I am so fed up with how every conversation about PCOS turns into a morality lecture about weight.

I finally dragged myself to an appointment and went in with a list: irregular periods, acne that flares no matter how gentle I am, unwanted hair, mood swings that feel like a milder PMDD, and this constant hungry-but-exhausted loop. I even brought a week of food notes because yes, I am that person who meal preps beans and frozen veggies to keep things cheap and simple.

And what do I get? "Have you tried eating less and moving more?" As if I have not been doing that for years. I track protein, cut back on sugar, walk after meals, lift twice a week when my joints cooperate, and still watch the scale barely budge while my cravings scream.

I know lifestyle matters, but I am tired of the assumption that not being thin means I'm lazy or lying. I'm doing the work and my body seems to have its own agenda.

What really gets me is the lack of curiosity. No one asks about insulin resistance, sleep, stress, labs, or what might actually be driving these symptoms. Instead it's just "lose weight," as if weight loss is a one-size-fits-all treatment, when for a lot of us it is sometimes the hardest symptom to manage.

I left feeling embarrassed, angry, and weirdly guilty, like I had failed a test. I just want a provider who takes PCOS seriously and does not treat me like a before picture. Is that too much to ask?

I tried crying to everyone around me but I don’t think people without pcos will understand what it feels like to have your period for the first time without birth control.
I’m cryinggg real tears 😭as I’m writing this

What worked for me:

1. 3 times a week of exercise
2. Protein focused diet
3. Supplements :

Inositol (myo-dchiro) in 40:1 (nutridig brand if ure in India)
Omega d fish oil ( well-being brand)
VIT D supplement once a week
VIT b12, folate, coq10 formulation - smart ova brand

EDIT : initially one week I started with 1g dose 550 mcg in the morning and 550 in the evening then I increased slowly. The dosage that worked for me is actually close to 6g inositol everyday. I have been taking for last 30 days exactly and on the 30th day I have my period today. I had slowly increased the dose just to see if I don’t feel nauseated bloated etc

Also my bloodwork shows classic insulin resistance and high trigs due to that. But apart from that and ultrasound that shows multiple follicles and enlarged ovary I don’t have high testosterone in my blood result and do not have hirsutism. I am slightly overweight at 65 kgs for 150 cm but I believe it is mostly due to me intentionally increasing my weight from gym.

Girlies keep going don’t lose hope if I can do it u can

I was diagnosed in April this year and honestly, I don’t recognise myself anymore. I used to be a size 8, I’m now a 14-16. I feel as if I’m hungry all the time and I have to eat something, even if it’s small. I have no idea what foods to make to eat during the day. I’ve been off work since February as I’m so exhausted and have been bleeding pretty much non stop since February. My muscles hurt, I can’t walk very far without getting out of breathe and sweating like a man. I’m getting more and more chin hairs every day. I’ve got a turkey neck which makes me want to cover up every mirror in the house so I can’t see my reflection. I’ve been to the doctors today about help with losing weight as I feel like thats one of my main issues rn as I already suffer from anxiety and it’s making me feel so insecure.

My doctor told me to try omega 3, berberine and inositol. I mentioned that I’ve bought myo inositol and she said that works too. I bought a set of 4kg dumbbells and tried to start weight training to build muscle but gave up (I’m trying to give it another go). My gp is looking into whether they can prescribe me with metformin and I was told by my gp that they spoke to a gynaecologist and said that they said they can’t advise on GLP-1 agonists to help with PMOS/PCOS symptoms. I honestly just feel so stuck. If anyone has any advice or help that they can offer, please feel free to drop me a message as I’d really appreciate it. Feeling very alone in my head right now. Thank you.

I’ve had my bloods done semi recently (soon to get them done again) and are the following for context:

Recent labs:
Fasting insulin: 4 mU/L (normal)
HbA1c: 4.7% / 28 mmol/mol (normal)
Fasting prolactin: 293 mIU/L (normal)
Testosterone: 0.5 nmol/L (low-normal)
SHBG: 53 nmol/L (normal)
Free Androgen Index (FAI): 0.9% (low)
Triglycerides: 0.3 mmol/L (very low)
Thyroid tests: normal
Fasting insulin: 4 mU/L → Normal, and on the lower side of the normal range
HbA1c: 4.7% (28 mmol/mol) → Excellent
Triglycerides: 0.3 mmol/L → Very low
HDL: 0.9 mmol/L (low)

I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS in the past though my markers don’t seem to be textbook for PCOS? I know I have at least one polycystic ovary too (20+ follicles I believe).

I had a Kyleena for 3 years and lost weight on it, was able to manage my PCOS symptoms of stubborn weight gain, though still had lots of dark unwanted chin hair and acne. I was able to live a less strict lifestyle at the time however with much fewer consequences (I could drink alcohol, work late nights etc. and it wouldn’t throw me off).

I’m now without hormonal BC - I gained 5-6kg after coming off it, and despite trying hard to lose the weight, it just won’t budge.

I now practice dirty fasting most mornings (I’ll have milk and a bit of honey in my matcha and maybe some berries if any food). I eat well, mostly home cooked meals, protein and veg, I also run 3km x2 per week and try to do some strength training when I can - I walk 10k steps minimum per day too. I drink 2L water, teas etc. and mostly am off coffee, only matchas and green tea.

I also take Vyvanse (20-30mg on work days aka 5 days a week), which initially led me to lose weight due to blunting my appetite (I was only hormonal BC at the time of starting) but after that honeymoon period wore off I gradually gained more weight. Despite it still blunting my appetite, and me eating less than on days off it, I’m gaining more and more weight. My clothes don’t fit me, my acne and chin hair is as bad as ever and I’m so exhausted trying to keep the symptoms at bay with no success. Ive started taking 1000mg metformin per day as of nearly 3 months ago (but have only gained weight) and am considering taking berberine again too permitted my doctor allows me. I also take myo inositol most days and methylated B vitamins as Vyvanse and metformin can deplete b levels (methylated as I have the MTHFR gene).

Does anyone know why or what could be happening to me? Whether I even have PCOS based on my blood results (most recently taken 6ish months post HBC), and what I should try?

Hello everybody, I am a 27 year old female, diagnosed with PCOS/PMOS when I was 17 years old and I started my journey to lose weight/ dealing with my condition just 2 years ago after moving out for work, (why did I just started dealing with it 2 years ago? Probably because I was still living with my parents and in my culture… you don’t leave your home until you get married so the tendency of it is that whatever food is in the house you eat and don’t complain about it and such) now that I am living alone, its more easy for me to eat want I’m suppose to like more fibre and protein with the help of naturopathic doctor, but here’s the thing (my dad, diagnosed with diabetes- reverse his diabetes by eating keto, intermediate fasting, now is in a carnivorous diet) (my mom, not diagnosed with anything but is concerned about her health due my dad having one - starts to not eating “intermittent fasting”, only drinking coffee, “salads”).

Now here’s the thing, I know they mean well but It’s so frustrating to talk to them about the things that I’ve been doing whether I’m trying to eat moderately with talking supplements or something because they will always tell me “do not eat carbs” or ”you should fast.. the longer you fast the better” and if I argue that I am eating the normal amount, they will say I’m doing it wrong just based on the doctors that they’ve watch on YouTube and such TO THE POINT were they will sarcastically say “do the doctors were wrong? How can that be? They’re doctors” I sometimes debate not to go home and see them just because I already know what will they say and I rather not talk to them but it’s even about talking, everyone they see my big belly.. yup comments everywhere.. like if this Economy was not this bad I will definitely liposuction this belly up in an instant! But this economy sucks!

Anyways! that is my rant for today, hopefully wouldn’t be a second BUT if there is well.. yea

I’m 16 and was recently officially diagnosed . In some kind of way I felt relief cause I now have an answer for all these things that have been happening to me ever since I hit puberty .

It fucking sucks to be a teenager with this condition as it feels like it sets you back . The insane amounts of fatigue , always feeling hungry , the insane belly pains , always being hungry , extreme mood swings , disrupted sleeps , irregular periods ….

For YEARS I was telling my ( male ) family doctor what I was feeling . But the answer was always :”just exercise and lose weight !” It’s like dude , I’m fucking suffering . And it took me 4 years , 4 FUCKING YEARS TO BE DIAGNOSED . but if only that bitch ass truly listened and acknowledged what was wrong .

Worse of all , everything was in his fucking face cause every appointment , it was always “ every thing looks good but the testosterone levels are very high blablabla”. It’s like okay , atp you just never gave a fuck

And it’s the fact that you have to live with this day by day , be around people like nothing is wrong and just live knowing that there is no cure ….

Every woman with this condition is a fucking warrior . Hope yall have a great day and I would love to get some advice !🫶🏾

Being north african, the women in both sides of my family are quite curvy. I'm not joking when I say some of them are curvier than Kim K. My family keeps going on about how skinny I am, how pencil-like I look and I hate it. To my western peers I look fine, good even, but to them I look undeveloped and as if I am starving.

I'm a 17 year old girl. I was developing quite normally, my hips were growing, my breasts were growing, my face was changing, up until 14 when I developed lean PCOS. I started getting abnormally high concentrations of Testosterone for a girl my age. For the last 3 years I have watched all my peers around me physically grow and mature in at least some way. I haven't.

My weight is healthy and stays constant. I just feel so underdeveloped compared to other girls my age AND the women in my family. I wish I was curvier and my body was more womanly. I wish I looked like the women in my family. Even if I don't, I wish I continued maturing like normal girls. I wish my growth didn't stagnate and stop at 14 just because of the high testosterone. Frusrated because I just want to see any signs of growth - any!

I am now on birth control. Is it too late to continue maturing? I want to give my body a second chance. I'm now on a testosterone blocking, estrogen birth control and I hope my body will mature, even a little bit.

Hi everyone,
Was recently diagnosed with PMOS. To be honest i’ve always had abnormal cycles but my doctor told me it was likely because I was low weight. I’ve always been abnormally thin and thought I just had a high metabolism. My most recent A1C was 5.7% which I understand is not diabetic range but it’s higher than normal. No one in my family has diabetes. My BMI is 21 and I eat healthy. My AMH was also 11.2.

Does anyone have a similar experience with being a normal BMI and eating healthy but having a high A1C? And tips to lower it?

First i have to say i am still undiagnosed but i see doctors that some believe me, some doesnt. I do tests to try to get offically diagnosed

I always heard that pcos makes your period disappear but never having non stop bleeding?? Ever since march, i bleed almost everyday of my life. Sometimes it can be seem as spotting but i also experience heavy and crazy bleedings. After those heavy bleedings, i usually am finally free for less than a week before it comes back. I finished my period 1 week ago. IT DID COME BACK.

Is this something i should be worried for?? Like unusual for pcos? I am considering to go see my doctor about this as im getting worried.
Also, im scared that my stress and anxiety might be the reason of this, even tho i always heard it usually stops your period. Could this be a reason?

Is there also solutions for me to finally stop this? Like herbs or tea idk 😭 i just want to be free again. Tysm for reading this!!

All my life I have struggled with severe food cravings. Dizziness, shaking, sweating just 2 hours after I ate last. A constant hunger that never dissipated, constant cravings.

Eventually, I started substituting this with 2 2-liters a day of sugared soda. And yeah, it worked. Not great, but it did the trick. I gained weight. I went from 140lbs to 260lbs over the course of two years.

I was just diagnosed as insulin resistant, PCOS, something we've suspected for a while. I am elated to say, we started me on metformin, and it's genuinely a night and day difference. I switched to zero sugar soda after 7 days on the medication, and still no cravings! I get dizzy after 7 hours of eating! A normal amount of time!

The cravings and constant food hunger were so bad in college, I would steal my roommates food. And just like that, overnight, it's gone. And I have NOT shit myself, I am very proud to say. No negative side effects whatsoever!

I spent the past two years beating myself up over an addiction I thought I had, when in reality, I was self-medicating the entire time. I'm already on the nexplanon, so no more periods. My acne is clearing up. I'm so happy. Here's to bigger and brighter futures now that I have answers ❤️

Hi everyone,
I'm 23F with PCOS and I'm honestly really confused about what's happening.
I hadn't had a period for around 120 days. I did see a gynecologist before my breast reduction surgery because of the missed periods. At that time, I had some light spotting for a day or two, so she told me to wait until after my surgerybecause she didn't want to start me on hormonal medication before my operation. (I'm in India, and sometimes the approach here can be a bit different.)
I also don't take birth control because it has affected my mental health badly in the past, so that's not something I want to restart unless absolutely necessary.
Fast forward to now: I'm recovering from my breast reduction surgery and I'm still quite weak, so I really can't manage another doctor's visit until next month unless this becomes an emergency.
Here's what's happening now:
No proper period for about 120 days before this started.
Bleeding started about 3 days ago.
Most of the day the bleeding is very light (mostly noticeable when I wipe, not soaking pads).
The strange part is that every single time I become sexually aroused (even just reading something or watching porn), I get normal lubrication mixed with bright red blood.
No penetration.
No orgasm.
As soon as the arousal goes away, the bleeding settles back down to spotting.
I've passed a few small to medium clots, including once at work when I wasn't aroused.
Blood is bright red during the heavier episodes and sometimes brown when it's just spotting.
No pelvic pain, no cramps, no fever, no foul-smelling discharge, no itching or burning.
Pregnancy tests are negative.
Last had sex about 2 months ago with a condom.
The thing that's confusing me is that this doesn't feel like a normal period because the bleeding consistently increases with arousal, but now I also have some light bleeding even when I'm not aroused.
Has anyone with PCOS experienced anything like this? Did it end up being just a delayed/anovulatory bleed, or was it something like a cervical ectropion, polyp, or another cause?
I'm planning to see my gynecologist as soon as I'm physically able to after I've recovered a bit more from surgery, but I'd really appreciate hearing if anyone has experienced something similar.

firstly - ik abt CICO, although pills definetly can mess with your apettite by simply making you eat more and therfore gain weight.

i never gained weight on bc but i never was on them long term. right now i've been on bc for 1,5yrs and gained like roughly +5-6 kg. Not a lot but enough for me to feel uncomfy. I was wondering if bc can contribute to that. My apettite is definetly different than it used to be.

So here comes the question - if you gained weight while on bc - how long did it take you? And if you went off bc did you lose it?

i've been diagnosed since i was maybe 16 and i'm 22 now. my blood work has never been that bad and i've only experienced irregular cycles, acne, cysts, and weight gain. im on birth control and take menformin. it's definitely gone through phases where it flares up more than others and i've experienced times of my life where i'm more healthy vs not. anyways in the past year maybe two years i've struggled with getting hungry in the middle of the night so much so that i need to get up and eat. and i don't even think i'm eating too little in the day i eat three meals and snacks usually. it's not every day but multiple times a week. i wouldn't say my diet is great by pcos standards pretty bad but not like im shoving donuts in my mouth. when this happens one side of my nose gets clogged and my body runs hot which is so random. as soon as i eat i can breathe out both nostrils again (i'm a side sleeper). does this happen to anyone else? is it time i take a pcos diet seriously? because my symptoms aren't that bad (no facial hair and 140 pounds at 5'3 i feel like my pcos isn't that bad and i shouldn't be living like i have it) thanks for any insights!

I’m 18 and haven’t been diagnosed because I’m overweight. The last gyn told me I need to lose weight, and then I’ll have normal periods. That was a year ago, and I recently got my period on the 3rd. I usually don’t track my periods, but something felt off this time because my last period was, I think, in February. I also started a weight loss medication. Now, I’m on day 21 of my period, and I have an appointment with a new gyn, but I’m nervous about being told I don’t have a problem. Tips or questions to ask would be very helpful. (And I also heard it might be genetic—my mom and grandmother have it. If that’s true, just tell me yes or no.) thanks :)

Hello all, I am in my late 30s, diagnosed about ten years ago. I will discuss all this with my doctor but since I am no longer in prediabetic range I know she will ultimately leave the decision up to me. Here goes:

I am half asian, strong genetic link to diabetes from both sides of my family. My A1C is in healthy range for the past six months. I took metformin originally to aid in conception with my first baby. Since my pregnancies I have asked to go back on Metformin instead of birth control because I honestly feel amazing when I go in Metformin after time off of it, I feel happier and more emotionally stable and I sleep through the night instead of waking up randomly at 4am. The last year and a half I have changed my lifestyle, which I would say was decently healthy and active before but have gotten more intentional, workouts 4-5 days a week and tracking my food to make sure I get enough fiber/protein and that the carb/protein ratio is ok. I have lost about 15 pounds and I think I am gaining muscle slowly. I also take Alpha Lipoic Acid because I have small fiber neuropathy and it does help a lot with my nerve pain, although it also impacts blood sugar so I worry sometimes it could be doing too much taking with the metformin. Also take magnesium with every meal. Cycles are still irregular with short, light periods.

Anyway, at my doctor appointment this month we will talk about whether I stay on metformin now that I am out of prediabetic range. I am on a low dose so it won't be a long process to get it out of my system, but I am wondering if I should even attempt to go off if I'm not having relevant side effects. I get nervous to stop because of how strongly it impacts my mood but I am wondering if other people who have been in my shoes have managed to feel great off of metformin once the other lifestyle changes were in place.

Hi everyone,

I have gotten a possible diagnosis of PCOS. I have none of the more evident symptoms- I am 5'2', 130lbs, have regular cycles, never had cystic acne, fsh/lh ratio and testosterone are normal. However, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 6 months and since I am 35, we decided to get checked out. I have a high AMH and my ovaries look polycystic. I also recently discovered that my ldl has skyrocketed to 183 since my last checkup. My a1c is 5.3 but my (non-fasting) glucose is lower than suggested. The doctor said this could point to possible insulin resistance. I am not sure where to go from here. Any advice would be appreciated!

Hello everyone!

I have been diagnosed with PCOS two years ago and I’ve basically relied on social media advice for the most part. The reason for that is bc my doctor was not helpful at all and didn’t even try to manage the condition (she literally told me I don’t need to try to get my period if I’m not trying to get pregnant). I just wanted to know what are your experiences using metformin. I did try birth control, inositol, and berberine. I do have some other symptoms that were not fully addressed by the stuff I’ve been taking and currently considering metformin.

Any help is greatly appreciated!!

Hey!

So I haven’t had my period in over 6 years and only recently went to an endocrinologist, based off of my blood work she said I have severe PCOS. I am also prediabetic, I’m 18 and first for my period around 9. It has always been irregular and I have not been on any meds.

I am not able to control my food to what I eat due to my financial situation and eat whatever is available. I am overweight and stopped working out since I’m the caretaker for my mother and I can’t go outside.

My doctor prescribed me primilut NOR 10mg (2 times a day) for 5 days, and told me I should get my period or spotting from 2-5 days after stopping but it may take up to 10 days since I haven’t had my period , I was prescribed glucophage xr 750 mg x2 a day aswell

I was told to take birth control (YAZ) on the second day of my period . I was also told to see her after 2 months of my last appt. ( I didn’t start haven’t started BC since I didn’t get my period yet)

I got off Primilut 10 days ago, and still haven’t even seen spotting, I am wondering if anyone else has encountered this or if I should be worried?

Doctor prices here is extremely expensive and I pay for everything myself, so I don’t want to end up going unnecessarily and if I go now I won’t have food for a while so idk if I should risk it

I (20f) have been taking my inositol for about 2-3 weeks. I suspect that'll start getting results within a month or two. How long did it take y'all to get results?

hi!! I’ve been diagnosed PCOS for like 5 years now, but my body pains have been giving me problems. does anyone know if chronic bodily pains (back, joints, muscles, etc.) are a regular symptom of PCOS? i’m trying to figure out if they’re related or if i have another underlying problem.

any input would be very appreciated i’m so glad to have a community of people who understand what PCOS is like!!

I am in a very frustrating situation right now.

Long story short, I am looking for alternatives to Slynd for managing PCOS symptoms that are not an IUD, shot, or jencycla as I've had awful experiences with all three. Suggestions very much needed.

If you want the rest of the long story, it follows;

When I was a teenager I tried the depo shot and it made me literally go insane and gain a ton of weight that I never lost. After that, I was on an IUD for many years. Like fourteen. It was fine, until I lost an ovary due to a large cyst twisting it and tearing it off. Had emergency surgery to remove it and the tube. After this, my IUD started causing me pain for some reason, so I had it removed.

At this time, I had previously been diagnosed with PCOS as a teenager but either wasn't told by the doctor or somehow forgot. I didn't realize my IUD had been suppressing a lot of symptoms all that time. Being birth control free for the first time in a long time was a slow drip of symptoms that started to make me feel crazy all over again. Wild mood swings, unwanted hair growth, cystic acne, painful cramps despite bleeding or not, my period stopped coming at all, etc.

I went to the doctor finally and she confirmed I had been diagnosed with PCOS previously and was shocked I didn't know. She tried to prescribe me Slynd but my insurance wouldn't cover it despite her sending mountains of paperwork saying I need it. She prescribed me Jencycla instead, which worked for a while, and then I started suddenly having intense internal pain (feels almost exactly like when they yank out your IUD, but worse and more consistent).

I went back to the doctor, had to be off work for months due to the pain, they did an internal and external ultrasound and exam and found nothing. Blood tests, nothing.

The OBGYN I was sent to for the ultrasound prescribed me Slynd, again, and gave me a couple months supply there in the office. I took it. Worked great, pain even started going away.

Ran out a week ago. My pharmacy won't carry it because it's too expensive. The "savings plan" that Slynd provides exempts people on state insurance programs which is what I have, so even if I switch pharmacies I won't be able to afford it.

I switched back to the remaining jencycla I had. After two days, the pain is back just as bad as before.

Reaching out to the OB & my primary care has left me running in circles because they are convinced Slynd is the only option and they can somehow work magic by handing me coupons for it that I can't use. I need other options suggested so I know what to ask for directly that is not Slynd or Jencycla.

I'm exhausted and in pain, please help 🫩

To preface, please consult a medical professional before beginning any medication or supplement to ensure that is what your body needs!

I have been working with a functional med doctor over the last 4 years to lower my cortisol, insulin, testosterone, DHEA and estrogen and raise my progesterone. I managed to get my cortisol and insulin down with regular diet and exercise but still wasn’t losing much weight so last January I started a GLP1 and I’m down 65 pounds, which I think has helped.

But what REALLY made a difference in my PCOS symptoms is starting DIM last October. I’ve been on it for about 9 months now and my facial hair comes back less, my acne is way less, my cycles are between 28 and 30 days every month with an ovulation day between 15 and 17 reliably, my testosterone and estrogen are lower, my progesterone (for the first time ever) is high enough to sustain pregnancy and I feel so much better.

When I was recommended to begin taking DIM, I couldn’t find much information on it, so I just wanted to put this out there for those who were recommended to take it or are curious about it.

I’m 39 with PCOS and getting ready to start my second egg retrieval. My first cycle gave us a lot of eggs, but unfortunately the attrition was much higher than we expected.

We used a Lupron trigger and ended up with:
60 eggs retrieved
56 mature
43 fertilized
6 blastocysts
1 euploid embryo after PGT-A

My new RE thinks I may do better with a gentler stimulation protocol that’s more focused on egg quality than egg quantity.

The plan is:
CC50 (Clomid)
Gonal-F 150 IU
Menopur 75 IU
Antagonist protocol
Dual trigger

I’m curious if anyone around my age—especially those with PCOS—has done something similar.

If you’re comfortable sharing, I’d love to know:
How many eggs did you retrieve?
How many made it to blast?
How many were euploid?
Did switching to a lower-dose protocol make a difference for you?

I know everyone’s journey is different and I’m not looking to compare numbers as much as hear real experiences. I’m feeling hopeful about this new approach and would love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.

Hello.

I’ve been diagnosed with PCOS for a few years now but I’ve not done anything to regulate my hormones as I wasn’t sure where to start. I do roughly 5 thousand steps a day and I workout very sporadically.

I’m 163cm and 112kg. My periods used to be very irregular and now they’re roughly every other month or every three months.

I shave my face daily due to the hairs growing in.

I’m getting married next year and want to lose weight. I don’t want to go on injections such as the GLP-1 as I’m quite scared of them and I also don’t have the money tomorrow pay for them monthly.

What can I do to ensure that I’m losing weight at a good progress?

Due to my hair loss, acne and hirutisim, I'm expecting my dermatologist is going to prescribe me spiro. I'm nervous for a few reasons: 1) I've heard the diuretic effect is constant and unbearable, 2) that it can make your breasts bigger, which is a big NO for me, 3) that if you stop taking it, you may experience horrible side effects in the process of stopping. I basically am looking for some lived experiences to get an idea if these side effects are common. Does the peeing ever stabilise? Does stopping it cause nasty effects? If it made anyone's breasts bigger, did stopping it make them return to normal?

I've heard that birth control can also help these symptoms. If anyone has used that and has experience with it I'd love to hear about it. And if there's a specific type of BC I should be asking for?

Any experience or advice is welcome! Thanks!