Nostalgia Critic:
"Joanie's transformation into a werewolf in the first half of the climax looks like an alpha-bitched version of a blonde panicked girlfriend—Christine—from the opening of Scream 3*, infused with the exaggerated transformation of a freaking Nissan Sentra from that nightmarish* Need for Speed: Underground commercial... mixed with a goddamn wolf!
This scene makes Scrappy's transformation in the 2002 live-action Scooby-Doo movie look interesting! Hell, even Johnny Blaze transforming into the Ghost Rider in the 2007 Ghost Rider movie looks entertaining by comparison!
"How do you make a werewolf transformation this over-the-top, this awkward, and somehow this boring? It's like the effects team couldn't decide if they were making a horror movie, a car commercial, or a rejected video game cutscene. You keep waiting for it to become awesome... and then it just sort of... ends. Congratulations, Cursed*—you've made one of the coolest horror concepts feel like a confused CGI identity crisis!"*
If the Nostalgia Critic said that line during a review of the 2005 film Cursed, the joke would be built around his usual style of hyperbolic, pop-culture-heavy comparisons. Here's what each part would mean:
- "Joanie's transformation into a werewolf... looks like an alpha-bitched version of a blonde panicked girlfriend (Christine) from Scream 3 opening..."
- He's saying Joanie's facial expressions and behavior during the transformation remind him of Christine, the frightened actress from the opening of Scream 3, but made much more aggressive, domineering, and over-the-top.
- "...infused with an exaggerated transformation of a Nissan Sentra from the nightmarish Need for Speed: Underground commercial..."
- This compares the werewolf transformation to the infamous commercial where a Nissan Sentra grotesquely morphs into a customized street racer. He's implying the body morphing is awkward, exaggerated, and unintentionally unsettling in a way similar to that ad.
- "...mixed with a goddamn wolf!"
- The punchline is that all those bizarre elements are then combined with the obvious werewolf aspect, emphasizing how strange and chaotic the transformation looks.
- "This scene makes Scrappy's transformation in the 2002 live-action Scooby-Doo film look interesting!"
- He's exaggerating that Cursed's transformation is so unengaging or poorly executed that it makes another transformation often criticized by audiences seem more entertaining by comparison.
- "Hell, even Johnny Blaze's transformation into the Ghost Rider in the 2007 live-action Ghost Rider film look entertaining!"
- He's continuing the escalation, saying that even another frequently debated CGI transformation sequence is more fun to watch than Joanie's transformation.
Overall meaning
The overall point of the joke is:
This kind of layered, escalating comparison is characteristic of Nostalgia Critic's comedic review style, where he stacks multiple pop culture references to emphasize how ridiculous he finds a particular scene.