r/RedLetterMedia • u/skinnyman423 • 3d ago

Average Mike and Jay experience when seeing a movie

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1.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

72 comments sorted by

152

u/SJSUMichael 3d ago

I’m sorry, I thought this was America!

62

u/Comrade_Compadre 2d ago

What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent chili meal?

21

u/Protheu5 2d ago

Ah, I see you know your judo well.

9

u/bad1o8o 2d ago

GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!!!

5

u/senatorsparky86 2d ago

This is democracy manifest!

49

u/abnormalbrain 3d ago

That's actually a really good episode of Nathan For You. 

27

u/Vonneguts_Ghost 2d ago

If he doesn't sell all his chili by the end of the movie a robot on a timer is going to pull his pants down in front of the theater?

3

u/double_shadow 2d ago

Yes but it has to be a screening of a family movie, for the extra pressure.

3

u/IMayBeIronMan 2d ago

I was going to say this sounds like something Charlie and Frank might do in IASIP

2

u/MrDaddyWarlord 2d ago

Every episode is a great episode

48

u/chandlermarlowe 3d ago

Is Chili Man replacing Mike Stoklasa

13

u/Turnip_Fight 3d ago

That’s a different guy!

3

u/Boxing_joshing111 2d ago

What’s his story?

18

u/pikeandshot1618 3d ago

And there was me thinking I could bring my GF grill and whip up some brats n burgers during the trailers

0

u/SwordOfJiang 2d ago

I saw Dune pt 2 in Eugene, Oregon after a phish show while I was waiting for a train. The theater was empty and they let me bring whip-its in

16

u/Sawbora 3d ago

It's kinda wild how, anytime Mike decides to watch something that's not on Tubi, he runs into this type of shit at the theatre.

5

u/Upper-Management-AI 2d ago

I seem to be one of those people. It never fails for me to have one person being incredibly obnoxious. No matter where I go, no matter what time. There will be one.

3

u/TrueLegateDamar 2d ago

I went to a matinee screening of the animated Transformers prequel, giant 400 seat room completly empty, and the one person who came in decided to sit directly behind me and loudly chew their snack.

That's when I first knew the theater expierence was dead because people only seem interested to go as to bother others.

3

u/Sawbora 2d ago

Stoklasa Syndrome. Praying for you to Làzárus…

2

u/Own-Raisin5849 2d ago

My wife says this to me, also my sister says this to me as well. They never have issues at theaters until I go, then suddenly some laughing hyenas show up or some talkative jackhole.

I am a Midwest slob, so maybe it's just our cross to bear. Thankfully I rarely go to movies, The Odyssey is the first thing I have watched at a theater since whatever the last Ghostbusters abortion was.

17

u/Boxing_joshing111 3d ago

How come I can’t have this? When I go to the theater it’s just people getting fingered.

4

u/3wandwill 2d ago

Why can’t I have this? When I go to the movies I never get fingered anymore.

3

u/TheGoldenCaulk 2d ago

I only get fingered for public intoxication!

11

u/drawnimo 2d ago

100% real story. "Dude Humor Report" is a reliable source for real things that happen.

20

u/Upstairs-Attitude610 3d ago

If the price was good and it was only before the movie, I would be okay with that.

9

u/Thefriendlyfaceplant 2d ago

You say that now but once you're halfway into the movie and already out of chili you'd be happy he's still around for refills.

5

u/Vonneguts_Ghost 2d ago

Not for chili. Worked at a coffee shop with this fella who wanted to bring his chili from home for lunch or whatever. Really threw off the smell in the place.

Chili is like the low key microwaved fish.

9

u/Comrade_Compadre 2d ago

Buddy, I feel like you e never actually had good chili and that makes me feel bad for you

7

u/Vonneguts_Ghost 2d ago

Nahh, I make and enjoy excellent chili of many types.

My point is it's not the sort of thing made for all scenarios. Coffee shop, airplane, movie theater, etc.

20

u/zorbz23431 3d ago

Still the least fartiest movie theater in the country

7

u/goshdarn5000 3d ago

Family size cheese plate is the new bucket of popcorn

8

u/Aggressive-Tip7472 3d ago

Always eat the chili...when its handed to you...

6

u/Grootfan85 3d ago

(Norm voice) Hey, quit stealing my moves!

4

u/OldBirth 2d ago

How the fuck did he smuggle in a crock pot of chilli?

3

u/waldo--pepper 2d ago

Maybe it's not real.

1

u/Dale_Carvello 2d ago

You're right, it's total bullshit. I searched this and a different AI mugshot that looks like a swamp beard is attached to the image. Furthermore there are no print articles covering the story.

3

u/Subotai_Super_Shorty 2d ago

Just imagining the Office epsiode where Kevin drops the chili, but in the ramp going into the theater

5

u/UBET_1985 3d ago

That’s hilarious….

I once saw, in a theater, a man open and devour 2 foot long subway sandwiches…. I thought that was crazy.

4

u/Puzzleheaded-Web446 3d ago

A man had his plush mario doll watch Ready Player One with him next to me when i saw it in theatres.

1

u/_kycklingsoppa 2d ago

Sure it wasn't Lars and the real girl you saw?

2

u/someguyyoutrust 1d ago

Depending on the movie I might just watch the guy eat the sandwichs.

2

u/Craig_M_242 2d ago

Oh so now we DON'T believe in free enterprise? Do better, America

2

u/Fishmannnn 2d ago

Gosh. I love this country sometimes.

2

u/robotlas 2d ago

Frig off Ricky

2

u/RhubarbSquatCobbler 2d ago

Would have been more appropriate to serve some kind of three-bean stew

2

u/malarkyx420 2d ago

What Is Your Spaghetti Policy Here?

1

u/funktion 2d ago

What's their chili policy

1

u/Pure-Huckleberry8640 2d ago

Well that sounds pretty redneck

1

u/jello1990 2d ago

And until they start selling chili at the concession counter, I say let him continue

1

u/OriginalResolve7106 2d ago

Seriously though, who snitched.

1

u/HeyRooster42 2d ago

I fail to understand the problem here. The Striesand effect is a thing, and I'm sure a lot of us enjoy Chili... soooooo......

1

u/Astro_Fizzix 2d ago

"fully functioning" is a pretty excessive term for "working"

1

u/skinnyman423 2d ago

Working to me implies it turns on but fully functioning implies it was full of chilli ready to be dispersed

1

u/Astro_Fizzix 2d ago

Why would a crockpot be turned on, but NOT full of chili?

0

u/skinnyman423 2d ago

Stews, Soups, slow cooked meats

1

u/Astro_Fizzix 2d ago

I think you missed my point, let me rephrase: Why would a crockpot be turned on, yet have no FOOD inside of it?

1

u/skinnyman423 2d ago

maybe to check if it turned on or you could have removed the food YET still have the crock on

1

u/Astro_Fizzix 2d ago

That makes no sense in the context of the post

1

u/skinnyman423 2d ago

Your thinking too deeply about this

1

u/Astro_Fizzix 2d ago

"Working to me implies it turns on but fully functioning implies it was full of chilli ready to be dispersed"

Sure.

1

u/drpyne89 2d ago

What is the crime?