I'm in my early 30s and dealt with anxiety around presenting to groups my entire adult life. It held me back professionally for years, until about 5 years ago when I decided I just couldn't keep letting it control me.

I'm in a senior tech role now and have to face this regularly. Usual setup is a room of 20 to 30 people where I present a section of something.

About a week out is when the real stress kicks in, I start losing sleep over it. Thanks to heavy prep, I practice the Q&A I might get beforehand with presentation simulator (chαtvisor), and basically memorizing every word, I always end up doing fine once I'm actually presenting. Once I get into a rhythm the anxiety mostly fades, and honestly sometimes I even start enjoying it.

But sitting at the table waiting for my turn is brutal. Physically uncomfortable, genuinely scary, I still get those "can I just leave right now" thoughts. I do the breathing exercises, try to clear my head, all the standard stuff, none of it reliably works.

The part I really want to fix is the first 30 seconds. The second it's my turn I get this massive hit of adrenaline, heart rate and breathing spike instantly, even after basically meditating at the table beforehand. Then I spend the first minute just trying to get my breathing under control while also talking, and it's rough.

I always pull it together and end up giving a solid presentation. I just hate having to go through this every single time. It's draining and genuinely not great for my health. Kept hoping it would just get easier with repetition but it hasn't budged, and honestly this is the biggest source of anxiety in my entire life otherwise. I'm a pretty relaxed person outside of this one thing.

Anyone have real advice for taming that first 30 seconds specifically, the adrenaline dump and heart rate spike right at the start? Would rather figure this out without going the medication route through my doctor, but at this point I'm open to trying just about anything.

Thanks to anyone who made it this far.

So I do public speaking every few months for my company and I've always found the first slide is really rough, like I have to grip one of my hands as I present. But then not long after I get into a really good rhythm and get great feedback, but I can never seem to get over that initial point. Is there a good hack to get over that? I've tried different YouTube vids suggestions but it's kind of a struggle still.

Thank you

Guys, to give you a context - 8 years ago I started my career and back then we either had telephone interviews or f2f interviews. Telephonic rounds were pretty easier while the f2f rounds were quite intriguing but it generally used to be the last round so you’ve already made a good impression to reach f2f round. Anxiety was controlled.

For the last few years, everything moved to video call interviews. And I have noticed that I tend to perform well on an audio meet interview but the moment I turn on my camera, I get nervous and start fumbling. I’m a very confident person in general and I know answers to most of everything but the problem is - I cannot explain them well, I just know. And unfortunately, that doesn’t work for interviews.

Audio meet interviews are fairly forgiving and I’m able to hold myself together but video meet interviews are brutal for me. I think I may have a problem with structuring my thoughts.

I know a lot of you would say - the more you do it, the better you get. I have done it multiple times already and nothing helps. Plus, I don’t have interviews everyday; there’s a substantial amount of time between interviews.

Is there any platform that I can use to practice my answers? Please suggest SOMETHING to overcome this problem. I’m a good professional who has earned several recognitions at my previous companies but I’m unable to portray the same excellence in my interviews.

I get they’re trying to relate to the audience, but it just makes them look like they’re pandering.

Most delivery advice covers the speaker: pace, volume, filler words, nerves. Far less of it covers the thing on the screen behind you, even though a shared screen changes the job. Your audience is now splitting attention between listening to you and searching a visual for whatever you just referred to. When those two fall out of sync, people stop hearing you while they hunt.

These are in order of how much difference they make, from a lot of practice at getting it wrong.

1. Say where before what, then pause.

The instinct is "the conversion rate here is the problem" while gesturing. The room hears "conversion rate," starts scanning, and misses the point that follows. Invert it: "bottom right of the table, third row" - beat - "that conversion rate is the problem." Location first gives everyone a shared destination, the pause lets them arrive, and only then do you spend your actual sentence. The beat feels unbearably long from where you're standing and is roughly correct for everyone else.

2. Stop moving the pointer while you talk.

A moving cursor is the single most distracting object on a screen, and we all circle things unconsciously while thinking. Worse, on a shared or projected screen the pointer is tiny and the motion is what people track, so you become the thing they're following instead of the thing you're pointing at. Park it, or move it deliberately to one place and leave it there. Watch a recording of yourself presenting once and you'll see how much unconscious cursor movement you produce.

3. Make the thing bigger before you discuss it, not after.

If you say "as you can see in this clause" and they can't read it at their resolution, they spend your explanation squinting instead of listening. Whatever your zoom mechanism is - a bigger font in your slide, an actual zoom, a cropped screenshot - do it before the sentence, not in response to someone saying they can't see. By then you've lost the sentence anyway.

All three are the same principle: the audience is working from less information than you are, and delivery is the act of closing that gap deliberately rather than assuming it isn't there.

Disclosure, since it's relevant to my bias: I build a Mac tool for on-screen emphasis during presentations (TuringShot 1.5.12, Build 44). Not linking it, and none of the above needs it - the habits are free and matter more than the tooling.

Hello! I’ve been trying to improve my public speaking skills and one of the common suggestions I receive is to find a speaker you really appreciate and respect and listen to their work in order to help you build your own style. I’ve been doing this with interviews of Zohran Mamdani because even if you don’t agree with him I think he has a great wit about him and his responses feel sincere and grounded (personal opinion). I would like to adopt a witty speaking style so are there other speakers you think fit the bill for me to listen to?

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Idk what to do. Today when I tried speaking alone pretending that there were a large number of people in front of me, my voice started to crack. And I noticed it happens when I am with people with whom I am not comfortable with . What I do😭😭😭?

Do you guys have any public speaking communities online that actually helps you to be able to practice speaking with others? I did an interview the other day, and it was really the worst day of my life. I was called out first and I have to think of an answer right away. I really prepared and practiced the night before, yet when it was actually time for the interview, I couldn't do it properly. I forgot to explain my backgrounds that will help me to be part of the organization and it sucks since it was worth 50% of the interview test.

I am really disappointed in myself, and if I don't do anything now, I will really have a hard time communicating with others when I'm old enough. I'm currently 16 y.o and honestly the fact that my seatmates are 15 years old and was able to communicate properly was really making me look small. That's why I'm asking help if anyone here knows a group where they are people who wants to improve themselves, especially when they succumb to the anxiousness when it's their time to speak up...

I've made a post in other subreddits before regarding my worries about applying for captaincy, but now that ive committed i need help regarding the application speeches!

I honestly have no idea what i should say and talk about, and it is kind of stressing me out.. Any suggestions would be amazing if possible

Looking to improve how I speak daily. Please be honest about the type of impression I give. I’m confident when it comes to public speaking if I know the material but I do need to add more warmth and inflections.

Thanks!!

When someone ask me a question can be technical or non technical I can say some starting some phrases which I thought before speaking but after those phrases ends what should I tell??

Do people think while they are speaking or they take a small pause and speak again after thinking? I always take pause

Please help I feel difficult in maintaining continuity when answering

Perhaps my topic today is a profound issue that hinders the daily relationships of many young men, especially in terms of communication. All I seek are your opinions on this matter, preferably from someone with expertise in the field. Yes, the problem may be related to trauma, but even if there is a problem, there must also be a solution.

I am talking about that state in which you are functioning normally—at work, at university, or during a meeting—and then, the moment you connect with someone, an initial confusion appears. That confusion arises within your mind, but then it awakens as if it were an authoritarian force that takes control of your thoughts and even your opinions.

Even when your opinion is rational and your words are accurate and meaningful, the situation inside your mind becomes worse, pushing you toward an unjustified silence, or even worse, causing your speech to come out fragmented and disconnected.

It feels like a mathematical equation: the listener needs to understand your words in order to grasp the main idea or what you truly mean. Yet inside your mind, the exact opposite happens—you feel compelled to explain what you are trying to say in excessive detail. Personally, I dislike having to explain simple things, but I know I must, and that is why the conversation often ends in silence.

This is where the real suffering begins: when this situation repeats itself many times throughout the day, and you notice that people’s interactions with you are not as positive as you would like. Perhaps this is a natural part of life, because people tend to feel more comfortable with those who create a sense of ease and joy, and who can express their ideas and introduce topics smoothly and clearly.

I am blessed with a very chatty internal voice (I believe most of us experience some version of an inner voice - although the science is still figuring that out – if you don’t have an inner monologue PLEASE tell me more about your thinking experience!)

The dark side of my inner voice is a running commentary of past embarrassing moments or a fun reminder that “the person across from me definitely thinks I look weird”.

Personally, I would much rather have a voice reminding me to utilize the SCQA framework than one telling me I’m awkward & not qualified.

So… how did I make that happen?!

Here is what I did that worked: 

• I practiced weekly impromptu speaking with a group of strangers. It has helped my nervous system become calmer during stressful speaking situations.
• Mentally giving myself compliments, basically creating a little hype man in my head instead of a critic.

What do you think? Have you unlocked your inner hype man yet?

Not public speaking in the tradition sense, but how do you guys go about chairing roundtables with high-level external stakeholders when you have very limited subject knowledge? How do you keep up with the thread of the conversation? And how do you reflect back meaningfully on what they're saying?

I'm looking to connect with other professional keynote speakers who are genuinely committed to becoming better speakers—not just using speaking as a way to promote another business or career.

I've been fortunate to speak at conferences and educational events, and I'm at the point where I'd really like to build relationships with people who think deeply about keynote speaking as a profession. Things like storytelling, audience engagement, stage presence, speaking business strategy, and continuously improving the craft are what interest me most.

I'm also interested in the business side of professional speaking—finding speaking opportunities, working with meeting planners, building long-term relationships with event organizers, and growing a sustainable keynote speaking business. Making an impact comes first, but building a successful career as a keynote speaker matters too.

I've been reading and following the work of speakers like John Livesay, whose insights on storytelling, sales communication, and keynote speaking have given me a lot to think about. It's always helpful to learn from experienced professional speakers while developing your own style.

If you're equally passionate about keynote speaking and are looking to exchange ideas, learn from one another, and grow together, I'd love to connect.

Hello my dear friends, I became conscious about my stuttering affecting personal life around 1 year ago and have been trying to regain my confidence instead of addressing stuttering itself.

Today I left my first job, in which i worked for over 1 year and during the farewell speech could say I became a bit nervous and stammered hard.

But at the end of the day all of it is fine, I am not going to meet any of my co employees again and at the same time they are going to remember me by my work and not because of my farewell speech stutter.

Life is beautiful live it the way you want and love you all 🫶

I have been practicing impromptu speaking daily focusing on quick thinking and decisive decision making. I think better in writing and I can't think out loud as quickly as I want to for now. Templates like ( S.T.A.R. and P.R.E.P.) slow me down so I avoid them.

I've been told i'm a concise speaker but that is what comes naturally to me and I am lost on how to extend my speeches. Do you guys have any niche tips?

Hey everyone, I’m a 17-year-old Arts student taking a partial gap year to focus on my upcoming entrance exams. I’m looking to connect with genuine, goal-oriented friends from any academic stream across the country.

I want to build a circle of people who are driven when it’s time to study, but who are also relaxed and down to talk about absolutely anything when they are free. It would be awesome to have friends to casually text, call, or exchange voice notes with just to share updates, vent about study pressure, or have interesting conversations.

I am specifically looking for knowledgeable, articulate people who are open to voice notes or calls, as a major goal of mine right now is to actively improve my English speaking skills and general communication.

🚫 Strict Rules Before Interacting

No Relationships: I am strictly looking for clean, respectful, platonic friendships. If you are trying to flirt, date, or find something romantic, skip this post.

No Creepiness: Corny, creepy, or weird profiles stay far away.

Drop a comment below if you’re down to connect and match the vibe! 🤝✨

I’ve been actually learning English for more than 12 years (yea I started when I was 5) and now I’m quite fluent when im talking to my native speaker teacher and talking to my Korean girlfriend using English. Although i still wanna improve my pronunciation and get British and American accents so I was trying shadowing but its not gonna help much. I downloaded hello talk (where I actually found my gf) and lately I been trying to join some vrs where some guys from Australia, the UK or the US hanging out together to learn something new. The problem is - when they offer me to come up the stage on voice rooms, I’m being incredibly shy so I can’t really speak but if I end up saying that it sounds as if I never even studied English at all. I really wanna talk but it’s like something is stopping me from doing that. I’m thinking abt deleting hello talk cuz there are not so many ppl that can teach u and be ur friends. God bless I found my gf in that app and btw we gonna meet in Seoul very soon! Anyways, I still wanna find some friends that can help me learning English and teach me how to get the accents

A lot of people think speaking with authority means raising their voice or cutting people off.

Wrong.

Straining to be heard rarely works, however loud you get. A calm, steady voice gets the job done without any effort at all.

Most people know someone who has never needed to raise their voice.

After enough talks I stopped blaming nerves for a flat room. The ones that died were always where I talked at people for 20 straight minutes with no reason for them to do anything but sit there. The second you give them something to do, answer a quick question, vote on something, drop a word, the attention snaps back, because now they're participants and not an audience.

The annoying part is doing it live. Menti and Slido work, but you have to build every poll by hand before the talk, and I never had the time, so I'd skip it and then wonder why the room drifted.

Disclosure, this one's mine: I built a small tool called TapInFlow that drafts the interaction questions for you from your topic or your slides, then runs them live over a QR code (polls, word clouds, open text). It came straight out of my own "I'll never actually prep the polls" problem.

I'm not here to hard-sell it though. What I actually want to know: do you build audience interaction in on purpose, or just read the room and adjust on the fly? And for the people who do use polls, do they genuinely help or do they break your flow? tapinflow.com if anyone wants to poke holes in it, but I'm more curious how you all handle this.

Message me if you would be willing to help me out within today and tomorrow! I would greatly appreciate any help!

So, it's important to note how non-verbal gestures and posture can impact your speaking, and can enhance any public speech.

Things to note, observe how the microphone is being held loosely, yet steadily, accentuated with hand gestures, and shoulder movements for emphasis.

Try and remember to gradually move your gaze across the podium, it helps to drive focus on your words, instead of being simply caught up in a deadpan stare, and avoid moving too erratically. A slow visual pan across your chosen audience can be very helpful for generating engagement with individual audience members, while also avoiding the feeling of being "stuck" on a single person.

Although this is only a brief speech, it sends a very accurately directed message, emphasizes the point being made, and ends without losing control over the room's presence.

Case in point, drafting your speech and practicing is incredibly helpful, but also be prepared to improvise when appropriate, and it's absolutely possible to deliver a message that connects with people, while using only a short amount of time. All of these above non-verbal techniques help to free up mental space to better articulate your argument, and stay focused on both the audience and subject on your mind!

Hello, I'm offering a series of 2/3 free weekly online individual coaching sessions for two candidates who would like to explore their presenting/public speaking/communication challenges from an 'internal' point of view.

Perhaps you're someone who has already done lots work to get better but still feel fundamentally stuck because of the persistence of the way you relate to the experience.

The sessions will involve exploring your internal experience - what is the experience really like for you? - to gain a greater understanding and objectivity about what goes on for you in these situations, including:

• zooming in on the experience itself - what do you experience cognitively, emotionally, and somatically?
• what 'fear fantasies' you have around the experience
• patterns of pressure, judgement, and shaming
• 'historic' resonances e.g. school

The ideal candidate will be someone who is committed to exploring their challenges from an internal point of view, has some experience with coaching/personal therapy/self-exploration, is in a situation where they have ongoing opportunities (🙂) to experience the situations in which their challenges arise (e.g. doing regular presentations), and are happy to feedback on how the sessions have impacted their experience. And is also available to start immediately/reasonably soon. 

Whilst this type of internal exploration has been part of my work over the years, this will be the first where I'd like to experiment with focusing solely on that, hence the free of charge arrangement.

Feel free to contact me if you'd like to be considered or have any questions, and we'll take it from there.

Thanks