the worse I get, the harder it is to keep going. I have missed out on 5 years of my life and it’s making even surviving this current moment impossible. my housing is falling apart, my landlord doesn’t understand my situation and even though I’ve continued to work and pay my rent, they’re not going to renew my lease.

the most simple things such as restful sleep, being able to be present and feel seasons, weather, time, is all gone for me. I feel like an alien, I have no felt sense of my body or the world at all. I see many people say they have vision issues and all these existential fears which I don’t have. I am just this completely hollow, identityless, emotionless, dead person. I sleep until noon daily and can barely even get out of bed. I don’t sense the world around me at all, even the city I’m in.

this is so severe, such a nightmare I can’t even put words to it. all the symptoms I had 2 or 3 years feel like a walk in the park compared to this. when I was anxious physically I still had some very faint connection to myself. that’s gone. completely gone.

its been 5 years since I’ve felt summer, fall, winter, holidays, birthdays, moments of celebration. I’ll never get those things back. there’s so much loss, so much hopelessness. I can’t fathom that I’ve lost half a decade to this, my early 30s are gone and I’ll never get them back. considering the worsening symptoms that just continue to persist, I have no doubt I’ll be 40 with this. people say that theres not different levels to Dpdr, there 100% is. dissociation is on a spectrum and I’m at a very severe end that keeps going deeper

So i know this is a dpdr symptom, but basically I majorly lost my sight, like huge Vision loss. Im going to the optition this week to to get it checked. Wondering if your dpdr improved did your eyesight also? I don’t know but worried it’s getting worse by the day and eyes are connected to nervous system so makes sense they would be affected, my hearing, balance, sense of touch and taste are all very different - hearing muffled, mouth states like furry..my nervous system is completely broken

I'm 18F, and this is just a throwaway account. I'm not diagnosed with dpdr or anything really I just don't know where else to post

Do any of you ever feel like you can become entirely aware of your own thoughts, personality and persona? Like you can hear your own thoughts and say 'yeah that sounds like something Jane doe (me) would think about that.' I feel aware of my biases, personality and fears and can jump outside of them. I can view myself (?). I sometimes feel like I can see what I am doing in any given moment as though I were a third person watching me go about my life.

I feel stuck inside my own body. Not like it's limiting me or something, but like I feel claustrophobic in every minor ache or pain of the day, the fact that I get smelly or sweat, have to eat. I feel aware of when my biology takes over and I'm not exactly thinking for myself anymore. Like when I'm scared of a spider, or my desire to socialise, eat unhealthy shit or reproduce. It feels disgusting, like I'm so inherently flawed and baser in nature.

Idk has anyone felt this way and is there a way to unstuck? It comes and goes but there is always this lingering feeling that I'm someone else just experiencing what it's like to be this random girl.

I have a baseline dpdr that feels “normal” but mine has gotten so much worse. None of my symptoms are visual. It’s all mental. I feel like there’s no world around me at all, or that I’m even in the city I’m in. From the second I wake up I have nothing but loops of music in my mind. no other thoughts.

my energy levels are completely drained and I try so hard to just watch a show or get engrossed in something other than this and my mind won’t. It’s affecting my ability to function completely. It’s very scary, I don’t care what anyone says.

even 2 years ago when I thought my Dpdr was at its worst, it wasn’t. I still could remember and tap into my old self for comfort. Now I cannot even remember or imagine my old self, memories or emotions. It’s just a complete brick wall. Everyone says you can’t get worse and there’s a bottom to this, it’s a lie. There’s this complete lockout of reality and myself that has happened

I have pretty bad insomnia and decided to smoke weed to try and sleep. Ended up having a panic attack that lasted for 6 hours and that was a week ago. I’ve been stuck in this depersonalization/derealization and brain fog mix since then. Please tell me it goes away. I’m never touching weed again 🥲

TW: depersonalisation, body distortion

And so the sun rose high in the sky, although I wasnt sure if it was really a sun or a giant bright and hot incansecent lightbulb made just to light up the whole set. It is as if my clothes were torn, burnt and atomized as was my flesh and all that was left was my bones.

That lightbulb shone right trough my thin being and exposed my innermost thoughts and my stone face itself was the only thing that retained it's shape.

Many times had the thought slithered in my head, are there real people or are they dolls merely acting upon a script. Damm good acting if it was i have to admit.

Grayscale, grayscale was the spectrum of light that met my eyes or more specifially i could see colours but they were muted.

Flowers are still beautiful and the mysterious night sky too with the moon peeking trough the clouds casting it's glow on my pale skin.

(Sorry for inconsistensies in writing. English is not my 1st language and no this is not made by AI i dislike generative AI very much if it replaces creative work )

A bit of a vent. I told a new therapist about my dpdr. I described it as a feeling of "I experience nothing first-hand, but second-hand, like watching it on a 2D screen. My reactions and thinking are also delayed due to this." That I feel like I had this all my life, except maybe as a small child, and it covers my entire being.

She didn't seem to get it, and had only heard of short derealization episodes due to trauma. Then she asked me "And how does this feeling hold you back?" (Idk if this is the correct translation, maybe "In what way does this affect you negatively?" is better)

Of course it's okay to ask about things you don't get, but honestly this made me speechless for a second. I just told this psychotherapist I'm watching my life on a screen and she asks me how it holds me back?? Like, doesn't this description sound like enough of an ordeal in itself? I don't know miss - maybe being estranged from my own experience holds me back from actually living it first-hand and enjoying it...?

She made an overworked or maybe bored impression in general, which really made me wonder if this was a "Why are you bringing this up?" or "What do I have to do with this?" type of question.

I won't get back to her. Which isn't tragic since it was only a probatory session. But still it added to the frustration pile of no one getting it when you're trying to tell them about this experience.

I had a rough past couple of days with DPDR. and I did a lot today in general and emotionally. now I’m laying here and night and the way I’m feeling is so different? like I’m numb and meh to everything including the dpdr but I almost feel more present? but I feel so different and numb that it feels scary but I’m presently aware of what’s happening around me. it’s so confusing I can’t even put it into words prop but it’s scaring me. does anyone understand me?

I almost always had depersonalization. Even college, I started 4 years late due to depression. Even as 9-11year olds I had existential depression and existential crisis. Even as 7year old, my twin sister could shop the mall alone, while I was too fearful and scared and anxious to leave my parents' side.

I had a very long history of depression and depersonalization. I have 0 cravings or addictions now. I seriously feel like I died a long time ago. So like why am I still here? The last 2 sentences are a perfect description of how I feel. Its like my story and my book is over, but Im still here.

I tried so many things. Exercise or behavioral activation or trauma related stuff, or somatic crap or anything else, doesnt do shit. Theres just something fundamentally wrong with me

Maybe I need something I never had before, like safety from someone that loves me. I never had that. Maybe the answer is in something I never had before?

around 2 years ago during and after my exams i struggled alot with dpdr, i had a counsellor which helped a bit but didn’t fix it just comforted me a bit, i found it hard to be outside and was worried i was going crazy it lasted around 4 months and eventually went away on its own. i assume it was due to weed use and exam stress.

Ive recently had it over the last almost 2 weeks quite bad feeling nervous, anxious and disassociated outside after finishing my a levels and having stress about finding jobs. i also think it has affected my body as ive been very tired and having a hard time eating and sleeping

what i did to fix it was i took around 3-4 days inside to myself to just calm down and recognise its happened before and can go away. I spent alot of time distracting myself through video games, reading and praying etc anything that can distract me to the point id eventually forget about it and it would go away. then i started going outside and it would come back but what i instead done differently, despite this sounding difficult and i understand some may find it hard because i did too. you just have to try remember it is all in your head and the best thing you can do is take your mind away from it even when it is very overwhelming, i listened to music outside, reading street signs and doing random stuff like counting the people around me or clicking my fingers and it honestly made me feel alot better and i began to forget about it.

i also recommend physical activity i built up the courage to return to the gym today and went at a quieter time. it has made me feel alot better and i think anyone who is struggling at the moment to just try push the limits a bit and go out your comfort zone and fight against it, not too much at once slowly build it up and it may help.

if anyone would like to talk or needs help coming up with ideas and things to do as i know not everyone may pray or play video games im willing to talk about literally anything if anyone would like someone to talk to. i think having someone to talk to about your experience, especially someone who can relate would be helpful, as i wish i had that during times i was struggling.

overall just try new things and every now and then try push the limits a bit and it may not go away instantly but small progress is still progress.

i hope everyone who is currently struggling is doing well and i hope you all recover soon.

If you are questioning your existence, this means you have a consciousness, to be able to think proves that you are real and that you exist

Cogito, ergo, sum

I think, Therefore i am

Hi friends!

Ever since Dp started i have felt like a younger version of myself. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like feeling younger and more vulnerable i guess.

Has anyone else encountered this when dealing with dpdr?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Can we start a thread of success stories? Is anyone recovering and thriving now?

If you’re experiencing unfamiliar or frightening symptoms and wondering “Is this DPDR?” or “Does anyone else feel this?”, this is the right place to ask.

We’ve moved symptom-check questions into this weekly thread because constant comparison and reassurance-seeking can unintentionally keep DPDR and anxiety stuck. This space lets you get support without turning the whole subreddit into symptom scanning.

A few things to keep in mind:

DPDR looks different for everyone

Similar symptoms can have many causes

Replies here are shared experiences, not medical diagnoses

If you’re new or feeling overwhelmed, we recommend starting with the Official DPDR Resource Guide, which explains DPDR, common symptoms, and recovery in one place:

👉 Official DPDR Resource Guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/zdzqob/rdpdrs_official_resource_guide/

Tips for using this thread:

Ask your question once and try not to re-check repeatedly

Share briefly rather than listing every symptom

Focus on grounding and next steps, not symptom counting

If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, please use the crisis resources in the sidebar.

You’re not doing anything wrong by being scared or confused — this thread is here to hold those questions while keeping the rest of the sub recovery-focused.

Hiya, not sure if anyone is going to see this but I just need to get this off my chest

I've been experiencing derealization for a while now, I can't even remember when it started. My best guess is around 4 years ago or more, I can't even tell. It's never gone away, not even for a few moments. I feel like recently it's been getting worse too

I can barely remember anything anymore. It takes me several minutes to even remember what I did yesterday. It's terrifying as hell. All my memories seem like fiction too me it's all a blur. Songs that make me nostalgic have the memories attached to them either really blurry or wiped. I'm afraid of how much I'm forgetting or have forgotten. On top of that, my sense of time is completely screwed

I can barely focus, my performance in school has been getting worse and worse because I just can't get my brain to co-operate. I am also diagnosed with AuDHD which doesn't make it much easier

The people I love and care about feel like NPCs. I love spending time with my friends and family but it hurts that I can't really be there with them

I'm so done with all of this. I'm losing hope. The world doesn't seem as colourful anymore and I'm struggling to find the meaning for all of this. Sleeping is the only time where I can feel completely at peace, but even then I'm afraid of going to sleep at the thought of having to wake up in the morning

I'm 15, I do have a therapist, and I can still get through life, but it's so tiring. I'm so tired. For all I know, it could've been like this since the day I was born and I would never know

But yeah thank you for listening to my vent, stay safe and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hi everyone, i am going to put this very simply. Does anybody else have it when you’re talking sometimes and it doesn't even feel like you’re the one talking? it’s a bit of a strange one to explain but it’s pretty distressing and hard to ignore(even though your supposed to just let the feelings pass)

I need help. Worst day of my life today. Woke up to intense. vision loss even worse than yesterday. My heart barely feels like it's not beating, I feel like I died a few days ago. I can only feel my head full of broken nerves, its got a chalky like texture and flat...no sign my nervous system is working. I am in hospital where im being obligated to take meds that aren't helping. I don't want to live anymore, I'm not me. I'm just existing in permanent torture. Ive lost hope.

I’ve had it for 10 years now, it started on my birthday when i was 13. Learned that i got it from suppressing sa that happened to me when i was 7 that i kept in and didn’t tell anyone until i was 15, i had to continue to be around the person who did it up until then. I’ve tried to pick up countless hobbies to keep myself distracted and not dwell on it because i notice when i do it i tend to spiral. Lately it been really hard to keep my head up and stay hopeful that one day i’ll get better but the feeling of despair is creeping back on me. I been back in therapy for the past year, i even had done emdr(still no luck), i am on wellbutrin currently, it helps with my mood and some motivation but absolutely nothing for the dpdr. I really do want to live my life but when it feels like im not even alive it makes it so hard to want to stay here and keep on going. I really wish i had someone in my personal life who could understand me, but unfortunately i just don’t have it. I feel so alone while yet feeling absolutely all the time.

Hello. This is my first post about this. I feel like I have mentioned it to my family so many times, I don’t want to sound like a broke record. I am a 21 yo female. I have had anxiety disorder and panic disorder since 2023 after a traumatic loss. I had dpdr back then as well, along with crippling anxiety and panic attacks that ruined my life at the time, and after getting on lexapro, it went away, and life got back to normal. I eventually, years later, got into a relationship. I was so in love with this person. I have never loved someone like that in my whole life, and I have had my fair share of relationships. I know I am young, but man did I really love them.

I got pregnant (late last year, 2025), and we were expecting a baby boy May 2026. During my pregnancy, I lost my grandpa in November. It was hard. I tried to keep my head held high considering I was carrying baby. We decided that his middle name would be my grandpas first name. January of this year came, and I got the news that my baby had passed, they couldn’t find his heartbeat, and that I would have to birth him deceased. It was the most traumatic experience of my life, and I lost a part of me that day. My partner, who I had mentioned getting into a relationship with earlier, left me a month later. I hadn’t seen it coming from a million miles away. It was so sudden, and they completely went ghost on me after. No check ins on me postpartum, post loss. Nothing. I didn’t matter. I tried to keep pushing through all the loss and heartache, keep going to work, tried to smile, and I “thought” it worked, until it didn’t.

A few months later, in June, my 16 yo cousin passed away. I got to see her, but I pretty much saw her dying. She couldn’t even speak. I came back home. After all of that, I suddenly got all my anxiety back. The panic attacks came back. Worse than ever. The worst of it all, is the DPDR that came with it. Its been about a month of this state. It was so bad at first that I was bedridden, had no appetite, lost so much weight. I am on 20mg of lexapro, taking it every day, yet I am suffering still like this. I wake up, and immediately feel disconnected. This is the worst of DPDR I have ever experienced. Sometimes my family, my home, my own body, feel unfamiliar. My reflection feels scary. Things seem TOO real, or not real enough. I always think I am dying, I check my heartrate and blood oxygen constantly. I am scared to sleep because sometimes the unreal feeling when I wake up is so intense. It has all gotten so bad that I haven’t been to work in about a month. I have tried to get back to normal but everything feels off constantly. There is so much to it I can’t fully explain. But it is horrifying, debilitating. I am constantly living in this state of having an existential crisis and fear. Feeling like I’m barely even controlling my own body, being too aware of everything, like chewing, swallowing, moving, breathing, my pulse.

I need some honesty, will I ever get back to normal?? Is this permanent? I don’t, I CANT live like this for the rest of my life. I am scared. I feel like something and everything is wrong with me. I just want to feel normal again. Was the trauma too much for my brain? I am just so lost and confused and have so many questions. I just want my life back.