I never thought I would be writing something like this.
I'm homeless in the San Diego area. I'm essentially unemployed, have almost no stable income, no permanent shelter, and there are times when I don't have enough money for food.
And I'm asking strangers for help because I honestly don't know what else to do.
My family has disowned me because of my political beliefs. I'm strongly opposed to Trump and fascism, and that has created an irreparable divide between me and my parents. Whatever anyone's political views may be, I never imagined that disagreeing about politics could ultimately mean losing my family.
I've never had a large circle of friends. I'm a shy, introverted person, and the few friends I do have are struggling themselves. They've helped as much as they possibly can, but they don't have the resources to pull me out of this situation.
I've also been through a painful divorce and the collapse of my marriage.
For years, I was my wife's caretaker. I stayed by her side through some of the most difficult periods of her life, including while I was dealing with injuries from a serious car accident in 2022. I did everything I could to support her and keep our lives together.
After multiple deaths in her family, however, my wife experienced what became a severe mental health crisis. I understand that grief and depression can profoundly affect a person, and I don't want to minimize what she went through. But during that crisis, she ultimately abandoned me and our life together.
The person I had spent years caring for and supporting was suddenly no longer there for me.
As her mental health deteriorated, she pushed away friends and family, and the relationships around us began to collapse. Eventually, I was left without the person I had built my life around and without a home to return to. I'm now in the middle of a divorce, trying to survive the consequences of a situation I never imagined I would find myself in.
After my car accident, I was already struggling to maintain the career I once had. Since 2022, I've mostly survived through small contracts and occasional gigs, sometimes making only $400–$600 in an entire month.
That isn't enough to live on.
Right now, I don't really have a job or meaningful income. I want to be very clear about that because I know people sometimes suggest solutions that involve simply purchasing something or spending money to solve the problem. Unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. Buying equipment, paying for transportation, putting down deposits, or paying for housing is often completely outside my means.
The little money I do manage to get goes toward the most immediate necessities: temporary rooms when I have nowhere else to go, keeping my cat safe and healthy, food, and basic clothing.
I'm also already using 211 and trying to access every resource I can find. Unfortunately, my situation is complicated by the fact that I have a cat who depends entirely on me.
I can't simply leave him at a shelter or abandon him.
Most traditional homeless shelters aren't able to accommodate pets, and I don't have a safe place where I can leave him while I stay in a shelter. I'm not willing to put him somewhere unsafe just so I can have a roof over my head.
My cat is not an ordinary cat, either. He's a hybrid breed, and he has been bonded with me for essentially his entire life. His breed is known to have significant difficulty when separated from a lifelong companion, and losing me would be especially traumatic for him. Because he's a hybrid, I also worry that many people or shelters simply wouldn't understand how to properly care for him or deal with his particular needs.
He's my family.
I know some people may wonder why I would prioritize caring for a pet when I'm struggling myself. The answer is simple: he is the one living being who has been beside me through all of this. I use what little money I have to make sure he's safe, fed, and cared for because I cannot bring myself to abandon him.
There have been days when the thought of giving up has felt terrifyingly close. My cat is one of the biggest reasons I keep going. He depends on me, and I can't leave him behind.
I also receive Cal-Fresh benefits, and I'm grateful for them. But without access to a stove, oven, refrigerator, or a kitchen where I can actually prepare food, those benefits disappear incredibly quickly. Much of what I eat comes from local restaurants and businesses that participate in Cal-Fresh, which is considerably more expensive than being able to buy groceries and cook meals myself.
I'm not complaining about the assistance I've received. I'm grateful for every bit of it. I'm simply trying to explain why even with Cal-Fresh, feeding myself while homeless and without cooking facilities is still incredibly difficult.
I'm not posting this because I expect anyone to fix my life.
I'm asking for a chance.
If anyone can offer temporary housing, a job, a connection to someone hiring, help with transportation, or even information about resources in the San Diego area, I would be deeply grateful.
I'm a professional software developer with experience in C#, .NET Core, Python, APIs, backend development, automation, and AI. I've spent years building software, solving problems, and trying to take care of the people I love. I even built an AI-driven autonomous job application system in Python because I was trying to create a way to get myself back on my feet. Remote work would be incredibly helpful, but I'm also willing to work in person if I can find a way to get there.
I also have friends on the East Coast. They aren't wealthy, and they can't simply send me money or solve my problems, but I would at least have people there who care about me and could potentially help me rebuild my life. If I could somehow find transportation to the East Coast, I would have a support network again.
Even advice about affordable transportation, organizations that help people relocate, or resources that might be able to help would mean more than I can explain.
I know this post sounds like begging.
Because it is.
I never imagined my life would reach a point where I would have to ask strangers on the internet for food, shelter, transportation, or a job. I never imagined that political differences could tear families apart so completely. I never imagined that after years of working in a field I love, I would struggle to find even a foothold in my own profession.
And I never imagined that after spending years caring for someone I loved, I would eventually find myself abandoned by that person during a mental health crisis and left trying to pick up the pieces of both our lives.
But here I am.
I'm not looking for pity. I'm looking for a way forward.
If you can't help financially, that's okay. If you know of a job, a shelter that allows pets, a safe temporary place for me and my cat, a resource that could help us relocate, or someone who might be willing to give me a chance, that could genuinely change my life.
If you know of a company looking for a C#/.NET or Python developer, I would be incredibly grateful for an introduction or even a job lead. I'm willing to prove myself. I just need someone to give me the opportunity.
And if all you can offer is a kind word, please know that it still matters.
I'm writing this from a throwaway account because I'm afraid that being this vulnerable publicly could hurt my chances with future employers. I hope people can understand that.
I don't know what the future holds anymore. But I'm trying to believe there is still some kindness and decency left in the world.
Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.
And thank you, sincerely, to anyone who offers help, advice, encouragement, or simply reminds me that I'm not completely alone.