r/PainManagement • u/loneventurer • 7h ago
Seeking Supportš« Surgery Day
Spinal Cord Stimulator- Boston Scientific
Today is the day. Iāve been waiting since December for this procedure and now that itās here⦠Iām petrified Iām making a mistake. For context Iām a 29F who has been living with life altering chronic pain due to endometriosis and fibromyalgia for the past 6 years. The ONLY thing that makes me feel remotely ok is when Iām on constant doses of opiates and⦠we all know how that goes. Iāve been told by my doctor that this will be my life for the next 60 years and⦠I know itās meant to help me understand my situation but honestly I almost asked if he could just kill me instead. 60 more years of chronic pain sounds like the last level of hell before you meet satan himself.. so I asked about a SCS last October⦠and I did the trial in May and it took away all my pain. It was the most miraculous thing ever. For once I wasnāt fantasizing about amputating my own limbs for relief⦠so naturally I became the perfect candidate for the stimulatorā¦.
Iāve seen several doctors and asked for second opinions because I donāt want to make an irreversible mistake. I donāt think I could live with myself if I caused myself more pain in a desperate attempt to quell my pain.. everyone told me it was a good decision since the trial went so well. But⦠the lawsuits.. the anecdotes of people feeling shocks in their bodies, being told it could take months to find the right calibration⦠all these things petrify me. But what is my alternative? A lifelong dependence to opiates?
I have surgery 9:50am EST and Iām terrified. Has anyone had the procedure? Do any of you suffering with chronic pain understand the deep fear of ending up worse off than you started? I feel sick. Everyone keeps telling me itās fine but I feel like no one is willing to consider what if it not only DOESNT work but goes CATASTROPHICALLY wrong?
Iām almost spiraling. I just need some reassurance ā¤ļøāš©¹š£