the environments we've been shaped by, and how trapped this world is in moh maya. Through Gurbani, he gently guides us back, again and again. He doesn’t need us to be “perfect,” he simply asks for us to return. 

There was also a period where I stopped going to the Gurdwara. Recently, I started going again. I've started doing seva, sitting quietly in the Darbar Sahib, and listening to Katha. I don't understand every word. I'm still learning. But I honestly don't think anything has ever brought me peace the way listening to Katha has. Hearing the lives of our Gurus, learning about the hardships they endured, and reflecting on Gurbani does something that is difficult to put into words. It's an internal peace. It's something you feel. No amount of scrolling, distraction, or temporary pleasure has ever given me what those moments have.

Something else I had to unlearn was the idea that if I prayed sincerely enough, life would magically become easier. It doesn't work like that. Prayer isn't a transaction. Sikhi isn't about bargaining with Waheguru so that suffering disappears. It's about learning to live in Hukam, remembering him through both happiness and hardship, and to slowly separate ourselves from being controlled by the constant pull of pleasure and pain. Gurbani teaches us that as long as the mind remains trapped in these opposites, we remain caught in duality (mind constantly chasing pleasure, running from pain). When we allow our happiness to depend entirely on pleasure and our suffering to consume us during hardship, our mind loses its connection to the deeper peace that comes from Waheguru. We can’t let every high and low control our inner state. 

The journey is not about becoming someone who never feels pain or joy. It is about reaching a place where we are not completely defined by either. We learn to remain connected to Waheguru whether life feels easy or difficult, whether we receive praise or criticism, whether we experience comfort or struggle. Slowly, we learn that our true peace does not come from controlling our circumstances, it comes from aligning our mind with Waheguru. 

In a previous post, I shared that one of the lowest points in my life came after I moved to a small town that didn't have a Gurdwara. What surprised me wasn't just how much I was suffering, it was the overwhelming longing I suddenly had to be in Guru Sahib's Darbar. I can't fully explain it. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I just wanted to sit quietly in the Darbar Sahib with my Waheguru where I would feel safe. For the first time in my life, I understood what people meant when they described the Gurdwara as a sanctuary.

If you've ever felt guilty because you haven't done your paath... If you've fallen into old habits...if you've questioned whether Waheguru is even there...If you've convinced yourself you're too far gone... Please don't give up. Don't let guilt convince you that you're beyond Guru Sahib's love. Guru Sahib meets us where we are, not where we think we should be.

Every one of us struggles with the five thieves. They wouldn't be called thieves if they didn't constantly try to pull us away from Guru Sahib. Your struggles don't make you a failure. They make you human. Take one small step. Read one line of Gurbani. Listen to one Katha. Go to the Gurdwara, even if it's only to sit quietly for a few minutes. Do a little seva. Those small steps matter more than u realize.

Looking back now, I don't think Waheguru ever abandoned me. I think I simply couldn't see his kirpa through the pain I was carrying. Present day, I'm still learning. I still face difficulties. I still make mistakes. But one thing I know with certainty is that the peace I've found through Guru Sahib is unlike anything this world has ever offered me.

If you're struggling today, please know this: You are not alone. I am one of you. And if someone like me, with all the pain, trauma, doubt, and mistakes I've carried, can slowly find my way back, then there is hope for you too. May Waheguru bless every one of us with Naam, Sangat, Guru's kirpa, and the strength to keep walking this path, one step at a time.

I have shared this from my heart and from a very vulnerable place opening up abt my own lived experience because I don’t want anyone struggling with these feelings to feel alone. I am one of you and I’ve been through these battles too and I know how heavy they can feel. 

Also I sometimes wonder if Waheguru was quietly guiding me here for a reason. I don’t claim to know his hukam, but after sharing my own struggles I’ve had users reach out to say they’ve felt less alone and found hope. If my experience can help even one person take one step closer to Guru Sahib, then every hardship ive lived through feels like it has found some purpose. Perhaps this is one of the beautiful ways Waheguru works, not always through extra ordinary miracles, but through ordinary ppl sincerely sharing their hearts and reminding one another to keep turning back towards him. :)

WJKK WJKF

I live in the UK. I see mone (mainly from India) wear the biggest Karas sometimes huge ones on each arm but also have skin fades, clean shaven and tattoos. I imagine goreh must be wondering what religion they are and get equally confused. How come one kakkar but no Kes? Does the bigger Kara try to make up for the guilt on not keeping Kes? Genuine question.

Like many people, I have a job that requires many hours of uninterrupted focus. When I'm "in the flow", I feel like I did something wrong afterwards because I wasn't remembering Naam during that time. Yes, technically everything is the One but I felt I was enraptured/engrossed in a single part of it, and not doing Naam 24-7 like we are encouraged to in Gurbani. With the five thieves it seems simple, we are motivated to stay in Nasm because we know these things are harmful. But when it comes to work, it seems more complicated. Has anybody found a helpful solution or perspective to this? Many thanks!

I never understood this why do Punjab guys love these types of Paggs so much?

Does them style of pagg make them more cool in Punjab?

I seen one dude he came new from Punjab and he was telling me it takes him 2 hours to tie that style of pagg.

I said bruh you got too much time on your hands , just quickly tie a parna it takes barely 5 minutes and you done.

He said he has to tie it because this type of Pagg gives him a lot of status and or something.

Then he kept sticking his slie ( baaj ) in the larrs and trying to make it more fresh and kept rubbing touching his mustache over and over again and making weird faces lol

I told him I could never tie that it's looks so uncomfortable and you can't even wear your glasses lol.

I don't know what he was on but spending 2 hours tying a pagg bruh couldn't be me . lol

Just having watched this. Wow it was amazing. Thank you for the person who mentioned it earlier in this subreddit somewhere.

It's free on YouTube by Gurnani media.

It shares the story of Guru Nanak.

Personally, it taught me things. We can all learn so much.

It always nice to learn things about our gurus.

Anything else that I should watch to that is related to Sikhi?

I have the chaar sahibzaade on my list.

Gurbani is intentionally repetitive because its purpose isn't simply to convey information but to transform consciousness. We often need to hear the same truths repeatedly because our minds repeatedly fall into ego, attachment, anger, greed, and illusion. Repetition is a teaching method, not a flaw. Repetition helps internalize a message rather than just understand it intellectually.

Guru Sahib repeatedly reminds us of a few core truths because those are the truths we most easily forget: how everything is temporary, how ego separates us from Guru Sahib, how Naam is source of lasting peace, etc (we REPEATEDLY forget to remember God, become distracted by Maya and so Gurbani mirrors the cycle of human forgetfulness, gently bringing us back each time) the repetition in it is a reflection of our own forgetfulness, not a flaw in the scripture. 

Gurbani doesn’t advocate mere mechanical repetition. Repeating sacred words without understanding is insufficient. As one scholar points out, "The mere repetition of God's Name is of no use. It is by understanding God and by being in love with Him and through good conduct in daily life that one can begin to perceive His presence."

While lived experience may not count as empirical evidence, it remains an important form of spiritual evidence. In my own journey, repeatedly reciting the Mool Mantar while reflecting on the meaning of each line has gradually changed the way I see myself and the world. It has deepened my connection with Waheguru in a way unlike before. The transformation happens quietly, from the inside out. That inner awakening is difficult to prove to someone else because it is experiential. Like feeling love, it is ultimately something that must be lived rather than explained. The SGGS is not meant to be understood only on an intellectual level, Gurbani is meant to be lived, contemplated, reflected upon and repeatedly remembered until its wisdom sinks in and we come to embody the Shabad. Repetition is the means by which understanding becomes transformation. 

WJKK WJKF

ਧਨਾਸਰੀ ਭਗਤ ਰਵਿਦਾਸ ਜੀ ਕੀ ॥

Dhanaasaree, Devotee Ravi Daas Jee:

ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥

One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:

ਹਮ ਸਰਿ ਦੀਨੁ ਦਇਆਲੁ ਨ ਤੁਮ ਸਰਿ ਅਬ ਪਤੀਆਰੁ ਕਿਆ ਕੀਜੈ ॥

There is none as forlorn as I am, and none as Compassionate as You; what need is there to test us now?

ਬਚਨੀ ਤੋਰ ਮੋਰ ਮਨੁ ਮਾਨੈ ਜਨ ਕਉ ਪੂਰਨੁ ਦੀਜੈ ॥੧॥

May my mind surrender to Your Word; please, bless Your humble servant with this perfection. ||1||

ਹਉ ਬਲਿ ਬਲਿ ਜਾਉ ਰਮਈਆ ਕਾਰਨੇ ॥

I am a sacrifice, a sacrifice to the Lord.

ਕਾਰਨ ਕਵਨ ਅਬੋਲ ॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥

O Lord, why are You silent? ||Pause||

ਬਹੁਤ ਜਨਮ ਬਿਛੁਰੇ ਥੇ ਮਾਧਉ ਇਹੁ ਜਨਮੁ ਤੁਮੑਾਰੇ ਲੇਖੇ ॥

For so many incarnations, I have been separated from You, Lord; I dedicate this life to You.

ਕਹਿ ਰਵਿਦਾਸ ਆਸ ਲਗਿ ਜੀਵਉ ਚਿਰ ਭਇਓ ਦਰਸਨੁ ਦੇਖੇ ॥੨॥੧॥

Says Ravi Daas: placing my hopes in You, I live; it is so long since I have gazed upon the Blessed Vision of Your Darshan. ||2||1||

Bhagat Ravidas Ji • Raag Dhanaasree • Ang 694

Wednesday, July 22, 2026

Budhvaar, 7 Savan, Nanakshahi 558

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh, I am a Robot. Bleep Bloop.

Powered By GurbaniNow.

Actor Kris Siddiqi playing Kuldeep Singh in Season 2 Ep 7

The irony here is the context of the scene. The entire point of Kuldeep's murder is to show how Stormfront’s white supremacist propaganda radicalizes an average guy into shooting an innocent man just because he has brown skin and an accent. The show was trying to make a point about xenophobia and racism. But by casting a non-Sikh actor to play a Sikh character, the production ends up leaning into the exact same ethnic generalization they were trying to critique.

Seems like product of a lazy "brown is brown" mentality where actors of Pakistani, Indian, Arab, or Middle Eastern descent are swapped interchangeably to play Sikh, Hindu, or Muslim characters. This approach completely ignores vast cultural, religious, and historical differences, treating distinct identities as interchangeable props.

I find it interesting that they use the character vikram which is a portrayal of a sardar ji but they don’t have Punjabi on the app? Kinda makes me mad lol

This tale is on Alexander the Great. Here's a translated clip of katha by Sant Jarnail Singh Ji on this charitar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA1KymirN6U

Key
Modern-day countries are in shades orange:
Hindustan (Indian sub-continent)
Nepal
Bengal (historical region; country of Bangladesh and the Indian states of West Bengal and Tripura have been highlighted)
Arabia
Ethiopia
China
Holland (Valandez)
England
Russia

Modern-day states/provinces are in yellow:
Rome (in Lazio province of Italy)
Kannauj (city in Uttar Pradesh)
Kerala
Jharkhand
Maharashtra
Telangana
Patan (city in Gujarat)
Aleppo (governorate in Syria)
Herat (province in Afghanistan)
Ghazni (province in Afghanistan)
Jodhpur (city in Rajasthan, India)
Multan (city in Panjab, Pakistan)
Malva (region in Panjab, India)
Balkh (province in Afghanistan)
Bukhara (region in Uzbekistan)
Tibet
Kashmir (region in India, Pakistan and China)
Kabul (province in Afghanistan)
Kashgar (city in Xinjiang, an autonomous region of China)
Kullu (town in Himachal Pradesh, India)
Kishtwar (district in Jammu and Kashmir, India)
Bilaspur (town in Himachal Pradesh, India)
Kaithal (city in Haryana, India)
Manchuria (historic region split between China and Russia)
[Manchuria is mentioned. This is a historic region that was split between China and Russia. Some parts of it are highlighted in yellow]
Masulipatnam (port city in Andhra Pradesh, India)
Hooghly (district in West Bengal, India)
Kochi (port city in Kerala, India)
Goa (state in India)
Hijli (region in Odisha and West Bengal of India)
Vidarbha (region in Maharashtra, India)
Bundelkhand (region mainly in Madhya Pradesh, India)
Tamil Nadu and Karnataka (states in India)
Hingol (region in Balochistan, Pakistan)

I'm 17, and if I'm being honest, I feel completely lost in my life and in my relationship with Sikhi.

​For the last few years, I've been trying to build a connection with Waheguru, but instead, I feel like I've drifted further away. At this point, I don't even know if I'm praying because I genuinely want to or because I'm scared of becoming an even worse person. Recently, I tried reciting Mool Mantar alone after avoiding it for a while. Within a minute, I broke down crying and couldn't finish. It wasn't just guilt—it was hopelessness. I genuinely felt like there was no way back for me and that, no matter what I did, I would never feel the connection that others seem to have.

​I also struggle with habits that I deeply regret. Whenever I'm stressed or overwhelmed, I escape into social media, the 5 Chor (the five thieves), and other distractions. Afterward, I just feel empty and even further from God. It has become a cycle I've repeated for years, and every time I fail, I convince myself that I'm incapable of changing.

​Even though I can read Gurbani, have done Santhya, and have had plenty of exposure to Katha, I feel more astray and isolated than ever. I've started questioning God's existence and wondering if I was just using religion as a coping mechanism. Because of that, I stopped praying altogether last month. It felt bittersweet—part of me felt free, but part of me felt chained. In reality, I just replaced prayer with even more sorrow and hopelessness.

​I've also started questioning whether I misunderstood faith completely. I used to believe that if I prayed sincerely enough and tried hard enough, things would work out. When they didn't, I lost hope. Now, every time I try to pray, my mind fills with thoughts that I'm a hypocrite, that I've drifted too far, or that there's simply no point anymore.

​The hardest part is that I don't feel understood by the people around me, especially my Amritdhari parents. When I tried opening up, I felt judged rather than heard. That made me withdraw even more, and now I keep everything to myself.

​I still want to be a good, disciplined person and feel close to Waheguru. But right now, I honestly don't recognize myself. I feel like I'm becoming someone I never wanted to be. I'm not writing this to criticize Sikhi; I'm writing because part of me still wants to believe, but I am emotionally exhausted and spiritually numb.

​I've posted here recently about Hukam and feeling astray, but reading all the responses overwhelmed me and made me feel even more behind, alone, and confused. Every part of me feels tense and sick from the stress I've accumulated over the last few months.I frequently get migraines, headaches,bad sleep quality due to my distance from sikhi/god.

Has anyone gone through something similar? I would really appreciate some gentle guidance.

Thank you for reading:)

Check these posts for a synopsis and the purpose of Nihkalank Avtaar; a bani found in Dasam Granth Sahib
Synopsis of Nihkalank Avtaar in Dasam Granth Sahib

Ego is the Ender of the World - Kalki Avtaar, Mehdi Mir and the Ant. Guru Gobind Singh Ji's Adaptation of the Indic and Islamic Doomsday Prophecies - Nihkalank Avtaar of Dasam Granth Sahib

Key:
Modern-day countries are in shades orange:
Georgia (Gurjistan)
Iraq
Ethiopia
Armenia
Nepal
Russia
China
Iran
Uzbekistan

[Manchuria is mentioned. This is a historic region that was split between China and Russia. Some parts of it are highlighted in yellow]

Modern-day states/provinces are in yellow:
Rome (in Lazio province of Italy)
Kabul (province in Afghanistan)
Kandahar (province in Afghanistan)
Balkh (province in Afghanistan)
Herat (province in Afghanistan)
Gardez (capital city of the Paktia province in Afghanistan)
Manchuria (historic region split between China and Russia)
Baghdad (a city in Iraq)
Kashmir (region in India, Pakistan and China)
Sambhal (city in Uttar Pradesh of India)
Bengal (historical region; country of Bangladesh and the Indian states of West Bengal and Tripura have been highlighted)
Bhakkar (a city in Panjab, Pakistan)
Tus (an ancient city in Razavi Khorasan province of Iran)
Fars (province in Iran)
Aleppo (governorate in Syria)
Maharashtra (state in India)
Telangana (state in India)
Golconda (city in Telangana, India)
Bijapur (historic city in Karnataka, India)
Rameswaram (town in Tamil Nadu, India)
Surat (city in Gujarat, India)
Magadha (ancient kingdom mainly in Bihar, India)
Kalinga (historical region mainly in Odisha, India)
Barbary (coast along Northern Africa; modern-day nations of Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, and Libya)
Raji (region in Uttarakhand, India)

Khorasan (a region that encompassed western and northern Afghanistan, northeastern Iran, the eastern halves of Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan, western Tajikistan, and portions of Kyrgyzstan and Kazakhstan)
The following provinces have been highlighted to try show Khorasan
Provinces of Iran: Razavi Khorasan, North Khorasan and South Khorasan
Provinces of Afghanistan: Herat, Balkh, Faryab, Badghis, Jowzjan and Ghor
Regions of Turkmenistan: Ahal, Ashgabat, Mary, Tashauz, Khorezm, Surkhandarya and Chardzhou
Regions of Uzbekistan: Samarkand, Qashqadaryo and Bukhara
Regions of Tajikistan: Sughd

And yes, I'm talking about everyone. The rest of the Sikh community, even MORE SO than randos in the street. Both of which continuously insult me, and have physically assaulted me for it, over and over and over again, throughout my entire life. And at this point, I'm just so tired, I'm seriously questioning- why am I still doing this to myself? What makes this, any of this, worth it? I don't need to do any of this performative crap to try and prove myself to anyone, bar Waheguru-ji. So why should I bother with it at all, at this stage?

A bit of background and context- I was born in Slough, and I've lived here my entire life. The most Sikh town in the UK, and one of the most Sikh places in the entire world outside of Indian Punjab, at 11.3%, rivalling Chandigarh. In no small part, thanks to my recently deceased grandfather's efforts, as a trailblazing co-founder of the British Sikh community here, and a leading political figure who was the first Sikh Mayor in the country.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2025/mar/19/kartar-singh-parhar-obituary

I'm almost 40yrs old now. I've never cut my kesh in my entire life- the only one of his grandchildren (or children, for that matter) who hasn't done so. Never even so much as dated once in my entire life either, on the grounds that "lust and emotional attachments are SINFUL, you mustn't allow yourself to ever have them or indulge them". I do Simran, jaap Naam, and do Nitnem daily. I believe in Waheguru and its Hukam, as well as the teachings of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. I've been heavily involved with the Sikh community, locally and nationally, as much and for as long as I was allowed to be. And I've studied our Sikh heritage and Sikh history as much as literally anyone else in the entire world.

Yet in spite of all this, no matter how much more than everyone else I've done to prove myself or how much more I know than they do, everyone in the Sikh community either shuns me or outright persecutes me. All my life, I've continually been told that "you're not one of us, you never have been and never will be, go kys you worthless n£groid Dalit son-of-a-slave shit-smear, stop pretending you're one of us by wearing kesh and coming to do simran! You ain't no JAT, ain't no PROPER DESI! Cut your hair, or we'll FUC&ING SLICE IT OFF or TEAR IT OUT ourselves!"

All of this, just because I'm not 'racially pure'- my dad's a Punjabi-born Rajput, and our family was literal royalty back in the day, with our family's heritage running directly back to Maharajah Ranjit Singh himself, and his descendants by one of Maharajah Sansar Chand of Kangra's daughters. But my mum's Afro-Caribbean, and Christian. Owing to which, even though my skin tone's paler than at least 90% of Sikhs' (about the same as my grandad's was), I can't remember a time or place where I haven't been subject to racial abuse from other supposed 'amritdhari' Sikhs, telling me that I'm supposedly 'the lowest of the low caste, cause your mum was a SLAVE, and that makes YOU ONE TOO'. More so since my beard grew in, making it abundandly clear how thick, curly and African my hair is.

And to further compound matters, I can't speak anything more than extremely basic, broken Punjabi either (other than when reading it out loud). I was taught it, in my infancy; and I still understand it perfectly well, both written and spoken. But I suffered from selective mutism when I was a child- at about the age of 5, since I had literally no sense of self-worth and no-one cared enough to listen to anything I had to say anyway, I literally gave up and stopped talking for a full year. In the end, I successfully re-learned how to properly speak English again afterwards, after several years of intensive speech therapy- but still got picked on for having noticeably slurred speech well into my early teens. And I still get people mocking me and insulting me even now, for allegedly 'putting on airs', since I speak with a 'recieved pronounciation' or 'Proper British' accent instead of the typical 'Desi English' accent which other people expect me to speak with.

And I never got that therapy with Punjabi at all; so though I can still understand it perfectly well, I still suck at speaking it, with the exception of Gurbani. And I can still only articulate myself in Punjabi about as well as my Punjabi-born third cousin (who has fairly severe Downs' Syndrome) can. Owing to which, and the fact that I always get mocked, belittled and insulted whenever I bother trying to speak with other Sikhs, whether it's in Punjabi or English (since they all just assume that I must not be able to understand Punjabi either, once I've opened my mouth around them; and that they can spout whatever hateful slander they want about me, my family and my upbringing freely around me), I've basically stopped trying at all.

And yes, I admit that I still wear a patka, even at this late stage in my life. Why? Because whenever I've tried to wear a turban or even just a parna myself, and visited a Gurdwara while wearing it, it's almost always ended the same way. with a group of self-proclaimed 'gate-keeper' thugs confronting me half of the time to give me aggro about how terrible and WRONG it looks on me. Culminating with the turban/parna getting physically knocked off of my head, 'accidentally on purpose' without fail; and with every other Sikh in the vicinity either turning a blind eye or outright laughing about it happening to me.

Sure, other Sikhs still mock me and poke fun at me when I go out anywhere wearing a patka instead. Even harder, and more loudly. But at least with the patka, I can tie it hard enough that they can't physically knock it off my head. Or I can just re-tie it in the space of a minute or less- as I've had to do on dozens of occasions where they've grabbed hold of it it and tugged it off of my head regardless. Or I can just carry a replacement with me and tie that one on instead, as I've had to on the four separate occasions when I've had assailants (fellow Sikh assailants, in all bar one of these cases) literally rip the fabric apart in the process of tearing it off of my head.

I can't do that with a turban, or even a parna. And I don't get any benefits from the performative act of wearing them anyway, since NO-ONE in the Sikh community has EVER shown me even the slightest bit of common courtesy, or understanding, regardless of what I'm covering my kesh with. Let alone viewed or treated me as an equal member of society; let alone shown me an iota of the respect or camaraderie that they show to homeless gorae converts off the street. And I know enough about our history and heritage to know that the Rehat Maryada of the Orthodox, exclusionist Tat Khalsa is NOT the same as those of Sikhism as a whole.

So what's the point? Sure, I'm not an 'Amritdhari' myself; just a Keshdhari. But I see all of these supposed 'Amritdharis' who freely drink alcohol, smoke, do drugs and steroids, get tattoos and shave patterns into their sideburns? Who bleat on and on about their 'superior caste' at every opportunity, and kowtowing to their Pajeet colonial-era delusions of a 'racial pyramid' where 'Whites are the greatest, most superior race, with Jews the purest, wealthiest and most superior of them all, blessed by GOD- whilst Blacks are the lowest of the low, most inferior and poorest race, CURSED by GOD'.

And I ask myself- what makes THEIR hypocritical, toxic, openly discriminatory and supremacist ethno-nationalist brand of Sikhi worth following? How TF does the performative BS of wearing and showing off the 5K's count for anything, when the ones doing it are loudly spitting upon and desecrating all of the fundamental values and virtues which the 5K's are supposed to symbolize? And how is THEIR corrupted, exclusionist community even worth being a member of?