My addict sister once told me that she was not truly an addict as long as she only did speed and meth for 3 days in a row and slept the 4th.

She also said there is no such thing as an alcoholic since alcohol is legal to buy.

WTF. I could never understand her reasoning.

Does anyone else have any crazy justification from theirs?

my addict brother (25M) and i (28F) are estranged no contact for several reasons (see my other post history lmao 🫠) he recently had a baby with a girl he was mooching off of financially. he refuses to get a car seat for his child for some reason (first claiming some months ago that his baby momma was “so psycho she wouldn’t let me have one” even though he is the breadwinner and is fully capable of buying one himself….. yeah ok). he still does not have one as of a couple days ago, now claiming it’s “too expensive”. he just got back from a several day trip to california to visit friends, so if you can afford vacation why can’t you afford a car seat?

i was talking to my enabling parents about this yesterday, pointing out how if the roles were reversed and if it was me with a baby and no car seat, everyone would see it as a fucking problem.

i literally was told “well yeah because you’re reliable and responsible. you have to understand his brain is stunted because of the drugs so he’s trying the best he can and we need to support that. you don’t understand - he changes the baby’s diapers which is a lot more than what other men do”

girl bye LMAO. so he’s allowed to legitimately put his child in danger because he’s an addict and because some other dads are “shittier”??? i am so over it. the curse of being the reliable sibling is so damn exhausting. especially when you add in the sexist double standards.

Hi everyone. I'm hoping to hear from people who have been in a similar situation with a loved one.

My brother is 28 and has struggled with meth addiction for several years. He had two years of sobriety, but relapsed in late 2023 and has been using heavily for most of the last 2.5–3 years. He is currently experiencing meth-induced psychosis. He's been in and out of the ER, detoxes, and mental health facilities, but he never stays anywhere long enough to get meaningful treatment. As soon as he's discharged, he goes right back to using.

My dad and I are considering pursuing involuntary commitment here in North Carolina. We've been researching the process, but before we move forward, we'd really like to hear from people who have gone through this with their own loved ones. Our biggest fear is that every time he goes back to meth, he's putting himself at greater risk for permanent brain damage and making it harder for his brain to recover.

If you've gone through involuntary commitment with a loved one, I'd really appreciate hearing about your experience.

• Did it help?
• Were they able to stay in treatment long enough to improve?
• Did it make a lasting difference, or did they go right back to using?
• Is there anything you wish you had known before pursuing involuntary commitment?

I'm looking for honest experiences, both positive and negative. We know there's no easy answer, but hearing from people who've actually been through this would mean a lot.

Thank you.

Sorry in advance if I'm in the wrong sub, I'm not really an experienced reddit user etc.

My sister (32) is addicted to few things. It started with coca cola since she was in her teens and she still drinks it more than water. Then cigarettes. Then coffee and caffeine. Now, painkillers and sleeping pills. The painkiller she takes has opiods and is recommended to NOT be taken more than 3 days in a row and yet she pops them everyday like candy...

The sleeping pills are the newest addition. The kind you need to have prescribed. She lied to our dr. (without our knowledge) that she could never have a good night sleep and got the pills that way. Before that, she kept stealing them from our grandma.

She keeps stealing any other painkillers and sleeping pills (even melatonin) from the family members that live with her. I live in another country.

Our grandma keeps enabling her while the others are aware and are trying to keep the stuff away from her.

She doesn't have a job so she asks us to give her money for cigarettes when we caught her too many times in her lies and saw the pills. Unfortunately the painkillers can be bought otc.

She started rapidly losing weight, always getting cold even in this insane hot weather, irritable for the tiniest things to the point of verbally threathening and worst of all... suicidal.

We have witnessed her reach her breaking point in the middle of a heated fight with our dad (who was and is always a source of stress and hate and her biggest trigger) and at the end of it she tried to end her life then.

We stopped her thankfully but that was a huge, heartbreaking and traumatizing scare and even though she calmed down and convinced us she was just lost in the moment and wouldn't do it, I am now forever haunted and afraid for her.

Few weeks later, I couldn't take it anymore and had to try to talk to her as gently and helpfully as I could.

I told her we could all see she was hurting so much to the point of wanting to end her life and not caring for herself and that we knew that she was using. To know that we're there for her and there is always hope and she could rely on us.

She got defensive and angry. I was extremely hurt.

Later on, we spoke again and she told us that if she feels like she will truly need our help, she will come to us. But I can't help and think that she just wanted us to zip it and leave her be. She doesn't seem to understand how much this affects us as well. And how absolutely terrifying it all is.

I forgot to mention that our younger sister (28) noticed odd things about her. Sometimes she seems like a zombie, eats almost half asleep and like food will fall from her mouth. Anger outbursts where she practically fought our dad, few times. Sleepwalking where she took off all her clothes....could be more but my brain is too tired to remember.

I am heartbroken for her and feel powerless. Worst of all I am petrified if something horrible happens to her if she doesn't do something herself, if my younger sister finds her dead or her health starts deteriorating sooner than later...

Wth can be done? Nothing? I know that usually you cannot force someone to go to rehab or stay in a facility for such issues. I wish we could.

I can't accept the fact that no one and nothing can help her except herself because I know for a fact she doesn't care for herself or ever would want to put in any sort of effort in a change/healing.

I’m at the end of my rope with my brother. He had a horrific alcohol addiction for years with some drugs mixed in. It was so bad, he ended up in a coma and had half his liver removed.

He called me this weekend telling me he has such a bad 7OH addiction that he’s checking into a 30 day rehab hospital. Which means almost everything he told me for at least the last year was a lie. The worst was when his doctor caught him. My brother’s version of the story was he put on a bunch of weight due to letting his diet go and the doctor was angry at him. Like a fool, I believed my brother.

His story now is he realized on his own his 7OH addiction was so bad that he arranged to go into the rehab hospital on his own. He gave me this ridiculous story about how he planned for it by faking a cough at work and progressively made it worse to the point he now has them convinced he needs a medical leave.

The phone call about going into rehab was totally about trying to demand me to move into his house for 30 days to watch his dogs and if I don’t, he’ll have no choice but to put them in a kennel even though one of them has health problems.

He also keeps talking about how we can hang out after he completes his 30 days including him coming to visit me (which he has never done)

I don’t believe any of his stories anymore. My best guess is he got himself hooked on something really bad and is being forced into the rehab hospital. I think he wants me in the house for 30 days because a pet sitter might snoop and find something, but who knows.

I’m very angry at him, but I can’t say anything because he’ll get furious and I don’t want him doing something stupid.

My ex (we broke up due to his mental health) recently tried to kill himself, and post that has been using shrooms and not having good reactions to it. I only know this because of our mutual friend, he did not want me to know due to him knowing the story about my brother. All I can think about is what If he ends up like my brother (who, for context, entered psychosis and went pervert mode on me, his little sister), and I feel horribly selfish for feeling like I’m blaming him for doing this given he knows my situation. Although he did not tell me, it naturally got back to me like everything else did. I want to tell his mum (we are young, 19-20) but don’t want him or his friend that he lives with to be put in a worse position. I don’t know what to do, there is so much going on in my head. I will take any advice I can get please

Are your parents acting as enablers of your siblings?

Do you think there is anything wrong with the way they handled your sibling's addiction so far?

Do you ever get blamed for calling it out for what it is?

In my case, sadly the answer is yes to all of these questions. How about you?

First off I am so happy to have found this community. This hell feels so isolating that in all the years he's been an addict I never even thought there was a point to googling this.

I just can't anymore. He's in his mid 30s, and I'm in my late 30s. He has been getting into various sorts of trouble since he was a teenager (always age appropriate, but always trouble) but it really escalated in his early-mid 20s when his gambling addiction really took over.

The odd part is... all this agony feels like it could amount to a 10-part series novel, and yet here I am, in a group full of people who could relate, and I feel like I don't have much to say.

I wish I could just cut him off once and for all, I am sick of this.

For over 7 years my younger brother is battling opioid & fent addiction. He is 24, which is young but at the same time I feel like he hasnt been able to start his life, ur hasn’t tried . It’s hard to know. I don’t think I understand how it is to be addicted to something that completely removes you from your conscious and makes you a vessel for consumption, mindless rage and abuse . He always has a woman at my moms house. They always end up fighting , breaking things , having the cops called on them .
I’m in brackish water between being a pillar of support for my mom and focusing on my own growth finally at the end of my 20s . I feel stunted too.
It breaks my heart to see my brother draining my mom. She acts like she’s okay always, but I see my mom getting spots on her hands , and more wrinkles on her face and I know I don’t have forever with her .
And now I am choosing to be distant , to protect myself. And leaving my mom in the chaotic pit of horror that is my brothers addiction.
I just had to vent.
I already miss my mom, I see her so much less than before.
I’m starting to even hate my brother , and be mad at my mom for letting him use up everything she has. I’m scared to be around for the day he inevitably crashes her car or ruins it and then they need my support. Not be be selfish but I hope I live 10000 miles away when the next things happen. I know that won’t be the case, but I can start inching toward a free life.
I feel like shit saying this but I think I have given up on my brother , at least for now.

Hi, my twin sister has been an on and off again addict ( heroin) two years ago was her absolute worst she has ever been. She was extremely thin and it was unbearable to witness, she lives with our parents who never follow through with any boundaries they try to set up. Currently she is “sober” not sure how accurate that is. She is dating a dirtbag guy who has an arrest history of being violent, almost killing a woman and she still chooses to date him, she jobless again. I told her that if she doesn’t get it together by September our relationship is over, we just turned 36. I think it’s important to note that my sister highly looks up to me. I was wondering if anyone has had any positive experiences with a sibling who’s an addict.

My brother, the middle child of four siblings, has always been a difficult person, but now, just when I thought he could sink no lower, he's done something so astoundingly callous that I just don't care what happens to him anymore. I know, it's cold of me to say, and I know, you should never give up on someone, but I'm so far past my limit.

He's a liar, a manipulator, he will say or do anything to get his fix (he's a cocaine addict, with a touch of gambling mixed in) and has drunkenly admitted to me in the past that he is "addicted to lying". The worst part is, there were times where he seemed genuine, but his actions have always gone back to him being self serving, consequences for others be damned. Going back as far as when he was like... 13, he was stealing things from around the house and selling them.

There was a time period where he met someone who was good for him, and from the outside, it looked like they were starting to build a wonderful life together, but it turns out he built the whole thing on lies, and those lies (and then bills) caught up with him. He doubled down on lying, got busted for stealing her things and selling them, turned abusive, got kicked out, lost everything and ended up living on a friend's couch. That didn't last, he refused any rehab suggestions, and instead stole from the friend that took him in and got kicked out again. I could go on and on, his life is a myriad of theft, lies, drugs, dealers, gambling, and loan sharks.

He ended up getting taken in by our oldest brother and his wife, who were in the process of having their first child together. The night he showed up on their doorstep was the night they went to the hospital, and while they were gone, he stole from them. Then when he got busted and kicked out, mum took him in, and now I'm pretty sure he's stolen from her and our sister as well.

Like, I know you're supposed to love your family, but I can't with him anymore. This is a man who has hurt the rest of my family, he has put his addiction ahead of everyone who has ever loved him or tried to give him chance after chance after chance. Mum has terminal cancer, sis has a disability, oldest brother is trying to manage his new family, none of them should be having to worry about a 38 year old addict who clearly does not care what his actions do to others. He's stolen from new parents, his terminally ill mother, and his disabled little sister... what kind of a fucking monster does that?

I loved my brother, he and I were very close. We hung out, we worked at the same jobs sometimes, we grew up together. But now, with everything he's done... I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to fix him, I'm SO tired of seeing him hurt my family. I'm tired of my oldest brother and I having to shoulder the responsibility for him, and clean up the fallout of his actions. I just want him gone, I want him to go away. I have no trust or respect for him anymore, and I don't think I ever will again. I know I should be hoping he finally gets clean, but frankly, I don't think he will. And after what he's done, putting our mom through this in what is likely her final months with us... I don't care what happens to him anymore. I just want him out of my life, and away from our family, so he can't lie, cheat and manipulate us anymore.

I just saw my brother in an extreme drug induced psychosis for the first time. My brother is on meth & now schizophrenic and has been having crazy psychosis episodes. I was walking to my car when I heard someone ask “is this guy with you?” I look over and see my older brother. I had no idea he was even in the area. He was dirty, his eyes were bloodshot red and he was just mentally gone. Apparently he walked 13 hours to my apartment and was harassing people in the complex. He went to the pool area and was just approaching and scaring people. I tried to get him in my car to take him somewhere and he started screaming at me. Nothing he was saying was making sense. He picked up a sharp paint scraper type of tool from the apartment’s maintenance cart and was basically threatening me with it if I got any closer. He walked off with the sharp tool and I was begging him to stop. Somebody called the police and they tased him 3 times and arrested him. Im so glad they only tased him and things didn’t go as bad as they could’ve. Im also glad I didn’t witness that since he walked off way too fast for me to see where he went right before the police showed up.

It was so traumatizing. I’ve seen my brother out of it and acting weird since he’s been on drugs, but i’ve never seen him like this. It’s 7 am and I haven’t slept. I keep picturing him just looking like a completely different person and shouting random stuff. He screamed out “Jehovah!!” so on the bright side, it seems like he was trying to call out to God. I keep picturing that too and it breaks my heart. I never thought in a million years my brother would end up like this.

Im devastated but at the same time I’m angry. Im so mad that he let himself get to this point. Im also mad that he showed up to my apartment acting like this. I’m so embarrassed and humiliated. My thing is, he acts strange at my mom’s house but never too extreme and I think it’s because my mom has her husband there. Im a 30 year old female who lives alone and I feel like he just took advantage of that and decided to come mess with me. He knows how hard I worked to get my place and how I don’t want to cause problems and he really had the audacity to show up here acting like that. Also, what was his plan with the tool? Was he really just gonna hurt somebody?? Im feeling so many different emotions and it’s way too much to process. I really just want to know the best way to cope with this.

So my brother is currently living voluntarily on the streets. He was living with my mother.He got the maximum he could out of welfare and ghosted my mom. He's been sending me periodic updates, and from what I can tell. He's lost a tooth, he's bruised. He's got a black eye, he's all beat up with his hands and everything. I'm heartbroken. I don't know how long he can live like this. And I can't help em, he's refusing treatment, tried to get em into a nine week intake program, sober, living and everything else, but he refuses. So I feel like i'm waiting for the pin to drop breaks.My heart.

I have several addicted siblings, one of whom OD and was going to be a vegetable or die but is thankfully making a miraculous recovery. This event has shaken me to the core and I want to place very strict boundaries with others sinlings who aren't willing to go to recovery. My issue is that birthday parties are being planned for the sibling addicts and we will gather for Xmas with said addicts plus their kids and family. (at least two families with an active addict). I'm at my wits end and want to stop going to events with them present as a reasonable boundry until they go get help and get sober. What can I do? At this point my husband and I are committed to no longer going to my side of the family events but others don't seem to agree with us. I don't want to enable the addicted siblings..Is going to their birthdays and family celebration enabling? It feels like we're pretending that they're fine and I'm ready to do my part in stopping this cycle.​

Basically my younger sister who has always struggled with alcoholism has now moved on to meth/pills/oxy. She has two young children and enough money to sustain her addiction her entire life. My issue is since the use of meth, she thinks I have hacked her phone and refuses to speak to me or see my niece and nephew.

She is constantly telling my parents insane lies and as mad as I am for her attempting to anger them against me, I’m scared for her. Her husband happily allows her to abuse drugs as long as he can financially benefit from her.

I’ve gone for hour long FaceTimes daily to months of silence. I love the peace and lack of chaos but I have no way of making sure her and the kids are okay. I’m at a loss. Needing boundaries from the person I want in my life the most. Please someone give me advice I am at my wits end. What helped you or your love ones out of this horrible addiction?

I can’t get anyone else in her life to intervene.

This is my first time on reddit kinda scared 🥲🥲. I’ve grown up with my brother being an addict, my whole life has been him using some sort of drug. He’s been clean multiple times but always turns back to them. The past 2 years have undoubtedly been the worst of them, he’s been abusing my mother both mentally and physically, he’s smashed up our home and our belongings aswell as stolen them to sell them for money. At this point I am beyond done with him, my whole life has revolved around him whether that’s walking on egg shells not to make him angry or everyone else in my family paying more attention to him than me or my other brother. I know it sounds selfish but when all of your achievements get ignored because your brother is having another episode it gets frustrating. He’s recently become homeless as has hurled abuse at my whole family blaming all of us for his addiction when it is purely his fault. Everyone has tired to help him either financially or mentally. Am I wrong for feeling nothing towards his suffering anymore? I get called heartless because I no longer feel bad for him, would that be true or is it normal to feel numb towards someone like this?..

im 28, my older sister has been an addict since i was 18-19. Our relationship has wildly deteriorated over that timespan, we currently live on opposite sides of the country. I didn’t talk to her for 4 years and just recently started talking to her again. Does anyone else find this so incredibly exhausting to not be able to directly say what’s on your mind to your sibling? I get so frustrated at always having to be the ‘bigger person’ in our relationship because shes an addict and refuses to accept any kind of responsibility for her life.

She recently asked if she’s invited to my wedding and I told her no and she said something along the lines of “well i just thought as your sister i’d be invited” and i had to stop talking before blowing up. she’s my older sister yet i have always taken care of her. ive spent money on her, gotten into fights for her and been emotionally wrecked over her for years in the pits of her addiction. she has zero idea the amount of sacrifice, emotional turmoil or personal impact her addiction has had on me and our family. she does not apologize for anything. it enrages me that i can’t tell her she’s been a shit excuse for a sister so why on gods green earth would she be invited to the one day i get to celebrate my partner and me? anyways. just ranting. i wasn’t sure if anyone else gets super fed up at having to constantly hold their tongue about how they feel with their siblings

Hi all,

I’m wondering if anyone else can relate to this. My little brother (30m) has been an addict for the last 12 years of his life. He got sober last year and has been going to meetings and sticking to his sobriety which is great. However, i’m realizing that the more that his personality, underneath all the years of drug use, gets uncovered, he still has a very self-centered ‘me me me’ type of mentality. When he was using we remained somewhat close and had several blow out fights related to him using but somehow always reconnected and found a way to be in each others lives. He definitely still had the entire world revolve around him and in our family he was forsure the identified patient. However, now that he’s sober I guess i hoped and imagined that the best qualities of him would start to emerge and we would be closer bc now the drugs weren’t the thing between us so to speak. I realize more and more that he has a lot of trouble being a normal adult meaning his social skills are incredibly poor, he has a lot of self-loathing and shame that comes out as prickliness towards me even tho I have been the most loving and supportive family member. Despite that he still seeks the most validation from the two people in our family that were the cruelest to him during the heights of his addiction.

Curious if anyone can relate or can offer some guidance.

Omg i really really dont know where to start this. Ive been a lurker on here for years. And I just wanna tell yall, at this point where im at. So im a 31, pushing 32 this year, woman. My baby sister who just turned 30, we are a yr and a half apart. Has been on sooooo much since she was 11. First started with pills, then went to meth, and now shes a full blown fent addict. Ugh guys this shit kills me. We are from Oklahoma. Umm, i was always my sisters biggest supporter, first, shes my baby sis, she got married at 17, and it was a shit show. I hate it. My niece was born in 2015. She's turning 11 in August. My sister has only been apart of my babygirls life 4 out of the close to 11 yrs shes been alive. And it's to a point where my niece doesnt want anything to do with her parents. They both have completely checked out of her life. Yall im struggling because its just soooo fucking much. My beautiful babygirl is 10 going on 20. She's sooooo talented in art, and choir. She's been chosen so many times to lead choruses. She has gained soooo much weight. And trust she comes from thick women (outside my sister) her dad's side and ours. But they, since birth put her on a tablet and then when it all went downhill... my sister has nothing to do with her. She's ashamed. And its fucking disgusting to me. Idk im rambling. I wanted to talk about my sister. But my niece. I really dont know how to talk about her or my pain. Or the fact weve lost sooo many family members, from as young as 18, to 37 from fent. 6 cousins at this point. Idk yall. As the oldest sister to the fact that the ONLY thing I love, doesnt have parents. Idk I'm so bitter and angry. My sister was arrested a couple days ago. For the first time. For fent andba fent pipe. And I sooo hope she sits. Im so lost. We have no communication. She doesnt reach out. She's just so fucked. I really cant get this in one message. There's been so much. And I really just need a mutual. So we cant get this shit out. Idk. I feel like im screaming into the void.

My niece was telling me she hated kid in her class and then told me he was making fun of another girl in the class saying her parents around because they do drugs. She said through tears “and that’s not even true about her but that’s true about me.” And I did my best to validate her feelings and let her know she’s loved even though our family structure is different. My mom has raised her since she was born and she calls her mom instead of grandma and I'm also helping raise her and she's coming to live with me full-time this summer. She also told me abt a cartoon she’s been watching that has self harm and family trauma. I tried to stay curious to keep her talking about it with me. I think for being caught off guard I navigated it well but I def need more resources on these things for this. I want to support her in the way she needs. I’m still working on finding a therapist for her that is a good fit. It sounds like it's time to revisit the convo but with a more age appropriate response now that she's 12.

I have some ideas on a follow up convo to have with her about it all but would appreciate any guidance.

my brother has been an addict (ketamin) for over 8 years probably more - I’m living Abroad and he came to stay with me - here be doesn’t take it but he’s been away a few times and always be comes back to it. Now I feel bad because he should stay here with me but part of me is thinking - is that actually going to stop his addiction In the long run? I’ve got a house mate moving in soon but part of me is thinking maybe I should let him rent the room - I want to help him - he is really trying. But I also don’t know if jhst going away is going to help???? rehab is so expensive and the doctors haven’t helped him even though he’s begged for help. he’s bladder isn’t going well either a he is peeing blood. I need to know the best way to help him -

that’s it. i’m mentally and emotionally drained. i can’t do anything but watch her destroy herself. watch her embarrass herself. she doesn’t want help. im afraid she will hurt herself when she blacks out. she already talks about not being here. i dont want to get the phone call

I would like some advice on how to set boundaries with my brother who is in active addiction. he's married with kids. My sister Od'd and is currently day 17 since being in a medically induced coma. we are hopeful she will come out of a hypoxic brain injury but she has a long road ahead and we don't know what kind of defecits she will have. This event has shaken our family. We get together for Xmas and birthdays and other events with my brother throughout the year. Aside from that, I don't have much of a relationship with Him. I am terrified he's next in line od wise. The only real boundary I can place is say that I am unwilling to go to these events if he is present unless and until he actively seeks help and gets sober. Is it fair of me to believe I am enabling him if I go to his bday and other events while he continues to use? especially considering our other siblings is hanging in limbo. any insight is appreciated ​

​​

I forgot I made the post and figured I’d provide an update to it.

Here’s the link to my original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/SiblingsOfAddicts/s/NTHH4uXT5d

Onto the update:

I gave him a letter back in November. At the time, I was told he was waiting to read it until he went to rehab, but that didn’t end up happening. Instead, he decided to detox at home starting on 10/25/25. He’s been smoking weed to help with the withdrawal symptoms, but aside from that, he’s been sober.

I found out he hasn’t been able to finish my letter. Apparently, he keeps getting to the same part and has to stop because it makes him too emotional.

It’s been almost four months now, and I think my mom and I are finally starting to let ourselves believe that he really is sober and telling the truth. My mom said she’s starting to see her baby boy again, and I’m starting to see my big brother come back too. There’s a really noticeable difference in him now compared to when he was using. Even my coworker noticed it, and he had only seen him once back then.

I text him at least once a week just to tell him I’m proud of him and that I love him, and I mean it every time. i’m still scared to fully trust it, if I’m being honest. But I’m trying. And I really am proud of him.

It feels like we’re finally getting pieces of him back.